Redemption of the Muse

“Here I am, a bundle of past recollections and future dreams, knotted up in a reasonably attractive bundle of flesh. I remember what this flesh has gone through; I dream of what it may go through.” Sylvia Plath

[diananysus]

the dreamer

he sleeps, and thoughts fade to dreams away from the nightmares of the day, of the week and weeks and months and all of a sudden, he is fallen again. at this juncture of forever, he buckles as I try not to break for without me as roots, he is homeless- yet I am vulnerable in ways he will never perceive in even sleep - I will stir his blood, from within and his veins shake by the same hands that steady.

[diananysus]

the server

the hush of your hustle, scuffling soles and your scandalous soul- and with abrasive energy, my eyes catch glimpse from between shadows- the glow of your face- my eyes burn you are the sun I've chased through my darkness I am your dawn, your waking dream after the tremble lulls, and breath is caught, my fingers fumble again to poise but with languid language beside me, slurring accents into beauty, yet I see only your glow- hot and vulnerable inside, and of me you are.

[diananysus]

from between walls and an open door

I miss you most on days like today with singed fingernails yellowing again after two years of knowing I wouldn’t quit, as my exhales have always been for you-

When the door never wants to close and yesterdays will never let you rest as my pulsating palms open to catch your drool, just to wipe it on my flustered face, forgotten.

I miss you most on days like today when our walls do more than just divide and the silence of your morose mouth echoes hauntingly on lonely ears-

When my faith falters, your eyes scream shut and your head falls to meet another nightmare- leaving my fingertips trembling helplessly as I collapse for the last time in your wake.

[diananysus]

Home(sick)

There is something new silently sauntering from behind familiar doors left open by ageless hands and anguished hearts.

Breath is pulled tighter by reassuring arms and mournful mouths are forgotten as sinful smiles slip through clenched teeth.

Forever never tasted better than on your tongue tracing vulnerable skin as eyes lock in our final escape.

Do you like this sweet smell of home as it trickles down your crooked spine and finally falls into my lap?

I will catch your fall every time without needles dangling delicately between a fistful of frets and my hair.

I will catch your fall every time without doubts masquerading manically between sobs as I watch the neglectful flame drop from your fingers.

Do not linger without your hands on my hips hauntingly hesitating each forceful pull until my sirens sound softly in beat with your own.

Do not linger without my fingertips on your back sensually scraping each scandalous scar until I cautiously claim them as my own.

Do you like this sweet smell of home soaking in shameless sheets as we finally taste the salt and calm.

[diananysus]

We sit so effortlessly…

There is a contrast where his fingers meet, and cuticles burn with a light.

There is a light where my glasses fall, and this fire simmers with lust.

His finger’s length has never reached further to deepen our dance.

My faulty core stumbles onto words not quite bright enough.

Where the cuticle burns and fingers meet, my hair twirls endlessly into song.

[diananysus]

Into the Sun

1.

Lips of Turkish blend with burgundy smooth, my head tilts- And toward the stars I have finally stumbled

With thirty years between breaths- But mine, rapid with lust, are closer to your chest echoing reticent pants

Lips of Turkish blend soft with forgotten youth, your head bends- And toward my eyes you have fallen.

2.

Take a bow familiar stranger in clouds of false smoke, but this fire is real- Burning my dancing feet Burning your dancing heart

Feeling fifteen butterflies we squander salty words and playful taunts as your eyes meet my naked legs, licking lips

Take a bow bashful lover in dreams as in song our harmonies are wings, and over the Bay we soar caressing palms in a tryst.

[diananysus]

even dreams whisper cautiously

Singing me to sleep in echoes, I tremble through the night and my toes curl with want.

Until once again the sun brushes it’s rays against my cheek, giggling playfully (as if in sighs), and my eyes fight against the dancing light, shifting the curtains just enough for me to catch one last glimpse of the deep cocoa.

It is in the eyes. It is always in the eyes.

And my dreams are shattered into a rainbow of misplaced thoughts...

