For anyone uninterested in my emotional BS, you can go ahead and skip reading this one, for anyone that cares, well, here it is.... Over the past 6 months or so I've been in a pretty bad place, and right now I just sorta feel the need to get it out somewhere, the whole thing. So going back a number of years someone walked into my life, met through a mutual friend. Everything was pretty normal for awhile for a new friend that lives a couple hours drive away, talk online or text every now and again, don't see each other very much. As time went on however, it became less of a rare occasion that we saw each other and it was pretty rare that we would go more than a day or two without talking to each other. It took me awhile to realize exactly what it was, but it slowly dawned on me that I had fallen for him, at the time he was seeing someone so, I kept it to myself and just kinda got on with my days, weeks...flash forward a couple more years, we still talk on a daily basis, his ex has left him, he's not in a great place, I try to be there for him as much as I possibly can, help however I can whenever I can, and we begin seeing each other face to face more and more often, it seems to me like he's trying to get closer to me, but, given how things have gone for me in the past I sort of keep my distance and try to see how it plays out. Things continued at that sort of pace over another couple years, I try to let him make the moves, and he continues to get closer and closer to me, until, right around thanksgiving last year, everything just sort of...implodes, I find out that his ex who left him about 3 years ago has been back in the picture for close to a year, and I only learned this through becoming acquainted with said ex. I tried not to let it drive me crazy or let myself lash out, but I did quite a few times, I was hurt, I wanted answers, every time I got the same general story presented in a slightly different way but it boiled down to, he still loves me, but he's got a second chance now and wants to see where that takes him. Ever since about Christmas he's had less and less time for me, I feel like I'm being a pest when I try to get him to talk to me, we don't see each other anywhere near as often anymore and I'm still just as hurt as I was 6 months ago. I'm not even entirely sure why I'm sharing all of this right now, I could have made a much shorter story out of it, or a much longer one, but it's mainly because after 6 months I still have no idea what to do, I still love him just as much as I always have, and I miss him constantly. Nothing ever seems to fully take my mind off of it. For any of you that took the time to read through this, thank you, I don't really expect anyone to be able to help, and that's fine, it's my burden, I just needed to get this out there
