Chloé

Twitter: demo_hongseok love most things tbh; she/her

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

I’ll never forget the time I was sitting with this guy, nice kid, didn’t know him well, I think we must have had a bottle of wine or some questionable hashish or something, and in response to an awkward silence I just started talking and ended up going on a long meandering rant about how ugly American robins are. I’m talking a full monologue. I had an intro and conclusion. It was pointlessly vehement. I have never been so mean or loquacious about anything in my life.

Consider my horror when this perfectly nice guy wordlessly lifted his shirt to reveal a full-torso prismacolor tattoo of his spiritual soul animal, the American robin.

[sphagnumopus]

Their scientific name sounds like "Migrating Turd" but otherwise I find them charming if fairly derpy and mundane. I don't know if I'd get a tattoo of one though. They're like the potato of American birds.

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

I have no actual animosity towards them. They’re fine. I like them. They remind me if my college roommate and beloved friend. I don’t know why I said any of that—I was grasping at straws for something kind of provocative to say and failed so catastrophically that I was catapulted into a Seinfeld skit.

[oldbooksmellhuffer]

eerily similar to the time in college someone tried to make conversation by making fun of a silly book a former high school teacher of theirs had written only for me to just pull out a physical copy of the exact book because i’d realized he was talking about my dad

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

the foot seeks the mouth like leaves seek the sun

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

in my mortification I misremembered the location of the tattoo but I just found the photo of his one hit KO reveal:

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

buddy I don’t know why I say things

[avasillva]

But you get it, though. You might not be her father, but you were someone’s. See, I could tell.

THE LAST OF US S01E01: When You’re Lost in the Darkness S01E05: Endure and Survive

[tinstol-archive]

It’s time to stop treating first dates, first kisses, and losing virginity as milestones or rites of passage that must be completed. It’s time to stop expecting these things to happen in everyone’s teen years or even in their twenties. It’s time to stop letting people call themselves “late bloomers” for getting their first kiss at 16. It’s stupid. It’s unnecessary. It’s damaging to people who for whatever reason it may be don’t have romantic prospects or don’t even want to do those things.

[poisonseller]

my parents sold me to oingo boingo... one direction didn’t want me

[poisonseller]

i shred on the trumpet. they needed me.

[strawbie-doodle]

first critrole episode of 2023! its year of the rabbit so here's a rabbit orym 🌱✶

[theblackparadeisdead]

Fall Out Boy is good because pete wentz was supposed to be the lawyer nepotism baby of all time and then he was like actually I'm going to start a pop punk band with my friend Andy and this freak my 15 year old chauffeur/guitarist/punching bag got into an argument with at a bookstore who he then brought home and asked if we could keep

[theblackparadeisdead]

@pretty-meris Joe Biden was literally at his parents wedding I MEAN the nepotism baby lawyer of ALL TIME

[the-stranger-i-know-best]

it is because of Joe Biden we have fall out boy because his parents met campaigning for his senate election.

You haven’t cancelled my student loan debt, but at least you gave me my favorite band.

[jackdoe]

Something something domino effect, Joe Bidens political career to That one song in the Bionicles commercial.

[farmgf]

(gripping bathroom sink) we are all going forward none of us are going back we are all going forward none of us are going back we are all going forward none of us are going back we are all going forward none of us are going back we are all going forward none of us are g

[vikingfunerals]

the commodification of friendship is the most annoying thing to come out of the internet in ages. like actually i love to break this to you but you're supposed to help your friends move even if it's hard work. or stay up with them when they're sad even if you're gonna lose sleep. you're supposed to listen to their fears and sorrows even if it means your own mind takes on a little bit of that weight. that's how you know that you care. they will drive you to the airport and then you will make them soup when they're sick. you're supposed to make small sacrifices for them and they are supposed to do that for you. and there's actually gonna be rough patches for both of you where the balance will be uneven and you will still be friends and it will not be unhealthy and they will not be abusive. life is not meant to be an endless prioritization of our own comfort if it was we would literally never get anywhere ever. jesus.

[jingerpi]

also let's ppl as young as 14 drive the death machines we call cars to and from their job late at night

let me re-emphasize this part:

[maliketh]

my ability to find any image in a matter of minutes based on vague descriptions + when that fails i have my vast network of undercover agents around the globe to fill in my blind spots

[maliketh]

[shaponess]

Child’s play

[sexy-necromancing-bird]

Bein’ a vampire is actually way less sexy when you consider you must now live a life without garlic knots

[xemeterydr]

I’m lactose intolerant but I still eat ice cream. I’m no pussy and neither are vampires

[sexy-necromancing-bird]

your so smart

[xemeterydr]

Dude that was over 2 1/2 years ago why are you just now responding

[sexy-necromancing-bird]

Are you mad at me

[mono-red-menace]

copper my beloved

[mono-red-menace]

rose gold, brass, bronze, what cant she do

[mono-red-menace]

beautiful base colour, beautiful patina, and it mixes to make beautiful alloys. 10/10 best metal.

