this is a shitpost but I think it's not THAT wrong. Most kink is either one of (or a combination of):
You get to play at having power over someone else. This is your dominance sorts of things, your sadisms, etc.
You get to play safely. You can play with scary things while knowing there's safewords and a dom/top who loves you.
Feet. By which I mean, there's some normal part of the human experience that your brain has for some reason fixated on. Maybe you're into red hair, or glasses, or fluffy tails.
"safety" can also present as "useful". You have some intrinsic value that cannot be taken from you (because of some sex/kink thing). The safety is from abandonment, because you're useful, despite everything. And "useful" is a bunch of kinks (none of which I'm comfortable mentioning here).
the two types of tumblr post are calvin's dad and rule 34. all posts fall into one of these two categories. despite being kink-related, this post is actually calvin's dad.
Okay, why do i have no problem saying "tickle"/ "ticklish"/ other variations of the word if I'm in a ler mood but I can't say it out loud in a lee way. like. I can't say to another person (at least not in person/ verbally – I can type it) that i'm ticklish, or what they're doing tickles, or for them to please not tickle me, I get all flustered and all I can get out is "ah! i'm sensitive there" or "wait don't get me i wasn't ready!" 🫠
I do think it's fun to tease a ler by just leaving spots vulnerable (stretching with my arms up so my shirt lifts to show a bit of my tummy or putting my feet in their lap or whatever) or tickling them until they flip the script and get revenge but I also know as a ler that it can be a little brain-breaking for a lee to just come out and ask to be tickled or admit it feels good but 🫣 the words literally get caught in my throat, I can't
A/N- It's been a while since I've written anything or played BG3, so I wanted to write something for ler!Karlach and lee!Tav. The tav (male- uses he/him) is a durge ranger I made in game who has embraced the urge so far but could be redeemable depending on how his story goes and/or who he romances. I also have it in my head where he's the best friend of my durge cleric of Illmater named Phoebe. Anyways, I had fun writing it and I hope whomever reads it likes it too :D.
Fandom- BG3
Pairing- Karlach x Durge Tav (male- uses he/him pronouns in the story). Their relationship is platonic but Karlach does tease him quite a bit. Spoilers for Act 2 included.
WC- ~2,660.
Karlach's able to touch again and the one of the first things she asks for is a cuddle. Tav isn't going to turn down the free heat in the Shadow-Cursed Lands, but he also doesn't anticipate her tickling him.
"How does this feel?"
"Fine. Now stop moving."
"Right, sorry."
…..
"It's been so long since I've done this," Karlach breathed a hushed giggle into Tav's ear. "I almost forget how."
"It's actually quite simple if you'd stop moving and shut up."
There was no true venom in Tav's words as he pressed his back into the tiefling's chest. He was used to the cold and dark. Spending his youth Underdark lended itself to that. But the cold brought on by the Shadow Curse was unnatural. Seizing. It was the kind of cold that seeped into the bones and weighed someone down as if with lead. Tav didn't get cold; but under the Shadow Curse, he was cold. He never thought he'd see the day where he'd be grateful for the appropriately named Last Light Inn.
That was until he realized that they did not have enough beds for everyone to get their own.
If it wasn't for Isobel's shield over the inn, he would've slaughtered everyone that he could get his hands on, including her. He's killed people for less. And honestly? The thought of it made the dark voices in his head purr with delight. Maybe if he coated himself in the Harpers' and tieflings' hot blood, he wouldn't be so cold.
The gentle hum of Karlach's cooled down engine brought him out of his happy, murderous thoughts. He exhaled through his nose. Fine, he grumbled to himself. He'd keep his hands off his scimitar and settle for the free heat he was getting from his companion. There was a tiny part of him that liked to see her happy, gods know why, and he didn't want to cut the moment short. It fascinated him that after spending ten years fighting in the Hells and finally being granted the ability to touch again, the first thing this tank of a woman wants is a cuddle.
