Delights & Discomforts: Pregnancy & Beyond

21. Married to the most amazing man on the planet. Mother to a little boy.

[wholeheart-inspiration]

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Took little man on a mini adventure today 💚

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I've been so busy taking care of Isaac that I didn't even realize how sick I am until now.

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Little man is sick today :( I took him to the doctor this morning and they just said he has a cold. I know the trip wasn't necessary but it's always better to be safe than sorry. The last two nights have been rough. He coughs himself awake every 20 or so minutes and he wants to comfort nurse constantly so my back is killing me. His temperature peaked at 101 this morning but by the time we got to the dr it was down to 98.7. Besides the dr visit I kept him inside today, but I'll probably take him on a walk or very short hike tomorrow so he can get some fresh air.

[icreatewhatibelieve]

Children see magic because they look for it.

Christopher Moore (via icreatewhatibelieve)

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I'm back! (Maybe)

It has been about 9 months since I’ve actively used this account. Life just happens. I’m going to try to start again because I like being able to look back at my posts and remember each of those moments so much more in depth than if I hadn’t posted about them. I want to be able to show my son this one day so that way he can know this version of myself. So, dear son, here’s a short list of things that have happened in the last 9ish months - we moved to Hawaii (your first plane ride!) - we’ve gone on tons of hikes and beach trips - you’ve done lots of cool new things that are all listed in your baby book. - you’re almost walking - you have 6 teeth - you say “bye” and wave - you want to walk on your own so badly but you won’t take your hand off the couch - you love being in the water - daddy had a birthday - mommy and daddy had their first night out last week - mommy got back in shape - your favorite friend is named Malakai - you love music - you used the potty for the first time

There’s so much I’m missing, but we have pictures and videos to show you. Hopefully as I start blogging more you’ll understand my emotions as each even happens. I love you so much sweet boy! I can’t believe you’ll be 1 next month.

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Hey girl! I am so curious to see what you and your sweet baby have been up to the last few months! Hope everything is blissful, even throughout all of the challenges!

Hello! Sorry I kind of fell off the grid. My family and I have been in a huge transition with our move and all. Baby boy is now 6 months old (wow time flies!) and he’s beautiful and amazing and he takes up all my time :) right now I’m adjusting to life in a new place and focusing on my little one. If you feel comfortable coming off anon, I can give you my Instagram name. I have been keeping up with that more than tumblr. Or if you have one and want to give me your name I can follow you as well :) thanks for you kind words! I hope you’re doing well and I apologize it took a long time for me to get back to you!

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I think I pulled my groin when I gave birth..

It’s been 10 weeks and my groin STILL hurts. It hurts to walk and I can’t even think about jogging. Basically anything that moves my legs hurts, including taking my shoes off. Is this normal?? My vagina still hurts too. Maybe TMI. but I did not foresee this pain lasting so long. I’ve been back to the midwife and she says the stitches healed so well that you can’t even see where they were, but it hurts…

[pixie-dust08]

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This picture means so much more to me now that I have a breastfeeding relationship with my son. I feel like I'm looking at it through new eyes.

[ilovecharts]

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This. Is. Amazing.

[raisingwildlings]

One of the main arguments against letting nursing people do so in public is because it makes men uncomfortable. Can I for one just say: Good.

Avert your eyes like I do every time a man tries to meet my gaze in public with a slick grin on his face that screams hes about to say something...

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Thank you to everyone who responded to my post about my birth experience

It means so much that so many people responded and were so encouraging. I’ve been meaning to thank all of you for a while now, but life has been a little hectic with a newborn, moving and traveling for thanksgiving. 
I recently had my 6 week appointment and I spoke with the director of the birth center about my experience with the midwife and she seemed genuinely upset by what happened. Apparently that midwife won’t be there very much longer (completely unrelated) so that’s good because I’d hate for other women to be treated how I was. 
If I have another baby in the future, I will definitely use this as a learning experience. I think I had done so much to prepare myself (natural childbirth classes, research, etc) that I didn’t think I could have a bad birth experience. I also didn’t think I would have the experience I did since I was planning to deliver at a birth center with a midwife. Thank you all again! It was so nice to have so many kind responses after opening up about everything. I think I’ve tagged everyone who responded but I’m sorry if I missed you!

