Fighting With P u r p o s e @despairfulhope-blog - Tumblr Blog

convictixns-deactivated20150711

[ Disclaimer: Banner art is not my work. ]

;;So, I’ve finally hit the 700 follower milestone, and I’m so, so very happy to have so many people supporting this blog! You all mean to much to me, and I absolutely love being here, especially with all the lovely people I meet and with all the fun I have portraying my muses! Thank you all so much for your love, support, and just being here to show me that people like my blog and its content! It really means the world to me!

◤ᴍʏ ᴅᴀʀʟɪɴɢs; ◥

heartxofxice

armoredxhearts

◤sᴛᴀʟʟʏ ɴᴇᴇᴅs ᴀ ᴅᴇsɪɢɴᴀᴛᴇᴅ ᴄᴀᴛᴇɢᴏʀʏ ᴛʙʜ; ◥

stalwartprotector

stalwartdefender

◤ᴍʏ ᴍᴏsᴛ ʙᴇʟᴏᴠᴇᴅ ғʀɪᴇɴᴅs; ◥

despairfulhope

inescapablefates

lenisxrex

knightsxswords

xsonata

kentofcaelin

ask-mark-and-lyn

◤ᴅᴀsʜʙᴏᴀʀᴅ ғᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇs/ᴡᴀɴᴛ ᴛᴏ ɪɴᴛᴇʀᴀᴄᴛ ᴡɪᴛʜ; ◥

lady-princess-peach

akxane

scatteredxacrossxtime

generalzelgius

radiant-mercenary

sacaen

ask-boredprinceofaltea

micaiah

foreverwxndering

#{Follow Forever}#{You are my beloved friend too and thank you~}

inboxideas

send me a (≚ᄌ≚)ƶƵ for my character's reaction to yours crawling into bed with them.

#{IC Meme}#{Specify Muse}

‘Dear Sigurd... and Diadora as well,

I know I’ve made far too many mistakes, and I can’t ask that you forgive me. Your son has grown up without the two of you and thus has been deprived of far too many things.

I couldn’t tell you that day... and instead I killed you. My life was miserable, and I knew I had to act quickly, but that doesn’t excuse my actions. I realized everything too late, and by then, Sigurd, you were gone. It was only after those events that I realized you may have been the one who could have helped me. Had I asked for your assistance, I know you would have helped me. I also know how you cherished that Silver Sword that was given to me to give to you by His Majesty. Did you know, that all the way to the end, His Majesty believed in you? Even though I, who stayed at his side and protected him to the end of his life, insisted so intently for the sake of a plan that you were a traitor, he believed none of it. There was never a chance that you would be condemned by him as a traitor from the very beginning.

You have the right to be mad. Diadora, I suppose you do as well. You wished for a chance to speak with Sigurd, when all I had you there for was to confirm my own suspicions. I... used you, in a way. Then I sent you back to the castle when I was sure of my own concerns, and gave no thought to you. At the time, all I could think of was my own pain. Everything happening was all too much for me at once, and I couldn’t calm down long enough to think about ways out of my problems. I hurt you both, and I’m sorry I’ve realized it all too late.

Diadora, I’m sorry I couldn’t protect our son. Had I kept Manfloy away from him, or even killed that man at any chance I could have possibly had, the world wouldn’t have to suffer like this. Until I die, I will continue to take the fall for our son, and let myself be seen as the villain in hopes I can save his name.

When the time comes, I will see to it that the Tyrfing reaches Celice’s hands. I have guarded it all these years, perhaps as a way to repent when your son was old enough to use it. He is surely after revenge, and I don’t blame him for that.

Perhaps Azel was right to stay away from me. There have been times in the past that I couldn’t control my anger, and I’ve scared him many times. I’m glad to know he was safe around you, Sigurd, and most importantly, happy. Even if I wished that he was by my side, his happiness was more important than that. I still can’t believe I thanked you for all you did for him by ending your life... and with him right there, no less.

Perhaps all of these words mean nothing. What’s done is done, and lives have been destroyed. Time keeps flowing, and as it does, I only further wish I could go back and redo the things that happened that day. Not just your son, but you, Sigurd, were a beacon of hope for the people around you. You should have also been that beacon for myself, but I pushed you away.

I know words cannot ever make up these errors, but I am truly sorry. I will live and fight for as long as I can, and protect the people of Jugdral as best I can. I won’t give in to the past if it means I can save many more lives. I believe that is what you would both want, and it is my wish to free these people from discrimination and oppression. As Emperor, that is my role.