[mono-red-menace]

she also makes up so much of your wiring, she’s a working gal too.

what CANT she do

[kirby-left-front-away-from-me]

Don’t forget about the most beautiful blue made by copper sulfate!!

[mono-red-menace]

my absolute FAVOURITE comments on this post are ones like this.

where they just add on something ELSE that copper does. it’s great.

[aspiringwarriorlibrarian]

When you need to work in an atmosphere where a stray spark could cause an explosion, you switch out your steel tools for copper alloys since it conducts heat much better and thus won’t spark easy.

[swan2swan]

So when Tumblr user @mono-red-menace​ hypes up copper, it’s a 60k-note banger, but when I, Ea-nasir,

[nocnaviola-deactivated20231025]

pride & prejudice (2005)

[vaspider]

I’m watching Jurassic Park and dreaming of a remake where the dinosaurs all have feathers.

[teaboot]

NO BUT THE BOOK EXPLAINS WHY NONE OF THE DINOSAURS ARE ACTUALLY PROPER DINOSAURS BUT NOBODY READ IT

[teaboot]

Okay okay okay so the book explains that the whole park was a terrible idea basically from the start. The genetic engineer (or like the rich nut in charge) once made a super tiny elephant as a pet and it was awful. Just an ill-tempered bald corgi of an animal. Just bad.

Now, the dinosaurs in the park aren’t exactly ‘clones’ of the DNA in the mosquito- in fact, the DNA in the mosquito isn’t really a big player. The book says that the dinosaurs aren’t really DINOSAURS as they existed, but essentially homemade animals built from scratch to Look and Act the way we think a dinosaur Should. Like glorified toys. They could have just as easily made one eyes one horned flying purple people eaters, and it wouldn’t have mattered.

Which is actually quite clever, seeing as it sort of bakes in an excuse for any factual inaccuracies in the movies, no matter how up-to-date the critters are at the time of production.

They don’t look the way dinosaurs ACTUALLY DID because their designs are BASED ON INCOMPLETE DATA, not solid and complete genetic samples taken from real life.

[injuries-in-dust]

They had one line in Jurassic World to explain all that: 

Henry Wu : “Nothing in Jurassic World is natural, we have always filled gaps in the genome with the DNA of other animals. And if the genetic code was pure, many of them would look quite different. But you didn’t ask for reality, you asked for more teeth.”

Took four movies, but they explained it.   

[humanfist]

Frog DNA was mentioned in the first movie, it just took beating people over the head with it.

[vaspider]

Fluffy T-Rexes Eating Capitalists.

That’s all I want.

[fandomsandfeminism]

My favorite Jurrasic Park theory is that none of the creatures have any real dino dna at all. That the whole “mosquito in amber” story is a lie to make it believable; those animals are just chimeras of frogs and iguanas and emus and crocs and whatever the fuck to make them look “right.” Total fabrications.

After all, why invite an archeologist to the park and not, say, a zoo manager?

Because the archeologists arent there to evaluate safety at all. They are there to see if these chimeras can fool even an expert.

[locuas642]

meanwhile, the blood-sucking lawyer who had oh so devious intentions such as “investigate the safety of the park after several reports of missing or dead workers.“ only bothered to hire… an expert in chaos theory who can help asses how safe the park is and who (in the book) accurately predicts how the park would fail massively…

…

man, those theories about Hammond being actually the bad guy of the whole franchise might actually be right…

[fandomsandfeminism]

Oh, Hammond is 100% the bad guy. Like. You perfect that level of genetics technology and your instinct is to paton the hell out of it and try to find a way to make as much money as possible out of it?

“Capitalism corrupts scientific advancement to dangerous extremes” is a pretty solid interpretation of the film.

[katjohnadams]

I mean, that’s not even interpretation. That was very explicitly textual.

“I’ll tell you the problem with the scientific power that you’re using here: it didn’t require any discipline to attain it. You read what others had done and you took the next step. You didn’t earn the knowledge for yourselves, so you don’t take any responsibility for it. You stood on the shoulders of geniuses to accomplish something as fast as you could and before you even knew what you had you patented it and packaged it and slapped it on a plastic lunchbox, and now you’re selling it, you want to sell it.”

