The transcript or notes below are not from me but rather for a sermon I heard from church. The sermon really touched me and revealed to me so much about my struggle and relationship with God. So I am going to post it here for myself to look back at (and maybe those that may be struggling with what I had struggled with).
One of the saddest moments in the Bible has to be from the book Judges, about the story and downfall of Samson. He was one of the judges of Israel but anyone who have read the his story would know how he allowed his weakness - loving Philistine woman and in particular Delilah - lead to his doom. The most heart-wrenching verse is found in this story of Samson:
“... ... But he did not know that the Lord had left him... ...”
Judges 16:20
Samson has committed so much sin and allowed wickedness to slip into his hear that the presence of God was not with him anymore. But the sadder part of this verse is that Samson did not even know that God’s presence had left it. He had become so insensitive to the Lord and allowed so much wickedness into his heart that he carried on with his life thinking God was still with him when God’s presence had already left him.
However, Samson was not the only person in the Bible like that. Reflected in the story of Saul, Saul started out loving God and wanting to glorify God as his appointed role as King of Israel. However, somewhere along the line, the very thing that made him want to serve God resulted in his change in path away from God.
The thing about these two men is that they never set out to turn away form God. Nor did they turn away from God overnight. They loved God and Samson was the Judge of Israel and Saul was the King of Israel. They never wanted to turn away from God but sadly they did... step by step... bit by bit.
Here’s the thing about the devil. He never goes full face on to make you sin. He is a smart little evil fella. He will make you do small little sins that seems ‘alright’ or he will tell you it is okay to say ‘no’ to God that one time. And bit by bit, with each ‘oh, it’s alright’ and ‘nah, no la God’, sin and wickedness creeps into your heart. And you become insensitive to God.
We all start out loving God. We love God a lot. We love God and we were so mesmerized and in love with Him that we felt we could do anything. That love for God, that is our first love for Him. We were crazy about Him. We wanted to learn more about God’s character, what He did, the miracles He did or could do in our lives. We were crazy about God. But somewhere along the ling, just like Saul and Samson, some of us lost that crazy love for God. We went about with our own lives, doing whatever we want. We lost that first love. So although this is a long introduction to the rest of the sermon (notes), let me just start off with the first point.
1. What is First Love?
In the world, first love is when you love someone or something without any reservation. That is the very first time you love and you have never been hurt before so you would give your all for this person because you did not know how to hurt. Your love for that person is unconditional. So what about what does First Love mean to God. It refers to the love that first brought you to God. When we love God, even the biggest obstacles or struggles seem small in your eyes because that is what First Love is. It make you feel like you can beat the world and all its struggles. The intensity of your First Love for God is so intense that the love that flows from God to you overflows resulting in you loving the people around you even more unconditionally. Just like a cup that overflows, the love of God will overflow the vessel (that is you) to others around you. The love for God will compel you to love others as said by the famous apostle Paul. This intensity of love for God can be seen in the lives of both Paul and Moses.
“I say the truth in Christ, I lie not, my conscience also bearing me witness in the Holy Ghost, that I have great heaviness and continual sorrow in my heart. For I could wish that myself were accursed from Christ for my brethren, my kinsmen according to the flesh...”
Romans 9:1-3
“So Moses went back to the Lord and said, “Oh, what a great sin these people have committed! They have made themselves gods of gold. But now, please forgive their sin—but if not, then blot me out of the book you have written.”
Exodus 32:31-32
These men of God had such great intensity of love for God that they were willing to be cursed to go to hell for all eternity so that their sinful brothers and sisters could go to heaven and live with God. Such a strong statement made by these two men of God. That is the true intensity of the first love of God. You will be willingly to reflect Jesus’ love by asking God to forgive the sins of the people around you by dying for them instead. That is the First Love. However, as intense as the First Love of God could be, it is also very vulnerable and fragile. It is easy to lose it if we are not aware and this leads to point number two.
2. How do you lose something as wonderful as your First Love?
In the Bible, Jesus reveal how one can lose their First Love for God.
“Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold,”
Matthew 24:12
When we allow sin to continually enter our hearts, our hears become harden to God’s word and presence. The very thing that goes against and destroys first love is a Harden Heart.
