& Broken inside

I am nobody special but that doesn't mean I'm useless. The name's Maxwell Cross and what I do is PROTECT others, no matter the cost. Don't judge this book by it's cover, I may appear to be fourty but my heart still beats wildly in my chest. I've never...

[succubarefemina]

“But how am I supposed to have you over for Christmas drinks? Or get your Christmas present to you?” She passed a smile and winked at him. “Then again, spending winter in bed sounds glorious.”

[detective-cross]

“Contemplating spending the holidays in my bed is what got me through the year in the first place.” Maxwell chimes back sarcastically. “But I guess I could make a special exception for a friend, just promise me no frosty the snowman or christmas music overkill. That’s a better present than anything you could buy.”

[whitewingednoa]

Despite his clear agitation, Noa couldn’t help but give a small smile, not for politeness sake, but just because lack of Christmas cheer was always so amusing to see. Having never really celebrated the holiday, she still just went along with it most of the time, especially since arriving here. “At least bring in some variety, right? I’d hate to be working in a store during this time. They just play the same music over and over again. That’s gotta be some form of torture.”

[detective-cross]

“I’d say the one bright side is the baked goodies and desserts that come with the season, the hot cocoa and snickerdoodles help me retain the little sanity I have left.” He chuckles, knowing that the true reason he didn’t like the chipper holidays was more personal. Yet, it was a good day thus far and there was no reason to bog down the mood by dredging that pain up. “Exactly! I’d rather be on Santa’s naughty list then sit through the annual holiday cheer playlist.”

[iamalexsander-deactivated201603]

[mcavoyjames1-deactivated2015121]

THAT MAN IS NITROGLYCERIN.

[wherearetheadvertisers]

[luthientinuviell-deactivated202]

[succubarefemina]

“Cheer up, grumpy. ‘Tis the season to be jolly.” 

[detective-cross]

“Bah humbug!” Maxwell bits back with a small grin, definitely not good at hiding how happy he was to see his friend. “Tis also the season for hibernation in the animal kingdom -- ‘m thinking of going that route this year.”

[whitewingednoa]

“Jeez, looks like they’re starting early this year.”

[detective-cross]

“Now we’re forced to endure until around Valentines. Sheesh.” The man responds with a grunt of annoyance. It was for these reasons he was reluctant to go to any stores during winter time -- yet it was inevitable. “It’s really amazing how there are 87 different popular covers of the same horribly over-played jingles.”

[detective-cross]

*Aggressively hates Christmas Carols*

[plumspucked]

[babybirdofthesea]

The roughness of pen pressing on paper is the only sound Marina can hear besides the sound in her head. Her eyes never darting away from either the art piece in front of her, or the paper under her pen. Marina wants to be prepared for her audition to Juilliard. Getting that audition after the usual auditions had passed was a huge deal for any musician, and she could not simply go in with one single piece. To use one art form to inspire another art form was different, and she needed different to get into Juilliard. 

[detective-cross]

This excursion to the museum would normally have been last on the list of Maxwell’s leisurely activities, yet he found himself within the quiet walls of the building under the suggestion of his therapist. Expression. One of the detective’s biggest downfalls and his homeowrk of sorts during his visit to the art exhibit. Short , awkward steps were taken toward the Sunflower painting where there was a small blonde girl, writing notes. “Funny isn’t it? How such a simple subject matter can hold so much value and meaning.” 

[detective-cross]

[piret-koiv]

“In the bible?”, Piret asks with narrowed eyes. “Wouldn’t, I don’t know, Google be a more appropriate place to look for answers to burning questions?”. The next moment, she realizes how dumb this has sounded, since she is here as well - it’s just awfully hard to google if you don’t know anymore what words to enter to find out what’s wrong with you in the first place (other than a diagnosis she believes to be true but has never helped her out). She bites her lip as she listens to the man answer, weighing the coins in her hand. That’s exactly what she’s tried to do, keep herself together against the odds of everything wrong with her and the world around her, but of course it hasn’t worked. It’s scary to hear those words from someone else’s mouth, and saying that the man must be ironic would be a lame excuse, it’s scary because Piret has liked to console herself in thinking that she is special with her problems as well, but if others are having the same problem - there must be a solution, right? It’s solutions that are scary. “Yeah, it’s like I can already see the abyss from where I’m standing. And I also think I fell in once already. A long time ago, but it was…” scary. Why can’t she say things out loud anymore when she’s been so good at speaking before? “Would it bother you if we were to pray together? Before I go light my candle? I mean, not loudly or anything, each of us for themselves. But,” she slides into the bench next to the stranger without even asking, “maybe it helps to pray in groups? Not like I would know.” Truth is, she needs another moment to let it sink in that someone else describes their situation in exactly the same terms as Piret herself would. 

[detective-cross]

“As convenient as that would be...” He starts with a playful eyeroll. “I would hardly trust the answers to my internal struggles or my fate to a search engine. Plus I’m old fashioned like that -- nothing quite like physically turning pages to me.” Maxwell himself didn’t exactly know what answers he was looking for, or if her even wanted to find them to be honest. But, something about the actual process of coming here and opening his mind to notions he had long ignored was satisfying, liberating almost. Maybe it was just the fact that he had succumbed to a life of apathy for so many years that to finally seek some semblance of direction was a welcomed change. There was no way he’d be a brand new man by just walking into a church, he was much too stubborn to allow sudden divine retribution, but it felt as if he was one step closer to a part of himself that he longed to have back -- a part of himself that shattered when his wife died, cursed to never be whole again. “Actually I’d appreciate the company, I can’t even recall the last time I’ve done this.” An impassive nod is given to Piret as she joins him in the pew, appreciative to have found himself in her presence in this place that was foreign to him. “Hey it doesn’t hurt, right?” Voice raising slightly to offer encouragement in his response, Maxwell then closes his eyes and clasps his hands together firmly -- pointing his chin up to the high gothic ceiling of the church as his mind engages in silent conversation with who he loosely hoped was god. 

