Okay so @crunchybeards comic about my take on Hellen quest (masterpiece. btw) kicked my ass into gear to finally get this done so I present my actually serious take on whatever the fuck happens during Hellen's quest. I have an honest to god explanation for why the fruit baby looks like that I swear receipts and all.
2.0 Spoilers for: Hellen's quest, Unity Ending
Okay so first. Because this impacts everything. Her apartment.
This is probably apartment 18. Which. Not a new headcanon I know, I wasn't ever on that side of the fence because the interior seemed entirely disconnected from her...and, uh it still does, I frankly think this was an afterthought. I don't always take the apartments too literally in terms of what they say about a character (wacky layouts, nonsensical furniture amounts, Harriet doesn't have a fucking toilet). But between her having the key to the back room and this exchange here, it's pretty obviously being implied she lived here. Why she has 3 couches will haunt me forever.
Ignoring the kind of irrelevant bullshit in this apartment (girl a stamp collection?), the setting is kind of more important: lots of plants, lots of skulls, lots of death motif (corpse flower enemy, Grass Freak reminds me of corpses found fused to chairs). We know apartments reflect the resident when they change sometimes (Summer's apartment being aquatic, frozen apartment), and my pet theory for why this is (I don't think that's been established? If it feel free to hit me with tomatoes) related to the Unity ending, where Sybil reveals all mass on earth including people are parts of the Visitor, and the only thing keeping everything from merging into a big lump is these parts not knowing they're parts.
Obviously this ending happens because suddenly Sam becomes aware of this, so it requires you to be actively thinking of it...But what if on a subconscious level, those who are cursed do it to their surroundings, just a little bit? Maybe everything being connected means sometimes, the environment around a particular person may change as well.
That is to say, I think her apartment isn't so much literally littered with bodies (I know a popular HC is she fed bodies to her plants...if she had a big outdoor garden, I guess I can see it, but if we assume she grew her plants in an apartment because well, she lives in one...Ehhh? Good luck girl), as it is just morphing around the two strongest parts of her identity: her bloodlust and her love of plants.
The Visitor changes things that observe it- walls, furniture, corpses aren't gonna do that. I don't think it's her victims coming back or anything like that.
Part of why I think this apartment and its changes are reflective of her: credit goes to Pangolin-404 for noticing this because I definitely didn't originally catch on, but Marvin, the guy who starts fusing to her floor and turning into a big ole pitcher plant beast, starts to talk an awful lot like her...
Also, worth noting is the delightful gift he has...is killing someone via digesting them. So, methinks he caught her bloodlust and not just her connect to nature and weird vague positive intuition.
Okay anyways. This is important because if the apartment is a reflection of Hellen's thoughts, feelings, identity, etc., that plant she's caring for is also going to be impacted. I mean, this thing is growing out of floorboards with seemingly no light source and just her and Sam watering it. She also weirdly just knows how much longer it is until it's matured.
I still don't quite know what I want to make of the body shaped lump it starts as. One part of me wants to say body of the last person she tried all this with (makes sense later, but also, ehhh) when it didn't go over as nicely, other part of me with all that ^^ in mind makes me want to say it's just about having another person with her at all. She says it's been a long, long time since anyone has been this close to her, and she is very closed off and isolated (preference, sure, but I guess if you're killing on the down low...). She's gotta be lonely. This is all happening because Hellen is letting him get to know her better, to get closer, so I guess you could say this thing was born from a need for companionship.
(My only other explanation, with only exists because it's interesting that Hellen says she is caring for a plant "in apartment 18"...not her apartment...Maybe this was the apartment of someone she knew? Someone important to her, and this plant is the last of them that remains. She could still be subconsciously changing the apartment even if it's not hers, I suppose).
In any case, a lot of the dialogue over the following days is pretty revealing. I focus on her "redeeming quality" comment a lot, because I always felt important to her character is that Sam letting her in was a BIG show of kindness. She had nowhere else to go ("I just need a place to crash. Got nowhere to go." her apartment was too unsafe for just her to take on?), she clearly is used to people rejecting and being afraid of her (her unmoved "Oh, okay" if you attack her, "people scream when they see my face"), she's considerate and tries to lessen her impact of staying there (washing the dishes, eating in the bathroom so people aren't uncomfortable, if she's hungry unlike the other companions she won't ask him for food).
