When your depressed you dont control your thoughts, your thoughts control you, I wish people understood that

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@depressedmonkey422
When your depressed you dont control your thoughts, your thoughts control you, I wish people understood that
i recently realized that i stay up until unreasonable hours of the night not because i don't want to sleep, but because i don't want to wake up
i don’t think anyone realises just how much i want to kms and how close i am to it
self harm doesn’t always happen when a blade touches skin.
Closing the chapter
The worst pain is being in no contact with the one person you’re still in love with, who at one point in time sent you texts that made your heart melt. Butterflies every time you saw them. And now you love them only in silence from a distance. Slowly being forced to close every chapter you never wanted to end. 📖
I feel like shit
“Keep ignoring me until you lose me one day.”
I think if I told anyone my truthful thoughts they would all run away.
*points at mirror*: dat me?
you promised me "forever"
but you forgot to mention how short it would be.
triggering yourself just to feel something >>>
i am sick of
being the second choice
being ignored
never being taken seriously
being the friend who has to walk behind everyone
getting my heart broken
being too fat
being "lazy"
being myself
not being supported by my own parents
never being the favorite child
overworking and still not getting recognition
being ugly
`
repost if you agree
Weirdly specific symptoms of AvPD:
- Not sharing new hobbies or impulse buys with close friends or family or partners, keeping "unecessary" things secret, people might accuse you of being too secretive
- Impulse to delete social media updates after publishing them
- Impulse to delete comments on social media platforms when they "preform" badly
- "Paralyzis" in social settings - you have an idea of what to say, but it feels physically impossible, and when it's too late and people have moved on from the topic you give up
- Immediate, self destructive, and violent regret after saying something, anything
- Ghosting people when the immediate high of someone giving you attention falter, not because you don't like them anymore, but because you forget you can interact with people when it's not "extraordinary"
- Being overly generous to make sure people like you, paying for things, giving gifts etc
- Forced proximity and/or enemies to lovers seems the only way that someone can fall in love with you
- Secondhand embarrasment from TV or other media is unbearably painful, even if it's a "bad" character doing something wrong
- You spend hours on thinking how people percieve you, and it's both thrilling and terrifying
- Saving/screenshotting funny things you think of sharing with a friend, but you change your mind and only keep them to yourself
Feel free to add more❤️
@tavpdfw ✨
the depressed girl fall is coming back
I'm so fucking tired of my life