[succubarefemina]

A Single Touch | Tatiana & Maxwell

Aside from her friends, and ‘family,’ Tatiana missed the food in New York the most when she had went off to Paris. In fact, she made it a mission to eat out at a different restaurant nearly every night since her return - which wasn’t a difficult thing to do. Especially when she had the money for it. This particular night, though, Tatiana had a friend join her. A good friend that she was keen to get to know better. Maxwell.

Checking herself over in the mirror, she fixed a stray piece of hair before leaving the Penthouse suite of the hotel she occupied. Scooting down in the elevator, she reached the main foyer and gave a smile to the receptionist and doorman before leaving into the cold night air. She pulled her coat closer to her as she made her way down the street to the restaurant she would meet Maxwell at. Tati wasn’t one for being driven about places if it wasn’t necessary. Sure, she liked the flash cars but she adored people watching as she made her way through the city, and walking was perfect for that. 

The smell of basil was a pleasant greeting as she entered the restaurant and gave her name. She was quickly ushered to the table with a menu before being notified what the specials were. Tatiana nodded and gave a smile before ordering a glass of Rosé wine and placing her menu down, wondering when Maxwell would arrive. 

[detective-cross]

It was funny how Maxwell didn’t realize how dull and desolate his wardrobe was until he needed something other than his usual work attire for his dinner with Tatiana. It was almost unreal to believe she was back and things had resumed as if she‘d never left. However she did leave and the detective felt her absence, even if it wasn’t shown on the outside. He’d found himself growing close and trusting her as someone he could just be around and not be weighed by all of the problems that dragged him down -- but then one day she was just gone. Not a call, no goodbye, just gone. It had taken much longer than the man would’ve liked, but Maxwell did eventually find a nice suit for the ocassion. It just meant he was in a rush to get to the restaurant on time now. Looking down at his watch, the detective practically flies out of his small apartment and whistles with a loud screech to stop a taxi, arriving to the restaurant in a litle under six minutes. After being greeted by the hostess, he joins Tatiana at the table, ordering a glass of water for the moment.  “Sorry I’m late, though I have to tell you that you look quite spectacular tonight. I couldn’t compete with that.” A smile is written on the man’s features as he adjusts himself for a more comfortable dining experience, stealing a glance at the woman in front of him a few times while doing so. This is what normal life felt like, having friends, going out, enjoying life, feeling unburdened by the voices of negativity that used to constantly keep him awake at night. Maxwell takes a sip of hs glass before speaking up.  “So what brought you back from Paris?”

[sabdiasep-deactivated20180505]

I’ve been watching a lot of LUTHER.

[piret-koiv]

Piret shrugs in turn: “Neither am I. But that seems to be one of the very few things that have stuck with me from Sunday school. Sounds really pitiful in hindsight, if everyone around you makes fun of your accent and that’s what you get for consolation, but I seem to remember that’s how it went. Sorry if I can’t serve up any scripture to prove that though.” She nods to the bible in the stranger’s hands: “You trying to catch up on that?” Now Piret doesn’t quite know how to react to the money, she’s great at accepting drinks in an inebriated state from inebriated strangers, but that’s normal and asking people for money in church while wearing 300-dollar trousers is probably not. So she just mouths “thanks” as her hand closes around the coins, and tries to keep her face from flushing red as she wrecks her brain trying to come up with a way of phrasing her reply. Maybe because this is stupid to begin with, hoping for relief from praying when you usually only venture into a church for Christmas. “Do you know this thing when everything just seems to go wrong? When you’ve worked so hard for everything to get better, and at some point, you’ve actually thought that it was getting better and then everything still goes wrong because…I don’t even know why?” She shrugs again. “Guess I’m sort of praying for that to stop.”

[detective-cross]

“This?” Maxwell inquires with a dry chuckle before holding the book up. “I’m just looking in curiosity more than anything. I figured I’m already here, might as well take a gander just to see if there’s still any hope left for me.” The detective replies honestly, a playful laugh escaping his lips. His curiosity peaked when the woman reacted to the change he had given her. She seemed so confident at the start of their conversation, but didn’t quite know what to do after he handed her a few coins. Thankfully she wasn’t a heavily spiritual person from what he could tell, this church visit wasn’t necessarily to redeem his soul just yet, but to merely observe and gather his thoughts -- think about the path that lay ahead of him without the darkness that plagued the outside world. Piret’s answer to his question seemed to be some sort of ironic sign for the man, hitting the nail right on the head about how he felt in life recently. It was as if the very creator he struggled to prove and disprove to himself at the same time was showing Maxwell he wasn’t alone in his sorrows. With a scoff that came from disbelief at how relevant her words were, Maxwell answers. “What you described just now is exactly how my life has felt for a while now. I’ve been walking my own path and dealing with the problems as they came, at least thought I was handling things ok and keeping it together but it seems like the road still began to crumble beneath my feet and now I’m just trying to keep myself from falling into the abyss.” The detective then scratches his head. “Seems like a good prayer to me.”

[hoechlin]