Dear existence

no perfect words .. just a bare SOUL

[dearexistence777]

[dearexistence777]

[dearexistence777]

There's always something about cutting my hair .. something liberating , makes me feel that finally I'm alive again , full of life .. I suddenly feel that my heart beats , that everything fell back into place .. the sound of the scissors with every cut , makes me feel that a worry has been erased , traumas all faded , like I'm just a newborn all over again ..

[equimanthorn666]

The development of humanity within the last 10,000 years is crazy compared to how almost nothing happened before. It's like we went from being hunter-gatherers for all of our existence to starting settlements and agriculture just yesterday and today we live in this insane connected world that doesn't resemble our nature at all. It makes so much sense that this many people are overwhelmed by life.

Like, of course technological and scientific progress is a good thing in general, but I think it really makes sense for us to look at how people used to live and take inspiration from that in some aspects.

[dearexistence777]

However love they show me , care , affection , or even need either want , everything.. anything . It's always not me , it's never me .. never been or never will , I don't know what's in me that makes me so unlovable , don't I deserve this love ? Maybe I do .. maybe I deserve love , but never had it, or maybe love doesn't want me like I want it .. I pray that may love find me but it looks like love doesn't want to . . I'm not negative neither pessimistic, I'm just a girl who craves love NO craves the idea that she'll be loved . Will I ever be loved ? It seems impossible, unreachable, like a good dream or a nice tingling idea in my head that makes me bear that maybe I'm some kind of a burden , maybe no one wanna deal with that , yet even if they show any sign that they want it It then disappears.. cause it's not even real , it's all fake .. love isn't like it was before or maybe I'm not that lucky to be loved the way I want, maybe it's not the right time or the right thing now but I just need to make sure or even know for the slightest bit that I could be loved .. cause if I'm not , where all of this love in my heart would go?

[dearexistence777]

Peace 🌟

[dearexistence777]

Cold .. the coldness of the weather makes me feel empty , lost .. I've never understood why ? But maybe cause emotions are complicated, maybe cause it's not always easy to understand them or cope with them , it's never easy to understand the depth of your feelings and even if u did , you try to escape cause it's way too much to accept the reality , the truth of your feelings .. so you detach , some other times you play dumb , stupid and numb. . Cold .. just like the weather that stirred up those emotions, hoping that the strong wind would erase those emotions, flow them away from your heart, and place other beautiful warm emotions.. my feelings are so strong , intense .. but that's ok cause that what makes me a human, that what makes me alive but I hope one day .. I'll be the safe space of my own self, maybe one day .

[dearexistence777]

Being human, existence .. what's it really? Recently, people haven't felt what being human is with depth and rawness. Bare ..it's been a while since people felt their humanity, with all flaws and stuff , social media , famous influencers showing us how to live and what life looks like even that themselves feel lost , it's all for the fame and the need for being listened to , the attention they crave is making people question their existence? Why are they even alive if they're not that rich or perfect just like those influencers, tiktokers , youtubers etc . . ? But it's never been about those avocados spreaded on some toasts , or those clean girl makeup , neither pilates nor Boba tea .. it's all about the experience .. the deep connection to earth , the source of it all ..

I hope we start stopping fake life , fake dopamine , fake everything.. let's just take a moment and look around us maybe , to think of something clever? To write a letter .. let's just try being .. human , unfiltered, real , raw , alive.. connected to even ourselves before the earth around us .. to just .. breathe .