𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘸

jhjghjghjg

[destructivcs]

calebfms​:

( closed starter for @destructivcs )

@𝒚𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒊𝒄𝒂𝒍𝒆𝒃: youtube recommended me a banks video today @𝒚𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒊𝒄𝒂𝒍𝒆𝒃: you were on the thumbnail  @𝒚𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒊𝒄𝒂𝒍𝒆𝒃: and i just thought ‘yo who is this handsome man’ 

@𝐥𝐮𝐜𝐚𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐞: youtube did ?? thats fucking mad bro @𝐥𝐮𝐜𝐚𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐞: they keep putting me on the thumbnail i know why, so sketchy @𝐥𝐮𝐜𝐚𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐞: wher e u at? 

[destructivcs]

savannhs​:

shades of orange seep into her once-darkened room, their brightness a rather vivid reminder of her forgetfulness in shutting the blinds before bed— a nightly occurrence, so it seems, as she doesn’t so much as flinch when the otherwise scathing light forces her awake. she’s grown accustomed to barely sleeping a wink these past few days, the other evening’s events amounting to bouts of insomnia that run well throughout the night, fearful of rest in the event that the worst case scenario were to happen while she wasn’t around. a quick check of her phone confirms what she’s suspected from the waking sunlight, responding with a deep sigh when she realizes that it’s barely the crack of dawn. after a few minutes of shuffling around under the covers in search of that perfect spot to fall back asleep, she resigns to keeping herself up, sleep evading her further at the sound of three scattered knocks on her door.

“ i’ll be right there! “ her feet clumsily slide into her slippers, startled slightly by the idea that someone other than her is up at this ungodly hour— something that she figures usually isn’t the case for the people in the house, seeing that she’s seen her fair share of residents and guests alike being dragged back into the bedrooms at this time. throwing on a robe that had previously been flung across her bed, she feels the need to spare the person on the other side of the wall the visual of her cheesy oversized t-shirt and shorts— irrational, perhaps, especially when the opening of her door reveals that it’s just luca standing there. but it’s not just him, it could never be just him, not when he’s the one person she’s been anxious to see, excitement now mixed with dread as a result of that night. she’s faced with the urge to just swing her arms around him and sob at the relief of seeing him alive, but she resists, her face instead settling into a stoic expression as she eyes him carefully, trying to notice any signs that she stupidly missed earlier the last time she was with him. “ are those for me? “ her gaze drops towards the vase of roses in his hand, voice completely still despite wanting to laugh at the effort.

          the sound of her voice brings a wavering smile across his lips but it doesn’t last long. he isn’t nervous to see her , he barely got nervous anymore - but he did feel uneasy about how she would react to him being there right now. even though they did live in the same house. the smile returns to his lips when he spots the robe thrown over the makeshift pyjamas she usually wore and he feels sentimental for a time he would never get back. 

while he didn’t look amazing , the bags under his eyes darker than ever and his usually olive toned skin was pale - but this was his third sober day and he told himself when he made it that far he would go and see her, so here he was. he nods his head, holding the vase out to her with a tight smile. “ yeah they are..” he looks down at her , his spare arm crossing over the other and he gulps back his words. “ i just came to say hi and to say that i love you. “ the words escape and the tight smile returns, his hand moving to brush his hair out of his face but it only makes the hair fall more in his face. “ can i come in ? i just wanna lay with you for a bit.. just..” he wants to tell her he’d been sober, but he doesn’t want to bring it up, so he sets the roses down on the table by the door and steps forward to her, holding his hands out to her. “ i didn’t mean to.... hurt you. forgive me ? “ 

[destructivcs]

@savannhs​

sav is the same as him , but more fucking perfect actually. she's not the same is me at all, he thinks, scrunching up the paper he’d been writing lyrics on, they just weren’t making sense. he doesn’t know where to begin, what to do to make it better, the right words to use. the last luca saw her at the concert, he had stormed off in a panicked, high state. he had woken up the next morning, remembered that he had to pay for her to get home only because his manager called him when he was passed out after taking more drugs when she left, and he paid without a word to his ex. his ex, whom he still loved of course. that was the last he had seen or heard of her. he  had arrived back home two days ago, and basically locked himself up in his room ever since.

