der heilige panzerjäger

{ There are chains upon your children, Lord } { Chains upon your children} independent roleplaying blog for eren jaeger. tracking 'diejagen'

[diejagen]

WHEN U MEAN TO DRAFT BUT U PUBLISH

[soldierscarf-deactivated2013112]

    The flush in his cheeks was a common issue for Eren Yaeger. Common in the sense that there had not been one time where Mikasa put forth a tender gesture for him, and his face had lit up bright red like a beacon. The red that spread from the apples of his cheeks up to his ears, and back down again, almost as if someone had painted a second, darker layer on top of the first.

     Even with the current pink cheeks, his expression read something far more serious, and Mikasa would have taken a step back had she had been standing. She almost did lean back when he grabbed her wrist, his hand tracing over the features it held and his eyes focused on it, her own on him. Grey hues flicked over the boy as he spoke, fixing on little details. He had saved her. It wasn’t exactly a first, but he had again. He didn’t give up on her or the Recon Corps and he had stepped forward and lifted her from her brief moment of despair. And so, with a red scarf wrapped around her nose and mouth, Mikasa couldn’t help but start to cry. It was soft, and since he wasn’t looking, he probably couldn’t tell,  but it was happening, the clear drops of liquid streaming down into the red fabric that hung below her eyes as her hand made a swift move to hold his instead of being petted by his.

            “Eren…you did what you felt was right. You wouldn’t have given up. You’re so very strong.”

[diejagen]

A gentle hand came to take his hand, pale, slender fingers curling around tanned ones. His other hand, now unoccupied, dropped to sit on his thigh, eyes still staring down at the floorboards, a long, hard breath being released from his nostrils. The color had fled from his cheeks, now he simply looked too serious for someone his age. Really, everyone did these days.

When she spoke, her words softer than the way her skin felt on his hand, so very reassuring, Eren found himself angry. At her, but mostly at himself. His shoulders squared and he sat forward a little, pulling his hand from her grasp. He thought to yell at her, as he turned to face her with a look of anger on his face, to tell her that he was not strong, he wasn't some kind of hero, he was a boy and he was afraid and he could only do much and that he was nothing to be proud of. That he couldn't save anyone he wanted desperately to protect anymore and that he was terrified of one day losing her-- But, as he looked, he noticed those tears and instead, his shoulders drooped.

"Mikasa," he took hold of both of her hands, his eyes focused on the bed sheets rather than her face now. "Whatever that scarf is to you, is what you are to me. And," he swallowed, "You're the reason I continue on, you and Armin. You're the only things I've got close to family left anymore and the only reason I keep fighting, is for you two."

"There's a future out there and one day, I'm going to give it to you. But until then, I'm going to need you to keep me going." His eyes raised to look at her, glossed over with what looked like impending tears. "There's a lot I can't do on my own, so I need you."

[soldierscarf-deactivated2013112]

    To the average person, the scarf meant nothing. Just a small token of help from a boy from ages ago — tattered and worn. It was almost pointless, really, to most people. A fashion statement? Maybe. But instead, it was something more. To Mikasa, it was a symbol she had a family. Someone to care for her and look after her and someone for her to do the same to. Someone to be there for her and make sure she was fine and someone she could confide in. He had saved her years ago, and he saved her now.

    The silence the stare created was near unbearable, and she would have said something to interrupt it, break it, anything. But all her thoughts and actions froze with a flip of a scarf against her face, fringe hitting her eyelashes and voice from the other falling soft against her ears, causing pale cheeks to light up.

            “That’s not nearly true. You’re the one who deserves such praise. I got you in more trouble yesterday. For making you sit there and listen to me. I’m sorry, Eren.” A pause. Slowly, she leans in to the best of her currently incapacitated abilities, pressing lips to teenage boy cheek.

[diejagen]

Eren frowned while she spoke, behaving as though she'd been a burden, anything but something to shine home in an otherwise miserable situation. Words tumbled endlessly through his mind as he tried to pick and choose what would help her see, the letters to explain what he felt and how she'd in no way caused him more trouble than he was already in.

But he had no time to formulate them, no way to get them out, as her lips- softer than much anything else he'd ever felt- touched his cheek and he might've flushed a little red in the cheeks, ears tinted maybe the slightest bit pink out of embarrassment. Not that she'd never done anything like this before, because she had, the fact simply stood that it happened nearly every time she did it.