And if you kick her out, she's really hurt. The body language is telling. Usually when her movement is described in interactions, the focus is on her size, but nothing implies she's particularly forceful like this normally.
Hellen's referencing the kindness he's shown her, it's she values most about him. It's kinda the defining thing about her relationship to Sam, whatever you see them as. He let her in, now she's letting him in. All the other dialogue are all full of her praising him for the positive traits he has that she values, his tenderness, his diligence, his willingness to "care for something, to pour my life into something and see it gain a life of its own" (can literally feed his arm to the wall for his new rat baby) just as she does for her plants.
"I notice these things. They're important to me."
This plant is very important to her, for whatever reason...and clearly, at the point you are getting this quest, Sam is also very important to her. And if this thing is a reflection of, then, well...
The fruit looking like Sam suddenly isn't as bonkers. Okay it's still kind of bonkers but now it's funny and meaningful. Hellen outright calls the fruit "...the fruit of our new world, [player name].", "the fruits of our labor", "The plant we raised together,.
This isn't just about her, this is about Sam just as much. You know what else we know about her feelings towards Sam, outside of the dialogue relevant to this quest?
Her bloodlust doesn't spare him.
(Taken from a transcript of Frankie's stream)
I have. So many thoughts. On her bloodlust. So many. This quest only made it worse. However to go on about it would be losing the forest for the trees so the focus here is that she does fantasize about hurting Sam. I always took it as an involuntary, intrusive thought kinda thing, a constant morbid "I could", but either way she has it under control and doesn't want to hurt him (as long as he doesn't give her a reason to, but that's not unique to him). She just thinks about it.
As we know, she post-partum aborts that thing. Actually! No!! THEY post-partum abort that thing! She may finish it off if Sam doesn't kill it fast enough, but she not only invites him to partake, she makes him see this.
[Trying to leave the room:] Hellen: No. We're not done.
So keeping her bloodlust in mind, killing something that looks like Sam, when she so clearly values him greatly, obviously isn't about any malicious intent. I had to ask why she wanted him to see this, and I think it's twofold:
That stream I quote above confirms she is a serial killer. I imagine having to hide such a thing made forming connections hard, if someone finds out who she truly is...Revealing something like that is probably understandably difficult, and given how much she emphasizes she is being purposefully vulnerable and this is so important to her, she's opening herself up for a LOT of hurt here via Sam's reaction.
It's a way to act on those violent thoughts and get it out of her system in a way that doesn't actually harm him at all. If anything, letting Sam partake and see is like an announcement of how much she doesn't want to hurt him. See? I'm in control, I won't hurt you, look at the lengths I'll go not to. Considering she just knows when it'll mature, I just she just instinctively knows this is why it looks like him too, and is unfazed by it.
The reason I think this whole thing sorta doubles as a...vague "is he chill with me jeff the killing people" litmus test for Sam is that I think those shears ain't for gardening. I think that was missus' murder weapon of choice.
They're stained...red. The fruit's purple, and...frankly those are big ass shears, they're specifically hedge shears. She is not harvesting tomatoes with those fucking things.
And then there's the fact it's weapon of choice also when killing the fruit baby, and also also when killing Sam, if you fail the quest (more on that in a minute).
The cleaver she comes with isn't it her murdering weapon, clearly. If the shears are her preferred murder weapon, then I frankly doubt she's talking about actual gardening here:
Hellen: I want you to have my shears, [player name]. I've gardened with these for a long time. But I think it's time they see a new garden. [Receive Stained Shears.]
Considering you then use it as a weapon (or if Sam doesn't have both arms, you can hand it right back to her lol) too. If this her long-term murder weapon, something she's used a lot, something's had a long time...That's a pretty goddamn personal and sentimental thing to give to someone. She explicitly wants him to use them (new garden), she "believes you deserve them".
She's literally showing and handing him all of her, and trusting him with it.