his features were obviously withdrawn, his eyes tired, face pale and his mind not present not at all. he thought about sav every spare moment he wasn’t sleeping it off, he missed everything about her. he couldn't get rid of the nagging feeling that it fucked everything up, and he needed to change that.  it was early in the morning, about 6 am, and that he wasn't sure if anyone else had even woken up. he was awake. he was awake most days this early, coming down from whatever he’d taken the night before, but he hadn’t taken anything last night. or the night before. he goes to reach for his phone to try and text her, the vase holding a bouquet of red roses which looked sad in his dark room staring at him like he was useless.

 it feels like a text won't suffice, not after what he done. he pulls on his sweatpants, throws on a hoodie, grabs the vase with the flowers and puts a cd into his pocket. he is glad she doesn’t have a room so close to his, but once long ago, I didn't really make a difference. they shared a bed, they shared everything and if they had secrets, they shared that too. well, mostly. his feet tread across the carpet making his way towards her room and he doesn't even get his mind a chance to reconsider before is knocking on her door with his spare hand, one two three. 

[lulithre]

[destructivcs]

kishssn​:

kish  hadn’t  really  expected  to  see  anyone  around  the  house  as  it  was  the  weekend  and  people  were  usually  out  and  about.  so  when  she  heard  luca’s  voice  pop  in  the  living  room,  it  was  safe  to  say  she  was  a  little  startled.            “luca,  don’t  do  that!”            dainty  hand  flings  to  her  chest,  her  heart  beating  wildly  in  surprise.            “what  are  you  doing  home?”            she’d  have  expected  him  to  be  out  day  drinking  with  people,  but  it  seemed  the  male  preferred  his  own  company  today.  eyeing  the  beer  in  his  hand,  she  had  to  say  it  was  difficult  to  refuse.  movie  by  herself  or  playing  around  and  possibly  making  a  new  hit  with  luca?  it  was  an  easy  choice.            “yeah,  why  not.  i  don’t  even  know  what’s  going  on  in  this  movie  if  i’m  honest.”            she  ultimately  shrugs,  shutting  off  the  tv  before  taking  the  beer  from  him.            “what’s  this  one  about?”

          he  had  been  invited  out  with  a  bunch  of  people  ,  mostly  other  musicians  around  town  he’d  been  partying  with  ,  but  he’d  been  feeling  too  shitty  to  even  wake  up  before  noon  lately.  “  don’t  do  what  ?  “  he  raises  his  eyebrows  ,  holding  his  hands  up  in  a  shrug.  “  i’m  relaxing  what  are  you  doing  here  ?”  he  sips  on  his  beer  ,  “  handing  her  the  scrunched  up  paper  with  various  lyrics  here  and  there  ,  an  incomplete  song.  “  heartbreak  and  letting  people  down.  “  he  is  blunt,  because  if  he  can  be  blunt  with  anyone  ,  it’s  his  band.  “  the  guy  ends  up  single.  “  he  nods  at  the  tv,  referring  to  the  character  on  the  movie  ,  even  if  it  wasn’t  obvious.  

[destructivcs]

savannhs​:

their hands separate from one another as he instead seeks the comfort of his whiskey bottle, a watchful eye carefully following his every movement. she suspects, perhaps correctly, that his eagerness to drink is to make up for the void that exists without coke in his system, and that he’d easily bide his time picking up its contents from the ground had she not been in the room, the one barrier coming in between him and his addiction. a small shudder runs through her spine as he takes her hands in his, curious as to whether the taste of liquid courage has calmed his energy somewhat, ironic as it usually tends to take the opposite route. she takes in the mix of sweat, cologne, and the freshly minted smell of alcohol on his breath as he presses his forehead to hers, trying her best to keep her expression neutral as he inhales. “ always. “ though she’s sure it isn’t his intention to make it seem so, she can’t help but find his comment about always loving her to be a little bittersweet, wondering if this can somehow be construed as some prescient warning of something that’s bound to happen, or if he says this to lessen the blow of what he’s about to reveal to her.