A Harden Heart is developed when we become over-exposed but have an under response to the truth. A Harden Heart is when you repeatedly say ‘no’ to God and decide to do things your own way. A Harden Heart is when you think you open up all the areas in your life to God but decide to keep that one area that you yourself wants to keep in control which will eventually close up every area of your life to God... gradually.
We may do many things for God. We could be serving in church but not serving with a servant heart. We may be singing songs in church but we are not truly praising God. We might go for life group and share but we are not being accountable and honest to them. We can do a lot of things. But the things we ‘do’ is never the first priority to God. The external things we do is not what God is most concern about. It is the internal. It is our heart. Is our heart in the right place with God?
“To the angel of the church in Ephesus write: These are the words of him who holds the seven stars in his right hand and walks among the seven golden lamp stands. I know your deeds, your hard work and your perseverance. I know that you cannot tolerate wicked people, that you have tested those who claim to be apostles but are not, and have found them false. You have persevered and have endured hardships for my name, and have not grown weary. Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken the love you had at first.”
Revelations 2:1-4
The Lord writes to the church of Ephesus acknowledging them of all the good deeds (external) but in the very end, God was only concern about one thing. Their heart. The internal. Although the church of Ephesus was doing a lot of great things for God, they lost sight and the love they have for God. It is the internal struggles and the choices we make that harden our heart. It is never really what we ‘do’. It is the heart. If the heart is not right and harden, how can God ever work in our lives? How can we ever truly experience the love of God? How can we be with God?
Just like how when you constantly practice playing on the guitar strings and get callous on your fingers that make you insensitive to the pain of the pressure of the guitar stringer, when you constantly say no to the prompting and the voice of God, you become insensitive to God’s spirit. Even when God speaks to you, because you have harden your heart and become insensitive to His spirit, you will not be able to hear Him.
But hey guys. All is not lost. We can always return to that First Love for God.
3. How do you find the First Love that lost?
Although we have fallen far away from God, God always provide us a way back to him.
“Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent, and do the works you did at first. If not, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place, unless you repent.”
Revelations 2:5
When we lose a set of keys or something, where is the place that we should look for it? The last place we had it! Therefore, just like the set of lost keys, we should find where we first left that First Love of ours. Maybe it was a moment of anger, unforgiveness, lust, insercurity, pride, etc. That very place we left our First Love for God when we first allow that small sin to enter our lives, go back there. Go back to that very sin and Repent.
Just like in revelations where the Lord is talking to the church of Ephesus, we need to repent. And repentance is not just asking for forgiveness. Repentance requires of us a change of heart towards God and to actively make a decision to turn 180 degrees away from the sin and walk away. Repentance is never easy. But without true repentance, the Lord cannot be present in our lives. God’s presence would leave us just like it left Samson without us even knowing.
Also, don't run away from God because of that sin. Don't let guilt or self-doubt creep into your life and make you believe that you cannot go back to God. The guilt and self-doubt stems from the fact that you know that you have lost something so wonderful as the First Love you had for God that you think we cannot turn back to that First Love again. That is a lie from the devil. Don't ever ever believe in that. Yes, it is true that you do not deserve it but here’s the thing, it is God’s grace that saves us all. And if we would only let Him into our lives, that is when we can see the true power and transformation the grace of God can bring.
The very famous verse in Revelations that is used whenever we explain the love and sacrifice of God to a non-believer is actually (if we read the whole thing in its actual context) about the restoration of the fellowship between the lost follower of Christ and Jesus.
“Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me.”
Revelations 3:20
God is always at the door of our hearts. Knocking. Calling out to us. But here’s the thing. If we are distract by the things that is already set in place in the house of our hearts, we will never be able to hear God’s knocking. we would be distract and miss the the gentle soft voice of God. But if we repent and remove those distractions and hear the knocking and open our hearts to Jesus, He will enter our hearts and restore the fellowship with us (represented by having supper with us as said in Revelations).
This sermon helped me a lot in realising that I had a Harden Heart. That I had allowed sin and wickedness to creep into my heart without myself even knowing. And it has also made me realise that I need to repent for that time when allowed sin to enter my life and that it is only after repentance that I will be able to hear the knocking of the door. And when I answer it, the fellowship and First Love I had once with Jesus, with God, can be restored. Amen.
