The Aftermath of the Three of Us
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@dddoctopus
The Aftermath of the Three of Us
In mood for some quick doodles
Airbrush on paper first try
“TOBACCO CHOCOLATE” Tom Ford’s new 2026 perfume is serving M2M.
i wasn't so happy with this drawing but whatever! the goggles always kill me a bit :(
anyway, just a thought: the first few days matt worked with mello, he was in a constant state of wtf & shock. adult mello was just so much more outrageous and extravagant than kid mello. but after a week, matt got completely used to it and learned to just hold a cold, deadpan face.
meronia week will be returning this august, in exactly three months! prompts will be released one month from now to give participants who wish to prepare their entries in advance plenty of time to work on them. find the event rules here, and follow this page to stay up-to-date on announcements— we're excited to see you all this summer!
I wanna be in now thinking what to cook!!!
from your friend etorphine
hi everybody,
i'm still alive, but i use tumblr very sparingly and don't really look at my inbox. i'm sorry to miss your asks.
i get a lot of questions about these few things though so i'll clear things up now:
will there be more audio dramas?
yes, two more scenes were recorded, and @jeevasphere and i are editing and finishing them.
they will be held until i have more release plans for crush or evidence, however, so if you do see them being uploaded - it means more's coming!
will there be an audio book in the future?
the first chapter was recorded with narration from david robert moore, mello's va, and this was done for a proof of concept but has stalled because i've run into issues with casting, financing, and all that jazz.
a whole audiobook (678 pages! 41 chapters!) would be an extremely hefty time + financial commitment that i won't be able to reach for another hundred years, even with your gracious help.
i'm not exactly sure what can be possible with this - if i start a kickstarter or something, would people donate? - the stretch goal is pretty high (in the tens of thousands at least), so i'm not very optimistic. BUT, i'm open to hearing your responses and i can see what can be done.
please reply below and let me know!
when is evidence being updated?
this is becoming more pressing to me over the years because there are a lot of loose ends i want to tie up here. i'm planning on writing it in the next few years. IT'S COMING. i'm slow, but it's coming.
i'll be writing a lot of side stories and other scenes in order to prepare myself to get into it, as well as some other ideas i've had in the past (unrelated to crush!verse) - so you can expect that to happen.
where can i buy crush / the gold room?
physically, crush is available at your local amazon or lulu. i am no longer selling copies on my bigcartel store.
due to its sexual content and running into printing issues, the gold room is out of print right now as well, but you can still purchase an e-book copy. please email me at etorphine[.]commissions[at]gmail[.]com and i can direct you to payment options.
please note that this book is NOT suitable for audiences under 18 and i may ask for age verification if i believe that you are underage.
can i still purchase extra scenes / backstories / nsfw goodies?
sure! email me at etorphine[.]commissions[at]gmail[.]com and i can get you some.
here's the menu of things that are purchaseable: https://etorphine.drr.ac/#ficlist
how can i contact you?
if you'd like to reach out to me about crush or audio related things, please feel free to email me at etorphine[.]commissions[at]gmail[.]com, i try to reply as i can!
thank you for all your support, and i'll answer any other questions you might have in the replies just for ease of access.
love you!
I actually have sth to look forward to now!!! The audio is so good, feels like the two boys souls are back. And Evidence is still there I’m crying.
i have this au headcanon where m2m are a techno dj duo (berlin vibe), playing really dirty, cool, hardcore techno. my direct inspiration is schwefelgelb (i’m a fan lol). still collecting other inspo.
mello and matt really just work together, there is no leader. they both have adhd/audhd, so the high bpm techno really stimulates their brains and they just love making it. it's all about music, hanging around, djing, clubbing till 2pm, drinking, and just having fun :)
near is solo with his multiple pcs. he djs more online and drops vinyl eps, but doesn't club in real life cus that’s way too many humans for him. he probably has a very unique style that i'm still imagining. but since he’s pretty much always indoors, the sounds he captures are all digital, ripped directly from media. not much outdoor natural sound at all.
the three of them actually collab somehow and enjoy it. mixing each other's eps and stuff. in this au they just get to enjoy a different life and appreciate each other instead of the linear competition.
also i think they do some fun online dj sets during covid. we know that era was depressing, but hey, we can still live with music! the lockdown isolation forced m2m to live together for a while, so they ended up making so many new tracks and really turned it into a whole theme.
