hearing a beloved friend say the words 'can i be mean for a sec' is like watching an angel descend from the heavens and kiss you on the forehead
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
Mike Driver

izzy's playlists!
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Andulka
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$LAYYYTER

Love Begins
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One Nice Bug Per Day
KIROKAZE

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#extradirty

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roma★
sheepfilms
d e v o n

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@digidestined
hearing a beloved friend say the words 'can i be mean for a sec' is like watching an angel descend from the heavens and kiss you on the forehead
I hate that “chat” now makes people think of chatgpt. no. I’m asking my imaginary greek chorus twitch audience.
in fucking Tears thinking about how disgusting a baby griffin would look
behold. my ugly son.
Species accurate version
wretched little creature
Servant: Your highness, a party of adventurers has answered your call for help.
King: Excellent. What are they like?
Servant: One of them is a dragon-lady.
King: Interesting. Those are rare around these parts.
Servant: Another is a goblin paladin.
King: Not a role you usually see goblins in.
Servant: A third is a purple-skinned tiefling.
King: I didn't even know they come in that color.
Servant: The last one is a sapient gelatinous cube.
King: What. How did these four even meet?
Servant: They met in a tavern two hours ago, apparently.
Queen: My love, please return to bed.
King: *pacing* Why would a gelatinous cube come to a tavern? Can it even get drunk? How did it fit through the doors?
me, unloading a fitted sheet from the dryer: *squinting* what's that you've got in your mouth
fitted sheet: nothing :)))))))
me, prying open its twisted jaws: na-ah!!! give it to me RIGHT now!!
fitted sheet: *resentfully spits out a wad of 3 very damp dishtowels, a pillowcase, and a pathetically sodden washcloth*
Kudos to this post, I think of you every time I do my fucking laundry
2024 gonna be my year fr
2025 gonna be my year fr
2026 gonna be my year fr
STRANGER THINGS 5.07
You know, out of all my brother's friends, you're my favorite. You've always been my favorite.
NANCY WHEELER and DUSTIN HENDERSON in STRANGER THINGS
I feel like having wings violently burst out of your back would just feel really good. Like itd feel awful but also itd feel really satisfying.
Do you have any opinions
Yeah hehe
no more jokes about taylor swift's lyrics or about gaylor when all that does is distract from the fact that when it is no longer lucrative to present yourself as a liberal "progressive" artist she has quickly moved on to marrying and befriending trump supporters. i do not care if there was anything gay between her and her ex bestie when her new bestie brittany mahomes is being personally thanked by donald trump. i think it's a shame that all discourse i see on this site about her right now is about whether it's ridiculous and stupid to think she's not straight. what we should be talking about is what it means when the biggest international pop star is getting engaged to a trump supporter during a time when we are seeing eugenics white supremacy ads. i don't care to hear about the eras tour unless it's about how dave portnoy (a trump supporter and alleged rapist) got a personal handwritten note from her at the eras tour. it does not matter if you think she's a crap lyricist or the best lyricist of our generation when what matters is what her choice to align herself with maga signifies about the culture
Fuco Ueda
There are a lot of reasons to oppose monarchy but one of the most overlooked is that the king is always getting stuck in some kind of hazardous puzzle chamber filling up with gravel or lava or something. Do your fucking job man
I do often think about how the origin of “he would not fucking say that” was in reference to a post which depicted Cartman SouthPark responding politely when asked for his pronouns
meme phrases are so mobile and versatile and that's really really beautiful but i'm always thinking about the first "she x on my y til i z" being "she ebbin on my neezer til i scrooge" and the first "fork found in kitchen" coming from a tweet about sehun from exo being spotted at a gay bar. like sometimes you just utterly nail it the very first time and no variation of the joke is going to be better.
EXACTLY.
a small collection
HATE that this is a direct quote from taylor swift because unfortunately it is the funniest thing i have read today