the silence proves to be almost unbearable, her desperation for him to speak up clinging in the air in the way her gaze lingers on him, the look on her face all but saying ‘ well? ‘. a brief frown makes its way onto her already strained features as he deflects, frustration brewing as he tries to pass it off as no big deal, despite the conversation they’d been having obviously proving otherwise. his continued promises do no favors, knowing well enough that words can be empty, especially coming from someone who she fears might be too invested in his dependency to know right from wrong. even when he begins to open up, his prolonged hesitation to actually get to the point unnerves her more, but she doesn’t feel any more at peace when he finally tells her what he tried that night— if anything, she feels even more terrified now that everything is revealed to her, the mere mention of the word heroin forcing her to retreat to the couch, nauseated by what she’s hearing. “ you tried what? “ she speaks up after what seems like hours of silence on her part, mouth dry from its lack of use— so much so that her voice finally cracks after all the buildup, blubbering with the same lack of control seen in a child throwing a tantrum. burying her face in her hands, looking at him directly finally becomes to much to bear, and she’s resorted to communicating with him through covered eyes and muffled sounds. “ you don’t just try heroin, you know … don’t you know how easy it is for people to get addicted to that shit? “ she manages through a bunch of sniffles, not meaning mean to scold him— but her emotions quite clearly get the better of her.

       he can tell she is watching him , even in the blur of his high - maybe she doesn’t trust him - hell , he doesn’t even trust himself right now and that was the scariest part to him. he thought he had this under control , but it was right now that he’d realised he was gripping onto a rug that was being pulled out from underneath him , he just didn’t know it. her ‘always’ sounds pained, or maybe that was just him taking it that way , because he knew she was disappointed. somehow , it still eases him a little to know she will still love him.

     he squeezes his eyes shut as she walks away from him and he doesn’t look at her , feeling like he’d been punched in the gut when she questions , obviously shocked. what did he expect? “ sav..” he murmurs , his voice rough and rocky from holding his breath in, and because he hadn’t slept properly in at least three days, ironically, since he’d tried it. he only opens his eyes again and looks over at her when he hears her voice crack , knowing all too well that she was crying and he heads to her side, the glass crackling under his boots as he goes to kneel down in front of her, his inked hand lifting her chin gently to face him as he looks up at her. “ listen to me..” he sighs , his eyes red from holding everything in - the sight of the woman he was in love with like this, because of him , it broke him. “ i’m promising you now.. i’m not gonna touch it again. it wasn’t even good. “ he tacks on the last bit, a lie , but it was believable enough to attempt to ease her with it. he doesn’t want to lie , but he hates seeing her like this. “ let me take you home? “ he reaches for her hand, squeezing it as he tries to intertwine their fingers again. “ it’s not that bad.. i mean , i’m not that bad... i can quit it all still. i will, for you , if you want me to... it’s just the music scene they all... they all do it. “ he is very well aware he is making excuses, so he bites his tongue , tired and dark doe-eyes begging up at her. “ i didn’t mean to let you down. “

[usercatra]

[destructivcs]

savannhs​:

a soothing yet unsteady hand monitors his labored breathing as it begins to slow, the first sign that he is finally able to calm himself down. “ it’s not just about me, luca. whatever just went down … that’s not you, “ her voice falters, mind still incredulous to the fact that this is their reality now, an initially perfect night reduced to the both of them emotionally in shambles. to her relief, he refuses to skirt around the subject, though of course, actually addressing the subject matter grants her no satisfaction. it’s hard for her to breathe when every gust of air seems to get trapped in her throat, feeling constricted by the pain that this moment provides her. but she can only imagine how much worse it is for him, a presence so much larger than life dwindled into an emotional wreck, completely strung out under the grasp of her palm. 

“ oh, “ she answers breathlessly, winded by the overwhelmingness of this situation— and literally, of course, by the way her breath remains hitched in the back of her mouth. weirdly enough, she doesn’t seem as phased by his latest revelation, the majority of her energy being wasted on the shock of seeing the now-infamous bag of powder. but the news still reaches her with a pang in the stomach, her hand retreating when he starts to tower over her again. simply nodding at his promise, she fights the urge to tell him that it doesn’t work like that, that a 3-month habit can’t be kicked to the curb as easily as he insists. but there’s no room for any more pain tonight, so she settles for giving him the last word, silent heartbreak creeping onto her face at his question. “ of course, i still love you … that will never change, “ seeing his hands attempt to reach her, she makes the move to lace their fingers together, the sweatiness of their palms yet another tangible reminder that this is real— far too real. despite her not wanting to provoke him further, curiosity continues to nag at her, though again, it’s more in the sense of needing to know than wanting to. “ what did you try the other night? “