"Stop talking like you're not important." Eren nearly scowled, once recovering from his little fluster, "I needed to hear that. I'm sure I did."

He paused, silence seemed to be a recurring theme between them, as his thumb rubbed gently against the wrist of his opposite hand, eyes cast downward. "I was ready to give up. If-- .. If I couldn't save Hannes, then who was I kidding, trying to be some kind of beacon of hope..? No, Mikasa, I-- I needed to hear that. So thank you."

[soldierscarf-deactivated2013112]

    Every now and then, when she’d wake up, if only for a little while, she’d see him or Armin or both, or even a few of the other corps members. But this time it was Eren, and just him alone. At first it was a little shocking, to see him leaning over her, his eyes filling with joy at the fact that she was, in fact, upright and awake. Holding her head, her shoulders simply rose and fell in an effortless shrug, hand moving with delicate, precise fingers to tuck a strand or two of black hair behind the shell of her ear. Own lips turning up at the sight of the other, she shifted ever so slightly to sit up taller, look more respectful from her slouch in the bed.

            “Eren…I’m fine. I’m sure this is alright to do. My legs are injured, not my back or chest.” Though, they were still sore. A sort of crooked smile worked its way onto fine, pink lips. He seems worried, but content that she was awake, and that’s really all she could ask for, reaching over to her scarf and winding it around her neck, to sort of prove a point, before looking up at him.

            ”I meant what I said, Eren. That you have given me more than enough. And that this scarf means…a great deal to me. Even if it is just a scarf.”

[diejagen]

Eren pulled himself up a bit, when she fixed her posture, though his hands hovered a bit in the event she didn't stay up for too long. You couldn't blame a guy for worrying, really, even if it was her legs. God knows he was woozy more than plenty of times upon waking up, wobbling like a top that was at the end of its spin.

Though, she seemed far more able than he gave her credit for, and he instead sat down on the edge of the bed beside her legs, careful not to disturb them all the while. His head turned to look over his shoulder at her, while she spoke of what she'd said before, prompting him to look away from her, pursing his lips in thought before pressing his forehead into his palms, then dragging his fingers through his brown hair almost exasperatedly.

"Mikasa," he started, turning to look at her. But he couldn't find the sentence to finish. Instead, he only looked at her, wondering why she held the scarf so dear. Eren had never been one for sentimentality- mostly because he had nothing to hold on to except people themselves- so maybe he just didn't quite grasp the concept.

He respected that she cared about it so much, though. And that was enough for him. Reaching out, he flipped the bottom of the scarf so that it hit her face gently, playful, though his face was more serious than anything.

"Nothing I give you will be enough until you've got the whole world in your hands."

[soldierscarf-deactivated2013112]

    Mikasa Ackerman knew not much of what happened after the battle with the Armored and Colossal Titan. She remembered telling Eren that the scarf she wore around her neck (though it currently rested in a crumpled heap on her bedside table) something she was beyond gracious for. She remembered him saying that he’d wrap that scarf every day if he had to, and standing up, punching a titan square in the knuckles. After that? Most of what occurred was a blur of mental confusion, terror, pain, and soon after, two work hardened hands lifting her into the arms they were jointed to.

    When she woke up in her bed, that was all she had collected, and so she lay there, propped up in bed, eyes shut as she listened to the subtle sounds all around her and ignored the pain throbbing in her legs like a heatwave pulsing above a hot iron. The subtle sounds of the room did not escape her, and neither did the soft falling footsteps that approached, her head raising and eyes opening, flicking to the door.

[diejagen]

Eren had been by her bedside as often as he could, though considerably less than she might have been if the tables had been turned. Not particularly his fault, Hanji had to give him a once over, tell him about things happening. He had to talk to the Captain, to just about everyone. Even Jean, after he woke up. If only to make sure he was alive. But every moment he didn't have to spend with them? He was in Mikasa's room, generally with Armin, though in this instance he'd been pulled away to speak with someone else, he didn't really know who. Maybe he hadn't been paying attention?

