the small brain chronicles

the punk with the pretty earrings || a proud latent variable magical microwave

[ded-inside-anonymous]

I hate it when I see someone's followed me and I'm like 'ooo I wonder if I know them!' and then I click the profile and AHH jump scare! Nobody has clothes on! Please, you beautiful people, have a door I can knock on? So that I can knock and you can say you're changing and I can come back later. Obviously this was a bad time. I've caught you off guard. We can talk when you're wearing a comfy sweat set or something

[ded-inside-anonymous]

I just want to make sure it's clear I don't care what you wear or don't wear as long as everyone is consenting. Please wear or don't wear what makes you happy and feel good about yourself (it's probably best to avoid public indecency though). My comment is more about consent and knowing if something is explicit before you see it so you can make an educated choice, and less about how people dress

[ded-inside-anonymous]

I hate it when I see someone's followed me and I'm like 'ooo I wonder if I know them!' and then I click the profile and AHH jump scare! Nobody has clothes on! Please, you beautiful people, have a door I can knock on? So that I can knock and you can say you're changing and I can come back later. Obviously this was a bad time. I've caught you off guard. We can talk when you're wearing a comfy sweat set or something

[ded-inside-anonymous]

One time my friend got me a lovely gift and as soon as I touched it, it broke and I quickly had to hide the fact it broke because I didn't want them to feel bad, because it was a thoughtful gift and they're one of my best friends, but thankfully I'm an artist and crafter so I had plenty of great glue options to fix it and now it's super strong because I used INDUSTRIAL STRENGTH glue and I'm never in my life going to tell them this happened because what does it matter now that it's made with INDUSTRIAL STRENGTH? Anyway just sharing the biggest moment of pure panic I've ever felt

[ded-inside-anonymous]

So I'm really upset, as a woman, from the slander I've recently been seeing online against women. People have been saying really hurtful and blatant lies and I feel the need to come here to correct them. They've been saying that- that women don't naturally have glittery eyelids. I know. It's terrible. The slander is unreal. But we have to get the truth out there. Only *real* women have naturally glittery eyelids. If you see someone and they don't have naturally glittery eyelids, that's not a woman, that's a body snatcher. You have to throw lavender at them so that the body snatchers leave and the women return to their bodies and their naturally glittery eyelids return. Please spread awareness about this 🙏 we have to save the women from the body snatchers!

[starrynet]

that’s his little guy!!

[littleguysdaily]

I wish I had what they have...

[ded-inside-anonymous]

This is beautiful and it's important to me that everyone on my feed sees it <33

[ded-inside-anonymous]

Ok, yeah, sure, the metric system makes more sense than freedom units and yeah, it's ridiculous trying to memorize how many yards are in a mile, BUT I WILL NOT TURN MY BACK ON GALLON MAN! Really that's the reason we keep freedom units. Not because we think it's better than the metric system, but it's because we are attached to Gallon Man and we don't want to betray him. Gallon Man is the real MVP, for real.

[ded-inside-anonymous]

Nobody asked, but it's important to me that my international friends know what Gallon Man looks like, in his many forms.

This is the Gallon Man I grew up with. Not really sure what makes him a man, but he helped me pass math and science sooo...gallon ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

This is a much more 'ah I see how it's human like' or in this case 'robot like' version of Gallon Man. Just remember that Gallon Man is your friend. Sure the government is stupid and makes us use freedom units, BUT Gallon Man has been with us from day one, helping us through <3

[ded-inside-anonymous]

OH MY GOSH WAIT WHO WAS GONNA TELL ME GETTING BONUS MONEY MAKE ME WANT TO DO A BETTER JOB?? Like I always try to make sure things are done well, but sometimes if I'm tired I'm like, ehh it's acceptable. Some rich lady gave me a tip before I'd even done my shift and dude, I'm like 'what do you need? I'll get you anything you want queen!'