I also think it's notable that the "I'm glad it was with you" comes specifically after murdering the fruit and her handing those over to you. She could mean sharing the experience of gardening with someone...But what if she's referring to let someone else in on her little hobby?
Inviting Sam to kill, alongside her, with her preferred weapon is him more or less seeing what she is, and accepting it. He has seen the part of her she keeps so intensely under wraps, and he has not a negative word to say for literally the entire duration of all this.
And honestly, we get some hints that Sam is (rightfully!) scared of Hellen, or that she is realistically a threat to him:
Her response seems fairly conclusive. You'd rather not pursue the matter any further.
Ah. You don't know what that means, and you're not sure if you want to. You'd rather not pursue the matter any further.
But Sam is Sam and stares every single red flag in the face and goes mmmmmmmm nope I like her :). Throughout the duration of the quest he is very happy and honored to spend time with and learn more about her, he is very genuinely curious about who she is and trusts her enough to follow her to a mysterious back room. He even is the one who can bring up how vulnerable she is being with him, and how he knows this is a big show of trust on her part. It's very sweet.
Lastly, this is all why I think she goes so hostile if Sam forgets to go and water it. What's interesting is if you just have Sam say he isn't interested at the start of all this, she fully respects that decision and is normal about it.
After all, she hasn't shown Sam any of the stuff above, so no harm no foul if he doesn't wanna do all this. But to fail her quest is to be let in, to have her be so vulnerable, so revealing, emphasize over and over how important this is to her, and remind him to return multiple times.
...And you forget. You just forget. It means so little to you you forget.
I mean fuck man. Say she did all this before the Visitor and someone bails? They know she's killed people, they gotta go. But that's not relevant in the end of the world. Plus, Hellen's very in control, and is otherwise shown to be very reasonable and respectful in her other interactions, if a bit curt and rude when her boundaries are pushed or she gets flustered (her telling people to shut up/leave her alone/that she'll hurt them when she's overwhelmed always tickles me). So why is going so apeshit now?
Well, there's the magnitude of how much what just happened must hurt. It's so callous, to be not even rejected, but just ignored. How unimportant is she to him that he can do that? Did it mean nothing?
Or maybe she perceives it as rejection. Who knows.
What we do know is cursed are more vulnerable to emotions and change as a result, and even the more lucid people can have slight changes to themselves- Louis only fuses to the suit once he thinks of it and due to hunger, Sam in flawed ritual changes worse the more he panics, Morton can show up corrupted and less sane. Also, in battle, she is referred to as "the maniac", not by her name. Maniac, someone who is experiencing mania- A mental state defined by abnormally elevated or agitated mood, over a sustained period of time, with symptoms such as impaired judgement and sometimes dangerous behaviors.
I mean, she's attacking your whole party, not just Sam. She can be wearing that paper mask and still attack Rat baby, that's fucked.
My thought is that Sam forgetting, which she perceives as a massive hurt and betrayal, triggers that bloodlust she would've used the fruit to rid herself of, and caused her to fully snap and weaken in mental state. She uses the same tool to extinguish the fruit, the result of something so important to her and her shared experience with Sam, to put Sam himself down if he hurts her bad enough.
Honestly what sucks the most about this take to me:
Is that if this is the case...She lost her control. She became exactly what she didn't want to, and feared she could be.
Trying to give myself some more challenging animations to tackle SO a continuous walk cycle with some character acting. The music is there mainly to have something to time the pace of the walk and the acting to (and I think it just makes it feel more engaging than silence).
Was working on this back in January and thought I'd get back to it sooner than later but it's sat on my computer as roughs this whole time lmao. I DO want to get back to this and clean/color/comp it, there are just some technical things I gotta figure out with marrying the 2D and 3D that I haven't had a minute to investigate yet.
song is "ooh la la" by Run the Jewels (Mexican Institute of Sound Remix)
[looking at people younger than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at people older than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at myself] its over
romaincrisis
tangentwithtanner
ellievsbear
discoholicmusic
andulkaphoto
prguitarman
pixelskylines
kianamaiart
theartofmadeline