"Don't be like that," Karlach huffed again. She moved herself closer when he backed into her. Tav bit back a content sigh when the heat hit his back. "You said it was alright to share the bed. Having second thoughts, soldier?"
Tav clicked his tongue. "No," he muttered. He took a breath before continuing, as her warmth comfortably rolled up his back. "But I would like to sleep."
"I know. I'm just so happy," Karlach's breath hitched as tears pricked her eyes. Gods above, Tav thought. Don't let her start crying. "Ten years is a long time to go without being able to touch someone. I never thought I'd be able to again. And now that I can? I'm buzzing. Things are finally starting to look up for me."
Tav pursed his lips. Dammon told them that her engine fix was temporary. That eventually, it'd burn out and take her with it if she didn't go back to Avernus. So what was one moment of happiness if it didn't last? Either Karlach would go back to the very hell she fought to escape from, or die. None of this mattered.
These words replayed in his mind, waiting for the opportunity to be free, but that moment didn't come. He swallowed them down and instead said, "…Glad you got what you wanted."
Ugh. That felt weird. Maybe the tadpole was starting to affect him.
"Heh, I'm just getting started," Karlach grinned. "The world's probably not ready for unleashed Karlach but it's getting it anyway. Shadowheart said she'd braid my hair next time we're at camp, and Wyll and I are going to wrestle at some point. He actually thinks he's got a leg up on me, and-"
Tav's eyes drooped closed while Karlach spoke. He was too tired to tell her to shut up again, and the likelihood of her actually doing it was slim to none anyway. He breathed heavier, lulled by the heat and the oddly soft pillow that cradled his face. Her voice faded into the background. He was just drifting off to sleep when—
"…Hey soldier?"
Gods dammit.
Tav groaned and begrudgingly opened his eyes. "What?"
He felt her shift behind him. The heat radiating off her got a little bit hotter.
"Could I hold you?"
Tav's brows furrowed. He propped himself up on one elbow and ungracefully turned to face her. "Are you serious?"
If this was a joke, she was gonna be the first person he killed, whether he had his scimitar or not. Surprisingly, there was some nervousness mixed in with her genuine smile.
"Yeah," she nodded. "I'll be honest, Tav. I love hugs. And cuddling. You probably wouldn't guess it by looking at me, but you'd never find someone desperate for a cuddle more than me. Pathetic, I know. But the engine wants what it wants."
Tav stared at her without a word. He was still waiting for her to say that she was joking so that he could wrap his hands around her throat. The dark urge was yearning for that. Karlach continued, smiling a bit wider.
"We're already close together anyway," she gestured to the small, almost nonexistent sliver of space between them. "And if I make you uncomfortable at all, I'll roll onto the floor and sleep there instead. So…can I?"
The tips of Karlach's flames turning blue told him that no, she wasn't joking. Far from it actually.
Now it was his turn to falter.
Sharing a bed was already something that typically wasn't in the cards for him. This wasn't from a lack of candidates; similar to Astarion, Tav had a high opinion of himself and could bed just about anyone. Karlach wasn't asking to get into his pants though. What she was asking for was innocent and sweet. And that is was gave him pause.
He felt the unfamiliar sensation of his pulse quickening. A butterfly in his stomach. He continued to stare, to remain silent, still looking for any indication that maybe she was in fact joking.
Nothing. Nothing but that same eager, almost puppy-like expression and hopeful smile.
Finally, Tav gave a slow nod. He was still feeling a bit cold anyways. Why not take advantage of the additional warmth?
"Alright," he agreed in a low whisper. He turned his back to her again and laid his head back down on the pillow. "Though try not to get too excited."
Karlach laughed at that. "Ooo, listen to you. 'I'm a dark and scary ranger who thinks a woman's brain will turn to mush the moment he gets a little close'." She even dropped her voice so that it was a lower baritone like Tav's. Then, she wrapped her big arms around him, holding onto him like a teddy bear. "Well too bad. I may enjoy a cuddle, but I am not—"
"Brain?"