frenchbreadrecovery cap-kira mommytobe123 brianabanhart wtfwrongh0le mydarlingroses mommymargaret dreamingoflittlebits mommamountain littlel0vebird @ttcbabybones

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I feel like I underestimated how much the events of my labor and birth are affecting me

Things didn’t go completely terrible, but it definitely wasn’t great either. I think the thing I’m most upset about is how my midwife treated me. It was basically a 24 hour argument. I was never able to get to the point where I felt safe enough to deliver with her, and it wasn’t til I transferred to the hospital that I could relax enough to have my baby (despite my fear of hospitals). I just wish there had been another midwife on call that night. I think things would have gone a lot better and I could have avoided a lot of the problems I had.

I wanted to make a list of things that went wrong so that maybe I’ll start to feel better about them by getting it out. Some because of the midwife, and some just because of chance.

1) I hadn’t met the midwife until I went into labor. There are about 8 midwives working at the birth center I went to, and they don’t have things set up in a way to make sure you meet them all. So when I got to the birth center I had to labor with someone who was essentially a stranger. 2) my water wouldn’t stop gushing over the course of a few hours. That’s not a big deal, but I didn’t know that happened & It made me feel self conscious. 3) I couldn’t stop throwing up. I threw up about 7 times during labor and it really exhausted me. I couldn’t keep any food or water down and after the 4th time I just didn’t want to move anymore because I felt so weak. 4) the midwife put the IV for my antibiotics and fluids in wrong. 5) I didn’t know how painful vaginal exams could be and my midwife wasn’t trying to be gentile. After telling her I wanted as few as possible because I was GBS positive and I didn’t want bacteria pushed into the birth canal, she insisted on checking my cervix every few hours. Each exam made me mentally and physically shut down because they were so painful. 6) Being GBS positive stressed me out because I felt like I was on a timeline to give birth as soon as my water broke. 7) after only 6 hours of labor the midwife started pushing to get me to go to the hospital. 8) the midwife kept telling me how much time was going by (I think in an effort to try to get me to go to the hospital). Once I got to 10 hours I started to feel like there was something wrong with me and I panicked even more. 9) while I was in labor, there was a tour at the birth center so like 20 people were walking through the hallways and the rooms next to mine. 10) after about 16 hours I agreed to transfer to the hospital so I could get the epidural and take a nap. I was so exhausted from throwing up, I didn’t have the energy left to push. 11) as soon as I got the the hospital the midwife started trying to convince me that I needed pitocin, which I refused. 12) I got into an argument with the midwife about not wanting her to wipe the vernix off the baby because it’s good for his skin. She insisted she had to. We argued about it for at least 10 minutes. 13) I was so upset at myself for going to the hospital that I couldn’t really sleep, so I just laid there for a few hours. 14) after the epidural started wearing off, I decided I was ready to push. I told the midwife I wanted to push on my side to reduce the risk of tearing. She said ok, but then she kept shifting me so I ended up on my back. She kept telling me to “push the baby up” which is stupid. Laying on your back is the most ineffective birthing position. 15) I ended up tearing in 2 places. 16) when the midwife was stitching me up, I told her I could feel it and I asked her to numb it, but she said I shouldn’t be able to feel it because of the epidural. But the epidural had practically worn off so I could. Finally she numbed it, but she was almost done. 17) after about 25 minutes of the midwife stitching me up, I politely asked her how much longer it would take because the baby was trying to breastfeed and I couldn’t get him to latch while I was on my back. She told me that if I wanted my vagina to look like a vagina again then I would wait.

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I have a question!

Isaac has a some skin in one of his neck folds that looks a little raw and peely. I keep it dry, but he sweats a lot. Is that a spot where I should put baby powder or something to help it dry and heal? I’m not sure what else to do because his chubby neck rolls are keeping it from airing out on it’s own. When he’s nursing or laying down I’ll hold his skin apart so it will get some air, but I feel like that’s not enough.

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Isaac’s cord stump FINALLY fell off :]

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Isaac gained a pound in the last week 😮

I feel like that’s too much. But I guess I can stop worrying about not making enough milk

He also grew an inch and a half which is really surprising because he had a cone head when he was born so I thought he’d be shorter once his head went back to normal. Hes growing so fast 🙊

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My two week old son has more functional pockets on his newborn size sweatpants than I do on most of my clothes…