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@dinitian
neu mich (?)
hai. it is me again. after the very last post was thousand years ago. tut mir leid. but i guess, i will regularly have something to post here. egal, ob es dann einfach Foto oder Wörter oder Zitate oder was :D
first of all, here I wanna share the current recent thing I do
having a blast with this bunch of lovely people in my newest workplace here in Berau, Kalimantan Timur.
i will visit this site often then. see ya.
-Berau, 11.05.26-
Well hey it is the season of the year again. IT IS JUNE, AGAIN.
apa kabar, diri?
i know you are hanging there. like every single soul in this earth does. yeah. keep on hanging. striving. living. breathing. continuing. keep on going.
it is near your birthday. how does it feel to become 33 years old self? i dont know honestly. everyone does not know too. people always have their first thing when it comes to entering new year of life.
heart is not fully healed yet way better than two/three years ago. the pain is still there and always be there. you are living with it. no worries, you will get used to this.
carrier ways, alles in Ordung alhamdulillah. and so are my family and friends. i planned to live my life the fullest while being here in my beautiful hometown. i am taking care the relationship i have with them not only because i have the need to keep it to myself but i also make sure that they feel and still feel the same way. we have the mutual vibration, energy and respect as we nurturing this from time to time.
about the uncertainty that will coming along the way in the near future, how should i call it? well, i keep pray harder, manifesting all the good things like all wise people do, they say 😜
that is so far i can share here. i miss having those lovey dovey feeling, HELL YEAH I DO. but okay. will keep this writing stop here.
ps: writing this while sitting in a waiting room of ICCU hospital. bude is having a not good state of health and mas dio sleeping beside me on a chair. oh Allah, berikanlah yang terbaik 🥹🤲 mbak dian is on her way coming back home. i pray the best for them too.
alenia Yogyakarta serta serak sorai nyata; life lately
Been workin on some words dedicated for my thirteen happy pils, that are my classmates when I lived for 10 months in Yogyakarta. But it stucks and sucked to be exact. LOL. Then I come with this eventually. The feeling of fear and do not wanting to let go of (mostly) happy moments I had there, was the red line of my writing.
Well then, can I now letting that go? I dont think I can. Maybe it is a sign that it must have been a really good memory I want to keep forever. Instead of letting go and busy thinking how to let that go, better to live with it. Play along, hold it. But not too tight so that I can freely doing whatever I do without feeling pressure.
Alenia Yogyakarta will have its own deep meaning for me and maybe only me knowing of how big it is to deal with. Well, thank you for letting me know the other side of me. Being student in this age and at that moment, being vulnerable, having a brand new surrounding, met new people (that now become friends) and the list goes on and on and on. All that have shaped me who I am today. The life chapter that I did not expected and planned turns out being the best one.
Now that I already at home after almost fourteen years living outside, make me thinking on many aspects of life that never been on my mind before. One of them is spending time together with parents. Living on daily mundane life of online-german teacher, just zooming my life away every nite, can make me puke on some sort of point. But that is life!
How many people needs the job I do today and do not have the chance to. I should be more thankful. Well, I do. But the boring dull and lacking of variations activities just burn me alive.
Thus I just figured out on how Allah make me realize that He loves me through the people I long time can not meet. They are still there, loving me by staying there, standing, seeing without necessarily touch me. Evidently having a fortunate time to talk to and sharing life updates. It warms my heart to (again) meet wonderful human who are close enough to see that they are care. They dont judge me.
It is kind a unmatch on what I experienced lately. I was asked by a close friend that I think we are adjacent enough because of our 13 years of being bff. But I think it was not. He popped up a massage that asked on how am I feeling if he told the other friend of my marriage update. Oh I just pissed off until I have no words but TERSERAH. Surprisingly he still confront me on is it okay to still saying it or not. FUCKING HELL UP TO YOU.
Oh Lord, forgive me.