Tav interrupted and peeked back at Karlach with a questioning expression. The tiefling mirrored that look. Tav smirked, "Ah, I forgot you had one of those."
Karlach laughed again, this time louder, while she absently prodded into Tav's side. "Fuck you."
Tav was already chuckling but the prodding had him flinching away, snickering louder. She paused, he paused, and the new discovery hung in the air. Then she grinned.
"Don't tell me you're ticklish, soldier."
She was still holding onto him, still facing his back, and her claws experimentally walked along his torso. Tav squirmed and grabbed at her large hands. All of a sudden, he wasn't feeling so tired. Before his companions, he wouldn't have had a clue what tickling was. It wasn't a violent act and didn't enter the equation when he took people's lives. As for who tickled who first, he couldn't remember. All he remembered was that he viewed it as an accessible weakness. Tav didn't have any of those. Or so he thought.
What a difference a tenday made.
"I'm noh-hot—," he lied. As much as he wrestled with her hands, her gentle scritching ended up on his lowermost ribs, where he jolted and chuckled louder. He tried to stifle his chuckling through sheer willpower, pursed lips, and gritted teeth. None of those helped him."Cut that ohout, Karlach!"
"But you said we could cuddle," she argued. He was strong, Karlach had to admit it, but him being tired was currently working in her favor. His movements were unpolished and sloppy and were much easier to counter. As carefully as she could, she pulled him flush against her body and draped one of her legs over his, pinning him. "Don't go, Tav. I just wanna cuddle!"
"Thihis isn't cuddling—" The butterflies in his stomach hit him like a carriage as he covered his mouth with one of his hands. His other hand fruitlessly tugged at her wrist. The realization of oh shit, this tickles fell on top of him and he didn't really know how to handle it. The chuckles were coming faster than he could stop them, so he settled for stifling them. He growled in between chuckles, "I-I'm gonna k-kihihill youhu—"
Karlach giggled. "Promises, promises . How do you expect me to be afraid when our grumpy leader's got these ticklish ribs?" She accentuated her teasing by giving a good squeeze to the side of his rib cage. Tav spluttered and writhed against her. "Makes me wonder if you've got any other tickle spots.."
Instead of answering her, Tav focused what little energy he still had into battling with her hands. He was gaining some ground and Karlach was quick to scribble her claws across his stomach. Tav bucked in her hold and bit his lip to trap the incoming laugh. Karlach brightened and gently drilled her thumbs into the sides of his stomach. This spot was much easier to get to with his thin camp shirt.
"Oh?" Karlach hummed, grinning. "Looks like I've got something…~"
Tav curled in on himself, as much as he could while pinned against her, and shook with the effort of keeping his laughter from breaking free. Half of his smile was buried in his pillow. Any threats he planned on making were also trapped. Karlach's tail thumped behind her as she worked through his defenses with every ticklish prod.
"Taaav," she crooned. "Are you sure that this doesn't tickle?"
Tav shook his head like the stubborn ranger he was. He turned his head so it was completely hidden in the pillow. He was still shaking with restrained laughter, and she was still tickling, poking at especially sensitive spots near his navel. She snickered.
"You're a tough one to crack, huh?" Karlach made him jump by squeezing his sides only to return to his stomach. "That's our Tav. The strong and silent type. Our very own lone wolf. If you weren't so grouchy, I may have had the hots for you. There's definitely something about you."
The dam was about to break. Tav's legs drummed against the bed. He seized her hands yet again, having an arguably good grip on them, but she wasn't letting go. A wobbly grin etched its way across his face. The quiet, but steadier laughter was easier to come by, though muffled by the pillow. Karlach teased him by swiping from his stomach, sides, and lower ribs like an enthusiastic kitten.
"Heh, you're definitely got some muscle to you, that's for sure," She continued yapping, her tickles finding their way to skin thanks to all of his squirming. "That's hot—"
Tav couldn't take it anymore. His head snapped up from the pillow, and what was supposed to be a growl was a series of choked laughter.