      “ i know it’s not.. i.. fuck,” he shakes his head, swallowing back and closing his eyes because she was telling the truth, they both knew it. he didn’t get that pissed off over nothing, and he was in fact, pissed off over nothing. 

he doesn’t look at her, pained enough by the ‘oh’ of a response from her because he can’t tell what is worse, her lack of surprise or doubt at the fact that he had tried more than what was on the floor. he is glad she doesn’t accept his promise, one that, at this stage he isn’t sure he can keep. he spots the whiskey he was looking for before and keeps the bag out of his vision because thats what he did want to reach for. long arm extends for the bottle, taking the cap off and sipping it before setting it back down. using it to calm himself down, or to try to. he hates that he has caused the sadness on her features, and his own reflects the same look and his eyes sting a little. “ really, never? “ he murmurs, squeezing her hands and leaning his forehead down to hers gently as he inhales sharply. “ i’ll always love you. “

     he is silent, for way longer than normal when she asks the question he thought he might have avoided, one that was sure to not go down well when he responded, even if he thought he was handling the situation well. “ does it really matter?” he asks, leaning back and reaching for the whiskey again, not opening it but leaving it in his hand. he gulps back the air he couldn’t swallow and looks away from her, “ i’m not doing it again, none of it.” he knows her well, and he knows her well enough to know she won’t let it drop now he’d mentioned it. “ i smoked some..” he shrugs, opening the whiskey and taking a gulp before setting it down again and it goes toppling down on the table from clumsiness or lack of perception. “ some of the guys in this other band, they had heroin i guess so i did... “ he looks at her, but not in the eye. “ i tried that.” 

[destructivcs]

❛ ✶ ( JACOB ELORDI , CISMALE , HE/HIM )  —  did you see LUCA FIORE around the house this morning ? i've heard some things about the TWENTY-TWO year old MUSICIAN . from what i know , they are worth 6 MILLION . they have been living in the house for TWO YEARS & they come across as + CHARMING but also - BROODING , which makes sense because on their instagram ( @lucafire ) it says they are a LEO . i usually hear PERTH by BON IVER playing from their bedroom. they remind me of arms covered in tattoos , bandaids on knuckles , broken guitar strings , knowing smirks and cigarette butts . ✶

details

full name. luca alexander fiore occupation. musician, soon to be lead and guitarist for banks date of birth / age. july 29th, 1998 orientation. heterosexual aesthetics. a permanently stressed facial expression , blunt pencils ,  duffel bags filled with gym gear and music gear , stick and poke tattoos from a drunken night , half empty cartons of cigarettes , high test scores and tired eyes

pinterest board here ( probably some nsfw up in here so be careful ig )

basically luca is constantly torn between the people he wants to be bc he is tryin his very hardest to be a good guy but honestly so much keeps getting in the way of that 

he was raised in a less than wealthy family in north carolina who had him really young by accident, and then they decided it was a good idea to have more kids, bc of this he was kinda unlucky with a lot of things growing up , he doesn’t voice it because his parents ‘did the best that they could’ but also 'don’t want him to make the same mistakes they did . ‘ so he was always pushed to do well.

just wanted to do music and to write songs, he has the weight of needing to make something for himself so that he can make his family proud of him, even though they seem too tired to care when he actually makes progress ?? so he has a lot of pent up frustration but continues to push himself. 

is currently in a band called ‘banks’ with a few other musicians and they are actually??? doing pretty heckin well, selling out arena shows etc. he is about to replace the lead musician too so that’s bound to cause a shit storm

a leo, but not a typical one. a 'july leo’ if you will, he is full of energy and is caring as hell but also isn’t down for people ignoring him or pushing him aside and his pride is very real when it comes to what he has achieved for himself. has a lil bit of a temper to be honest.

( abadonment tw ) something he is ashamed of ??? he has a two year old daughter, named charlotte, but he hasn’t met her yet. he freaked out , wasn’t ready to be a dad, and fled north carolina to be a musician and pretend like it didn’t happen. that’s gonna change tho !!!

a little bit chaotic, covered neck to toe in tattoos and is 6′5 so basically a giant. getting a little too mixed up w dr*gs at the moment so stay tuned. yikes. 