Another awkward feeling that happened lately. We were sitting, eating, laughing, telling stories and shits, joking and what not. Then he just said the word to me, on me, in front of me and our friends. I just had heart attack actually but I decided to continue laughing. OH FUCK. To get cursed by your (thought) close friend was just that hurt. But I know it is life, after all. You can not only taste its sweetness but also you have to taste the bitterness too. To make it balance, they say!
All and all for those who happen in need of learning new languages or wanting to take German Certificate. I am available. Call me soon! Am a B2 ECL Certificate holder, btw. Hihi. Love love. Peace out!
It's my 13 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳
gelungan emosi di tiga satu mei
ya Allah udah delapan bulan. dua semester. sebuah keputusan yang sebenarnya bukan tidak dipikirkan, namun lebih dilakukan karena untuk dicoba. tidak ada dalam rencana. diluar perkiraan bmkg, aslik. ternyata menjadi sisipan bagian hidup yang bermakna.
bulan mei ini terasa penuh sepenuh penuhnya. tidak hanya jadwal rangkaian kuliah saja, namun juga hal laain yang tidak bisa ditunda pula. liburan misalnya. karena memang tanggal merah bulan ini sungguh merona. banyak bet cuy, sayang kan kalau diskip aja.
diawali dengan studi wisata ke malang. pulang kampung ceritanya, gapapa. kasihan teman² se Indonesia di Jogja yang belum pernah ke malang. anggap aja nganterin mereka. seru. kalian rek yang bikin seru 🥹
lanjut penarikan PPL II di sekolah. bye bye. sedih tapi seneng tapi ya gitu. alhamdulillah selesai. lanjut kuliah offline cuman lima hari 😭. terus dadakan kek tahu bulat siap² take video untuk UKin a.k.a. ujian nasionalnya kami para mahasiswa PPG Prajab. tentu sangat tidak bisa dilupakan, aku giliran pertama dari kita berempatbelas untuk maju ke medan perang. lancar? i hope so 😭 bismillah insyaAllah aman. dipenghujung pekan aku diselamatkan oleh saudariku the one and only from Mojosari 🤣 kita healing ke Kaliurang atas dan bablas ke Solo. that was a really nice 24 hours escape! thank you so much.
huru hara UKin masih belum selesai dilanjutkan dengan tagihan LMS a.k.a. tugas/paper kami yang harus diselesaikan semuanya dan harus sudah beres maksimal tanggal dua delapan. tidak hanya admin jurusan yang menagih bak debt collector masih ditambah admin DPPK dan dosen pula.
tibalah pada long weekend bertabur tanggal merah. sebuah dilema yang pada akhirnya tidak kusesalkan karena maksa melakukan keduanya. aku sok ide datang ke teman kelompok ku untuk diskusi Gelar Karya. aku jujur pada mereka untuk absen saat persiapan pameran. tetapi banyak ide dan bahan seadanya yang kupunya, kuberikan dan kutitipkan. while having guilt for not being present to help them, i went to go on a long planned trip with my sister and the gank.
resikonya, di bandara ngerjain UAS. turun pesawat nunggu bagasi lanjut edit canva buat UAS. in between jalan-jalan edit words, isi tabel, koordinasi persiapan pameran. di bus (semua pada napping) kerjain UAS lagi sambil nahan mual. di taksi menuju bandara mau balik pulang, check list LMS mana aja yang belum terkumpul. hft, all done. my PPG life is near to an end.
well there was a lil drama on the way back to Jogja from Surabaya. maksud hati ngejar kereta pukul 20.00 di stasiun Gubeng. apa daya jam 18.40 baru keluar Juanda karena ketahan di imigrasi untuk isi form pernyataan blah blah blah ~ mau nanges tapi tetap yaqueen. lanjut naksi sampai pom bensin besar itu (lupa namanya) untuk gojek ke Gubeng. alhasil 19.34 masih sampai perempatan taman pelangi 😭 udah gabisa, kita naik bus aja. kena calo pula, aslinya cuman 125 kena 265 😭 gapapa istighfar, Allah negur karena kurang amal. astaghfirullah.