"Would youhuhu shuhut up!"
There was no reeling the laughter back in now. It wasn't a loud and chaotic sound. Instead, it was quieter and deeper, but still just as frantic. It fit him, Karlach noted, and there was something adorable in that.
"Nope, not a chance," she returned. She tickled him in earnest now, poking into those spots around the navel again that got him writhing. "You think you're so tough, huh? What's so funny? I thought you weren't ticklish."
"Sh-Shuht—" He tried to repeat himself but couldn't, bucking as one claw circled and scritched around his navel. He curled in on himself even more, but that somehow made it worse. 'OAhahaaha! Youhuhu're dehehead!"
"Nuh-uh! I've got a new lease on life," she teased. She nuzzled her head into the crook of his neck from behind, switching from quick scratching to kneading and pinching into random spots along his tummy. "Plenty of time to tickle my friends."
"Grrr-gohohonna cut that shohohohrt!" Tav's laughter picked up as he gripped her hands tighter. The ticklish sensations were settling into him and as much as he bucked in her hold, she wasn't letting go. There was another unfamiliar sensation of his cheeks flushing.
"Ooo I'm sooo scared," Karlach pretended to be terrified as she wrestled him onto his back with a decent amount of effort. Now he was pinned between her and the mattress. Her frame alone was enough to keep his arms and legs down. Tav grunted, and the playful grin still donning her face made the metaphorical butterflies in his stomach go wild. "Gonna get you now, soldier."
Tav took the opportunity to catch his breath during the lull, chest rising and falling with each breathe he took. "Karlach," he began, still trying to reign his chuckles in. "Let me up, and I promise not to—"
"Say you're ticklish then," she grinned. She held her hands just above his torso and wiggled her fingers. "Say it and I'll let you up."
Tav's cheeks flushed some more. "Why would I admit to something that you can clearly seeeehehehehe!" He jolted when she suddenly reached underneath his arms and buried wiggling fingers into his armpits. He brought his arms down over her hands and drowned in giggles that he'd surely deny later. Karlach cooed above him.
"Wrong answer, soldier," she snickered. "Say ittt~."
She pulled her hands free and kneaded her knuckles down his rib cage. She lingered in between the bones as his giggling deepened.
"Kahahaharlach!" Tav twisted his torso from one side to the other, belting out a louder laugh whenever she pinched a rib or dug in just a little more. He heard her giggle right before she honed back in on his stomach. She didn't tickle right away, just poking at the now exposed skin and marveling in the fact that she wasn't burning him. Tav spluttered again, his giggling jumping to short bursts of frantic laughter. "D-Dohohohn't you dahahahare!"
"I dare," she smiled. "But I'll give you five seconds to change your mind. Five,"
She pinched one side of his tummy, snorting when he squirmed in the opposite direction. The smile on his face was wide enough to metaphorically split his face in half.
"Leheheht mehehe uhuhp!"
"Four," She brought both of her thumbs down and kneaded both sides of his stomach. The bed creaked as he began bucking, laughing harder.
"KAhahhahaha!"
"Three. Better hurry Tav," She was smiling almost as much as he was while she kept up the ticklish onslaught. "You're running out of time."
In truth, Karlach wasn't really good at waiting. Or count downs. So she definitely got ahead of herself when she started raking her claws up and down his stomach in a steady rhythm, only letting up when she blew raspberries just above his navel. Tav's deep cackling threatened to wake up any of their sleeping neighbors.
……
By the time Karlach stopped tickling him, he was exhausted. He was tangled back up in her arms while coming down from his laughter. Karlach nestled her head back onto his shoulder, and the ranger mumbled sleepily.
"Prick," he again said without any true venom. Karlach snickered.
"Takes one to know one, soldier," she returned, finally yawning. She paused for a moment before adding, "You don't hate me though, right?"