Someday, I hope to meet you both again in death. In a place where we can finally be at peace and let our troubles die with us. With your graves beside each other, I hope you have both found peace faster than I have. I’ll join you once Celice is old enough and strong enough to care for these lands in my place.

Even if this apology is hollow to you now, and the word alone is not enough to express the truth of what I feel, I am... sorry.

-- Alvis.’

Would he be forgiven? If only he could have another life to make up for everything. Surely, that wasn’t possible.

The day before his encounter with Celice at Chalphy, the letter was moved and placed in a flower pot, surrounded by brightly colored flowers that it rested between to accompany it and left between the two graves that laid beside each other.

‘Rest well. I’ll be with you soon, my friends.’

#{Alvis Muse}#{I did not mean to make an OST joke with Flowing of Time I really didn't}#{I also didn't mean the fire kind of beacon I SWEAR I DID NOT MEAN THAT /THIS/ TIME}

{OTL I am sorry I’ve been inactive here. I kinda didn’t want to spam this blog with just Alvis threads and other things which is what was happening. Hopefully I’ll get back into my muses soon enough. ;o;}

#{OOC}

hymdall

Sigurd: hoe don’t do it

Alvis: -Falaflame-

Sigurd: oH MY GOD

#{Ah yes the better things in life...}#{Alvis}

You take the

BREATH RIGHT OUT OF ME

YOU LEFT A HOLE WHERE MY HEART SHOULD BE

You’ve gotta

FIGHT

just to make it through

CAUSE I WILL BE THE DEATH OF YOU.

#{Reflections}#{Alvis}#{Ha ha ha O W.}#{And that ladies and gentleman was the day Sigurd became ash}

bonnieternal

#{Reflections}#{Alvis}#{Pelleas}#{Lex}

nephenees-lance

Alvis will always be my favorite FE character, screw what the haters think. I feel as if he was born and raised as a normal person he would have turned out different.

#{Alvis}#{Holy fucking hell yes tho thANK YOU}#{I swear people who hate him just}#{ignore almost all of his dialogue}#{and just focus on when he killed Sigurd}#{That wasn't his best moment in the world no}#{but the Tyrfing never would have reached Celice's hands if not for him}#{He did so much for other people who didn't even have anything to do with him}#{Alvis deserved so much better and it's Manfloy's fault entirely that his life was shit}

inescapablefates

Too stunned to say a word or to snap out of it, he stared at his brother in shock, trying to process what he just did. He…saved him? Now he really didn’t understand anything that was going on at all. “…Why…did you save your enemy…from an attack you ordered? You’re the enemy…”

It didn’t make sense. None of it did. Alvis had been kind to Sigurd all of those years, even was his friend that Sigurd could trust in when things went terribly wrong. So why did he turn around all of a sudden to execute him on the spot as soon he arrived to see their king? Wasn’t Alvis on Sigurd’s side…? Or even on King Azmur’s side? “Why did you save me, but not the others…? Are you going to just let my friends get burned and die? But not me?!”

As much as confusion was hurting his head, there was something of a negative feeling stirring in him. How can his brother wish he should have kept Azel out of this from the very beginning? Was this going to happen anyway, even if he did that? The mage didn’t like this one bit. He wasn’t liking what he was hearing. It only upset him further. Although his body had started to tremble, the youngster didn’t waver in how he felt through all of it.

"Are you even my brother anymore…? My brother wouldn’t keep me from pursuing happiness with others… At least I had thought so..," he couldn’t be sure of how Alvis perceived him wanting to live out his own life. Even if it meant to be with the people who turned to be his enemies. "I was glad I stuck with Sigurd and his army. We became a family, and now we even have families of our own! I even have mine! And…you’re that willing to rip our futures away from us?! You’re going to take away my future away with theirs until it’s empty because they’re gone?!” It hurt to see the army suffer when the grave news reached them about Eltshan having been executed. As soon the news had reached them about Diadora’s kidnapping, Sigurd grieved and blamed it on himself to almost no end, swore on his life to meet his wife again, to take her back, and to protect her, and she had been by his brother’s side all along acting like she completely forgot about him. Azel couldn’t even begin to imagine how he felt when their own lover was by another man’s side instead as his wife, and having not been recognized upon meeting again. It hurt when Cuan and Ethlin were slaughtered along with the troops in the Yied Desert, and their oldest child went unknown of her whereabouts. Their kids would never know their parents growing up now. It felt like the world just blew up and there was no way to stop it. It seemed to have reached Sigurd now like a chain reaction, and the rest of them were to follow to their doom along with the supposed liberation hero?

