hi, i'm jia

just a little dcp diary lol | fall advantage '21 - libra - she/her - 20

[dcpjia]

write me a letter!

hi! as you probably know, i'm jia :-)

i'm doing the disney college program, and i loooove letters! so shoot me a fun little email/letter at [email protected]!

[dcpjia]

entry #2: i move in tomorrow, and to be human is to be kind

Did you know that if you listen to Ribs by Lorde when your plane takes off you unlock like five new emotions? It's absolutely true, I tried it today. As the plane not-so-gently lifted into the sky and Lorde's nostalgic lyrics bounced between my ears and my hometown grew smaller and smaller, I wondered how I even got here.

I sat between two strangers on the plane. A young father to my left, and a silent woman with a book to my right. At the beginning of the flight, the man to my left silently offered Clorox wipes to the lady next to me and myself. The moment, simple as it was, left me smiling beneath my mask as I thought about humans and their penchant for kindness. Like the couple, who I met at the baggage claim, that briefly spoke to me about the college I attended and helped to make sure I was in the right spot or the handful of Cast Members who congratulated me on my program and walked me to the right paths to get where I needed to go. I couldn't stop smiling all day, because there are so many people in this world who are just inherently kind to each other. Leaning out of the way so another can look out the window as if to silently say "I want to share this beauty with you," offering directional help without prompting because "I don't want you to get lost," offering sanitizer, masks, and wipes and kindly implying "I don't want you to be sick." My heart truly aches with the kindness of it all.

And the people around me, they're so happy. There is a child in the hotel room next to mine, who has been loudly laughing for the past thirty minutes. They sound old enough to know they're in Disney, but young enough to buy into the magic in its truest sense. Children on ferries and monorails smile shyly behind their masks, waving at the strangers around them. Couples and friends turn their shoulders into pillows, hands are held and foreheads kissed.

I had lunch at the Polynesian. The pulled pork nachos, one of my favorite meals on property. I had them once when I was fifteen, the last time my whole family went on vacation together. The monorail isn't in service at the Poly right now, because of construction, so I walked to the TTC to catch the monorail to Magic Kingdom. And as I crossed the entrance to get to the busses, Happily Ever After began. And, uh, wow. That's like all I can say. I'm not the kind of person to cry at the parks, I'm an emotional person but, like, seeing the castle for the first time in a while or the firework shows don't make me burst into tears (and if they do for you, that's chill! It's nice to love something so much it brings you to tears.). But when I heard the intro, saw the first fireworks, I felt a little misty. It felt like a congratulations, it felt like the culmination of years of planning and hoping and wishing to get here. I can only imagine how I'm gonna act when I see it in the parks for real.

I was planning on making a YouTube video today, an introduction and the DCP tag. But I was so tired that I didn't feel like getting to it. Not to mention I'm terrified of making and posting videos. I want to document this, I want to film and edit the videos and share them, but I'm so scared of putting myself out there like that. It's weird, I don't talk to many people from college, and even less from high school, and yet I'm afraid they will all converge on my videos and tear them apart. Even though none of them, or mostly none, watch DCP vlogs and there is a very low chance that mine will even get anywhere. Maybe I'll give it a shot tomorrow? I know people vlog at check-in, but I've also got like four suitcases and just me, so I'm not sure if I want to juggle that and a camera. Oh, who knows. I'm sure it'll all work out.

If you're reading this, thanks, pal :) I appreciate it. This is my little Disney diary, away from my name and face so I can be as candid as I'd like. If you're enjoying reading my posts, feel free to shoot me an email, and we can be penpals. I looooove letters haha.

Tomorrow, it all really begins. I meet my roommates, the people in my group chats, settle into my new life. Terrifying and magical stuff.

[dcpjia]

entry#1: roughly 2 days until I leave, an introduction and some worries.

Hi, to anyone reading this!

I'm Jia, and I am doing the Disney College Program this term. My program starts this Monday, and, while I have an instagram and yt channel, I'm still an English major and want to keep an active and interactive journal about the things I do. I am 20, sort of go to a college in the Midwest, have only half packed, enjoy classic literature, and am stressed about being only half packed. I am a Virgo moon, so you would think I would have my things together, but I also have ADHD, which works wonderfully.

For my program I will be working at Storybook Circus. This is funny to me, because all the media I am putting online basically details my work location, and when I was a child I wasn't even allowed to indicate my age. Storybook Circus, as far as I've heard, has been closed for a while. I've only heard roughly two other CPs in chats with the same location. The costumes are yellow and red suit-ish style things, which I originally found horribly ugly but I'm slowly growing to like them. Part of me wishes I was somewhere with a cuter vibe and costume, like Sunset Boulevard or Emporium, or somewhere cool like Galaxy's Edge. But it's whatever because I'm going and that's enough to be grateful for, not to mention one of my dream roles.

I have wanted to do the program for years, ever since I was 15. And the coolest thing about wanting something for so long is that it does feel like things are falling into place and it does feel like a dream is coming true. But the worst thing about wanting to do something like this for so long is that I've had a mental image of what it would be for so so so long. And now I'm here, and it's hard to avoid the crushing disappointment that it isn't exactly what I imagined.

The college program, at least, as long as I have known it, is very picturesque. It's part of working for the mouse, I think. Everything in Disney is beautiful, which is on purpose. And so the 'disfluencers' often fit that label. I've always wanted to vlog my program, and I'm still planning to. With a "dinsta" account to match, too (Neither of which will be advertised here, sorry haha). But the more I watch other CP vloggers, the more I find myself comparing my looks, my style, my interests, even my college experience. Which, I suppose, is just social media anyways. The constant and never-ending comparison. Or, as lyrical master Olivia Rodrigo sings, "jealousy, jealousy." And, I suppose, always pictured myself as them when it was my turn.

These are just silly worries. An amalgamation of body issues and insecurities and jealousy shouldn't get in the way of this internship. I'm going to work, to learn, to make friends, and, obviously, to make magic.

God, I am just sitting here. Writing about leaving. Listening to happily ever after for the first time in months, for the first time while knowing I'm going to be able to see it every single night if I'd like. This is insane, and I want to scream my head off in excitement.

I'm signing off, hoping to write again tomorrow.