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I really enjoyed this even it’s like 20 yrs ago but epic still.
Quote out of the “LA BB Murder Cases”, so full credit to that
I imagine Matt is calling Mello emo as he’s writing this.
I truly hope you enjoy as I plan to illustrate more of the book! Sadly I think these few pages are a bit too busy, but still.
Is anyone going to see the Barbican Death Note musical? I’m counting days.
damn boy needs some fucking friends
Still trying to figure out these two lil paintings…
//Interesting Mello things I’ve noticed while attempting to make a canon-accurate cosplay:
Mello’s gun in the manga is specifically a Beretta 92FS INOX, which is stainless steel with a black grip and details, as opposed to the standard Beretta 92FS, which is all black.
Also, as you can see, Mello has attached a Celtic cross to his gun in the manga. None of the other crosses shown in his design are Celtic, but this one is. Go figure.
Not only does Mello wear one rosary, he wears two. In addition to the five decade rosary he wears around his neck, he wears a shorter, one decade rosary around his left wrist. (Also noticed: Mello’s rosaries have cross pendants, not crucifixes.)
Contrary to what I always assumed, Mello only wears biker boots during the Takimura abduction part of the plot, before Obata completely settled on a design for him (he also wears white pants at that point, which he never does again either). Once he becomes the black leather pants Mello we all know and love, his boots–as you can see above and below–are just square-toed dress boots.
Mello’s leather pants are consistently shown as being frayed or torn at the hem. Why? Aesthetic, apparently.
There are no clear images of the weird lumpy shapes on Mello’s wallet chain, but they seem most likely to be skulls. Which is so perfectly “teenage boy attempts to look badass” that I can’t help but love it. (It also appears to attach directly to his belt, somehow? I don’t even know.)
Mello’s hairstyle changes subtly after the explosion. Unscarred Mello has a very neatly coiffed bob with the ends curled under. Scarred Mello’s hair is straighter and wilder.
Sorry if this is unwanted commentary, but I was reminded of what someone else has pointed out long ago, namely the fact that Mello’s gun is almost exactly copied by Obata from the movie Romeo+Juliet:
This is Benvolio’s gun (or a good replica anyway). Striking resemblance. (Though upon googling apparently the model is not the same despite the rest of the design matching because this seems to be a Sword 9mm Series S ?)
//That is definitely wanted commentary, because now I get to talk about one of the few bits of handgun history I actually know something about. Though Benvolio’s gun is labeled a “Sword 9mm Series S” in the movie (in order to make Shakespeare’s lines about swords sound less ridiculous when everyone’s waving a gun around), there is no such model. Benvolio’s gun is actually a spiffed-up Taurus PT99 with the original lettering erased:
Which, as you noticed, looks an awful lot like a Beretta 92FS:
Why the similarity? Between 1974 and 1980, Beretta was under contract to provide Beretta 92 handguns for the Brazilian military, and one of the terms of the contract required them to open a factory in Brazil and use local Brazilian labor. When the contract expired, Beretta sold that factory and everything in it to Taurus (which was already based in Brazil). Taurus proceeded to make minor cosmetic alterations to the Beretta 92 and go right on producing them, now as the Taurus PT92. (Since the patents for the original Beretta 92–which the Taurus model is based on–are expired, Taurus could do this without having to get a license from Beretta. Weird but true.) The Taurus PT99 is merely a PT92 with an adjustable rear sight. The two lines of guns have been updated and developed independently since then, resulting in more divergence in their appearance than there used to be, but they’re still undeniably close cousins and almost impossible to distinguish from a distance.
