whispering,

i'm paralyzed, where are my feelings? i no longer feel things i know i should. i'm paralyzed. where is the real me? i’m ( l o s t ) and it kills me inside. i'm PARALYZED. when did i become so cold? when did i become ashamed? where's the person that i know? they must have l e f t with all my faith

[ohmysupernatural]

[dcclclly]

‘ i’m more of a fan of open-ended unrequited love. ’

“ i-i’m not sure i... i know what that means? “

[dcclclly]

‘ i really only know how to handle rejection and ridicule. ’ w/ lucien lol

“ o-oh, well... “ while jensen was familiar with the topic, had even spent a nearly a decade feeling the same way, it was hard to hear coming from someone else. “ i-i’m sorry.. “

[littlelovelymemes]

✰ * º ❛   the o.c. sentence starters.   ❜

‘  she/he’s right over there. look. stop. wait. don’t look. i mean, you can look, but don’t look like you’re looking.   ’ ‘  wow. i’m sorry. i should… really learn to knock, incase there’s a threesome going on in the bathroom.  ’ ‘  you guys really wouldn’t hurt me because that’d be so cliche.  ’ ‘  i’m sorry for all the craziness.  ’ ‘  i wouldn’t have done it any differently.  ’ ‘  yeah, i’m fine. i’m just having an allergic reaction to the universe.  ’ ‘  he’s very wise. he has a beard.  ’ ‘  maybe i can’t be just friends with you!  ’ ‘  but with the added stress of work and deadlines, things can get sexy.  ’ ‘  no more hugging. physical contact freaks me out.  ’ ‘  remember when the boys made us watch that movie about the gay guys on the mountain? lord of the rings?  ’ ‘  there’s too many young, tan, healthy people here. i don’t like it.  ’ ‘  do you ever wonder what your life looks like through someone else’s eyes?  ’ ‘  my life just doesn’t work without you.  ’ ‘  i just don’t want us to fall apart.  ’ ‘  your break-up is missing a key ingredient. the only ingredient really… that you don’t love me anymore.  ’ ‘  i love you… this much. and i wanna be with you now and next year and whatever comes after that.  ’ ‘  i like you… this much.  ’ ‘  if you can honestly tell me that you don’t love me anymore, just say it.  ’ ‘  if you don’t love me, i promise i’ll go by myself and i’ll be cold and miserable and alone and i will never bother you again.  ’ ‘  i don’t love you anymore.  ’ ‘  just get away from me, okay? get out of here.  ’ ‘  you had me three months ago and you left.  ’ ‘  this has nothing to do with me. it is about you and it is only about you.  ’ ‘  it’s not like now that we broke up, i’m choosing you, okay? cause the whole reason that we broke up is cause, for me, it’s always been you.  ’ ‘  it’s always been you. i’ve tried to fight it and i’ve tried to deny it and i can’t. i can’t do it. you’re undeniable.  ’ ‘  sorry i abandoned you in the desert?  ’ ‘  when i found out it was your pregnancy test, i totally freaked out and i thought this would change everything.  ’ ‘  then he asked me if i could imagine a time that i’d never not wanna be with you, and i realized that the answer is no.  ’ ‘  i’m doing this because i love you and i want to spend the rest of my life with you.  ’ ‘  you know that once you propose to me, you can’t take it back?  ’ ‘  will you marry me?  ’ ‘  look at all these people. these normal, non-traumatized people.  ’ ‘  you only want me when you can’t have me.  ’ ‘  a triangle’s not a friendly shape, okay? it’s pointy. it’s got sharp edges.  ’ ‘  nothing i hate more than perky blondes who want to take over the world.  ’ ‘  you weren’t the only virgin in the room.  ’ ‘  there was someone else in the room? like, filming us?  ’ ‘  are you high?  ’ ‘  you’re my little snow angel.  ’ ‘  acknowledge me now or lose me forever.  ’ ‘  i didn’t know they had musicals there. or dancing. or laughter.  ’ ‘  no one there is as funny as you.  ’ ‘  so, we finally agree i’m the funny one?  ’ ‘  you know what else i think you enjoy? me.  ’ ‘  what happens in mexico, stays in mexico.  ’ ‘  we have my entire life of never doing anything wrong which lulls my parents into a false sense of trust.  ’ ‘  welcome to a life of insecurity and paralyzing self-doubt.  ’ ‘  just don’t talk to me!  ’ ‘  i really only know how to handle rejection and ridicule.  ’ ‘  first of all, ‘obsessed,’ it’s a pretty strong word.  ’ ‘  you know what i like about rich kids? nothing.  ’ ‘  first of all, no. second of all, no.  ’ ‘  dude, what did you tell her?  ’ ‘  maybe the black turtleneck in august tipped her off.  ’ ‘  i was going for stealth. also, it’s slimming.  ’ ‘  it’s fate. it’s destiny. look, we both like burritos.  ’ ‘  sometimes when i like someone, i sometimes kind of, uh… stalk them.  ’ ‘  with the right attitude and a couple cocktails, it could be fun.  ’ ‘  i’m so screwed. bruce banner gets mad, he turns into the hulk. i get mad, i turn into like, a 75 year-old yenta named sylvia.  ’ ‘  what am i going to do without you? who will i play jenga with?  ’ ‘  you’re so wise. all your sage wisdom. what am i gonna do without that?  ’ ‘  do you know what i dream about when i dream about thanksgiving, which is often? i dream about eating so much deliciousness, that all of the blood rushes to my stomach and i pass out at the table.  ’ ‘  i’m more of a fan of open-ended unrequited love.  ’ ‘  kids don’t date anymore. they hang out in groups and peel off to hook up.  ’ ‘  you are the sid to her nancy, the kurt to her courtney. 50 cent to her… mrs. cent.  ’ ‘  that’s it? no advice?  ’ ‘  what advice? call her, apologize, it’s not rocket science  ’ ‘  how’s life? we never talk anymore. who are you?  ’ ‘  i handled that situation so wrong. i just… i should’ve never returned her calls. i should’ve dated other girls.  ’ ‘  you just wanted to turn me into a little bitch baby like him.  ’ ‘  of course, i didn’t mean to hit you.  ’ ‘  i just find it interesting how your hand collided with my face.  ’ ‘  i feel that way all the time… it hurts too much.  ’ ‘  i’d kiss my boyfriend three times a day if i knew where the hell he was.  ’ ‘  and he’s just gonna get bored with me because pretty much all boys do.  ’ ‘  you turned me into the type of girl that is so desperate for affection that she doesn’t know how to be in a relationship.  ’ ‘  maybe you just need something to take your mind off of it.  ’ ‘  with everything we’ve been through for the past two years and the fact that we’re still here really makes me think there’s nothing we can’t handle.  ’ ‘  i love shopping, tanning, and celebrity gossip. always have, always will.  ’ ‘  you’re my destiny.  ’ ‘  go save the world.  ’ ‘  and you, with all your little flaws and your little quirks, somehow you keep drawing me back in.  ’ ‘  i’m not pregnant. is it inappropriate to celebrate?  ’ ‘  you like the chase and that’s all.  ’ ‘  what do you want from me?  ’ ‘  i just want you.  ’ ‘  was i really mean to you?  ’ ‘  why can’t you accept that i’m uncomfortable with public displays of affection?  ’ ‘  you’re offering yourself for $10 a pop at a kissing booth?  ’ ‘  i’ll always look up to you. and not just because you’re taller than me.  ’ ‘  family time’s always the best when it’s forced.  ’ ‘  i’m not emotionally equipped to process this information.  ’ ‘  i love you so much.  ’ ‘  you’re my best friend forever, okay?  ’ ‘  i still love you. i really, really love you. i just can’t… i just can’t.  ’ ‘  i’m marrying you tonight.  ’ ‘  it’s me and you and that’s the way it’s supposed to be.  ’ ‘  hey, do not insult them!  ’ ‘  it’s like one guitar and a whole lot of complaining.  ’ ‘  yeah? so, what you’re saying to me is then… that the more neurotic and insecure i am, the more you’re attracted to me? well then, do i look fat in these pants?  ’ ‘  face it. our chemistry is undeniable.  ’ ‘  you know what else is undeniable? the pain this fork is gonna cause when i jam it into your eye.  ’ ‘  we should take our pants off.  ’ ‘  i was nemo and i just wanted to go home.  ’ ‘  don’t blame me for your sexual tension.  ’

