nin

sometimes it feels like I’ve got a war in my mind | 19

[ashstfu]

propaganda i am not falling for:

always moving on. some goodbyes need to rot a little. some griefs need to be held in the mouth like a stone.

beauty defined by algorithms. beauty exists in crow feet and smile lines

pretending to be chill. i’m not chill. i care deeply and inconveniently. i read into things. i write poems about eye contact

beige apartments with no soul. give me bookshelves and incense and loud art

sneaky links and unclear intentions. i want devotion. and also clarity

treating books as decor. read them. dog-ear them. argue with them in the margins

[ashstfu]

i don’t think people understand how much of life is grief. not just people dying, but losing the version of yourself you thought you’d become. grieving the city you had to leave. the friends you lost not in argument, but in silence. the summer that will never come back. the feeling that maybe you peaked at 12 when you were reading books under the covers and believing in forever

[deadpoetneenzs]

[deadpoetneenzs]

my day never seems to end. mom woke up in a bad mood. my cheeks got red from the morning breeze, my heart is pounding way too fast. bus driver knows where i'm going, i take the same path i always take, talk about the same thing i always do, go to gym, my body hurts as always. sun kisses my cheeks on my way back, i meet the same people standing in the same places like yesterday, i take bus home, play the same songs i've been listening to for past three months, pick flowers that grow on the side of this road only to throw them in the river i always walk by. i eat my lunch, study, scroll my phone mindlessly, waiting for someone to text me, notice me, remember me. put phone down, disappointed. think about all the things i wanted to do today but didn't and go to sleep. i wake up. my mom woke up in a bad mood. i did too because my day never seems to end.

[deadpoetneenzs]

[deadpoetneenzs]

[deadpoetneenzs]

[gr4ntsfull]

[deadpoetneenzs]

love love love

[deadpoetneenzs]

has anyone else been feeling out of place lately cuz i have 😛☺️☺️

[deadpoetneenzs]

[insufferabledaughter]

[roseforviolet]

[kafk-a]

every day i discover the meaning of life and then i lose it and then again a new day and i discover the meaning of life and lose it by night time and then again and so on

[deadpoetneenzs]

and that might be what life is about

[deadpoetneenzs]

Baby serie netflix (2018)

[salemwitchtrials-deactivated202]

‘The Teacher,’ May Sarton

[lunamonchtuna]

— Robley Wilson (via lunamonchtuna)