[destructivcs]

savannhs​:

she watches his smile fade at her question, undoubtedly sure that she’s ruined whatever remains of their happy mood— but the need to know gnaws at her, the feeling akin to the anxiety of seeing a bad test grade. his answer is the thing she dreads more than anything in the world, but she craves the closure, the opportunity to at least accept what’s gotten in him since their breakup. but acceptance doesn’t come as easily as she hopes when he all but confirms that the bag is indeed his, guilt seeming to radiate throughout the room as they both just stand there for a moment. nearly jumping out of her skin when he finally reacts, a response to him being caught red-handed coming in the form of a raised voice and smashed glass, her teeth delve into her bottom lip to stop it from trembling, flirting with the idea of getting out of here and leaving him to deal with his own mess. 

but she doesn’t, instead following him to the table and running a hand along his back as he stands hunched over, unsure of how to verbally respond to the tumultuous scene that just preceded this. “ it’s okay, “ she finally answers, though they both know it isn’t— that it is so unlike him to act out so rashly, that this is a sign that he might be caught in too deep. heaving out a deep breath at his timeline, her eyes look upwards at the ceiling instead of in his direction, her attempt at protecting him from the sight of her almost in tears. her stare zeroes in on him immediately after he turns away, though it’s almost too painful to look at him now, suddenly so far removed from the man she envisioned spending the rest of her life with. “ is it just that? the coke, i mean. “ she breaks the silence that resonates for a few moments after his apology, tracing lines against his skin in an effort to ease her nerves as she awaits his answer.

                 the  worst  part,  is  that  he  doesn’t  even  recognise  that  this  isn’t  himself  right  not.  sure  he  had  a  horrendous  temper  he  inherited  from  his  dad,  but  it  wasn’t  like  this.  it  was  more  flipping  the  bird  and  speeding  past  people  in  traffic  or  slamming  doors,  it  wasn’t  outbursts  like  this  and  his  hands  shook  and  his  heart  raced  and  he  couldn’t  breathe.  “  i  didn’t...  i  didn’t  mean  to  scare  you.  “  he  closes  his  eyes  tight,  willing  this  situation  away  like  a  bad  dream  but  it  stays  the  same,  her  had  soft  on  his  skin  in  a  way  he  didn’t  seem  to  deserve.  he’d  flown  her  out  here  for  a  show  and  it  ended  like  this.  he  felt  out  of  control  but  he  wasn’t  sure  how  to  reel  himself  back  in.

“  is  it?  “  he  questions,  glad  his  back  is  still  to  her  because  he  can’t  face  her  right  now,  the  silence  between  them  painful  enough.  he  was  used  to  showering  her  with  love  and  now  he  was  trying  to  keep  his  eyes  open  and  his  body  stable.  he  shakes  his  head  at  her  question  before  he  gets  a  chance  to  consider  it  and  he  shakes  his  head  again.  “  no.  “  standing  up  straight  he  now  towers  over  her,  his  hand  lazy  as  he  takes  the  shirt  from  her  gently  and  pulls  it  over  his  head,  his  eyes  glazed  over  and  wide  at  the  same  time.  “  i  tried  something  else  the  other  night....  but  it  was  just  a  one  time  thing.  after  tonight  i’m  sober.  i  promise...  nothing  comes  with  me  back  to  the  house...“ he looks down at her, trying to take her hands. “ do you love me, still?” 

[destructivcs]

@kishssn​ closed starter 

“  don’t  tell  me  you’re  slackin’  now  just  ‘cause  we’re  home?”  his  southern  accent  peaks  a  little,  mostly  because  he  was  a  few  beers  deep  and  he  saw  kish  watching  a  movie  and  decided  to  ruin  the  peace.  “  i  wrote  a  song,  wanna  come  play  some  and  see  how  it  sounds?  this  movie  is  bad  anyway.  “  he  jokes,  holding  out  a  beer  for  her.  

[destructivcs]

savannhs​:

“ i’m sorry, “ she cowers a little at his sudden change of tone, the conviction in her words wavering as her voice fades again to merely a soft mutter. she gets the briefest glimpse of his frustration, though she knows him well enough to know that he wouldn’t act out over being told no— or at least she thinks she does. thankfully, he reacts just as she suspected, though she senses that he feels a little withdrawn now. but perhaps it’s all in her head, not getting much peace of mind as his eyes peel away from her. “ we don’t have to leave just yet … i didn’t mean to— “ she’s cut short by the sight of a plastic bag falling from his jeans pocket, her brows knitting in a short split of confusion before she realizes that her worst fears are confirmed. she doesn’t yet raise the subject, distracted by the fact that he seems completely oblivious to the bag having fallen out, as well as tasked with finding his missing t-shirt.