[dcclclly]

i owe more replies than i can count on jensen but im so close to passing out again so i’ll do those when i wake up again

[dcclclly]

so i’m like,,,, hella sick??? and i’ve been sleeping all day (it’s like 5 pm) because i downed a good bit of nyquil, but i’m here now to hopefully do all the replies i owe!!

[justrpmemesandmusings]

Send “New Years Kiss” to give my muse a kiss at midnight on New Year’s Eve

[dcclclly]

rcsecheek:

    whether it was the cold that finally got to her or the tremble of Jensen’s body as he cried, Marcie felt glued to the spot. never one to comfort people ( not even herself, sometimes ) she couldn’t quite bring herself to touch him, hesitating a moment before gently draping one arm over his shoulders. she was almost tempted to brush the remaining petals from his hands but refrained, too nervous to do so. instead it went to her pocket to pull out a tissue. slowly it extended out towards him.

    “ i know, ” she said quietly. “ you can … plant more. ” the suggestion seemed almost USELESS but whatever words of comfort she could offer, it’d have to do. “ can you stand? it’s freezing out here. ”

he remembered her from when they were younger, her face popping up in his mind alongside his sister’s. she was a warm face, a warm memory, heated against the chill of the wind. she was a friend. his mind had nearly forgotten what that word meant, but as the warm touch circled his shoulders, the word burned bright. 

