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i have thoughts sometimes....

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Remnants of the past

I’ve been thinking a lot about how we torture ourselves with past experiences. Like, sometimes you let yourself enjoy your day. Maybe you’re feeling optimistic and even pat yourself on the back for feeling productive, successful, or satisfied. Then, before you can really relish in that moment you choose to destroy it with a lightning flash memory of some time you weren’t any of those things. You…

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Some thoughts on Israel

From an American Jew Hey y’all, I’m back from a 4 year hiatus. I noticed some traffic to this old blog recently, so I thought I’d try and revive things. Usually, I like to be silly, but this time I figured I’d break format and try my hand at sincerity. I’ve carefully chosen a light, non-controversial topic (lol). Let’s talk about Israel, shall we? First, some background for you fine people. I…

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Two Deliveroo Day

Hey good lookin! I’ve been thinking about you. Not like a creepy amount. Not like, “I’m just sitting here thinking about your quads, and what powerful quads you have” kind of thinking. It’s more of a “I’ve been a bad internet friend and I’ve been awful about keeping in touch as of late because I’m doing too much life and I’m struggling to find space to play. You and your powerful quads deserve…

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When did everyone turn on Florida? Asking for a friend

When did everyone turn on Florida? Asking for a friend

Hey there, good lookin. I’ve been spending the last few months rearing my little ginger delight, and that baby does notlike to share. I thought I’d spend my maternity leave snuggling/feeding/changing/playing with my newborn, but I also thought I’d have enough time to get bored and to parlay that boredom into creativity. I thought I’d be writing during the supposed “downtime,” but this ginger…

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The bastardization of baked goods

The bastardization of baked goods

There’s a sentiment I’ve been casually verbalizing for years. I always took note of the company I was in before voicing it, since I know the topic draws mixed opinions. I could accidentally tap into someone’s ideology and find myself on the receiving end of a moral justification, and, like, I’m really not into that. So I kept the thought to myself, for the most part. Something changed today,…

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Music during pregnancy?

What are the possible long term impacts of having my in utero child listen to 90s hip hop? 

Hey there, good lookin. Now I realize that this stream-of-consciousness-style blog is not exactly a self help column. It’s more of the kind of blog where I ponder the consequences of eating a caterpillar and spend time trying to decipher whether or not a food spiralizer is making sexual advances at me. Like, it’s not devoid of life advice, but it’s probs not the best resource for solving life…

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Hot Sauce

I’d like to put something to rest, y’all. I’ve noticed a certain misappropriation of resources, and it’s downright wasteful. Ordinarily I’m all “you do you” for any sort of non- food or environmental waste, because who am I to be like, “Stop buying shoes – you already have enough to arm a well-heeled army.” That would not only make me a hypocrite, but I’m also not looking to deprive you of your…

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Plastic utensils

Plastic cutlery is downright dehumanizing

There’s a drum I’ve been beating for years. Unfortunately, I’ve made the mistake of beating it in private. I know – I should have been pummelling out in the open. I could have helped others in doing so, since I’m sure I’m not alone here.

Not to mention, I’m certain my discretion had the unintended effect of being detrimental to others, but this isn’t just about how many multi-syllabic words I can…

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Hurricanes - a Florida thing

Hurricanes are Florida's thing, and we'd prefer not to share

Good morning, good lookin! I have a controversial thought, so thanks in advance for giving me a pass. I’m grateful to have the freedom to express this thought without having an avalanche of judgemental shame dumped on top of me and whatnot. You’re too kind.

This year’s barrage of hurricanes has been borderline apocalyptic. Wait for it – that’s not the controversial thought. As you know, another…

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Baklava on the brain

Baklava on the brain

I don’t want anyone to panic, but I don’t have much time.This is not a drill. Ordinarily I’d meander my way into this blog post by acknowledging my two month absence. I’d liken myself to a deadbeat dad going out for a pack of smokes and skipping town, never to see his wife of children again, but I’m going to skip right over that today, as hilarious as it would have been.

I’ve been gifted a veryla…

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Happy birthday, America!  Love ya, bitch

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Acorn attack

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but I just got beaned in the nose with an acorn! I’m unusually distraught. This sort of nasal targeting has dredged up a lot of insecurities that I believed I’d buried, y’all. Well, they’ve broken through the surface. They have risen.

Picture it – I was heading back from the gym (hold your applause) after a morning workout in which I performed and advanced TRX…

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Foods I ate and loved - Cacio e pepe edition

Foods I ate and loved – Cacio e pepe edition

I just saw something on my Instagram feed that triggered a brand of fury that makes Larry David look like a reasonable, well-coiffed, beacon of tolerance. A reputable food brand (name protected for fear of further ridicule) had the audacity to call a pesto pasta cacio e pepe. I know. I nearly smashed my own iPhone screen out of pure contempt, y’all. I couldn’t understand how this misstep got past…

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Kicking the posh gym habit

Kicking the posh gym habit

Good morning, good lookin! I had one of those mornings when I woke up like “nope,” but I dragged myself to the gym anyways. I figured I’d sleepwalk through a workout, but within half an hour I busted out some jump lunges on the TRX! I rose high above my lackluster mood, so I had to share. I feel like 50 shades of slay, if you will.

they’re all talking about protein shakes down there

It’s moments…

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Breakfast in Australia

I went down under a few weeks back, and I emerged enlightened. Australia just does not get enough credit in this world. We remember the Crocodile Hunter fondly and mourn his unjust demise, and we think Natalie Imbruglia defined the term “one hit wonder” and she should totally own that, but our collective curiosity seems to end there.

Poached egg with sauteed mushrooms, raw kale, raddicchio, and…

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5 reasons traveling sucks

5 reasons traveling sucks

Ever since my self-proclaimed “year of the vacay,” I’ve been obsessed with travel. I got bitten by that travel bug, y’all, and she left a big, oozing lesion of wanderlust on my soul. I know; I should’ve been a poet. My passport was nearly nude back in 2012, but I jumped at the opportunity to move abroad to London with work. Since then, it’s been a race against time as I’ve tried to crash as many…

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Resting clown face (RCF)

Resting clown face (RCF)

Good morning, MyWordVom.com! It’s been a pretty little spell since I’ve drowned you all in a stream of consciousness-style rant, but I thought you may be hankering for one. So I’m giving it to you, because I’m nothing if not a generous lass. I’m a giver. You could be all, “I lost my love handles!” and I’d be like, “Take mine; I insist,” because that’s who I am. A giver.

Anyways, I got to thinking…

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