“ babe, it’s right there, “ tongue recounting that all too familiar nickname for him, her eyes cast towards the spot that they had previously been sitting on, his tee lazily thrown on top of the couch’s arm. she makes her way over to the fabric, all the while dwelling over the right way to bring up the fact that she knows about the coke, though she realizes there’s not exactly a right time to mention it, and any time would uncomfortable for them regardless. “ so, how long have you been using? “ she heads straight to the point, shirt dangling in one hand while the other points towards the bag that has, up until now, been left deserted on the ground.

        he bites his tongue because he can see she recognises the change in his tone he didn’t mean to have and he hates that she had to apologise for that, it sends his heart beating way more than before and his palms are sweaty. he can’t find his shirt and he just wants to get out of there. “ it’s fine sav. stop stressing. “ he exhales, realising she didn’t finish the sentence but he is distracted by the room and the effects of his high wearing off. usually he had no issue fixing that, but she was here with him now and he couldn’t, so he was getting more angsty about it. “ huh ?” 

      the nickname rings in his ears sending his mind into a dizzying frenzy of her and how they used to be and his nose feels sharp inside like he might just cry. he doesn’t, he doesn’t do that. he looks where she is pointing and watches her go to grab it, letting a sigh leave his lips as he smiles a little, “ thanks baby. “ he goes to take it from her before her words hit him like a rock and his stomach drops, following her hand pointed to the floor and he feels like he might just be sick. he’d let her down, there was nothing perfect about this night anymore and it was all because he’d decided to do this but his mind couldn’t think of much else. “ fuck. “ his voice raises a little, and he takes the glass nearest to him, smashing it on the floor on the opposite side of the room to her before he sinks back against the table.

    “ i’m so .. sorry. “ it takes him a moment to breathe, to realise his temper around her was not something she’d seen and he buries his head in his hands for a second or two, looking up at her eventually and his eyes ache a little and his hands shake some more. he shakes his head, realising he never answered. “ since middle of tour.. three months.” the words hurt, so he doesn’t look at her anymore. “fuck... sav, i’m sorry. “ 

[destructivcs]

savannhs​:

she mutters a hushed “uh huh” against his lips as they continue this little endeavor, lips entangled in an affair that lasts as long as their breaths can allow it, only coming up for air and of course, for the occasional comment of how much they craved this— needed this from each other more than anything else at the moment … or perhaps, ever. sure, she’s entertained the idea of trying things with a person or two in a vain attempt to replicate this feeling with him, but all efforts seem to yield the same outcome, disappointment overwhelming her when she realizes that no one could hold a candle to how he knows her like the back of his hand, how it seems that every quirk, every flaw, every square inch of hers seems to be co-opted as his own, and most annoyingly, how he hasn’t left her mind. her legs splay out around him, essentially sandwiching him so that she could straddle him better, chills raising from the spot on her back that his hand runs over. her breath resembles somewhat of a soft purr as he vocalizes his need for her body, a similar sentiment in her mind that hasn’t been voiced as boldly as he has. but her will to continue diminishes slightly when she figures that his eagerness is at least partially spurred on by his lingering high— not that she has any hard evidence to back this up, save for the doe-eyed expression that has practically been fixed on his face since the beginning of their meetup, but as his head lazes against her chest, she mulls over whether he is in the right headspace for this, wanting to spare him from a careless and completely idiotic decision. “ luca, “ she speaks his name a third time, now in a whisper as her thumb swipes the bare crook of his neck, as if to motion him to bring his face back to her view. “ i need to know if you’re really up for this, “ murmuring in almost a beg, she’s clearly at the risk of sounding like an absolute buzzkill, something she tries to soothe as her hands trail past his upper body. she chooses her words carefully, not wanting to potentially antagonize him over something that hasn’t even been confirmed to her yet— only the most delicate words for a delicate situation. “ it has been a long night, you know. “

            his hand comes behind him to brush over her leg gently, wrapping it more around him before he is leaning them forward and picking her up in his arms, his lips finding hers as he walks, knocking over a guitar stand or two as he moves toward the table, setting her down on it because he couldn’t stay seated for much longer with all of his energy, and he feels a lot more there when he stands up, his hands on the sides of her hips as he lets their lips part again, leaning back as she speaks his name, looking down at her as she requests, if not only through her touch he knew well enough. 

