now is the time of raisins

hooten tooten toten koff / buy one bogo get one binted / awawawawawawawa bupbupbup

[twocubes]

i think my problem might be that i learned what a joke was from statements marked "joke" in math textbooks

[selkiewizard]

Me reading a recipe that in no way requires crispy chili oil: the crispy chili oil is implied

[vortexdough]

Who's up bad appling on a monday afternoon

Hashtag unemployed

[chkq-deactivated20260531]

i'll never understand women's fashion...

[chkq-deactivated20260531]

[chkq-deactivated20260531]

what we know so far

[gh0stforest]

going into the forest to play experimental industrial music at the lyrebirds so they learn how to make those sorts of noises and then showing the lyrebird noises to experimental industrial musicians so they learn how to mimic lyrebird mimicking them and then showing that to the lyrebirds and so on because well basically why not

[secondbeatsongs]

[AMV] Jon Arbuckle - You’re Gonna Go Far Kid

this is one of my favorite videos on the internet, and it kills me that the source has been silenced by youtube’s copyright system, so I’m putting it here!

I have seen a version of this on tumblr before, but the audio in that one is just a little bit off because that person edited it back in themselves

but today, I am proud to present the original video, sent to me by Crispy Crungy, who gave me permission to upload it here and share it with you all!

enjoy!

[stainedglasssqurriel]

I love this description. It reads like a dedication speech for an art museum. Like we’re all witnesses to this video being interred in the Met. Preserving these things is important, and they really captured that.

[infiniteartmachine]

"a picture of the exterior of a building, painted in a vibrant colorful manner"

[anasabdin]

Grianán Ailigh

[orchidboy]

THE CAVITY AND THE WOUND; THE OPENING AND THE EYE; THE CYCLE AND THE ANOMALY

[zagreus]

[huffylemon]

[lokaror]

i eat your grandads clothes

[flyingsquidzeez]

Macklemoth

[coughloop]

I'm on the information superhighway getting road head

[dark-magician-girl-meets-world]

You probably think you could take an octopus to a 3D movie. Maybe you think it would look cute in those little glasses, with a cup of Coca-Cola in one tentacle, some popcorn in another and a bag of candy in a third. I bet you're imagining how when something jumps at the screen, it would get scared and camouflage to the same color as the seat. Well, too bad, 'cause it's never gonna happen. You know why? I'll tell you why. Unlike ours, octopus eyes can see the polarization of light. The two superimposed images wouldn't look similar to it, even a little. You fool. You buffoon. And I know what you're thinking. We'll just watch a stereoscopic 3D movie. It'll look even cuter with the red and blue glasses they have for those. But you sound like even more of a dunderhead now, because you know what? Octopus eyes rely on single photoreceptors. They don't even see color! And I know what you're thinking. I know you're about to say that some researchers have proposed a mechanism where octopuses could use chromatic aberration to still determine color information, but you know what? That's just a theory someone came up with! No one's ever been able to train octopuses to distinguish between colors in the lab, so don't you look like a big old clown right now. And lemme stop you before you try to come up with some more featherbrained nonsense, because it gets worse. Octopus eyes aren't even positioned for binocular vision! They may not even be that good at perceiving depth, seemingly relying on a combination of light polarization and bobbing their head. So it'll never work! You're never going to take an octopus to see Finding Nemo 2 in 3D! You just won't! Give up on it already!

[coughloop]

"madame president! the terrorists said you need to drink 2 more gin cocktails in the next hour or so, or they'll blow up every natural wine bar in the emerging warehouse district!"

me: *sprawled across my desk* i don give aa damn about the hostiges. but i aam, thirsy....

[sor--tie]

Like my grandaddy uses to say ""ugly welds make the world grow round!"!! Haha. That was before he came out of course. Therian. Mom was a separatist, and a shitlib on top. Didn't work out. Then there was the war...

[tgirlmaomao]

[wiki-but-made-them-up]