Ain't No Thing Like Me

'Cept Me. First thing's first, I ain't no vermin. Second, I run 'round the galaxy with a bunch o' idiots called the Guardians 'cause even if I didn't ask to be made it's still my life an' I'm gonna choose what I do with it. {Indie semi-selective MCU Rocket Raccoon. Mun is 21+. Occasionally nsfw and will be tagged accordingly. Feel free to drop me an ask. This is a side blog, so if I follow back it'll be under my main darcywho, Human fc: Joe Flanigan. (Chances are I'll use the raccoon as often as possible, but if you want to talk to human!Rocket just let me know.) Disclaimer: all rights to their respective owners; I do not profit from this in any way. All gifs, icons, etc. are not mine unless stated otherwise. Tracking: didntasktobemade}

[didntasktobemade]

“I can’t tell if you’re bein’ serious right now.”

[fartedandcantgetup]

"I’ll make your mother regret getting drunk in a prune, using a ziploc bag instead of a condom, and proceeding to birth the wasted pile of furry flesh you call a body."

[didntasktobemade]

"An' now I feel completely justified doin' this." 

[didntasktobemade]

"You incompetent furry imp."

"Call me that one more time, I dare ya! 

[anon-loki]

[didntasktobemade]

"I don't like you Asgardians." 

[didntasktobemade]

"I got th' biggest gun, so I'm th' one in charge!" 

[bartonwithabite-archive]

➳ “ Wow, you are just lovely to be around aren’t you? Rubbing int the fact you get to save all of space.

Why aren’t you doing that now exactly and instead sassing me ”

[didntasktobemade]

"'Cause I'm huntin' down a fugitive ya flarkin' humie. Ya wanna start tellin' me how t' start doin' my job ya might wanna think 'bout doin'yours."

[immortalspxrrow]

"We just need to get to th—OW! Would you just shut your trap and cover our asses?!”

[didntasktobemade]

"What d'ya think I'm doin'?!"

[crossbonesandbatroc]

"I’m always a ray of sunshine, fluffy."

[didntasktobemade]

"Call me fluffy again, an' you'll be considerably darker."

[didntasktobemade]

"You people ain't too bright, are ya?"

[didntasktobemade]

Sorry I've been MIA for a little while. Shit got real busy for a while there, and will be for a bit. I'm gonna figure out some kind of schedule so Rocket isn't so inactive. 

[phoeona]

"I figured you would. Come on, Lion King is amazing!" 

[didntasktobemade]

"You're just as bad as Quill 'bout Kevin Bacon."

[phoeona]

"Maybe." Beat. "Mcgriddles, and egg McMuffins.. and coffee?"

[didntasktobemade]

"Okay, fine. But I reserve th' right to complain." 

[phoeona]

"Not even if I bring McGriddles and Coffee?"

[didntasktobemade]

"....Depends. Is this one o' those animated things yer always harpin' on?"

[phoeona]

"I may have heard that before, but we need to get you to watch the Lion King at some point, Uncle Rocket."

[didntasktobemade]

"How 'bout we don't an' say we did."

[aegisbane]

[didntasktobemade]

"You looking to make some cash?"

"Depends on who’s askin’." 

[averyleeharper-deactivated20160]

"Aw, that means no petting your fluffy tail." She groaned, before agreeing to his terms.

[didntasktobemade]

"It's always th' tail with you people."

[apparentlyimbucky]

"I’m not used to having a team to do this. I bet you can make your way in and disable the alarm system, yeah?"

[didntasktobemade]

"Without gettin' caught? Yeah. Not a problem. Terran tech's old news anyway, shouldn't take more'n a minute once I get there."