entitled thoughts

my perspective.

[dearfriendiluvyou]

I need to want more for myself.

#136

[dearfriendiluvyou]

Life might not be easy, but with you it should always be easy.

#135

[dearfriendiluvyou]

A part of me I think will always be disgusted that I let it happen. That said, I’m glad it was with you out of all of those it could’ve been.

#134

[dearfriendiluvyou]

Seems like I prayed you out of my life.

Yet I didn’t expect it to happen overnight.

#133

[dearfriendiluvyou]

10 years from now I wonder if that would’ve been the last time we were all here.

#132

[dearfriendiluvyou]

I feel like I’m slowly slipping away. And if you left right now, I wouldn’t even have the strength to hold onto you.

#131

[dearfriendiluvyou]

If I stopped it all right now, I’d miss my interactions and experiences with you. So for now, please continue to keep me afloat in this world.

#130

[dearfriendiluvyou]

Behind all of this, there it is. Dancing at the back of my mind. Such deep incessant sadness and self-loathe. So tenacious and gut wrenching, if only I could cry it out.

#129

[dearfriendiluvyou]

Through a pair of eyes that weren’t my own, you made me feel comfortable in my insecurities, for the first time.

#128

[dearfriendiluvyou]

Words don’t weigh on their heart like it does yours. So continue to take theirs as grain of salt, until their actions consistently prove otherwise.

#127

[dearfriendiluvyou]

I watched you, properly, for the first time in forever. And felt a sensation of warmth in my chest, uninterrupted by aggravation or ill temper.

#126

[dearfriendiluvyou]

Now I’m doubting you (your actions).

This (between us).

What could be.

#125

[dearfriendiluvyou]

To be constrained in a life I didn’t even ask to be brought into. Like give me a break.

#124

[dearfriendiluvyou]

You and I in another lifetime. Not “maybe”. Undoubtedly.

#123

[dearfriendiluvyou]

I never said much to you to begin with. Yet somehow it still feels like I lost you, when you left and began your own life.

#122

[dearfriendiluvyou]

Trying to remember to breathe through all this. Even while every breath feels like suffocation.

#121

[dearfriendiluvyou]

How long can I do this. Like really.

#120