Tav shook his head. He chalked it up to his sleepiness but, for the moment, his urge was quiet. He guessed he could tolerate her cuddles and let her live to see another day.
Tickling someone's genitals suuuper gently with my nails
"If i see you getting turned on, we're switching to a feather. I hope that's enough stimulation for you, because that's the only way you'll be getting off if I have to swap."
Oh! I guess we're switching quicker than I thought 🤭
I’m not advanced enough as a pervert to wanna straight up fuck a tree but I would gladly offer up my body to be tickled and played with by a tree if it so desired
Fey are absolutely ler coded to me if not switch coded. Like silly humans making funny noises and begging and squirming about?? Peak entertainment. They’d be thrilled to play with any ticklish human regardless I think but add in the factor of said human being turned on by it??? Impossible to resist.
Coven of fairies who decide to keep me as their toy because they love finding new ways to exploit my ticklish body in as many vulnerable positions as possible in their pretty vines. Watching me desperately thrash and beg for release incoherently <3
Archfey who keeps tabs on her cute little warlock solely to watch them squirm when she sends invisible phantom tickles to her at the most inopportune times.
Do you guys think if a giant tentacled eldritch being grabbed you, that it would tickle every time the little suckers on its arms popped off your skin as it readjusted it's grip?
Buckle up all you knismos, knight freaks, and pixie lovers, this is going to be a long one!
🚫 Minors & ageless DNI/ DNF ; 18+ only 🚫
A Warder's Weakness
It's been three nights. Three nights lying awake in his bed chambers, shamefully, painfully hard, replaying the memory in his head: six pixies in kaleidoscopic hues creeping around under his clothes, ticklishly fluttering their wings against his ribs, or under his arms. Scratching his belly with tiny fingers. Teasing over a nipple.
A groan escapes his lips.
Focus back to the present, he realizes he's trailed a hand up his chest under his bedshirt to worry that same nipple between two fingers. He palms himself through his smallclothes, gasping at the friction and arching slightly off the bed. Cheeks flushed, he releases his nipple, instead ghosting calloused fingertips through the dusting of hair on his chest and belly. It nearly tickles.
His cock twitches with interest at the memory.
He scrubs his hands over his face and sighs, "I need a cold plunge"
The pond refreshing. After a few quiet moments, and once he feels his erection ebb away, he wades out of the water toward his clothes, folded neatly on a nearby stump. These summer nights have been warmer than ever — he's nearly dry (save for his hair, dripping from the ends) before he reaches that stump, and a fresh sheen of sweat is already glazing his skin.
In the calmness of the evening, he indulges in a luxurious stretch, pleasantly bare to the sweet-smelling summer breeze. No one knows of this quiet refuge of his, he won't be interrupted here.
Deeper in the woods, something seems to laugh.
The knight's stomach flips as he recognizes that bell-like sound, whether from anxiety or an eager thrill of anticipation, he's not so sure.
Along the tree line, bobbing near the honeysuckle, he can just make out 6 sparkling prismatic shapes, quickly coming into focus as they zip in his direction. Pixies.
They're nearly upon him when he remembers his nakedness. They giggle again as he reaches to cover himself with a hand, the impish creatures hovering between him and the stump, his clothing just out of reach.
He would swear later, if you could convince him to tell the tale, that one of the pixies flitted up to float in front of his face and winked at him just before he felt it. The persistent tingling of tiny faerie fingers meeting sweat-slick skin.
He flinches, already beginning to giggle at the sensation. Between the predicament of his nakedness, the solitude of this place offering him protection from being discovered, and the smooth slide of deft fingers against his skin provided by the layer of perspiration coating him, his resolve is quick to crumble. They seem to have learned from the last time where he happens to be most ticklish, — he snorts as one dives to buzz her wings under his arm — though curiosity also has them experimenting, drawing out more giggles as they scratch around his knees and the backs of his thighs.
Tinkling laughter reaches his ears again as a surprisingly solid pinch to his rear has him twisting around. Too quickly.
