Dear You:

Included here, deeeearest you, are mostly excerpts from things I've written. They are finished, unfinished, published and unpublished. Make yourself comfortable.

[deeeear-you]

You're looking at a couple cuddle up to each other while they stand waiting for a table at the restaurant you and your ex used to frequent together and you're happy for the couple and their happiness with each other. But you notice that her hand is sort of floating above his pantsline and you're reminded of how nice it was when you had the freedom to place your own hand on your own boyfriend's butt, right where it bulged out from just underneath his belt. In that memory you felt so sorry for everything that went wrong and you felt that you would forgive every minor atrocity if only you had the freedom to place your hand on his butt just like you used to. If only this girl you're looking at now had properly appreciated what she had. If only you had, too.

[deeeear-you]

I had the pleasure of pleasure of conducting a live, extended interview with this wacky gallery owner, art enthusiast and surprisingly good storyteller Daniel Rolnik on The Nth Degree this week. Listen to the recording here and then check out what his gallery has to offer on Instagram @danielrolnik and at danielrolnik.com. His next group show opens Nov. 7 in Santa Monica.

Catch you next Monday from 6-8 p.m. pacific time at sdsradio.org

Full show archive available at soundcloud.com/notterpops

[deeeear-you]

"The first night we hooked up she told me she had never orgasmed from having sex. I licked her pussy for thirty minutes and then tickled her ass hole and she was done for. Shaking. Babbling nonsense. Unable to speak words for half an hour. When she finally could talk, she called all of her friends to tell them the good news, and of course I'm sitting there all proud." "That's amazing. At least she'll never forget you." "Oh yeah, and ill never forget her. She was..." He stops, like he's finally said too much. It only lasts for a moment, though. Soon enough, he is back on another track, following another memory into a dark and mysterious cave. I let him talk because his stories are interesting. They always seem to be one notch crazier than mine. Similar, but different, more grandiose in terms of fucked-up-ness. I listen like I'm building up credit. Like when the time finally comes for me to open up and spill all of my secrets, or when I decide that it's appropriate to share such intimate details with him he'll be as good a listener as I've been, because he owes me that much. But here I'm learning that it doesn't work like that. These people are here for a reason, they're fucked up. The kind of people who will always take more than they give. It's not intentional but it is unfair. But his stories are good and they are usually a welcome escape from the ones happening inside my own brain, so I keep listening and asking questions and he keeps talking.

[deeeear-you]

I woke up in a panic last night, thinking I had forgotten to forward a report onto one of the executives I represent. I was talking to myself, asking where the report could be and trying to conjure up images of my email inbox so I could try to place my quest in time/date/sender context in order to figure out what the hell it was I was remembering I forgot to do. When I got to the office today, I realized that the only thing I forgot to do was put my coffee cup in the sink, so there was five-day-old coffee rotting on my desk as if a cruel metaphor of my brain.

[deeeear-you]

The recording of this week's radio show is filled with poetic lyricism and some really heartfelt stories from the band members of Enter the Blue Sky. We talked songwriting, taking a break from music to have a family and career, picking up an instrument and running with it, the crazy things you can do with a harmonica, and the true or imagined meanings behind songs. 

[deeeear-you]

The Nth Degree all over again. This time with some Riot Grrl action along with dudes from the LBC who hate Saturday nights and Fever Ray twice cuz she coo. Plus lots more to love. Listen live on Mondays from 6-8 p.m. pacific time, or anytime on soundcloud.com/notterpops

[deeeear-you]

The band Northern American came into the SDS studios for an acoustic set before their live show in San Diego. We talked about their current record and new horizons, and their lead singer’s voice sounded incredible. Enjoy!

[deeeear-you]

Live on Mondays from 6-8 p.m. pacific time, or whenever you’re free on Soundcloud. 

[deeeear-you]

Archive copy of my live radio show, The Nth Degree, this time featuring everything from gothic rock to electro pop, jazz and hip hop. Listen live on Mondays from 6-8 p.m. pt on sdsradio.org.

[deeeear-you]

On this episode of The Nth Degree, Natty J showcases new music from known and unknown indie superstars. From FKA Twigs and Portishead to Deradoorian and Land Lines, the mood of this one is mellow - perfect for a late summer evening when you need all of your stresses to fall away with the setting sun. Listen live Mondays 6-8 p.m. pt on sdsradio.org. 