“ w-why would--- w-w-why w-would they... t-they d-destroy it, i--- “ his words were accompanied with a thousand yard stare, the tears drying and his mind beginning to roam. he had spent months trying to be someone else, trying to make this town know him as the sane one, and here they go and destroy the one thing he loved. jensen didn’t reply, merely wobbled to a stand, leaning against her touch.

[dcclclly]

i only did a couple replies on each bc im hella tired, but i’ll be on tomorrow!

[dcclclly]

avectristesse:

“outside, like in my front yard. figured you were either drunk, or well something else that can go in the bad category. are you… okay i mean? should i call anyone?” ace asked, tone laced with concern.

“ i--- i, uh, don’t have anyone in town... i-i can walk home, i’m fine. “ something scared him about the scene of it all. he had no idea why he would have been in the other’s yard last night--- hell, he couldn’t remember anything from yesterday, other than waking up. and that’s what scared him most. maybe the pills weren’t working? did he even take his pills yesterday? too many questions whirled in his brain, and jensen could barely keep his head up.

[dcclclly]

oldhcart:

leon tended to be determinedly present person; inattention always tugging at his coattails. his phone was full up on pictures of everything. anything that might keep his shit memory and wandering mind in place for a while. the garden had been something he’d stumbled upon a few times; photo evidence resting somewhere in an album of a time that it had been well in BLOOM. but it was a far sight from what greeted him that day as his feet lead him past. he’d never even seen anyone IN IT, let alone crying over it. though perhaps his own aggressively ODD hours were to blame for that one. “ do you want help ? ” he asked softly, eyeing its sad state of disrepair. december probably wasn’t prime gardening season, but what else was he meant to be doing today ? he’d see cru when he made it home.

jensen could feel the twitching flooding his body, hear the voices calling out to him, begging him to go ape shit. but he was far too depressed to do anything so rash, not in the presence of his beautiful, destroyed garden. it was the only thing that kept him grounded, and there it was, torn from the roots. he thought the other to just be another voice in his mind, but as the foot peeked in his vision, his eyes snapped over. they were wild and tear filled. “ t-they’re--- t-they’re g-gone. “

[dcclclly]

rcsecheek:

even though she was no longer beneath the watchful eyes of her parents, old habits couldn’t be shaken. without failure, whether it be Christmas morning or the day after, she’d find herself on the doorstep of a friend’s house and clutching to a heavy dish filled to the brim with food. this year it was a simple pastry, barely out of the oven.

though absentminded for most of the walk she couldn’t help but stop in question at the curses that floated down the quiet street – this was the right house, she knew. the voice, too. it was Jensen’s, hoarse in the clear air. his sister could wait “ hey, shh, ” she’d set the dish down hurriedly, feeling the cold of the ground seep through her jeans as she knelt beside him. “ i’ll take you inside, come on. tell me what happened later. ”

the town garden he maintained was nothing compared to the one in his front yard. he had spent the last two months planting and growing every winter flower and plant possible, anything to keep his mind off the voices, the hallucinations, and there it all was, destroyed. he was shaking, shredded petals falling from his fingertips. he recognized the voice that soon appeared, but it did nothing to calm him. “ it’s--- it’s all--- it’s all d-dead. “ frantic motions tried to put the torn flowers back into the plowed dirt, but it was no use, they were shriveled and dead. 

his head snapped over to the girl, warm tears trailing salt down his cheek, a wobbling lip spewing nonsense. he could see the laughing figures around him, hear them chanting in his mind. 

[dcclclly]

yknow sometimes i forget sam winchester was in hell for a hella long time but then i point my phone at the ground and get better wifi than if i point it to a tower, and then i remember that bitch brought wifi to hell

[dcclclly]

no matter how cold it got, or how many holidays passed, you could always find jensen digging away in that garden. it was his pride and joy, and the only thing that seemed to keep him sane--- but someone, some cruel, terrible person, had plucked and tore and shredded every flower left in the garden, all on christmas. he was on his hands and knees, spewing whispers and curses and get out of my head‘s as he tried to put it back together. but nothing would make it right again, not as simple as he wished it was, not as quick as he wanted it to be. hot tears streamed down his face as his bare hands dug into the freezing dirt.

[dcclclly]

avectristesse:

ace had been reading when he finally heard the voice of the stranger who he had found outside. “uh, in my guest room.” he replied softly, placing the book on the table next to him. “i kinda found you, brought you inside.”

jensen’s eyes seemed to peek open. he found him? “ w-where... where was i? “ the shakiness in his voice had returned as the man sat up and looked at the other.

[dcclclly]

SMS✉ [ Unknown ]

Noah: idfk how did you get this number

Noah: how would i text if i was a dog??? with my tail right?

jensen: you texted me first...

jensen: paws?

[brucebannerramma]

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