“ In my personal opinion, previous generations of girls were subject to SO much emphasis around who you partner with/who you marry… Oh so many of the movies I grew up watching (in true Disney fashion) ended with a fantastically elaborate wedding and the line…”and they lived happily ever after.” My mom and grandmother’s (and aunt’s) examples portrayed women who married good men - who were good providers. For my generation it feels like we were on the cusp of women standing on their own two feet and having a complimentary partner…and the traditional model of as soon as you marry the right guy…then you can live happily ever after. Your generation of women and Sophie’s generation will hopefully have had enough cultural influence / models to see that a young woman shouldn’t confuse her love life and her career aspirations in any way. It’s funny…little things like what you see on tv makes a difference…for example, when I was growing up there were no female anchorwomen on the news. It was tom brokaw, dan rather and peter jennings…in the last couple of years, Soph could turn on the news and see katie kouric, diane sawyer… The culture is the air in which we breath, the water in which we swim. And my heartfelt hope is that the cultural messages for Soph and for you have taught you that a ‘woman’s place’ really can’t and shouldn’t ’t defined. That her ‘place’ is wherever she chooses to go based on her mission, her unique aptitudes, her passions.
I loved your comment about emphasizing that “Sophie seeks out and surrounds herself with her own definition of a “good” friend, no matter the gender.” completely right on. One of her best buds is a friend named Philip. He adds so much to her circle of friends. I also appreciate your comments on how you view soph, her strengths, her confidence, etc. As her mom it is really hard for me to be objective. I think she has pretty strong confidence – but since she is my first and since she is mine – I don’t have much to compare it to, objectively. So thank you for both your thoughtful insights and your honest viewpoints.
I loved your viewpoint on ‘boy craziness’ as well. For me (and I think my friends) say in 6th, 7th grade, boy craziness manifested itself as, well, like being “ lovestruck” by a guy. Like the way Bella “falls” head over heels for Edward the instant she first sees him! (tee hee) where just seeing the guy makes you speechless, makes your head swim a little bit…makes your mouth hang open. I think this is a mostly hormonal thing. And I think this varies person to person. I had friends growing up who were wayyy more objective on this front than I was. They could ‘fall’ for someone without their feet floating off the ground and their logical side going to sleep. I wonder if there is a physiological/chemical/generic component here….that hormones influence people in different ways. (if this is the case I will hope that Soph has inherited Steve’s logical/feet on the ground/engineer type makeup!) don’t get me wrong…I’m all for the falling part – it is awesome! I think the trick is to just keep the heart and the head in balance. “
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