I only feel save with you (Diego Hargreeves x Reader)
Note: This is a oneshot I had in mind for quite a while now. Please excuse my bad writing and possible logic errors. I always appreciate comments (they make my day).
Summary: Diego and you have been together for two months. When he breaks up with you without an explanation, you go to the gym to confront him about it.
Warnings: angst, breakup, bad writing
Two weeks ago your life was beautiful and full of joy. Two weeks ago you were together with the one you love, you thought nothing could ever again keep you from being happy. Two weeks ago you were still his. Then he left you.
And then? Loneliness, tears, drinking whisky alone in your bathtub at 3 am. And most importantly – the question: why? The two of you were happy together – so you thought. Of course there were problems. You didn’t like the fact that he risked his life every other night as a vigilante. He didn’t like the fact that you went out with your friends without him and afterwards made your way home alone and without his protection. But none of these could possibly be the reason why he broke up with you, right? He refused to talk about it, didn’t give you an explanation. But today he would, he had to.
You sighed heavily as you made your way to the gym. You weren’t even sure if he was there, but you just had to give it a try. Mentally preparing yourself you stepped inside. There weren’t many people training today. You spotted Al in the back of the room. When he saw you, he nodded politely, a look of compassion on his face. He knew that Diego dumbed you. “He’s downstairs.”, he told you. “But let me tell you: you deserve better than this idiot.” You only murmured a “thank you” and quickly made your way to the door that led down to the boiler room. For a second you thought about turning around, leaving Diego behind once and for all, just accepting the fact that he left you. But you shook off the thought and went through the door and down the stairs.
The two of you had been officially together for two month and had been friends for years. You knew him well enough to know that he wouldn’t just leave you like that, with nothing but a “I don’t want you anymore, don’t talk to me again. Just accept it and move on.” He loved you, you knew that and this just couldn’t be the truth. The last two weeks he had ignored all your texts and calls, and now you just couldn’t take it anymore.
You knocked on the heavy door and waited a few seconds – no answer. Slowly you opened the door a little bit. “Diego, are you here?” You could see him sitting on this bed, head buried in his hands. When he heard your voice, he quickly got up. For a moment you thought you saw something in his eyes: Love? Longing? Then the moment passed and his face hardened. “What do you want?”, his voice was harsh. You slowly walked into the room, approaching him. Oh, how much you wanted to hug him, jump into his arms and forget these lonely days. “You know what I want. You need to talk to me Diego, please.” Diego grunted. “Y/N, you need to leave. There is nothing left to talk about.” You stood directly in front of him now, trying your best to stay calm. “Diego, you can’t just leave me like that without an explanation. I love you and I know you love me too. I see it in your eyes. What happened? We can sort things out together, like we always do. Please!” You reached out to touch his arm but he backed away quickly, bringing some distance between the two of you. You could see the pain in his eyes, the conflict inside of him, his struggle to stay harsh and push you away. “I don’t l-love you, I don’t want you anymore, Y/N. Now leave!”, he said, avoiding your gaze. How could he do this to you? Why did he keep on pushing your away like you were nothing? Your calm facade fell and you broke down in tears. “Don’t you think I deserve an explanation? We had something special. Don’t I even deserve to know the true reason why you are ending this?” Diego made an annoyed huffing sound. “It’s better this way.”, with these words he stormed out of the boiler room, leaving you all alone and in tears.
He couldn’t stand seeing you like this – miserable and in tears, all because of him. It made him question his decision. But it was the right thing to do, wasn’t it? You were saver without him. All these dangerous things he did, all these ruthless people he pissed off would only put you in danger, especially now that he started going after more than just pickpockets and shoplifters. You deserved so much better than him. And with time you would understand. Diego quickly got into his car, slamming the door shut. He had to leave this place, though he didn’t know where to go. The only place where he felt truly at home, was close to you.
Another week passed and even though you still felt like shit, your friend Denise convinced you that leaving the house from time to time wouldn’t hurt. You went out for dinner with her and had a few drinks in a bar near her place. It was 10pm when you said goodbye to her and made your way to the bus station close to the bar. You approached the bus stop and even from the distance you could read the red service announcement “no service on 25th August, 2019”. “Shit”, you cursed, going through your options.
You didn’t want to go back to Denise, as she would have her boyfriend over. Checking your purse, you had to find out that calling a taxi wasn’t an option either as you didn’t have cash left. A few weeks ago you would have called Diego, but now you didn’t even know if he would pick up the phone. But since you knew that walking home wasn’t the safest option, you decided to give it a try. You tried calling him twice, leaving him plenty of time to answer your call. After sending him a text, that he didn’t answer, you decided to walk home.
The air was cool tonight as you made your way through a dark alley with bad lighting. You felt uncomfortable and hoped that nothing would happen. You had about 30 minutes left to walk, when you heard footsteps behind you. Panic rose inside you as you walked faster, desperately wanting to reach a crowded street with good lighting.
Diego had spent the last hours patrolling the streets, listening to police radio and thinking about you. The harder he tried to push away these thoughts, the more he had to think about the pleading look in your eyes, when you had confronted him at the gym. He missed you so much every day and was asking himself if you still thought about him as well. Absently, he checked his phone, realizing you had tried to call him twice. Sighing, he wanted to put his phone away, when he saw your text. “Diego, could you please come to pick me up? There’s no bus driving from Hillwood tonight and I don’t have money to pay for a taxi. You know I wouldn’t call you if it wasn’t important.” Cursing himself for muting his phone, he read your second text message. “Fine, I’ll have to walk home.” He felt panic rise inside him. Hillwood wasn’t the safest place to walk through at night. If something bad had happened to you, it would be his fault. Being confronted with this fear of losing you, he finally realized how wrong it was to leave you in the first place. Mumbling curses into the night, he started his car, driving towards Hillwood as fast as he possibly could.
The footsteps behind you appeared to belong to an old woman with a dog, that eyed you mistrustfully before turning right into another alley. Taking a deep breathe you waited until your heartbeat went back to normal again. Reaching a street with better lighting and some people, you started to feel more comfortable. You made your way through the night, your feet starting to hurt a little bit in your heels. Lost in your thoughts you didn’t notice the car slowing down next to you. When you heard Diego’s voice, you jumped in surprise. “Y/N! Get in the car!” Full of conflicting emotions you got into the car.
Before you had a chance to say a word, Diego wrapped you into a hug. “I’m so g-glad nothing happened to you.”, he murmured. Confused, you let go of him. “Why do you care? You didn’t answer the phone anyway.” Getting yourself together you crossed your arms in defence. "I had m-muted my phone. Y/N, I’ve always cared about you.” You looked at him in disbelief and confusion. “But why did you leave me then?” You struggled to keep the tears inside. Diego gulped, looking at his hands. “Because I thought you were saver without me. I’ve lost someone important before and it was my fault. But now I know I never should have left you.” Silence filled the car. Everything made sense to you now. After a few seconds you spoke up. “Diego Hargreeves, you’re a complete idiot.” He looked at you insecurely. That was when you wrapped him into a tight hug. “You know, I only feel save with you.”
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