“Beautiful liar. Gorgeous teller of tall tales. Of course I loved you. I’m still clapping at the wonderful show you put on for me. But
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Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

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@dietmegandew
“Beautiful liar. Gorgeous teller of tall tales. Of course I loved you. I’m still clapping at the wonderful show you put on for me. But
It wasn’t until about a week after The Awfulness™ that I actually broke down. And that wasn’t even really a breaking so much as a comp
I was already a little bit drunk when I got the messages. I went out with coworkers while He went to see His family, because He hadn’t…
Newton’s First Law of Motion: An object in motion will remain in motion and an object at rest will remain at rest unless acted upon by an
Okay I know a lot of girls can relate to dating guys that you lowkey know you’re hotter than, just so he knows you’re a goddamn prize and he’ll never cheat.
BUT.
What no one prepares you for is the absolute mind-fuck you get when they CHEAT ANYWAY.
DEADASS!!!
Aaaaand they will disbar a lawyer QUICK but these cops get paid vacation.
All I’m saying is you need a master’s to be a social worker, but you can be a cop with a high school diploma. Like, on what fucking planet do that make sense?
Cops don’t have to know the law.
There was a supreme court decision recently that a cop is not falsely detaining someone if they’re doing something the cop reasonably believes is against the law, even if it’s actually legal. I think the specific case was about someone driving with a broken taillight in a state where a car is street-legal so long as at least one of its taillights works.
Meanwhile, as a civilian, ignorance of the law is not a defense.
Cops are not required to know the laws they enforce. You are required to know every law you might conceivably break. But then, of course, if you backtalk a cop because you have better knowledge of the law than they do, and they respond violently, good luck winning that.
Seeking Serotonin ✨
Georgia 🍑
Tinder bio: “Bundle of nerves with great tits and less than ideal genetics” Am I doing this right?
Life is short, fuck the hot ones.
Here’s the thing- men are shit. So quit dating down in the hopes that they will realize what a gem you are because they could never do better. Because even though you’re the best they’ll ever have, they’re going to fuck it up regardless. So go ahead and aim for the hot ones. Hell, aim for the ones out of your league! Life is short. Fuck the hot guys.
She sleeps a lot because her dreams are prettier than reality.
i sleep a lot because i have Depression
My kink: not having to set alarm for the next morning
Email me by 2/23/17
ok i deleted that last post cuz it was dark but my point on pretzel buns still stands
Fox news just @ me next time