In his effort not to fall on his face (instead managing to ungracefully scramble into a seated position at the base of the stump, back pressed against the rough bark), he seems to have failed to maintain his modesty - notably his hands have abandoned their post as make-shift codpiece.
He's hard. Again. And they've most certainly noticed.
"Can we..." he clears his throat, "maybe talk about this?". He's quite sure, however, that they can't understand him.
In an instant they're upon him. Two tickling at his ribs or pinching at his nipples, one taking advantage of his seated position to rake tiny fingers along the sole of one foot, a fourth reaching to scratch between two toes and earning a bark of laughter.
Another still has taken to fluttering her wings between his thighs, which (embarrassingly) fall open at the contact. The knight gasps at a curious hand sliding up the underside of his cock, which he's opted not to protect in favor of hiding his flushed face. The pixies are so small that this one has collected a veritable handful of the precum already beginning to leak from his blushing tip. She smears it across the heated skin of his shaft before smirking to herself and spidering delicate fingers just under his cock head.
He keens, then dissolves into desperate laughter, his senses overwhelmed by the tickling, which seems to be everywhere. He rolls his hips slightly, thrusting into the open air in search of more friction. Or an escape from the insistent tickling fingers and wings. Or some combination of the two.
Things get more and less bearable all at once as the pixies seem to have determined together to adjust their plans. The two who are busy tickling his toes seem to redouble their efforts, following his feet on quick wings as he kicks out. On the other hand, his abdomen is getting a bit less attention.
He risks a peek between his fingers and discovers the reason. Two grinning pixies are still petting over his nipples (just slightly ticklishly for the moment) but another has joined the one between his legs, both smirking up at him as if watching for him to understand.
The new bead of precum and the twitch of his cock makes it impossible to deny his arousal. He turns his gaze toward the treeline, in the direction of the palace; seeing those satisfied grins only makes the embarrassment worse. Dimly, he notices a patch of deep violet... something... among the brambles, and only just has time to wonder at what it might be before he's sent laughing again.
In turns, wings and fingers dance over his nipples and out and toward his ribs or underarms as far as the pixies can reach, then back again, not allowing him to grow accustomed to the sensation. Their touch is incredibly light, but maddeningly ticklish. His laughter is bubbling sweetly from his throat, interrupted by an occasional yelp or cackle spurred on by clever fingers relentlessly scratching under and between his toes, or across the ball or arch of a foot.
Also interspersed among the knight's giggling are moans and (he is loath to admit) whines at the attention being paid between his legs. Tiny fingers tracing up the sides of his cock, over the head and dragging through the precum beading at the tip, then down again under the head to trace a vein on the underside, then beginning their journey anew. It's gentle enough to be just slightly ticklish, and a bit too gentle to provide the friction he admittedly needs, but still has him moaning (whimpering, though he'd surely deny it) through clenched teeth.
This pixie, gratefully, does begin to offer more pressure, the knight keening above her, just in time for her partner to kneel in such a way she can graze wiggling fingertips along the tender skin of his balls while (saints help him) speedily fluttering her wings, which buzz against the base of his cock, now steadily leaking.
His mind and body are at odds, wishing for relief from the intensely ticklish feeling, but also desperately needing just a bit more; gods, pleasejustthere– "Fuck!"
With a shout he's spilling over, spend hitting his belly, pixies startling back at the volume of his voice. He breathes out a shakey laugh at the sudden release, and at the residual tingling feeling over his skin, though he's no longer being touched.
Panting, his head hits the stump behind him, and he's vaguely aware that the pixies are flitting away across the pond.
And of the sound of footsteps at the treeline, in the direction of the palace.
Sorry but someone doing something innocent like fixing your shirt or whatever but you flinch and giggle and then watching them realize and go "Oh? Are you ticklish?" with their eyes locked onto you like a wolf's on a rabbit and their lips poorly concealing a grin is flirting to me 🤷♀️