[diananysus]

On Broken Thoughts

It is harder than I thought, with his breath on the back of my neck, as it wheezes inconsistently . And my shoulders are bare and tangled with a regret woven so intricately with jealous fingers... And between two is where I hide my truths, crossed, and with lost fingerprints from the ink of the girl I once was. And I am envious of her sorrows and of her broken heart, time and again, while mine is clenched in his fist so tightly. And I am left without her fantasies and I am left without her hopes, forcing me to follow this path layed out into the future. But this future is so far... it is so far removed, yet it rests subtly between crossed fingers, until I finally beg you to cut these fingers loose from my hand, from my body, and sweep us back into the past so we may rewrite our own story together.

[diananysus]

Greetings, my dear friend

Why is the full moon here so much fuller? And tonite, the sky was almost turquoise… translucent-like. As if I could see through everything that ever was, yet nothing but a reflection off of a single ripple caused by the breeze over the Indian River… and it was merely whispering into my left ear from the north, “welcome to the warmth of the darkness in this Sunshine State.”

[diananysus]

City Sickness

This city will drown you in filth… With its shrieks hidden within the smog and the chokes of cars as they race down crooked, broken roads- Pavement withers under bruised feet And I sigh, for this city is all dried up and shriveled like my fingers on these keys- And I sigh, for this city is drying out my mouth with each day of stagnant air I breathe

And I cover my ears to shield them from my own screams Hidden in basements with the damp Hidden in alleys with the tramp- And my veins are growing thinner And my teeth are turning darker like the only shade this city sky will ever again let me see… So, instead, I sew them closed in dream.

[diananysus]

this is beauty

You will taste it on my lips, my love, as I come crashing down into all that is you.

I will wait, for we will be beautiful-

And my shoulders shiver with the delicacy of your touch- So effortless your hands are on my skin, moving without motion.

And there will be beauty in the blush, as my eyes fall shy to your gaze and we bite each other’s tongues.

You will hear it in my sigh, my love, as my breath is but an echo of our joy.

I will wait, for we will be beautiful, again.

[diananysus]

Still disrupting tomorrows

Tomorrow, I am dressed in petals And they are falling from these same palms Once dropping baskets and picking up dresses From floors of grass and stone

Today, today is lonely with the sun And it’s even rays of warmth between fingers Once so sure of closing onto bent thumbs From solid lines straight ahead

And there are flowers dancing behind closed eyes- They are not there, but a dream Once a steady straight stream seamless From an endless sight leveling me down

Tomorrow, I am throwing petals And the earth is so flat beside your grave My knobby knees recall the damp dirt and I shake- I shake the ground into mounds with soiled hands

[diananysus]

Another two pages from my newest poetry collage journal. I used a different glue to adhere the images, and I am not pleased. Mod Podge works so much better.

Again, the poetry I used with these images are from previously posted poems of my own here on tumblr. 

[diananysus]

I may have been a bit absent from tumblr, but tumblr has not been absent from me. I am working on a poetry- collage- art- journal type of decoupage project using some of my poems I have posted here. 

[diananysus]

the thaw

This too shall pass- with the sun and my sweat, sweet as honey and your saliva, thick with want

Trapped inside of slurred words as they melt off of my impassioned tongue longing to cauterize your heart’s wounds

But these words are distracted and I am drooling caustic O’s from a faulty fountain pen

This too shall pass- with the thaw as my frigid hands reach for the sun to heal this numbness you’ve left

[diananysus]

I long to feel the rush

My waters are still-

I am still- in this endless float a monotonous lack of motion and it feels like drowning, almost

And you wonder why I do not gasp for air

My feet do not kick My arms do not flail

And I inhale Swallowing mouthfuls

And spitting salt

Because without you, my muse

I struggle to not feel

And I remind myself- this in all just one big experiment

and patience is never the correct answer when I am longing to feel you, my love, within our roughest waves.

[diananysus]

Dust to Dust

Sockets sewn closed- and they used to be the sky. I would get so lost when I was ten, bragging about his strength.

I didn’t know deep down he was just as scared as I was about living tomorrow.

One of his sides was Scottish, so mother insisted bagpipes be played- And now I cannot get their cries out of my tears.

I wonder if they echo down in the ground, and if the pine box keeps his fingernails clean or if these tears melt it all away?

It all should have burned, but mother insisted on His coming and my tears were lost in my eye rolls, because it wasn’t what he wanted.

Down in the ground he cannot feel the breeze and he cannot taste the sea- It will take so much longer to return to dust.