sampai kosan pukul 01.32 dini hari. bangun jam 06.00 karena sengaja, lagi ga sholat. terus diingatkan dan dibangunkan teman. GET UP! WASH UP! sambil masih jet lag berangkat ke kampus diiringi grumpy karena tampilan gelar karya kurang seperti yang dibayangkan. ternyata pengunjung sampai di angka 170-an orang! lumayan yah daripada lumanyun 🥹
tanggal dua sembilan seminar PPG. kami UAS mata kuliah itu dengan ditanyai oleh para dosen dan Guru Pamong. deg-deg an lumayan. alhamdulillah the show went well. tiga puluh kemarin lumayan bisa bernafas. tapi masih juga ditagih tugas. padahal nilai sudah terpampang nyata hadir di canvas (LMS). hari ini niat hati menyelesaikan tugas itu, namun terkendala motivasi yang tak kunjung kembali.
.............
gak tau mau mengawali nulis bagian ini dengan apa. teringat jelas pesan dan kesan yang kami luapkan di tanggal dua sembilan. kami berempat belas berasal dari belahan provinsi di pulau Jawa, Sulawesi dan Nusa Tenggara Barat. kami bertiga (perempuan semua) berada di tingkat paling atas untuk kategori usia. iya termasuk aku 😒 srikandi ini berasal dari Solo, Ponorogo dan Banyuwangi.
Mbak Octa adalah teman pertama yang kukunjungi rumahnya karena pada saat itu gabut dan belum punya teman juga 😅 she is very patience and a putri Solo alike. keibuan sekali. she also has a doraemon big backpack. mau minta apa, tissue? jelas ada. HDMI? gas! fr*shcare? sok silahkan. payung? monggo. wait. jajan atau kue atau permen? habiskan! 😅 mbak, thank you so much for everything. you always remind me to take this and that buat lengkapin semua tugas. you didnt mind to pick us up eaaarly in the morning and taking us back home laaaate night pas kita studi wisata kemarin. you have a wonderful heart. glad our path cross! 🫰
The next one is Mbak Sisca. She is quite fierce and i love her for that. Our personalities are not far enough so we could blend so well. Kecuali aku lebih vokal dan galak aja sih. Mbasis iya juga tapi kadarnya 0.1 kalau aku 100 😂 She is sometimes savage in some cases and brutally honest with every talk we were talking. And she is a very lovable mom. She has a handsome son. Oh wait, Mbak Octa also has three children. They are truly wonder mom. Appreciate you always, Moms! 🫶
terus ada Sam Ida. well i know you dont like this nick name but sorry, thats how we (arema) call a name to express our good friendship that we are close enough to call each other like that. Mas Adi itu ketua kelas kita. Stand up comedian ala ala yang dengan ikhlas dan sabar menampung segala aspirasi rempong dua belas ciwi-ciwi di kelas. He has a good good heart. Sabar pula. Aku punya teman lelaki yang sabar, tapi imo mas adi termasuk yang suabar. vielen herzlichen Dank, für alles!
lanjut ke teman lelaki kita satu lagi di kelas. Fauzi. ya Allah bocil satu ini emang masih bocil. jadi rerata usia teman di kelasku ini adalah gen Z kelahiran 2000/2001. yak betul. usia kami terpaut delapan tahun. mereka ini seusia muridku yang sekarang sudah lulus S1 di Jerman dan udah kerja 🫠 dunia ini memang kadang eh enggak. seringnya suka ngajakin bercanda, Zi. ketawain aja. meskipun dalam hati nangis-nangis 😅 thank you for the help. maap maap nih kamu sering kena omelanku. as so you know, i never have any intentions on hurting people. i just say what i have in mind with that little high note. sorry.
