noise dept.
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❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
Today's Document
tannertan36
sheepfilms
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"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
Sweet Seals For You, Always
EXPECTATIONS
Love Begins
bliss lane
h
Product Placement
RMH
Not today Justin
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
Fieri Frames
art blog(derogatory)
seen from Venezuela
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@ding-stringer
time to post sexy waterskiing witches
might i add black cat bikini lady
the final member of a stunning trilogy:
Beach Beauties Balance Bewitched Beach Ball
wait wait, there’s more!
Wicker Witch of the West Coast
What do you call three witches waterskiing?
and last but certainly NOT least:
You fools! Get out of the water! If you fall you'll melt!
maybe….flu shots should be….FREE this year
bullying people on the internet is bad but there’s a terf antivaxxer causing discourse in the notes and terfs should be bullied actually
who added this i love it
hear me out. we take bullies from high school, get 15 or 20 of them in a room, and throw some terfs in there or throw the cyber smith in there and tell em to go ham.
one of my least favorite things is a man
this was SUPPOSED to say “one of my least favorite things is a man pretending a woman is being unreasonable or incomprehensible bc he wants to get out of a conversation or a chore” but i copy pasted wrong dskjklfdsjfdsa
Behold, one of gaud’s least favorite things
🎶 These are a few of Guads least favorite things! 🎶
Men who pretend women aren’t being clear,
Blue whales and sea creatures worthy of fear,
Long-legged birds with chicks under their wings,
These are a few of Gaud’s least favorite things.
Homophobes, transphobes and all other bigots,
Important info that’s held behind spigots,
Time marching forward and all that it brings,
These are a few of Gaud’s least favorite things.
All the Republicans who made Trump leader,
Paperbacks not working like an e-reader,
When a cursed trap from their followers springs,
These are a few of Gaud’s least favorite things.
When your day’s good,
With no bee stings,
And you’re feeling glad,
Just look at Gaud’s blog and their least favorite things,
And then you will feel so bad.
I LIKE PAPERBACKS BUT I SHOULD BE ABLE TO CTRL+F
look if you really wanna piss someone off do the chore while blasting caramelldansen the entire time, none of this passive aggressive bullshit.
i’m fond of easter bc it always reminds me of how the story of jesus christ contains like, a huge amount of vampiric energy
i mean seriously, the promise of eternal life after death? rising from the damned grave? take, drink, this is my blood, this is my body? impaled by stakes on a fucking crucifix no less? intense vampire/zombie vibes here
Things I didn’t think to read today.
lazarus was the first documented instance of necromancy
so many great conspiracy theories and yet we’ve all been sleeping on JESUS LIVES IN A CRYPT UNDER THE VATICAN???
also considering how obnoxiously people who do the whole shebang with the blood are about being Good christians, thats like ghoul or whatever status. jesus is a vamp.
What would you do if I pulled the electrons from your body
i would feel positively about that
all the people complaining in the notes need to keep their negative energy to themselves
I’m going to elect to remain neutral
careful there, i’m keeping an ion you
Boo hoo, I'm quarking in my boots
That one was a little Forced, wasn’t it?
oh go fusion yourself
these replies are a little strange, but theyve got some charm.
Sometimes I just... put an entire bulb of garlic in the oven for awhile and eat the whole thing plain
Gaud this post and the spicy water post both have me convinced that you need a cookbook
everyone else is putting probiotics n electroydes n shit in their bottled water why can’t i add chili pepper
do you put a bulbs worth of garlic or just.... paper n all
So could a Dracula wear a cross if they either don’t know about Christianity or they were to make the cross unholy some how?
Yes. That’s my theory about draculas wearing Templar crosses. You meet a dracula and you’re like “dude… how and why are you wearing that?”
“What?” he asks, looking down at his blouse.
“That cross!” you say.
He frowns. “You mean my plus sign? That’s not a cross, it’s—”
“It’s a cross,” you say. “Remember the Knights Templar? Yikes! Nowadays it’s used by white nationalists and hate groups. You’re not some kind of neo-Nazi freak, are you?”