      “ why are you saying it like that? you need to know? “ his tone is a little frustrated, but not on purpose. he pulls back from her, his hands on the table instead of her as he looks around the room. “ if you don’t wanna do anything... it’s fine. “ he muses , genuine, but he still has concern all over his features as he searches for the bottle of whiskey he’d left behind and doesn’t meet her gaze. “ you’re right..” he notes within a sigh, not finding the bottle so he focuses on her again and eyes meet hers. “ i can take you home.. or to your hotel, i mean. “ he reaches into his pocket for his keys, the stacks of metal eventually pulling out of his pocket, along with a small bag of something , but of course , he hadn’t noticed. “ i’m sorry i... misjudged. “ he refers to the situation and searches for his tshirt he’d thrown off before. “ can you see my shirt, bub? “ he speaks with habit , still calling her names even after they had broken up. some things just stuck. 

[destructivcs]

dyltms​:

“ you should get some rest, luc. “ she advises passingly as a pink-inked pen glides through the lines of the page, filling out “big brother comes back” for two days from now. “ we can’t have the rockstar passing out on us before he even gets back home, “ there’s a teasing lilt in her voice when she calls him by the unmentionable word once more, a light laugh leaving her lips as she does so. shrugging when he jokes about her pitiful lack of perception, she can’t help but laugh again when she realizes he can’t see her initial reaction. “ well, the pool guy keeps asking me where the super tall guy is … but i know that’s not who you’re concerned about, hm? “ she questions just for the sake of ribbing him, the answer to that question being blaringly obvious to her. “ you didn’t hear it from me, but— “ she pauses with the same effect of a hand clasping over her mouth, preventing herself from being inserted into his affairs. “ nevermind, let me not gossip! besides trying to keep my mouth shut, i’m just laying here … you know, doing absolutely nothing. kinda like always. “

      “ i know.. “ he sighs and it almost sounds despondent the way the words come out because he already knows if he lays down he won’t sleep and it’s not because he isn’t tired. he laughs a little more at the second use of the word , wholeheartedly not believing he was a rockstar even despite the sold out shows. “ real funny. i’ll be home and i’ll pass out there and become your issue.” he shrugs, even if she can’t see. he doesn’t respond about the pool guy with anything but silence because he has caught onto the idea of sav and he can’t let it go. “ is she.. with someone else. doing okay? “ he frowns, inhaling sharply, “ dyl you can’t just say that and not continue, the fuck? “ he gets up from his seat to pace around the room a little, his leather jacket squeaking a little so he throws it on the couch. “ well what have you done this week ? “ 

[destructivcs]

savannhs​:

her tongue laps over her lower lip as she awaits a full response again, but he again stops short, perhaps hesitant to ruin the mood or figuring that whatever he has to say isn’t important enough for their conversation. his mulling buys her the ability to scan his face, her loving gaze suddenly awash with concern as she notices that his pupils are dilated—something that cannot be merely chalked up to the rush of the show. “ hm, “ she easily masquerades her fallen stare with a soft smile, trying her best to pay attention to his attempt at appearing sober, but her mind can’t help but to wander. what was he taking? was he freshly under the influence— or even worse, did he do the entire show on drugs? was this just a one-time thing? these questions flood her brain, wracked at how someone as relatively restrained as him managed to wind up in that scene— of course, weed and the occasional bag of coke was par for the course in this type of environment, but she could’ve sworn that the band was different. that he was different. 

she’s distracted when his lips briefly tangle with hers, hands catching the nape of his neck as she leans into him just shortly before he breaks away. “ i love you, too. a lot. “ her words are paired with an involuntary giggle, voice lowered to a whisper as if this were some secret contained between just themselves— which in a way, it was. not that their love is something for her to be ashamed of (far from that), but there’s no denying the uneasiness that comes with your private life being on display for everyone to judge. their lips grazing for longer this time around, she eases at the sight of the smirk, though the question of whether it’s his post-show high or the (assumed) coke high that’s making him hot troubles her slightly. she inches backward slightly to give him the space to remove his shirt, before diving right back into the kiss as if this act were second nature (which again, it was). “ are we really doing this again? “ pulling away after what seems like an eternity— yet still too short of a time —pressed against his lips, she badgers him once more, eyes trailing back to his while her fingers gently paw at his skin.

     as usual , luca underestimated how much she knew him. luca pretended he didn’t know her as well as he did because it hurt less, but he wrote songs based on conversations they had years ago and he remembers colours of her dresses from their first date in vivid memories like they were yesterday. he knew the parts of her that didn’t hurt to remember, but she knew him.  he knows this because he doesn’t miss the concern flickering over her features as she looks at him and he feels like he is in school again , sneaking alcohol into his backpack to go to a party. he wants to change the subject to something far away from anything that would let her question his state but he draws a complete blank and is glad he is kissing her now instead. his shaky hands firm on her skin. 