masih sembilan lagi. banyak yah kalian! wkwk. kita ke Makassar gank dulu aja.. these four girls indeed come from afar. mereka datang jauh, bela-belain ke Jawa untuk belajar lagi. wahda si paling ekstrovert diantara kami semua. kalau dia sudah bersabda semua kepala langsung menoleh padanya. karena sabdanya pakai nada sembilan oktaf. bahkan yang di luar kelas pun terdengar 😅 i love you, wahda. kamu hebat, you fight for whatever it is in front of you to get the very best thing. kamu baca dengan sabar dan telaten semua modul kuliah kita baru menjawab pertanyaan²nya. aku? tentu saja hanya mencari yang ditanya 😅 biar cepat bisa selesaikan yang lainnya. saat-saat kita nugas di kosmu sambil bergosip kala itu, akan selalu menjadi kenangan buatku 💃 kamu juga si paling dokumentasi. semua harus rapih ada foto. biar ada kenangannya, katamu. ah aku pasti rindu semua celetukan² ala Makassarmu. eh kodong e, mulai melow ini 🤧
Fira dan Ela. Ela dan Fira. kalian yah! masyaAllah sampai PPL pun sama². bahkan dari kuliah S1. fira looks a very shy girl for the very first time i saw her. ternyata emang iya! mana polos banget, ya Allah bocil! 😅 fir.. selain jadi bendahara yang amanah dan rapi dan sabar. kamu tuh full of bright ideas loh. ppt kamu juga kelihatan rapih dan pas aja gitu. ga too much tapi bagus. pas pokoknya. aku suka minta ajarin kamu beberapa tricks main canva. thanks for that. maaf yah aku suka kelepasan ga translate ke bahasa indonesia. emang kadang setelan mulutku susah switch dari jawa ke indo, fir. wkwk. tut mir leid.
Ela, kamu ngajarin aku buat being present. ketika ada yang sedang berbicara denganmu, kamu dengan bahasa tubuhmu akan otomatis menghadap ke lawan bicara dan mendengarkan dengan penuh atensi yang tidak terbagi. ide-ide kamu juga suka membagongkan tau el. Makassar pride nih emang. kalian keren, rek!
srikandi terakhir dari Bone ini. ya Allah Nidar, semoga Allah memaafkan semua prank yang kubuat untukmu ya. asli niatku bukan untuk ngetawain, tapi biar kamu lebih aware dan ga mudah percaya sama orang lain. i learn a lot from you too loh. kenapa sabar banget sih jadi orang? wkwkwk jahat dikit boleh tau. sekali kali ya kan. asal jahatnya ga niat jahat beneran. tau kan maksud aku? 😂 apapun itu, semoga yang sudah kamu niatkan baik akan terkabul yah. soon or later. jangan lupakan aku! wkwk laf yu.
sekarang kita ke NTB. Mataram pride, Inas. ya Allah jiwa suroboyoku meronta setiap kali ngobrol sama kamu, Nas. meskipun seringnya kamu ya gak tau maksudku 😅 tapi I appreciate your will for trying to understand me. ncene arek UNESA ya. wkwk. Nas, i remember our conversations about we both know what. Apapun yang akan terjadi setelah ini, selamat kamu akan memulai yang kamu impikan. Kabarin jadinya jualan apa. Aku pingin beli! you are strong but you allow to not to be strong too. being vurnerable doesnt mean you are weak. justru kamu strong karena berani nunjukin sisi kamu yang itu. i learn that from you. belum tentu aku berani gitu juga. Go Inas Go Inas Go!