It was almost funny to him, really, how this time around it was him fretting over her. How it'd always been her by his side in his times of healing. The way she did everything to ensure his comfort, his safety. It almost made him smile. Though, he quickly reminded himself that, no, this was nothing to find funny at all. There was nothing about this to smile about, not even the thoughts of her words on the field could bring the corner of his lips up.

Except, maybe coming in to the room she was in, to see her awake. Almost as if he'd been holding his breath forever, he exhaled long and slow, lips forming a small upturn at the sight of her awake. Okay. For the most part at least. The contentment was replaced with a bit of worry.

"..Mikasa, are you sure you should be sitting up? Do you feel okay?"

[chibstheheavenlyelfsipod-blog]

Visit Original Link

[diejagen]

couple weeks later and i'm still in love with this theme

[seb1996-blog]

[backxbiter]

*Follow the Leader

[backxbiter]

          Without bothering to wait for him to kneel down again, Annie sits up, moves to set her hands on the inside of his shoulders, and slides her legs off, dropping down behind him.  Then, she gives him a hug from behind, pushing him away from the wall, since any closer and she’d probably be scraping her back against it. 

          “ Wait here, then. ”  Honestly, that’s all the response he needs to his statement.  She releases him, and eases away, heading off for the barracks.  She briefly considers stopping by Eren’s as well, but waking someone up there would probably get more questions than she cared to bother with — most likely from Reiner or Bertholdt.

          She just equips herself with her own blankets, her pillow, then she grabs a few of the extra ones from empty beds.  Nobody would miss them.  And the ground isn’t exactly comfortable by virtue, so it’s better to be prepared.  All the pillows are poured into the blanket, which is promptly closed over them, and she’s on her way back to the field.

          “ Hurry up, ” she calls to him once he’s within earshot without her having to raise her voice too much.  ” Let’s find somewhere worth laying down. ”  A pause.  ” … They’ll be back tomorrow night. “ 

[diejagen]

Eren nearly falls when she pushes him from the wall, stumbling only slightly and likely only staying upright because she had her arms around his torso. While she's gone, he takes the time to look around, namely at the sky, now all but void of color and replaced now with dimly sparkling stars.

Now that Annie was gone, his shoulders felt almost too light, and he might say he missed her fingers in his hair-- who'd lie about that? It was a comforting feeling, to have someone close to them in this world. Here, without someone near him, he felt rather lonely. Sort of vulnerable, though there were walls around them and a lack of danger in the moment.

Even so, he remains where he is, if only for the sake of the other. It isn't too long, really, that he's out there, for Annie's come back and she's calling for him to come with her, in her arms a blanket that he's assuming is filled with pillows. He obliges.

"Ah, okay!"

"Did you want to watch them tomorrow, too?"

[diejagen]

COUGHS DUST AS I EMERGE FROM THE DEPTHS OF BENEATH MY BED

sorry i haven't been around lately. i've been sick and kind of out of tune with my muses and stuff.

hh.h.hh...

[backxbiter]

*Follow the Leader

[backxbiter]

         ” Oh.  I see … ”  She stops fretting over his hair, letting her hands rest over the top of his head.  Her eyes squeeze shut, and she has to hold off the sigh that threatens to escape her lips; instead, she holds her breath and releases it slowly, shifting slightly on his shoulders.

          Her gaze returns skyward, and she falls back into a thoughtful silence, searching the fading lights, the winking stars, as if something up there would shift around to spell out an answer for her.  All she finds is that she suddenly feels more insignificant than she ever has before.

          ” Should I go get the blankets now? ” she inquires softly, hesitantly — as if she’s afraid to ask.  In a way, she is.  It brings her closer, and she’s never been one to revel in a close bond, and she had good reasons not to.  … So why indulge now?  ” Show’s almost over now … “ 

[diejagen]

Eren's eyes keep scanning, keep watching the lights despite their drawing departure. They were fading, coming from colorful bright hues to a much more muted palette against the dark skies, stars shining through them. It was still a lovely sight to see.

Still, he was almost upset that they were going to be gone soon. Like the glimmers of hope people seemed to have today, they will be snuffed out tomorrow as quickly as the lights. Pursing his lips together, he took in a deep breath.

While letting it back out, his head turns a bit upward, as if to look at her, "Well, if you want. I mean.." Eren blinks, watching as the sky begins to darken, no longer truly lit up by the lights. "If you'd rather just go back to your barracks or anything that's ok."