"You gave Sigurd that Silver sword out of generosity… He was so thankful to you. When all hope seemed to have died when he got branded as a traitor, felt like he was unable to do a thing that his father was getting targeted as the murderer behind Prince Kurth’s death, he heard that you weren’t a part of the accusing party, and he believed in you. You were the only person left besides King Azmur he believed in who could help clear his father’s name…" Forcing himself to hold back the overwhelming tears, he closed his eyes for a moment until he heard a shrieking scream that sounded like one of his comrades. He snapped his eyes open, fear ran his body cold. The other’s words echoed in his mind, that he was on a battlefield.

All of his comrades were getting killed while he was standing there and yelling at him. That was right… His brother who he was terrified of was the enemy now. He started that fire attack to wipe them out. He wasn’t going to save them. They would be burned to ashes along with their dreams and hopes… The bright futures they tried so hard to make despite the war and hardships to even start a family. “No… I take back what I said. You’re definitely not my brother. He isn’t some merciless man who would rob people’s lives! He would have checked with us about matters on hand. He wouldn’t do something this cruel!”

despairfulhope-blog

"Not... your brother?" Even if the circumstances changed, the people they were didn't. He could tell well that Azel was just the same as before, though he was much more assertive now. Alvis wanted to thank Lex and Sigurd for that, but that couldn't be done anymore. And to think, Sigurd completely trusted him. Originally, he wasn't at all wrong to. It was things got shaky outside the public view that Alvis couldn't even trust himself anymore.

All that time, he'd tried searching for a way out. Over and over, always trying to avoid Manfloy's interference. Likely, that man was afraid of Sigurd's comrades finding out about him and wanted them all disposed of. Of course Alvis didn't want this. Of course he didn't want his brother's friends to suffer. Ever since meeting Diadora, he'd had the slightest hope that maybe things would get better. Still, everything went downhill, and he couldn't shake the memory of Sigurd's last words. He most likely knew her, but Diadora had been found outside the castle with no memory of her past. If they knew each other, she couldn't have told Alvis even if she wanted to.

It was obvious Manfloy had the intention of oppressing the people and reviving the Lopt Empire, but Alvis had no power to stop that. Rather... he should have found a way to get Sigurd's help. If he had told Sigurd, it would have been fine, wouldn't it have? ...No... Manfloy could have easily told the public of Alvis' lineage, and he would have been the one killed. Ever since that man had shown up, everything went right to hell in Alvis' life.

The words Azel spoke repeated in his mind once more, and he hadn't quite realized he was shaken up by them until now. The short silence that had followed probably seemed unlike Alvis to him. There was no stopping his eyes from watering though, and he knew he had to regain his composure. He was about to become the emperor of Grandbell, and he also had the Royal Guard to look after. Crying in the middle of all of this was not befitting of any of his roles now. It was then that he felt a strange anger, one in defense of himself as opposed to his usual concern for his brother.

"Cruel...? What do you know of 'cruel'?!" He'd hid the fact that he had Loptous' blood in his veins just to survive, and he was left with no choice but to listen to that bastard if he didn't want that information leaked. Like anyone else, Alvis wanted to live. Being of only half Velthomer blood and nothing else, Azel could never have known the terror of possessing such hated blood. In the end, what did he even know of Alvis? The older Velthomer could never bring himself to mention it, in fear that Azel would come to hate to him.

Right now, if he could protect Lex and the others, he would. However, he was stuck now, in this impossible situation. It was literally kill or be killed now, and Sigurd was too naive to lead the people as the leader of Grandbell after King Azmur passed away. Alvis needed the people of this land to stay safe, and to lead peaceful lives. He needed to make that happen for as long as he could, until the Lopt Sect tried to take the stage again.

Maybe it was selfish of him to want Azel to live while everyone else died. Yet, he wanted at least something from his life to stay with him. It always seemed that nothing good came from him being alive, and a part of Alvis just wanted to call it all unfair. Instead, he was too stubborn to show that weakness. But was that weakness part of what caused this fight with his brother...? "It makes me wonder, Azel... Have you ever really thought about why? Why I do the things I do instead of an alternative? Did it not cross your mind that I only wished to see you happy with your friends? Or did you think all that time I was sitting behind closed doors plotting murder? Reptor was a foolish, power hungry man that needed to be stopped, and I could not abide by his actions any further. You've been on the run for so long, yet surrounded by smiling faces and pleasant people... yet you claim to know what is cruel and what is not?!"

