“Hey hey hey! Hands OFF the ears already!”

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@deviouslylione
“Hey hey hey! Hands OFF the ears already!”
“HANG ON! THE YAGERS HAVE INTERNET?!? Wait what the hell is an internet?? Is it one of those annoying sharp nets that tuck in around you once ya get caught in em, UH, n-not that I would g-get caught in one of those stupid things! ...Goddamn Capital bounty hunters...”
"What even are you!?"
"Never mind ME! What about you?! Why are you so dinky and adorable and fluffy! AH! I JUST WANNA HUG YOU!"
"Soooo. C-can I touch your ears?" O // O
"Permission granted! But if you touch my tail amma pound you flat got it?"
If your target throws a yarn ball will you run off chasing it?
"Yikes that would depend on if it is a really expensive ball of yarn or not buddy."
[PunchAnon] Well, at least this dice roll I got lucky... Somewhat. A 12 on the second death saving throw. But if I may, DM, mine own body was in the direct path of the explosion, whereas my companions were at least somewhat shielded by the foul beast's meaty carcass, and this was but a single stick of dynamite. May I suggest, one DM to another, allowing them to roll with advantage for the final death saving throw? ('Tween you and me, the mental gymnastics required to keep a Call of Cthulhu party from killing themselves for more than 5 minutes are astounding!)
And now the true test...hold fast...or expire.
"Right fair point. Leone, Kurome and Yang your next death save it with advantage - Leone remember you are on your last save so you need at least a 10 to not die. Mein, you do have an action you can take should you choose. Anon, make another flat death save."
“A five with advantage and my mods! Ooooh man we are in trouble.”
proditoreques:
“…I have a feeling you and Assassin would get along like a house on boozey fire boobcat. Do you always just go around scamming guys to buy you drinks or?…”
“Well if they like a good booze up send em my way as long as they have some cash though. Heh maybe I do maybe I don’t, get a guy drunk and sometimes you can get more than just a few drinks out of him ~ loose lips sink ships an’ all that. Just try asking your Assassin friends ~ ”
proditoreques:
“I’m a thousand years old that ain’t little kitty years Boobcat! How did you manage to get drunk during the afternoon as well?”
“Hey kiddo I am a little tipsy and that is it ~ takes more than a few mugs of beer to knock this cat on her back! Was pretty easy as well I got some chump to buy me booze all I had to do was flutter my eyelashes and made sure he kept his eye on my chest - guys are such suckers for ‘em!”
proditoreques:
“They don’t seem that sharp you are more the cat with boobs.”
“Yeah that is ONE I have been called before Kiddo along with a few more that ain’t for little kitty ears ~ you’ve got some spunk kid! I liiiiiiiike it.”
[PunchAnon] Blast. Blast, blast, blast... In hindsight, I should have put the dynamite into its mouth, shouted to my teammates to get clear, and either prepared an action for once they were out of the blast radius, or let the beast's fire breath do the igniting upon the start of its own turn. Dammit...
As for myself, I roll a 4 on my Con save.
@burninggoldyang rolled a 3 @marchingdead rolled a 5 @pumpkinxnator rolled a 10 @deviouslylione rolled a Nat 1 Seconds fizzle away before with an uncerimonous BLORFPFGH the Chimera violently explodes in a hail of gunpower, guts, gore and sharpnel. As ichor splatters with a smoldering sting you all feel your bones shift unnautraly before being thrown backwards among the spreading filth that was once a grand mighty beast.
Unable to defend yourselves from either poor reaction or close proximity you all find yourselves peppered with glittering slithers of deadly shrapnel. The parties paladin cleric tried to cover the bard and themselves with a wall of trusted iron but both are sent skyward into the cavern wall with a loud CRUNCH before settling still upon the craggy floor. Both monk and fighter are sheered by flame, battered by bone before being laid low by a hail of splintered ribs and powder. Anon as your vision fills with blinding light you feel a moment of pain and then nothing...you do not even experience the sudden halt of momentum as you crash to the cavern floor.
For all of you the world grows dark and silent as you begin to slip beyond the realm of the living.
"I need you all to start making death saving throws..."
“Nat 1...sorry team I am probably done for here.”
“Careful. This cat has teeth ~”
“Wow I missed a lot during my catnap! Right! Time to raise some hell ~”
pumpkinxnator:
“How do you idiots burn through all of your stuff BEFORE we get to the boss?! …J-just roll already! I got a 10…”
“…5! I cast bless on the entire party in defience.”
“A Nat 1, 3, 5 and 10! Good job gang we’re the best!”
burninggoldyang:
“Sooooo we are saving Punch Anon if this all goes wrong right?”
“Well I rolled a nat 1 on my save so pretty sure my character is gonna end up toast after this... Don’t even have anything I can get out of dodge with either!”
Blast and damnation! I roll... a 12! My dexterity modifier is unfortunately nonexistent! Be that enough to avoid the scaly appendage's vengeful strike?
"Ooooooooh crap! That ain't good at all Anon that isn't even enough to stop the Snake trying to swallow you! Uuuuuuuuuuuh shiit um.
As the Serpant moves to strike you slide around the back of the goat hoping to get away from it, instead you feel the cold coils begin to wrap around as it twists you up in its deadly embrace! Make a con save as its coils begin to crush you!"
“Nat 20 Heroic intervention! I rush in and smack the snake so hard it lets go of Anon.”
“My time to shine! I’ll get right in there and burn all my KI to restrain that head so Anon can get advantage next turn.”
Nanomachines son! They harden in response to physical trauma, you can't kill me Leone!
"That is great news buddy! Cause I've got some extra steam that needs workin' off and MAN does it bite when I can't cut loose! Here I come!!"
“So if the Jaegers have new members.”
“When are we getting the gang back together?! I’m ready to bust some heads!”