🖤

[jayyyneotai]

[groovysarity]

I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

i appear to have made mortal nemeses with a pigeon

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

tumblr stop rooting for the pigeon

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

[victusinveritas]

He's prostrating himself before the Eucharist, in case you're wondering. Or possibly planking.

[vvatchword]

@apocrypals

[apocrypals]

Hi, pope expert here. This isn’t funny — popes only do this when they’re in extreme distress

[rainathrownaway]

We're all in extreme distress, he's not special.

[atom1cbonsai]

nope. i dont car

[sheherlockholmes]

mothers day cards: hey queen 👸😋! thank you for cooking 🍳 and cleaning 🧽🧹🧺 and shopping 🛍🛒 and taking care of our health insurance 🙊⚕️and just being a great beautiful lady! 🥰❤️ we love you so much mom!!!

fathers day cards: you FART 💨 and thats FUNNY 🤡

[theperksofbeingahugefuckingcunt]

Apparently my stepdad and I are fucking psychically linked because ?? every single time he makes chili for dinner I get a migraine. Without fail. And it became like a ha ha running joke because it happened so many times but now I’m living 3 hours away from my parents and I just texted my mom and

WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME

[theperksofbeingahugefuckingcunt]

Happy disability pride month

[nose-bl]

via @ninjahijabimuse​

this is so much better i love it

[monidoll]

the united states of america is the most repugnant country in the world

[innerchildabortionclinic]

I hold a grudge against someone for a decade+ over posting something like this on facebook once. even psych ward doctors knew of her name because I remembered my hatred during psychosis #myburninghatred

[dustarts-rb-acc]

[senatortedcruz]

This is so beautiful

[ryan-sometimes]

I think it's so funny how we bred JOBS into dogs. I have two shih tzus and they were bred to be lap dogs. All they care about is looking cute and cuddling with people. Meanwhile my grandma has a border collie and that dog needs to feel so useful all the time, he acts like he will pass away if he doesn't have a job to do constantly

[halomancer]

On one hand this is extremely fucking funny, but on the other hand, it really boggles my mind how many people punish their dogs for just… doing the thing they were bred to do.

Your husky isn’t “hyperactive”, it’s bred to pull sleds for 8 hours straight and you have it in a 400 sq ft yard.

Your English sheepdog isn’t “pushy”, it’s bred to herd sheep, and you have neither to space nor the herd to allow it.

Your terrier isn’t “nippy”, it’s bred to kill rats and your hamster looks a hell of a lot like one.

Your Catahoula isn’t “mean to animals”, it’s bred to hunt any and all animals smaller than it, and you didn’t acclimate it to your cat.

Your Lhasa Apso isn’t “yappy”, it’s bred to bark at any tiny noise and alert watchmen to intruders

Like Jesus Christ, if you can’t provide an environment where your dog can’t fulfill its literal life purpose, maybe?? Don’t get that dog??? And if you do, maybe know the breed characteristics so you can redirect those traits into more constructive outlets????

[lemonsharks]

Both your most common doodle's parts (labra and golden) want to hunt and retrieve water birds so the best suggestion I can give y'all is congratulations on your new duck hunting hobby.

[safetytank]

#people will overlook the perfect breeds to suit their needs based on just their looks#and get a work dog because it looks cool

[queerb]

tags from @gnarlystarships because YEAH

[maggiedeshiboux]

@gallusrostromegalus

[gallusrostromegalus]

Any time someone sees Herschel and says "AWWW I want a Corgi <3" (because he is Very Cute (TM)), I immediately reply: "Do not get a Corgi unless you have a job for it to do. They were bred to bully livestock across the hills of Wales. This is basically a Border Collie that knows he is cute enough to get away with murder. If you get one and it doesn't have a job, it will apply its livestock-bullying instincts to YOU. Herschel's job specifically is to help manage my crippling ADHD, because I don't have a bull for him to micromanage." This gets me odd looks at the home depot but it does get the point across.

[hotvampireadjacent]

Halal movie night follow up

[c3po]

is 5 too young for the dark crystal? i don’t want to scare my sister but i want to show her

[effemimaniac]

I forgot that was the name of a film when I read this and thought you were desperate to show your 5 y/o sister some sort of cursed artifact

[lakevida]

complimented a womans clear raincoat this morning and she said Well i feel like a sandwich

[triplesuns]

Thank god I saved this from gayporntattoos before it got deleted

[kosmogrl]

[glowingghosty]

[parakeet]

watching jerma's old stardew valley vids from ten years ago for the first time. this poor guy had like 5 cabbages planted and like 8 string beans on his entire farm. and a meteor hit his farm and obliterated half of his string beans. he attempted to break the meteor with a cherry bomb which only served to destroy 3 of the 4 remaining string beans. he destroyed the remaining string bean in a fit of rage

[datadegroove-deactivated2026042]

stop deactivating

[datadegroove-deactivated2026042]

i thought we all agreed we were here forever

[kirishima-hates-terfs]