He paused now, loosening up in his venting. This must have been why Azel was always so afraid of him. In fact, the way the elder redhead saw it now, Azel was a brother unworthy of him to have. "You... will probably go on hating me. I thought I had prepared myself for that when I made my decision, but it seems I didn't give myself enough time. Azel, I know you don't want to die here. That girl you were friends with when you were a child... Is she the one you have your new family with? Take her and go. Flee from here before things get more out of hand. Even if I'm no brother to you, just know the brother you once had loved you dearly. More than anything in this world."

'Because you were all I had all these years.'

#inescapablefates #{Alvis Muse}#{I replied too fast whoops sowwie~}#{Alvis wouldn't let me do anything else until I replied >.> }

[ Alan to Lance B))) ] "I never thought I’d see you in a tux."

Lance smiled at the comment, although a bit shyly. "I never thought I'd be allowed to attend such a formal event from a land not of my origin. It would be ungrateful of me to show up in something less formal, would it not?" If Marcus hadn't insisted on him coming here, he may not have. Yet, at the same time, he could only think during that time how left out he would feel. That wasn't a feeling he wanted, and he was glad to be able to call these people his friends. It felt like he belonged here, and it was the people who around him who made him feel that comfort.

Thankfully, the outfit wasn't even stiff. Though Lance was formal in speech, his way of dressing in casual manner and his appearance were average. He had expected a tight fit for an outfit like this. Pherae's clothing designs were also to his liking. He well felt that he fit in right now, and it was a welcome change to his usual outlook on the topic. In fact, his comrades were probably heaving sighs of relief that he wasn't feeling too awkward about this. It made him briefly wonder if he'd ever bothered Alan talking about that, but he removed the thought from his mind quickly. This wasn't the time or place for that.

"I don't think I'll ever become entirely comfortable in formal attire, but there's no harm in doing so once in a while in such a calm atmosphere. Rather, it's you who I'm surprised about. Someone with such a fiery personality, in a gentleman's clothing? You know, though, it looks oddly fitting."

#xsonata #{Lance Muse}#{Sentence Meme}

Sigurd, you be the match. I'll be the lighter.

#inescapablefates #{You should've known better Kavon but it's too late now}#{Man did you REALLY think me and Alvis would let you two off from the fire jokes so easily}

"You've gone.. completely mad." [ Azel → Alvis ]

"Azel, that’s not…" True? To the eyes of an outsider, who had no idea what was going on, maybe it did look that way. He had just denied Sigurd from seeing the sickly king of Barhara and murdered him, branding him a traitor just as the now deceased Langbart and Reptor had. Granted, Alvis had had enough of those two, and he couldn’t put up with their ways any longer. Yet, that meant the rest fell on him, and it was far too late to take this back. His brother’s view on him was probably that of some heartless monster now. Unfortunately, as it was, the younger sibling already didn’t have much of a good view on him to begin with. Any reputation he may’ve had with Azel was surely beyond ruined now.

But everyone was fighting, and here they were standing. Did Azel simply not believe he could take him in a fight? He could have been running away, but he hadn’t left Alvis’ sight. “Perhaps I have… but I have no other way. I’m sorry you had to see this, but I can’t turn back now. I should have brought you back to Velthomer when I had the chance, and perhaps you would have been spared this horrible sight.” And he did regret it. Leaving him in Sigurd’s army forced Alvis to label even Azel a traitor, as with anyone else in this army. While he could probably kill most of them without a second thought, he would still hesitate to kill Lex or Tiltyu. He knew what those two meant to Azel, and it wasn’t like he disliked Lex. In fact, he was thankful to Lex for always taking care of Azel, even going so far as to turn on his own father to accompany the younger redhead when he’d left Velthomer.

Even with Langbalt and Reptor out of the way, Manfloy was still in the picture. It was true Alvis could never trust Sigurd with the mission he had had, and he’d always seen Sigurd as too naive to handle such important tasks. It caused his enemies to find the perfect time to act, and perhaps it was the man’s own naivete that caused his fate. With Manfloy behind the scenes on top of it all, Alvis had been forced into a difficult situation, and by the time those two fools were dead, it was too late to go back. Sigurd was a traitor… That was the story they’d all told King Azmur.

