Hola Amigo;

FRAGILE ~ Handle with care✨ Spider-Man Syndrome 🕷️ Just Dumping me, myself & my thoughts here // My Happy place <3

[deep-njr]

Some people are sent to cross our path for a reason. They wake up the parts of us we never knew existed, and quietly become a piece of us. Even if the magic isn't forever, hold it close. Love it like it's the last day, so that when they're gone, all you're left with are memories worth keeping.

[deep-njr]

"The most we want is what the most we can't have, and what the most we can't have is what we already had and lost."

~ Odysseus, The Odyssey 🎬

[deep-njr]

Sad birds still fly✨

[deep-njr]

Sometimes, solace can be found in a book, a song, a movie, a poem, or even a quiet cup of tea. Seek solace wherever it quietly exists. Survival itself is the purest form of solace✨

[deep-njr]

Art is to console those who are broken by life✨

~ Van Gogh 🖌️

[deep-njr]

A DREAMY SUNFLOWER NIGHT 🌻✨

I ordered chocolates from my crush just to find a reason, any reason to meet her. She already knew how I felt, yet she agreed. That alone meant more to me than I could explain.

She was working in another state, and she told me she would bring the chocolates herself the coming weekend when she returned home. That week felt endless. Each day stretched like a year, heavy with anticipation. I struggled to get through even the simplest routines, my mind constantly drifting back to the thought of seeing her.

I wanted to give her something in return. Not something expensive, not something easily bought. I knew she didn’t expect anything from me, but that made it matter even more. So I decided to bake chocolate cookies. From buying ingredients to cleaning the vessels afterward, I did everything myself. It felt honest and personal. Sometimes money couldn’t replace peoples effort. I packed them carefully, as if I were packing a piece of my heart.

Finally, the day arrived. Plans changed, conversations stretched, and expectations shifted. I had imagined meeting her alone with lot of plans in my head, maybe with a friend at least expected. But she chose to come with her brother. I tried, gently, to convince her otherwise, but she stood her ground. And strangely, that made me admire her even more. That was who she was. And I liked her all the more for it.

I waited for her call the entire day. By evening, she finally said she was on her way with her brother.

I got ready, nervous and excited in equal measure, like someone about to meet a long-distance love for the first time. I asked her to come to my workplace, and she agreed.

On the way, I decided to get her a sunflower. I searched everywhere that night until I found a small roadside flower shop just about to close. I rushed in and bought one the last sunflower they had it seems.

I Know that flowers die anyway , but also humans die too, but we still invest in ourself. It was never about flower, its about the happiness that brings to them at that moment.

Back at my workplace, I sat in my room, waiting. Time moved painfully slow. More than two hours passed, each minute stretching longer than the last. Honestly never waited for someone like this before.

Then, suddenly, she was there.

She walked in with a quiet presence, holding a paper bag of chocolates. For a moment, everything else faded. For a moment, my mind went still, no thoughts, no noise, just her eyes, holding me there without efforts. It felt almost unreal. Such a divine moment in my life.

Then she sat and I gave her the cookies and said, a little awkwardly, that “I didn’t know how you would take it, but I had made them just for you. Will it be okay for you to take them home.” She smiled and said that there’s nothing wrong in it, she’d manage.

We sat and talked, to be honest she talked, and I listened. She told me about her life, her family, her world. She showed me each chocolate, explaining them one by one, asking me to taste and give my opinion. I barely spoke, but I didn’t need to. Just being there, listening to her, felt like happiness in its purest form.

Then I asked her to have coffee. We had coffee together. Those 30–45 minutes felt like a lifetime I wished I could pause. In my mind, I kept hoping time would slow down just a little more.

But reality ignore. Her brother was waiting outside.

Before she left, I knew I had to give her the sunflower. I had hidden it in my desk, unsure how she would react. With hesitation and a racing heart, I finally took it out and handed it to her and said ,

“I don’t know how you’ll react,” I said softly. “I was actually scared to give this… but I wanted to.”

She looked surprised and asked “Why did you do this?”

“I just wanted to,” I replied.

She smiled, a little shy, a little unsure and said “I love it… but I can’t take it home. There’ll be too many questions. But still it’s really cute. I love sunflowers.”

Then she said something that stayed with me: “I don’t think I would’ve loved it this much if it were any other flower.”

I asked her if she knew about the sunflower theory. She shook her head and said no.

I Said “During the day, sunflowers face the sun. But at night, they turn toward each other… as if they become each other’s light.”

She didn’t say anything for a moment. Then she took a selfie with the sunflower and handed it back to me.

“Keep this,” she said. “Consider it like I gave it to you. I wanted to take it home… but I can’t. So you keep it for me.”

It was late. She said she had to go , her brother was waiting.

And just like that, I was reminded: Every beautiful moment has an ending.

