Jagged Pen

Writer. I make things up.

[dickensd]

It's #NationalTakeAHikeDay. Personally, my favorite is National Go Jump in Lake day.

[dickensd]

A 10 year old kid led Ohio state troopers on a 100 mph car chase yesterday. This is why you don’t let your kids watch The Dukes of Hazzard.

[dickensd]

Baby Driver should have been ticketed for a missing Baby on Board sign.

[dickensd]

Trump, upset over Russian collusion accusations, asked why Clinton was allowed to collude against Sanders. That’s obvious. Americans like their colluding domestic.

[dickensd]

Gun violence is like cancer. Some countries prescribe preventative treatment, eliminating the cause. In the U.S., we prescribe an additionally pack of Lucky Strikes.

[dickensd]

Shaq O’Neil came out in a recent interview as a ‘Flat-earther.' One thing's clear. He’ll never be a globe trotter.

[dickensd]

Kellyanne Conway blamed Meryl Streep’s Golden Globes speech for “inciting people’s worst instincts.” That would be all instincts involving the brain.

[dickensd]

Death, remember this in 2017. You can get just as many retweets and shares taking the famously unpopular people as with the popular people, and a few more Likes. Besides, Justice Scalia could use some company.

[dickensd]

Ivanka Trump is getting the First Lady’s office at the White House, showing girls everywhere that they too can get ahead when their Daddy’s the boss.

[dickensd]

Trump Twitter Fake Out

Today's Trump Twitter rant was against Boeing and the cost of a future Air Force One they have planned that he'll never ride in because it won't be available until 2024, if made. Which means other important stuff was happening such as:

** Ben Carson being put in charge of HUD - Aside from being unqualified, he's not big on safety net programs like HUD. “poverty is really more of a choice than anything else,” i.e., who needs a handout? Hard work and determination is all you need.

** Trump Tower Security - U.S. House of Representatives agreed on today to add $7 million to a short-term federal spending bill to reimburse New York authorities for President-elect Donald Trump's security costs, far short of the $35 million requested by the city's congressional delegation to keep Trump safe while leaving in Trump tower while president.

** Taiwan's arranged call - Bob Dole was essentially paid by Taiwan to set up that call with Trump, in addition to access to Trump's team.

[dickensd]

Haven't seen or heard from Melania Trump for weeks. I guess Putin can only stay in drag so long.

[dickensd]

VP-elect Mike Pence, when asked about Trump's baseless voter fraud claim, said, “I think the American people find it very refreshing that they have a president who will tell them what’s on his mind.” Evidently Trump's fact-free opinions are like Mentos for the Deplorable brain.

[dickensd]

If you want to know Kellyanne Conway's dream surrogate job, watch Rosemary's baby.

[dickensd]

Someone should tell Kellyanne Conway that her blond dye job isn't fooling anybody. We all know she's really Cruella de Vil.

[dickensd]

Aretha Franklin's soulful, gospel styled National Anthem is getting lots of buzz due to its length. Please. If you've ever been in a Black church, you know she kept it short.

[dickensd]

Ivanka Trump company promotes $10,000 bracelet worn on '60 Minutes.' It's from the "Let them Eat cake" collection.

[dickensd]

After watching the 60 minutes interview with Trump, I think Leslie Stahl had Botox injections beforehand. It's the only explanation for her keeping a straight face while he was talking.