୨ৎ back on my bullshit ୨ৎ

an adult with awful priorities 🫧🪷

[cookie-behemoth]

Maybe she had a point all this time

[delicatelyboredbabe]

hope everyone had a safe 4th 🎆 bahah

[seasonofhorror]

JENNIFER'S BODY

2009, dir. Karyn Kusama

[delicatelyboredbabe]

she is literally perfect ughh 🫠

[legacies-safari]

(x)

[delicatelyboredbabe]

💋💋💋

[delicatelyboredbabe]

can this body type even exist in reality?

[skinnyfridge]

[delicatelyboredbabe]

∞ ☼｡𖦹 ° . ⋆♡

[myevertyhing]

09/06/26 - The Eternal Sunshine Tour in Oakland, CA

ph. by Maria Martynovych

[delicatelyboredbabe]

the fact i got to see her live 🥹 take me back to that night ∞ ☼｡𖦹 ° . ⋆♡

[delicatelyboredbabe]

i’m not back… i refuse to be back. but i have no where else to share this.

i’ve been doing so fucking good. i have been weightlifting for months, eating lots of protein, def gained some muscle but weigh the same so likely lost fat too.

and i can’t see any of it because of my brain.

and because my brain refuses to let me see reality there is a real urge to say fuck it and dive head first back to this bullshit.

i won’t.

but the whisper is getting loud.

i’m too old for this shit. but apparently not seeing as all of hollywood has gone back to the thin is in stuff and lots of them are older than i. that’s my justification.

but i won’t. i won’t fucking do it.

i want to be strong. that much i know. so just going to keep telling myself that. and i want to enjoy life and my body and i deep down remember how unenjoyable this life was. it sounds appealing now but i have enough logic to know that it is a trick.

so i won’t.

[delicatelyboredbabe]

anyone planning to be the most cliché person ever and start again after christmas/for new years 🤣😭

because me too. lmfao.

in the meantime i hope everyone has a good christmas and isn’t too hard on themselves… really. i know it’s easier said then done but give yourself some grace if this time of year is hard. 🩷

[delicatelyboredbabe]

you know what i hate most about binging (well, beyond the obvious gluttony and calories)… it makes me feel so fucking childish.

like it makes me feel disappointed in myself the same way i’d feel disappointed at a kid who stole candy from the candy jar without asking. it is so immature… me, a grown ass woman can’t control herself around some damn treats… really? i see candy, cookies, chips, whatever and you’re telling me that i act like a 6 year old around them, just out of control eating until my tummy hurts. fuck offfffff. we can train dogs to control themselves around food but not an adult woman apparently.

i want to blame my period, hormones, or my current mental health… and sure, there may be SOME validity to those things but not enough, because regardless of those things i should be am able to make a choice and stick to my word like a grown up. period.

and now, here i am feeling sorry for myself as if i didn’t do it to my fucking self. it’s pathetic.

[delicatelyboredbabe]

so far today i ate food like a semi normal person because i have protein goals to hit for muscle growth.

then decided since i burned damn near 500 cals at the gym i deserved a little treat. starbucks has my favorite flavor for winter, so i went and got it, no modifications. the whole 320 cals.

only to come home and open instagram to this photo…

now i want to barf or maybe die.

UGHHHHHHHH.

i have to decide on a goal and stick to it because this bouncing between wanting to be a toned muscle mommy or a literal skeleton is going to drive me to the nut house.

[delicatelyboredbabe]

somehow i didn’t ruin my entire life today… i didn’t do amazing but it didn’t turn into a free for all so i consider it a win. i also exercised even though it was a holiday.

also there is a commercial that plays on the radio station that’s playing all day at my work that keeps saying “calories don’t count during the holidays” and everytime i hear it i have a visceral reaction that includes wanting to punch something. why can’t that be true 😭🤣 like fuck off.

[tinyangeldoe]

[delicatelyboredbabe]

🎀🤍🎀🤍🎀

[delicatelyboredbabe]

i really don’t know what the hell i am doing anymore.

one day i have an insatiable craving to look as though i am withering away and could crumble by a slight tap on my shoulder.

the next, i wish to look like a powerhouse who could take down a full grown predator man in one fell swoop.

basically, the only thing i know for certain to be true about myself is that i am impossible to please.

[delicatelyboredbabe]

cannot wait for stranger things 5 or to stare at how beautiful she is again 🫠

[delicatelyboredbabe]

she really is just….. perfect.

[delicatelyboredbabe]

question for those who binge eat sometimes. (like me ❤️‍🩹)

how do you deal with that time of month?? genuinely.

every month, no matter how good i may have been doing… as soon as my period comes it all goes out the window. well, actually about 2 or 3 days leading to my period is when it hits. then the first 2 days of my cycle. and i mean… i do some serious damage.

any advice? please 🥹