“No!” he cries, struggling to undo the pendant. It’s already starting to burn him. “Get it off! Get it off! Help me!” Red-tinged tears begin to well in his eyes. You help him remove it.
“I thought it was a math thing!” he wails as it clatters for the floor. “I love addition, you know… I thought it was just a fancy plus sign…”
What if the vampire had a different religion? Like a Jewish vampire? Would it be able to touch a Star of David? Would a cross still burn them? What about an atheist vampire? Or is is just not knowing what those things were? What about a pentagram? Cause technically it’s a symbol of religion? I have a lot of questions
The vampire’s personal beliefs are unimportant. All that matters is that the holy symbol is recognized as holy to some religion, and that the vampire is made aware of this.
An agnostic gentile could present a gentile vampire with a Magen David and the vampire would be like “…isn’t that a Jewish thing?”
“Yes.”
“Are you Jewish?”
“No.”
“Oh. Well, is this like when people thrust crosses at me? Does it hurt me?”
“Honestly…. I’m not sure? I don’t know enough about Judaism to say whether or not this should repel you.”
“…Would it be religiously insensitive of me not to be harmed by this? Or would it be more insensitive of me to assume that it would work the same as a crucifix, thereby interpreting Judaism from a culturally Christian perspective and treating the religious symbols as simply interchangeable window dressing?”
“That’s a good question. I think you should let me leave your castle so that I can ask a rabbi and come back with the answer.”
“Yes, that does seem to be wisest. Go, and hurry back! I eagerly await the verdict.”
this implies vampires being burned by crosses is a psychosomatic reaction
i personally like dresden files interpretation, which is that it isnt so much which faith it belongs it, as that it is a symbol of faith. harry uses his mothers pendant as a symbol of faith in magic to repel vampires several times.
*alleviates your anxiety by replacing it with new, less relevant anxiety”
*distracts you from the state of the world by giving you a phobia of blue whales*
Gaud its just a whale. Have you ever met a blue whale? It won’t hurt you.
listen fucker, whale songs can be twice as loud as a fucking jet engine, more than loud enough to burst eardrums, paralyze limbs and cause organ damage at close range. sperm whales, the loudest animal on the planet, could literally vibrate a human body to death. the sheer fact they don’t is either ignorance, choice, or lack of opportunity–not inability. as for blue whales (aka the biggest creature to exist ever despite the fact that megafauna roamed the earth for tens of millions of years before these fucks came around), well a blue whale’s corpse is capable of literally exploding from gas buildup. and that’s not even getting into my extreme visceral discomfort surrounding whale falls aka the process of a whale carcass falling abyssal depths of thousands and thousands of feet, just falling through the fucking water to the ocean floor and creating a complex localized ecosystem capable of sustaining who-knows-what kind of deep-sea terrors for decades, so kindly get fucked.
#and just like that you’re not thinking of coronavirus anymore
Jonah and the Whale, but the whale dies halfway thru the trip and jonah is carried to the bottom of the abyss inside the whale.
Gaud, can I have some T H A S S A L O P H O B I A. Something that makes me never wanna go to the ocean again? Thanks?
sure!!! let’s talk about spider crabs!!!
isn’t that fun???
isn’t that NEAT???
A CUTIE! HE DESERVES A HUG!
You don’t have to be ‘special’ or extraordinary talented to do the things you love. There exists plenty of space in the world for the creation of new things of all shapes and sizes.
When you have made a thing, you have made a thing. And there exists somewhere some person who would love and cradle it close to their chest.
What do you MEAN it’s not a shit post??? Where’s the whiplash?? Gaud are you ok?
well, it does mean people are allowed to create & bring art into the world as they see fit, and unfortunately someone saw fit to create these:
There it is
hey u asked
So THESE are the ones that get rid of doctors.
