This wasn’t how things were supposed to go. Derek wasn’t a victim; he hadn’t been since he was a kid and had dealt with Carl Buford. Which made this situation even worse for him to deal with. The only saving grace through the whole ordeal was that he knew how to disassociate himself from the pain. He’d gotten to talk with his “father” though who knew if that’s who it really was, considering he’d been hallucinating and locked inside his own mind. It was the only way he’d been able to survive the ordeal.
Now, though, he had to learn how to live with the aftermath of it all. Hadn’t he proven that he was stronger than all the crap he had to deal with every day? He managed to overcome the abuse he suffered at the hands of someone who should have been a mentor to him. He was able to come back to work every day, even given some of the horrible cases they worked on that made him wonder if he was really cut out for this job.
But this. This was different. He had never been tortured like this before. Even with the disassociation, he could still feel the pain of everything that was sent his way. It had made what happened to him even worse. He was safe now, though. He had to keep reminding himself of that. He was in the hospital, he would be going home now, and he was safe.
Physically, yes. He was completely safe. He wouldn’t have to worry about anymore torturous devices being used on him. There would be no more burning of his chest. No more whips to his abs. But mentally? He was far from safe. Much as he tried to avoid it, he couldn’t help but think of the experience. Even when he blocked it out, it would still come back to haunt him in his dreams. He’d already scared the nurses more than once waking up screaming and trying to fight them off of him when they were only trying to help.
After the first night of that happening, he did his best not to sleep, but that only made him more tired. Blinking his eyes and doing his best to keep them open, he turned to the one person who’d kept him going through everything: Ivory. The love of his life. The person who he would do anything for. It was knowing that he would be leaving her behind that kept him fighting.
Doing his best to offer a smile, he reached his hand out for hers, wanting to feel the contact.
“You know you can go home,” he told her, not knowing how much longer they would be keeping him here for observation and to make sure his wounds were healing properly. “I know it’s not comfortable sleeping in a chair like that all the time. Go home, eat something tasty, and get some good sleep, yeah?”
Derek had a feeling she would deny the request, but he wanted her to take care of herself, not standing--or rather, sitting--vigil by his bedside every night if she didn’t want to.