I'm not very active on Tumblr. But all of a sudden Taylor is on here and I find myself spending way too many hours going from one post to another, to a video, to a picture, to other pages of people I've never followed before, etc.. Seeing as Taylor is pretty much the queen of Tumblr now (and lets be honest, she's the coolest cat out there. See what I did there ;) I want to share something that she's helped me realize this year.
Boys have been my life since I was 14. I pretty much had a constant boyfriend all through middle school, high school, and up until where I'm at my now, junior year of college. I never really knew what it was like to be single. It's easy to think, "How could that be a bad thing?" But let me tell you, only now have a realized how bad of a thing it was.
I let guys influence who I was. I was becoming less Desiree and more Desiree with so-and-so, Desiree trying to make so-and-so happy. I was like a brand new lump of clay. Untouched, still trying to decide what it was. But before I could sculpt myself, after being through the hands of a couple guys, I looked at myself and realized I resemble who I thought I was. I resembled the girl those guys wanted. I almost didn't even recognize myself. How could love be so blind in the sense that I let other people mold and sculpt me without me even realizing it?
My sophomore year of college I met my best friend. He had his weaknesses. I had mine. We fell in love. He loved me as I was. But still, old habits die hard and I found myself changing for him. We are both LDS (Mormon) and he left to serve a 2 year church mission. And can you imagine what happened when he left? I was like a glove without a hand. A spirit without a body to dwell. I was lost. I had given to much of myself to him that I didn't know how to function without him.
This is when I finally found myself. I picked myself up and said, "You don't NEED anyone to make yourself feel complete" and this is when my project began. Of course I write my sweet missionary every week, but now, I focus on myself. Selfish? No. It's called independence and realizing that I have some and want more. I don't need a guy to make my life feel more fulfilled. Because honestly, being in a relationship requires two people. If one of them doesn't know themselves, or how to live and enjoy life by themselves, how would they even know how to do that with another person?
Girls. Young girls especially. You don't need boys to make you feel beautiful and loved. You don't need boys to go on adventures and experience new things and discover the world and yourself. Focus on yourself first and then, only then will you be ready for them. Taylor Swift has been the upmost example of that, especially this year with the release of 1989. Taylor has always felt like an older sister to me because she seems to have gone through some of the same heartaches and experiences. If she can embrace her independence and freedom and happiness, above all things, then you all can too. I've learned so much about myself, about self worth and independence and I know I could never be this happy if it wasn't for finding that, and discovering that.
Thank you Taylor Swift for not only being a wonderful example to me, but to girls just like me, and you, all over the world.
Sorry I don't like cats. I'm a dog person. But can we still be friends?
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