[ded-inside-anonymous]

Ok, yeah, sure, the metric system makes more sense than freedom units and yeah, it's ridiculous trying to memorize how many yards are in a mile, BUT I WILL NOT TURN MY BACK ON GALLON MAN! Really that's the reason we keep freedom units. Not because we think it's better than the metric system, but it's because we are attached to Gallon Man and we don't want to betray him. Gallon Man is the real MVP, for real.

[ded-inside-anonymous]

What people think when I'm at work and music starts playing:

[ded-inside-anonymous]

Real thoughts I had at work today:

• remember, CIA agents don't lean on walls

• the world is not ending, you just accidentally tried to take someone's plate who wasn't finished. Be a duck. Or a goldfish.

• you're in customer service, smile

• oh shit, I forgot how to smile normally and now all my smiles probably look horribly fake and uncomfortable

• we are the trash can bodyguards

[ded-inside-anonymous]

More real thoughts I had at work today:

CIA agents don't lean on walls

Ooo that's strong enough to carry 6 baby elephants

Wait wait wait hold the fuck up- how did you get a CAMEL in Pennsylvania???

Ooo walking tacos are so good, I get the hype now

No but seriously, where did the camel come from???

[ded-inside-anonymous]

Ok but like if you listen to anyone talking about gas prices, you very quickly realize they are gamblers. They'd be like 'oh my gosh, gas is $3.88, better fill up the tank!' and then they'll be really upset because a day later it'll be at $3.80 and they'll be all mad at themselves. And other times they'll be like '$4.19?! Gotta fill up to the bare minimum!' and they get back home and it's $4.40 and they're mad they didn't fill up more at the first place they stopped at. Like people are price checking different gas stations to see what the best price is and guess what price is the best and when they guess right they are so hyped and when they guess wrong they're so upset and like... I think that's basically just gambling

[ded-inside-anonymous]

Real thoughts I had at work today:

• remember, CIA agents don't lean on walls

• the world is not ending, you just accidentally tried to take someone's plate who wasn't finished. Be a duck. Or a goldfish.

• you're in customer service, smile

• oh shit, I forgot how to smile normally and now all my smiles probably look horribly fake and uncomfortable

• we are the trash can bodyguards

[ded-inside-anonymous]

If Kirby has taught me anything, it's that you need to kiss your homies. Mouth to mouth kisses save lives 🩷

[ded-inside-anonymous]

Animal Crossing Wild World is so funny because I'll get a letter from my mom (which is one of my favorite things because let me tell you, she's unhinged) and it'll be the best thing I've ever read. Genuinely just got a letter from my mom with a present attached. She asked if I think her fashion sense is dated. Guess what the present was? That's right, a caveman tunic! I can't make this shit up, I love this game so much <33

[ded-inside-anonymous]

Another one of my favorite headcanons is that one of the movies Daniel Hillard (played by Robin Williams in Mrs. Doubtfire) would have been a voice actor for is FernGully. Robin Williams plays Batty Koda in FernGully, and I like to think that this is a movie from the Mrs. Doubtfire universe. At the beginning of Mrs. Doubtfire, Daniel rejects a voice acting job on a particular animated kids' show because his character is smoking, and he doesn't want to promote that to kids. FernGully is a work of anti-deforestation and anti-animal testing (propaganda? education? messaging?) created as a kids' movie. Batty specifically talks about the negatives of animal testing and how human actions harm animals and nature (many of which are obvious, but please remember this is a kids' movie, so it's about introducing these concepts to kids and not about sharing new, unknown information. My own thoughts on the way this was handled could be a whole other post, so I'm not going to dwell on it here). Knowing Daniel's care for setting a good example for children, I feel like him voice acting Batty is very in character for him. Given that both Daniel and Batty are acted/voiced by Robin Williams, I like to think 'Daniel' did the voice acting for Batty and you can 100% watch FernGully in the Mrs. Doubtfire universe.

(I do not own these images; all rights to the original creators. If you want them removed, please just message me!)

[ded-inside-anonymous]

Look, all I'm saying is before you spend forty minutes reading a book, make sure it's the book you think you're reading

[ded-inside-anonymous]

Living in the United States be like pokemon. I gotta collect a shit ton of health concerns before I go to the doctor so I can knock em out with one copay