//to inspire the world within//

she/her • jotting thoughts | pondering | sharing silently

[garadinervi]

Dudley Randall, Broadside memories: poets I have known, Broadside Press, Detroit, MI, 1975, pp. 14-15

[diaryofastrid]

So far enjoying it!

Fav quotes:

“… I was living in New York for the first time- that city of glass, of roving eyes- they arose out if loneliness, which agitates always in two directions, towards intimacy and away from threat.”

“ once it becomes impacted is by no means easy to dislodge. This is why I was suddenly so hyper-alert criticism and why I felt so perpetually exposed, hunching in on myself even as I walked anonymously through the streets by flip-flop slapping on the ground.”

[diaryofastrid]

It’s kinda fun to just read. I wished I had read more in the past. This past year has been a lonely one. Perceiving loneliness, the world had looked more hostile and ugly. I’ve become a lot more sensitive. Enclosed. Stressed. I hope to find the more excited and passionate me, but right now, I want to embrace the moment right now by making peace with who I am at this moment.

[literaturecravings]

—Dead Poets Society, N. H. Kleinbaum

[literaturecravings]

—Dead Poets Society, N. H. Kleinbaum

[diaryofastrid]

the last, final stretch of the year

[diaryofastrid]

second semester of uni thoughts so far

deadlines are hitting me like a truck and as I move forward, there’s a metaphoric fog that blurs me. I am not motivated to move forward, even losing courage sometimes to write. And I love to write, because no one will hear my voice. They will see, just my words. Ones that I can edit and revise until perfection. I want to pick up the pen more frequently again.

maybe setting a small goal everyday? well this is enough of writing for me today. journaling is really helpful. College isn’t glorious in its dazzling, work-hard-play-harder, utopia of my life yet (nor might it ever be), but day to day, I am waking up to a new morning, fully responsible for my own life, making decisions, and becoming adult, a more independent version of myself.

loneliness is okay. imperfection is okay. take it slow.

[crescentmoooons]

may this year be kinder and gentler to you

[diaryofastrid]

to everyone

[diaryofastrid]

obsessing about the future and getting anxious but forgetting that the present moment is what leads to the future

[vomitingwords]

"And I realized that what I want to end is not my life." she said. "But what makes me hate living."

It's that time of the year // ma.c.a

[diaryofastrid]

I posted 16 times in 2021

7 posts created (44%)

9 posts reblogged (56%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 1.3 posts.

I added 12 tags in 2021

#spotify - 2 posts

#aesthetic - 2 posts

#dps - 1 posts

#university - 1 posts

#thoughts - 1 posts

#random - 1 posts

#hamilton musical - 1 posts

#lifemoments - 1 posts

#diary entry - 1 posts

#life - 1 posts

Longest Tag: 16 characters

#morning thoughts

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

the vessel, ladies and gentlemen

0 notes • Posted 2021-12-02 09:47:25 GMT

#4

song tumblr is listening to

0 notes • Posted 2021-12-02 09:45:52 GMT

#3

DEAD POETS SOCIETY HC: HI! I’m a huge DPS fan (if my username doesn’t say that enough:) and if anyone’s looking for some headcanons for DPS, feel free to request them!

0 notes • Posted 2021-11-11 01:07:28 GMT

#2

nothing else just that I’m thinking about this masterpiece again

1 notes • Posted 2021-12-04 14:57:04 GMT

#1

random dps alternative ending dialogue snippet

"Forget it Todd. Forget it. I-I don't know." Todd gazed at him, holding his eyes in his.

"Neil...what if you don't have to be Cornelius Perry?" Silence.

"If I'm not Neil Perry, then what am I?"

"Neil. The Neil that laughs with us, acts with vigor, that lives with the fire of life within his eyes."

6 notes • Posted 2021-11-18 14:28:45 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[diaryofastrid]

i want to gaze at the stars and hope that you’re happy even when i’m not by your side.

[srftoy]

“BUT SURFING ALWAYS HAD this horizon, this fear line, that made it different from other things, certainly from other sports I knew. You could do it with friends, but when the waves got big, or you got into trouble, there never seemed to be anyone around. Everything out there was disturbingly interlaced with everything else. Waves were the playing field. They were the goal. They were the object of your deepest desire and adoration. At the same time, they were your adversary, your nemesis, even your mortal enemy. The surf was your refuge, your happy hiding place, but it was also a hostile wilderness—a dynamic, indifferent world. At thirteen, I had mostly stopped believing in God, but that was a new development, and it had left a hole in my world, a feeling that I’d been abandoned. The ocean was like an uncaring God, endlessly dangerous, power beyond measure.”

Barbarian Days - by William Finnegan

[diaryofastrid]

my book of the month

[diaryofastrid]

nothing else just that I’m thinking about this masterpiece again

[diaryofastrid]

first semester of uni little thoughts

•loneliness: leaving home for the first time sounded exciting, (even guilty, fun) until I realized how quickly i was torn away from my usual routine and how much i took the presence of family for granted. although i know change is inevitable and i am the only person who stays with myself forever, it is definitely not easy facing that loneliness.

•jumping off of loneliness, social life has been a mixed bag. i have met the best people here but have also faced unprecedented loneliness and self-doubt. i become hypersensitive to people’s gaze, observing my action with a unusual intensity and in scathing criticism. this is really harming for one’s confidence.

•i don’t feel like myself, i am not intensely devoted to a goal, don’t feel absolutely inspired and am not the same woman who had everything together.

lesson learned: this is okay. accept imperfection and struggles as a part of life. rather than chasing perfection (which is futile), embrace these problems as a growth opportunity. to do this, i need to honestly assess myself and how I can interact with these problems.

still working on everything. still walking through life with its tangled parts.

[diaryofastrid]

the vessel, ladies and gentlemen

[diaryofastrid]

song tumblr is listening to