[fandomsandfeminism]

Malcolm really has his finger on the issue that whole movie.

[sexdrugstrek]

Also they’re not archeologists. They’re paleontologists.

[fandomsandfeminism]

You are 100% correct. I realized my mistake after this got a bunch of reblogs. Lolol.

[autisticexpression]

All of these explanations are just handwaves to excuse the inaccurate appearance of the dinosaurs. I have no hate for the first film and book, which I have read. In fact, I love it. They made every attempt to portray dinosaurs as accurately as possible given the knowledge of the time and it shows. Even though I know that’s not what actual dinosaurs looked like, they feel real. The “frog DNA” thing was just in there to explain how they could reproduce despite the attempts to sterilize them. Life finds a way. Even the weirder bits like the venom-spitting Dilophosaurus were framed as genuine speculations about what we can’t learn from fossils, not mutations from contaminated DNA. If you look at a serious educational dinosaur book from the 90s, you’ll see dinosaurs that look much like the ones in the movie. They wanted to show people real dinosaurs, and it was cutting edge. It revolutionized the way dinosaurs were portrayed in media. Lines like “they do move in herds” and “this thing doesn’t live in a swamp” seem so corny and weird when we watch the movie today, but they really were paradigm-shifting revelations for audiences at the time. Until then, dinosaurs were perceived as dumb cold-blooded lizards who lay around in swamps until the asteroid took them out. Jurassic Park said no, these were intelligent, active, intelligent creatures with complex social lives. Even the connection to birds is emphasized a lot in the first movie, and Alan Grant gets laughed at for bringing it up because it was still a controversial idea! I fucking love this movie!!!

Jurassic World, though? Doshshit. The explanation for why they don’t have feathers could just as easily explain why they do have feathers now. The raptors look very different from the first movie’s raptors anyway. Put some feathers on them. It just looks fake because they aren’t making any attempt at portraying real dinosaurs anymore. They’re trying to capture nostaligia by recreating what is now a very outdated image of dinosaurs, and it just falls flat because that’s the opposite of what the original was doing. Jurassic Park showed us dinosaurs how no one had ever seen them before. Jurassic World showed us a bunch of shitty cartoons. They’re about as convincing as Roger Rabbit if I’m geing generous. At least he was out front about being a cartoon.

With all the shitty remakes being made these days, Jurassic Park is one of the few franchises that actually should be rebooted in line with our current understanding of dinosaurs. It needed a sequel trilogy like a hole in the head.

[vaspider]

Next you’re going to tell me that big robots don’t really protect the Pacific coastline as if that is at all relevant to my post.

I just want a remake so I can see a fat fluffy chickadee the size of a T-Rex eating capitalists.

I don’t care about any of this and I haven’t cared for the entire four years since I made this post. I want a remake so I can see fatbirbs eat a Jeffrey Bezos stand-in.

[mcnutcase]

RAPTORS WITH CARDINAL PLUMAGE

SCAVENGER DINOS THAT LOOK LIKE CHICKENS UNTIL YOU NOTICE THE TEETH

SAUROPODS WITH IRIDESCENT FEATHERS, YOU COWARDS

And yes, gigantic T. rex borbs eating techbros.

[kirabug-tumbles]

This is all going to end in a Canada Goose the size of a T. Rex chomping down on people on Wall Street isn’t it?

[vaspider]

G-d, I hope so.

[sea-salted-wolverine]

To the very best of our modern paleontological knowledge, T. Rex’s were not fluffy. I am so sorry. There are skin impressions and various preserved soft tissues covering nearly the entire body and there are no feathers.

However. I see your dream and I respect it. I say we dump 30 or so cassowarys in the senate chambers and make our own movie. Those bird think they’re dinosaurs and no one has ever been brave enough to tell them otherwise.

[vaspider]

Next you’re going to tell me that Pedro Pascal isn’t a bounty hunter as if any of this is relevant to my post.

Please see this illustrated guide to what I want:

[dwarf-scum]

@vaspider but may I suggest adding a second thing, which is a big fluffy T. Rex doing things from goofy bird videos like hopping around to music and wiggling at things?

[claraswald]

Alicent Hightower Appreciation Week — Day 2

FAVORITE QUOTE

[marzipanandminutiae]

“women in STEM” what about women in Victorian nightgowns? women in bloodstains? women in creaking old houses, and a state of barely contained homosexual desire?

[silvasaliva]

having cash is like having secret money. like whos gonna find out i’m buying tacos with this crisp $20 bill??? not my bank account, that’s for sure

[mtndewloyalist-x]

That’s literally why the government wants to stop it