Congratulations ma'am, you have won this interaction
An apple a day keeps the coroner in pay
…ok you get a silver medal
Hey. Hey apple. Hey. Apple. Hey. apple! apple hey!
If my gender and sexuality aren't confusing people what's the point
To attract them
making cishet people experience inexplicable unease is more important to me than sexual fulfillment
you misunderstand. they dont mean sexual attraction. they mean the horror movie "if i check it out itll eat me. lets check it out" attraction.
*shoots cupid right back*
romance bow: stupid, awkwardly and clunky, risky to use
a fucking crossbow: cool as shit, aims v well, long distance, still clunky and awkward, abuses the physics engine of reality
Human, why have you come here?
i wanted a snack from the kitchen and got lost
It's more important than ever to stay healthy in these dark times! Here's some healthy eating and general nutrition guides for plant-based diets. Answering the all-too common "where do I get my iron, etc?" questions.
How to make substitutions:
Vegan superfoods and everyday staples:
how many sesame seeds do i need to forge a dagger
what is it about fungi that’s so mythical and freaky and set in humanities heads as “fable and Other Folk” fodder
the lore
the vibes
the spooky feeling in the Ghosts and Aliens Section of my brain that goes off
like, look at this and tell me that magic isn’t real and doesn’t want to strip us bare and use our souls as bartering chips in cosmic games of poker
mushrooms are an ancient force of growth and decay, life and rot, collapse and creation; they have been here long before us and will remain long after we’re gone- devouring that which kills us and creating that which forgets us.
it is best you tread carefully.
I’m studying biotech and every time someone brings up mushrooms our current professor will look either extremely exited or pained and go “listen.. mushrooms are neither plants nor animals nor something in between. They elude all attempts to categorize them. We do not know what they are. Some are immortal. Some produce live saving substances. Some are so closely related to humans that eating them may cause an allergic reaction against your own body. I cannot teach you about the mushrooms”
Oh to be a biotech professor and wax lyrical about the eldritch immortal mushroom.
@lumyri
the largest living being is a giant network of mushroom hyphae somewhere deep in Oregon’s blue mountains, It is thousands of years old, It covers 2384 acres, weighs 35 MILLION KGs (a kg is like 2 pounds) and thrives on sucking the life out of trees. we call it and it’s cousins honey mushroom.
Mushrooms were the first beings to truly conquer land and used to grow 8m up into the air. After the great dying 250 million years ago,mushroom forests covered the earth once more.
Mushrooms developed one of the most potent toxins in the world that kills most oranisms it comes into contact with, so that they do not have to compete with them. You know it as penicillin.
The nitrogen cycle which keeps all life outside of the ocean alive is unthinkable without the mushrooms growing in the roots of legumes.
There isn’t a being as eldritch and superlative yet silly and frivolous as a mushroom.
also I mean, look at this one
like okay I guess that’s a thing
and no one’s even mentioned their 36,000+ sexes yet
There are fungi in Chernobyl that have developed the ability to use gamma radiation as an energy source. They literally use melanin to synthesize energy from gamma radiation.
(These fungi are being studied as a potential source for anti-radiation drugs or for engineering substances that block radiation. This might be useful for space travel, better shielding of nuclear reactors, to reduce the impact of radiation therapy on cancer patients, etc).
Because FUNGI, people.
ya know humans are space orcs? wait until we manage to learn to dna splice with mushrooms or some shit. we will have ascended. mushrooms or lobsters
someone make a adhd/autism childhood bingo chart that includes
“stop being difficult”
“you’re being overly sensitive”
“picky eater”
referred to as ‘problem child’
THE TASTE. LINGERS. I DONT WANT NASTY ASS ONION JUICE INFUSING MY PINEAPPLE GOT DAMN PIZZA.
SPOILERS
So this is for Artemis Fowl: the last guardian.
I am still in shock of the fact that Mulch Diggums actually dies in the last book. I do to remember how he does, but I have a feeling he faked it again.
he did. its mentioned that the lep are 'holding a ceremony' for him but are actually giving him a medal.