You can tell that Mello’s gun is a Beretta rather than a Taurus based on the exact position of all the fidgety knobs (this is where my limited knowledge of handguns runs out, shut up) and the fact that the black grip continues back further toward the back of the gun at the top, but it’s definitely possible Obata was inspired by Benvolio’s gun and confused the models when looking for a reference image.
Ventricular Bigeminy
(A plot I wrote following these drawings, think the timeline would be sometime in February, 2010.)
Near’s sudden cardiac episode was diagnosed as ventricular bigeminy. With no congenital history, the doctors proposed it was a sudden crisis brought on by extreme overwork or emotional distress. When an episode hit, the heart stole an extra beat, followed immediately by a sudden, hollow pause. As if two people's heartbeats were forced into the same cramped room, pumping frantically until they both collapsed from exhaustion. His chest was simply too narrow to contain the crushing weight of it.
Another palpitation.
Near was lying in the hospital bed, the room tilted into a dizzy haze. Yet, drifting through the pain, his mind began to spin with strange thoughts—he found a twisted comfort in the ache. A punitive reward. The price he, as a survivor, ought to bear.
Near did not believe in God. He wasn’t an atheist initially—having looked a Shinigami in the eye, the supernatural was no longer a matter of surprise. Nonetheless, he refused the concept of a saviour. If one existed, the mechanics of this world would be far too grotesque to justify. “Perhaps these gods actually want a blood-soaked world of betrayal and false accusations.” Mello had written something to that effect in the Los Angeles BB Murder Cases. After everything, did Mello still look upward? Near knew Mello had possessed a kind of faith. But the end happened absurdly soon; he was left no time to make peace, never a chance to ask what, exactly, Mello was whispering to in the dark.
Till this very moment. As Near lay there, knowing Mello would forever be more still than him, and it was finally clear where Mello was located, a wish arose. Near wished for a God. An Almighty to reach down, retrieve Mello’s soul, and grant him true, quiet rest.
Thump-thump. Thump-thump.
Another violent stutter in his chest. Near furrowed his brows, sensing a sudden, involuntary wetness gathering at the edges of his eyes. The pain was no longer a concept to be understood. It was real, and it was happening to him.
“What matters to me is L.” He could hear Mello reciting that line from his book. The phantom voice dragged Near violently awake.
He wasn't just Near. He was L. He had been L all along. The original L had meant the world to Mello, and Near was the one who had snatched that lifelong dream right out of his hands. So, he had to fulfil the duty. He had to be an L who wouldn't disappoint Mello, an L who wouldn't disgrace the ghost of the first. It didn't matter how apathetic he used to be about the title. Even the idea of inheritance was the least of his interests. He never asked for any of this, but he needs to carry on. He could not afford to fail now. He absolutely would not fail.
The private ward was drenched in blue. Blue to keep you calm, to enforce a fictional peace. The sunlight outside the window was glaring, yet all he could think of was the grey, rainy days in England. In a few days, a memorial for the Kira victims would happen in Wammy’s private chapel. As L, for the sake of privacy and safety, it would be cautious to show no presence, to stay as a ghost.
Near wouldn’t be there.
So he only hoped it would rain.
Quietness, nothing and nobody around the ward. Near pulled himself upright. He gathered the scattered handful of pills from the bedside table, shoved them into his mouth, and took a heavy gulp of water to force them down. The water dragged the jagged, chalky shapes tumbling down his throat. They scratched and clogged his oesophagus on the descent. A brutal, choking swallow. But it didn't matter. They needed to reach his stomach. They needed to dissolve and work.
It is Near’s vocation to recover, to continue, to take on L’s next case.
Post from KR DN Twitter pointing out that in order for Mello's rosary to have ended up hooked over the steering wheel like that, he must have been holding it at the moment of his death.
he makes me so sick i can’t do this
I’m gone:((