I thought about asking for a hug. The thought crossed my mind again and again, but nervousness held me back. I said nothing.

We walked outside together. She introduced me to her brother. I greeted him casually, he seemed quiet, reserved.

Then she said goodbye.

And just like that, she left taking something from me I couldn’t quite name it, but deeply felt.

I never thought that would be the last time I would see her in person.

[deep-njr]

Intimacy of not speaking again yet have them in your mind every minute. Intimacy of never speaking again and yet waiting if ever they will come back with what you have been yearning for. Intimacy of never speaking yet wishing they have all their wishes fulfilled, they are loved and taken care of, even if not by you but someone.

Intimacy of never speaking but just sitting blank with all the beautiful memories you had with them. There is indeed a lot of intimacy in never speaking again.✨

[deep-njr]

We never dated but I still can't get over you. It hurts me every time I realise ,You never felt something for me. You did not notice how you made me so nervous. How I brought the most stupid topics just to continue our conversation. How my eyes couldn't find anyone else to look at when you were near.

How I began to avoid talking to you Because I realised I might catch feelings for you. Strange how I never felt like it was all only from my side. But then you acted like nothing happened, like I was someone you met randomly. And we’ll probably never see each other again.

We never dated but I still can’t get over you.

[deep-njr]

I’m still a gallery of trying , and I will always choose being a gallery of trying. From the day I started choosing the life and the things I truly wanted, I have failed many times, but every single time I failed, I woke up the next day and tried again. Failing and trying again has slowly become my life cycle. I keep trying to do the things I love and sometimes even the things I don't. I have tried to understand what people like and also what I genuinely like, and through all these attempts, I have become someone who simply keeps trying. If I fail today, at least I know I showed up and gave it a chance. I don’t want to be a museum of failure. I want to be a gallery of trying. I don’t want perfection; I just want to remain someone who keeps trying. I’m person who tries every single day, and that is who I am ✨

[deep-njr]

Peter Parker - The Heart Beneath the Mask🕷️

Not the strength. Not the powers. Not even the suit. What makes Peter Parker unforgettable is his heart - the quiet, constant choice to care when it hurts the most.

He saves strangers while losing the people he loves. He keeps going, even when the world gives him every reason to stop. Every swing through the city carries guilt, responsibility, and a hope that refuses to die.

Because being Spider-Man was never about being the strongest - it was about being the one who still show up, no matter how broken he feels.

[deep-njr]

And you were the right person at the wrong time!

Genuinely falling in love with someone seemed to be happen only on the first of never; but with you it was different. Because you wasn't just any other girl, you are you. As people says that; These are just feelings, they'll go away. But it never did.

It's not just a physical attraction to fade away.And I just want to be the person who admire you, who can give you everything wonderful this world has to offer.

#clueless #aesthetic #fragments of my mind #cloud thoughts #never inside #3am thoughts #she

[deep-njr]

Marking 4 years of dumping myself on Tumblr✨

[deep-njr]

"I need all the time I have and a thousand times more than all the time I have and most of all I'd like to have all the time there is just for you, for thinking about you, for breathing in you."

- Franz Kafka, Letters to Milena📖

[deep-njr]

Maybe the real courage isn’t in forgetting, but in facing the memories until they lose their power. The growth comes from learning to live with what once broke us.

[deep-njr]

I find peace in the quiet corners of life. I don’t need to be seen to feel fulfilled — there’s comfort in knowing I don’t have to be the most important person in the room.

[deep-njr]

Most of the time, it feels like there’s a constant war going on inside me.

My mind is the practical one. It tells me to let certain things go because it knows they probably won’t work out. It wants to protect me from disappointment.

But my heart, It’s stubborn. It holds on tight, even when it knows it might get hurt. It clings to the tiniest bit of hope, no matter how unrealistic.

And then there’s me stuck right in the middle of this tug-of-war, fully aware of what’s happening, but not sure which side to follow. Honestly, some days it feels like a personal battlefield…a little bit of hell inside my own head.

[deep-njr]

It’s been months since I last wrote anything here, but something small and meaningful happened that made me want to share.

Today, I got a birthday wish—right at 12 AM. Except… it’s not my birthday today. I’ve always preferred to stay unnoticed on my birthday. I never share the date, even if someone asks. But this wish felt different.

The person who sent it had gone out of their way to figure out when my birthday might be. They tried, assumed, and guessed—just to make sure I felt remembered. I told them it wasn’t today, and I thanked them sincerely. Because the effort meant more than the timing ever could.

Moments like this remind me that life is beautiful. That people—some people—are kind in quiet, meaningful ways. It’s these soft gestures that pull me back into appreciation for the world and the people around me.

There’s nothing particularly significant going on in my life. I’m just… here. Still alive. Still doing the things I love and also hate to. Still surrounded by a few souls who genuinely see me, and value my presence.

And maybe that’s significant enough to write about.