“ a lot huh? aren’t i lucky. “ he muses , his lips turning to a grin quickly as she giggles and he pulls her back in closer to him after he’d removed his shirt and his lips tangle with hers eagerly, like she was a oasis and he’d been in the desert for months, which he basically had. he hadn’t met lips with a single person since he’d seen her last, savouring her kiss like it was rare gold. “we can stop..” he mumurs into the kiss and his hand smoothes up the small of her back, pulling her in closer and his shaking hands fumble with her shirt , arguing with himself whether to remove it or whether he was just too high for this. “ fuck.. “ he whispers, pressing his head to her chest for a moment before leaving a kiss beside the pendant on her necklace. “ i need you.. “ he says it in a way that could be interpreted as anything at this point, and maybe he meant it in every way the word could be taken. he needed her touch , her words , her love , her lust , her. “ please. “ 

[midsommars-deactivated20201109]

Jacob Elordi in Euphoria (2019—)

[destructivcs]

savannhs​:

“ i don’t, either. “ she muses, the last of her laughter trickling past as he agrees with her sentiment, before an almost deflated sigh matches the current mood— the stillness of them sitting together, his head nuzzled in the crook of her neck while her palm continues its effort to calm his adrenaline rush. the energy that wafts through the room is almost peaceful, though the newly looming feeling that there may be something he might be hiding  prevents her from fully enjoying this moment. “ am i not good for you? “ teasing slightly, she’s blissfully ignorant to the idea that he may be alluding to something else, the thought of something more sinister inspiring his unusually candid honesty tonight not crossing her mind. she’s reaching him at eye level before she knows it, the visual of her on his lap a parallel to the many instances in which they were similarly seated. but there’s something different, something much more vulnerable about the way they are tonight, as shown in her eyes when they flicker in nervous anticipation of what’s next in his stream of consciousness, and in the way her fingers move to trace his cheek when she doesn’t yet know how to respond to his revelation. “ luca… “ his name leaves her lips again, though the way in which she enunciates sounds sadder, more painful, than the last time. unsaid words linger in her mind as she recalls what he means by that last sentence, tongue jutting at the inside of her cheek as she tries not to let the memory phase her too much. “ you know i’m still in love with you too, right? “ she finally musters out, her thumb continuing to brush past his face. “ or was that not obvious, either? “

          he shakes his head, his high not really giving way and he both felt like he was on top of the world right now, and like he was on fire. “ not you... i don’t think you’re bad for me. not in the way tha-” he bites his tongue, or presses his lips together to avoid pushing her away with any other revelations right now, but his eyes are wide and frantic enough that if she really looked, she wouldn’t even need a revelation. surely she would understand? everyone did things like this, how else was he supposed to stay awake for all these shows? “ you’re good for me. i promise.”  he smiles to one side. she says his name again but it doesn’t give him the usual goosebumps, instead he gets a lump in his throat and he can’t look at her in the eye. he had brought up the fact that he’d left her so long ago, they had left each other. they had been so in love and one secret tore it apart, and now he had even more. he opens his mouth to speak, his eyes closing as he feels her finger on his face. he focuses on it for a few moments before he leans in and presses his lips to hers gently at first, his hand almost reluctant before he cups the side of her face to hold her close. “ i love you. “ he murmurs against her lips, brushing his thumb over her lower lip before he kisses her again but he doesn’t hold back this time because she told him she loves him and there was nothing that could control the high that came with that. “ is it hot in here? “ he leans back from the kiss a little, a small smirk tugging on his lip and he reaches for the hem of his ripped tshirt and pulls it off over his head, his body genuinely hotter than usual, but he’d just played a show. he returns his lips to hers like they were oxygen, and he couldn’t breathe.