Despite the issue with Sigurd, there was still one thing Alvis couldn’t overlook. His gaze hadn’t wavered as much as his mind had, and he could see Azel was in danger. He moved quickly, grabbing Azel to pull him out of the way before the attack connected. As soon as Alvis took a step back from his brother when he was sure he was safe for the time being, he had almost completely forgotten about the situation, slipping back into his protective self upon seeing the younger Velthomer so disoriented that he could have been killed. “Be more careful, Azel! You’re on a battlefield. Any enemy would take advantage of someone who is too distracted. You’ll be killed acting like that!” But that was when he realized what was going on again and took a step back from him. Alvis was the only person here who wouldn’t kill Azel. The boy wasn’t safe here, and he needed to find a way to get him out safely. He… had to.

#inescapablefates #{Sentence Meme}#{Alvis angst radar too strong send help}#{Alvis Muse}

DARK RP STARTERS

"You'll be fine."

"I'm afraid it's very fatal."

"These test results..don't make any sense."

"How far can your arm go before it breaks?"

"I'll carve your eyes out with a spoon."

"What does he have that I don't"

"Why did he choose her instead of me?"

"..Why?"

"Make as many stab wounds as you want."

"I am destined as your tool."

"The girl must die."

"The boy must die."

"I want to taste your blood on my lips."

"Where do we go from here?"

"These voices..cease to let me be."

"I..can't stop crying."

"Use me as you will."

"None of it matters now."

"Shadows fallow my every step."

"You've gone..completely mad."

"I'm barking mad."

"Winter is coming."

"I could kill you right now."

"You..You're dead!"

"May the lord have mercy on your soul."

"The mental ward let me out early this year."

"Oh how i miss the voices."

"Everyone is equal when they're dead."

"Cancel Christmas."

"Bring me more war."

"I love war."

"I piss on your traditions."

"I hate your heart."

"I hate your soul."

"I promise, you won't feel a thing."

"Bring her to me."

"Bring him to me."

"A few holes in the head give the madness more space."

"I hate everything about you."

"I will abandon you."

"What is that girl up to?"

"I am stretched on your grave."

"Kill me now.."

"If I fall from the grace of God where no murdered ghost can haunt me.."

"You are one in from the plank, don't make me push you."

"I don't care."

"Leave me behind."

"Everything you've told me was a lie!"

"Everything I've told you was a lie!"

"How could you ever think to leave them behind?"

"Someone should nail your feet to the floor."

"My last breath will be your curse."

"He will KILL you."

"She will KILL you."

"I did noting."

"It was an accident!"

"You've killed your own brother!"

"I want nothing to do with him!"

"How can I possibly trust you?"

"Pathetic."

#{IC Meme}#{I KNOW I HAVE LIKE 592868743 OTHER MEME ASKS I'M SORRY}#{I'LL GET TO EVERYTHING BUT I JUST HAD A THREAD IDEA WITH SOMEONE}#{Specify Muse}

thebugvolt

If you hurt my brother there is a 100% chance I will come to your house and kill you.

#{Reflections}#{Alvis}#{T.B.H.}

reinaire

#{Reflections}#{Abel}#{Alvis}#{Wolf}#{Inigo}#{Reiva}

{Possibly a blog update:

May be moving Alvis to his own blog. He's kinda taking over this blog which tells me he's getting more interaction than the others. Granted, that's partly my fault, but that means my muse for him is stronger than the others. By my posts, it probably looks like less than what he really has. I have several drafts for him and replies I'm waiting on for him, and those drafts include asks. If he's getting too much attention on a multi-muse blog, he probably needs his own blog.

If I do end up giving him his own blog, I'll be moving everything for him to the new blog and will update this blog with the information.

I'm still not too sure about it because I seriously do have too many blogs and like 90+ percent are Jugdral but I really fucking adore Alvis. If he gets his own blog, I'm going to be putting my damn soul into it like I've been doing for Yurius and Leaf. Having a muse doesn't always ensure I'll go miles for them, but Alvis is one of those characters I could think of forever and just not get bored of. And my heart will never not be torn by his life you can't change my mind that's it I'm done.

So yeah, I'd say it's a fifty fifty shot right now on him getting his own blog. Since I may very well be purchasing the FE4 manga very soon, that'll... probably... bring that percent up. -cries intense tears-

Edit: I may or may not have just reserved a URL for him just. In. Case.}}

#{OOC}#{Tbh I was worried this would happen when I put him on this blog but hhh}#{There is no character in FE history that can break my heart like Alvis can}

serafukusmash-deactivated201601

I made it trasparent: original can be found at serenes forest.

#{Lex}#Azel

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