[backxbiter]

*Follow the Leader

[backxbiter]

          ” I guess …  if we can’t get the stars, you could always hold someone’s hand, ” she offers after a thoughtful moment in the lull of quiet.  Her fingers dance over his cheek bones, and up over his temples, sorting his hair back with the part in his bangs he usually likes. 

          ” They usually get really bright about now …  then they seem to just …  fade out.  Just like they ride in.  Here today, and gone tomorrow. ”  Much like her friendships.  Her lips purse at the thought, and her hands freeze, eyes locking on the glittering colors as they swirl together in a pattern she has yet to witness before.  She’s not sure how she feels about that.  Something between awe, and irritation —                Even things like the lights could change their patterns.  They could do what they wanted to.  Be where they wanted to be, and come and go as they pleased.  … So why couldn’t she?

          Her arms drop, and hang around his chest as she slouches forward to rest her head on his again.  ” … I have a question.  Don’t ask why, just give me an answer. ”  Eyes flutter closed after she gets another look at the lights, and she hesitates.  Then, ” Eren …  do you hate me?  … Could you? “  

[diejagen]

For some time, Eren only listens to her talk. Her words don't feel like they're searching for a response, like she just wants to put them out there to look at. Like the words would meet the stars and lights and somehow create a spectacle never seen before. Or at least, that's the oddly poetic way Eren thought about it.

Her fingers touch at his cheeks, he can feel her nails rake gently across his skin when she reaches his hair and he breathes in, then back out slowly. The thought rises to ask her why she did it, why she was being so.. he couldn't quite find the right word for it, closest being intimate, perhaps? He was unsure. But he does not.

Mostly due to the fact that before he can even gather the breath to speak, she's slumping against him slightly, asking something of her own. A ridiculous question that he doesn't understand, and he wants to ask why, but she tells him not too.

"Well.. if I hated you, would I be out here with you now?" He asks in response, fingers taping against her feet softly.

"And.. I don't know, I don't think I could."

[diejagen]

enruines replied to your post: my legacy will probably b...

anything is better than “that jean who would fuck pixis”

do u like how his stache feels on ur dick jean

[diejagen]

my legacy will probably be 'that eren that did it for the vine'

[diejagen]

femaletitantype replied to your post: i really wanna rp with mo...

[wouldyoureallycryifiaskorifiaskonchrista?]

i'd probably cry 100 fold

just like this

[diejagen]

i really wanna rp with more people but i'm five years old and cry when people ask

[backxbiter]

*Follow the Leader

[backxbiter]

          ” I wonder if anyone’s tall enough to touch the lights. ”  Her eyes lift again to the ribbon of colors in the sky, and for a brief moment, she considers reaching up to see how far away her fingertips were from grazing its tail, but she feels silly just thinking about it, so instead, she simply hunkers down a bit more on the other’s shoulders.  ” Maybe if you sat on Bertholdt’s shoulders, you could reach it … “

          After a few moments of silence, she sits up, stretching her arms up over her head.  ” I wonder if it feels warm like the sunlight.  … Do you think the stars are like little versions of the sun?  You could hang one in your room, and when it’s cold, you could sit next to it …  it would probably be warm like a small fire. “

          Her fingers find their way back down through his hair, this time going beyond to brush over his cheeks.  ” … Do you like the stars, Eren? “ 

[diejagen]

Eren watches quietly, as the lights snake across the sky, as Annie talks about how they were so far away, but maybe they weren't so far away at all. Really, there wasn't much of a way to tell. For all they knew, they could be miles and miles away, out of reach of even the tallest of Titans.

"Maybe they are. You could carry it around in the winter, in your hands so your fingers didn't get cold." Eren snorts a little at the thought of a small ball of warmth, shining. It seemed so far fetched-- and yet there they were, in the sky. Could you really touch them? He doubted he'd ever find out in his lifetime.

Her fingers ghost across his cheeks for the slightest of moments, her palms warm against the sides of his head, leading him to close his eyes for a second as he contemplates her question.

"Well, I guess I do. I've never really sat and really looked at 'em before, you know? ... I mean, I've looked at them but.."

He'd never really.. appreciated them, would be a better way to put it, but his voice simply trails off into silence.