it's as though you're a source of gravity

sometimes writing, sometimes just thoughts

[delicate-sunlight]

Please forgive my heart

for all of the ways it still

needs and wants you here

[delicate-sunlight]

How am I meant to survive

That which feels unsurvivable

How am I supposed to go on each day

Without your hand in mine

Covenants made at half past midnight

Walls red with warmth

How can I believe

this is what it is

How is any of this

“for the best”

If you’re not here

[delicate-sunlight]

How do I write the words I thought I could never say How do I tell you that which I have long since hidden away

[delicate-sunlight]

US-26

Chasing moonlight across the sky Will we meet in the morning light? As the sky turns dark and the earth goes quiet Will you still show me the way?

We dance together in infinite time Can this moment not last forever?

--------------------------------------

Searching once again it seems Found my way out, but could I ever leave? Chasing now in different directions Will we make it out of this labyrinth alive?

--------------------------------------

So long since we’ve been together Each of us with conflicting nature Though in time I think we’ll know I still shine, you still glow

[delicate-sunlight]

sometimes we ache to be reminded of words we once said not because we regret them but because we long to know what life would be if we hadn’t

i can’t remember the last thing i said

[delicate-sunlight]

some of the things that I write have sat in my head and aged over time

sometimes it takes days and sometimes years

I hold on to those words and feelings

and when they are ready

I write them

they may not be things I feel anymore

they may be love and they may be hurt

both sadness and joy I have not since felt

but I held those feelings and I gave them the time they needed

and I choose to write them anyway

I allow myself to honor those feelings

to honor the person I knew

and the person I was

and I know they would both read the words tenderly

[delicate-sunlight]

I want to create and to live freely

without feeling restricted by things of a past life

to live for beauty

and the moment it exists in

I’m afraid of being drawn back to who I was

In a time when I was no one

time is the one who haunts me

[delicate-sunlight]

It feels different this time, deeper somehow And I am excited, not scared And with time, I will know

[delicate-sunlight]

There is so much beautiful writing When I write about things I know I shouldn’t Things I no longer feel But feelings I once knew better than the streets of the city I grew up in

[delicate-sunlight]

Can someone tell me what it’s like to really care about something? I seem to have to forgotten how I can’t find the energy to care, even when I know I should, even when I know I did once before Most days I can’t find the energy to exist And yet somehow, I wake each morning Despite every bit of my body fighting against it I continue to exist I just really hope that someday soon I will find the energy to care again

It’s what I was best at, but I can’t remember how

[delicate-sunlight]

When will it end? Visions Swimming through my head Where dreams crash with reality Only years later What is real? I am never sure When it happens When it hits me What will I choose I have seen it happen before And yet I am still so unsure

Always visions haunting my mind

[delicate-sunlight]

The phases of the moon begin when we cannot see it

It is always there That we know for sure But not always visible

We could have chosen any phase to begin with

Why not when it is full? To see it start when it is brightest, when we can see it perfectly clear against the night sky To see it be torn down to nothingness each time it becomes full

But no We humans decided To see it start from nothing and turn to something beautiful with time To see it rebuild itself each time it returns to nothingness To allow it a fresh chance each time To become what we know it can be

We start with darkness And slowly We see the light

Tonight the moon is new

And so am I

[delicate-sunlight]

Maybe you don’t get to be with your soul mate forever But that doesn’t make them any less your soul mate You are the two derived from one

[delicate-sunlight]

I am in love with the moon when it is full And I am in love with the moon when it can’t be seen And really, isn’t that all love is? An unending, ever present sense of affection and support No matter the phase, no matter the era?

i am the sun and the moon reflects my light, my undying light

[delicate-sunlight]

☀️🌑

A year ago we made a decision And honestly I kind of regret it Because it’s one of the things that ties us together No matter how much I insist that it was about me just as much as it was about you It’s still one of the reasons I will never truly be able to be rid of you

[delicate-sunlight]

For you, it is never too late

[delicate-sunlight]

I don’t want forgiveness I just want to understand