Here's the playlist in order of appearance: Petite Noir – Shadows Ibeyi – River Little Dragon – Feather Portishead – Roads Mystics in Bali – Successful Degredation Ceremony FKA Twigs – Papi Pacify The Roots feat. Angel Deradoorian – A Peace of Light Deradoorian – A Beautiful Woman The Dirty Projectors – Knotty Pine Polica – I See My Mother Yeah Yeah Yeahs – Subway Angels Dust – Funeral Land Lines – Logic Land Lines – Limb from Limb Silican – I Can See Paradise Yo La Tengo – I Can See Paradise Vinyl Williams – Space Age Utopia Mac Demarco – Without Me Tijuana Panthers – Send Down the Bombs Grave Babies – Beautiful Lie Prayers – Friends are Poison Pet Shop Boys – West End Girls Prayers – Love is the Enemy

[deeeear-you]

The Nth Degree is a live, two hour radio show produced in San Diego. But it also lives online here, forever. Each week, host Natty J pulls a playlist together based on her mood. On this episode, she lets the music do most of the talking, with new releases from Vince Staples, Earl Sweatshirt and Nosaj Thing plus old favorites from the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Little Dragon, Miike Snow and so much more.

Listen live on Mondays from 6-8 p.m. pt right here: sdsradio.org.

[deeeear-you]

The latest episode of my radio show, The Nth Degree, featuring San Diego rapper 1019 the Numberman and a special playlist of local music. 

[deeeear-you]

Excerpt from “One Morning in Brooklyn”

A boy with a beard walks by and then a girl with a see-through shirt and then Samantha stops listening to Henry. Then a couple sharing a dog leash stroll down the street and then a girl making plans to meet a friend passes quickly and then Samantha stops thinking about Henry.

[deeeear-you]

Excerpt from “Things to Consider when Quitting Your Job”

Us millennials all seem to get the same quit-your-job disease after approximately one year of professional employment. Extreme cases have been noted in few millennials who make it upwards of five years with the same full-time job. The symptoms seem innocuous at first. There's the isolated dream about renting a car and driving it across the country for a few months. Maybe the dream will start recurring after a few nights of short sleep from working late or doing too much cocaine. Then there's the idol searching on Craigslist for a $1,000 van, just in case. Eventually you're hosting a garage sale and shipping boxes back to your mom's house in Southern California.

[deeeear-you]

Excerpt from “Ten”

“I like you, Ms. Oaks,” he calls from the kitchen, where he's rummaging in the refrigerator for beer. “You're going to break my heart, aren't you?”

“Not on purpose,” Samantha says, skeptical, from across the living room, standing between one-and-a-half drum sets and a wall-sized amplifier.  

Samantha met Jesse two weeks ago. They kissed that first night outside of an old cowboy bar in an industrial part of town. It was raining and they were stoned. Samantha wasn't sure she wanted to be kissing Jesse until she was kissing him and she couldn't stop. He was much more tender than his shoulder length dyed-black hair, baggy pants and slurred speech suggested.

[deeeear-you]

Excerpt from “Planes, Trains and Automobiles,” [working title]

“I finished it,” I said with a smile as I knelt down and held the suitcase in front of where she was splayed out across the concrete.

She looked at the yellow suitcase with the red roses, their delicate green leaves and meandering brown stems for a long moment. Then she blinked as if to reset the clock.

“Looks like you have as bad a need to ruin things as I do.” She sneezed. “Two peas in a fucking pod.”

I'm not exactly sure what I was expecting but it wasn't exactly that. Astoria and I were a lot of things, but similar wasn't one of them. When I showed her the suitcase, it was on my way to the airport. She didn't even notice that it was full, or if she did, she didn't bother to ask why.

She lit a cigarette and I went to pet her dog but immediately thought better of it. Instead, I reached into my wallet, dropped two quarters in her plastic cup then stood and walked away. I only saw her one more time and by then, nothing mattered.

[deeeear-you]

Excerpt from “Amy Winehouse and Documentaries on the Dead”

But she’s an artist so we’re not supposed to feel sorry for her. And Kapadia never really asks us to. He just expertly controls the pace at which her story is told. As Winehouse’s life becomes more frenetic, so too does the movie, and your heart can’t help but pound. You know what’s coming, but you’re never exactly sure when it will arrive. And then one morning her bodyguard finds her dead and the story just ends. ...

Read the rest here.