lanjut ke teman sebangku Inas, Yuly. nih bocil satu si paling ambis dan rajin nugas dan ngafé dan ibadah. masyaAllah tabarakallah. all and all kalau ngobrol apa aja sama kamu suka nyambung sih yuls. tua juga ternyata lo. wkwk. we both dont have any difficulities to adjust here and there just because we are the cablaks gank. yang selalu langsung konek kalau ngomongin LMS. langsung gas kalau diajakin jalan. si paling vlog juga. tanpa lo aku gaada video vlog ala ala di ig story sih yuls. lo dan Fira adalah vlogger kami. repost ig story: SIAP! ternyata dibalik sosok kuat bisa apa-apa semua sendiri, cengeng juga. wkwk. janjian jangan-jangan sama Inas? ayo ngaku! 😅 aku juga sih sebenernya cuman ga ditunjukin aja. malu 🫣 kalau ada apa-apa (nikah) kabarin. ntr aku naik kereta ke Bogor, dandan pakai kebaya syantik 🧕
yuks terus ke Pemalang kita. Teni Novianti. wkwk si paling muda diantara kita berempat belas. sesama jawa tapi suka roaming kalau ngobrol. istilahé bedha. hahah. i will miss our random chit chats and missunderstandings ten. kebaikan dan kehematanmu akan selalu menjadi yang dikenang. main lah ke rumahku. tak ajak ke Gunung Ijen. pasti kamu ga mau? 😅 thanks for telling me about C*tta that day so that i can make money tudey. soto ibu kantin dan donat depan fotokopi akan jadi kenangan khusus dari kamu. Prost untuk Teni Guru Bahasa Jerman Teladan se-Pemalang!
balqis. selain fira, balqis is the other quiet person on class. very, actually. tapi to be fair, you were the first person i sit with in our very first day Meeting at campus. terus aku main ke kosan teman pertama kali juga ke kosmu. gimana ga enaknya ketika kita harus PPL jauh dari kampus, sedangkan untuk pindah kos terdekat ga memungkinkan, masih keingat jelas di memoriku. pahit emang gabisa lepas dari hidup ya, qis. tapi insyaAllah manisnya kita akan dapat sebentar lagi. thank you for telling me that thru those memories. kayanya kamu juga pernah (atau sering? 🥹) kena omelanku. noch mal, we both jawa timur-ians right? you know i never meant to hurt you, dont you? 😅 wkwk sek mekso i lo. sukses qis! we'll keep in touch ya?
maula zahra. si kalem yang paling sering kena semprotan hama. ra, kamu ikhlas kan? aku lo ga maksud ngomeli. cumae yo ncene ngono. wkwk. ya Allah ra, koyo nemu adik ilang. meskipun agak butuh waktu untuk melakukan beberapa hal, kamu ngajari aku buat sabar dan teliti. yes you are right, you are the real observer. aku ga sesabar dan setelaten itu. dari belanja bareng, masak sampai aku ngungsi ke kamarmu pas kena gempa bumi lokal waktu itu. koyoe agak susah dilupakan 😅 jajan is lyfe. i love us for that. setiap rabu malam kajian Pak Faiz juga akan jadi tambahan memori tak terlupakan selama di Jogja. thank you for accepting while juggling everyday with my omelans. tut mir sehr leid, pasti ada gak sengaja menyungging perasaan. tak tunggu di Banyuwangi. kita ke Ijen, ojok lama-lama. balung tuwek rodok angel ra nek kesuwen 🤭 laf yu lil sis 🫶
Rek, makasih banyak sudah membersamai proses belajar both about life and the study itself. I cant thank you guys enough for everything. You dont know how deep it is for me to go thru this. Before meeting you my life was a nearly dissaster. But then Allah gave me a way to go to Jogja. To meet you all. Million herzlichen Dank. I know i will meet you again. Laf you. So much 🫶
tentang seberapa kuat seorang dapat bertahan
di tengah badai, petir, ombak besar, gempa bumi bahkan virus mematikan
sesungguhnya kekuatan yang ada di dalam diri yang sok kuat berasal dari Allah semata
bukankah jika sok kuat justru tidak percaya pada Allah yang Maha Kuat untuk menguatkan kita?
bukankah Allah tidak menguji hambaNya jika yang bersangskutan tidak kuat menopang?
menjadi lemah, rapuh, luruh sesungguhnya adalah bentuk lain dari percaya. bentuk lain dari kuat itu sendiri.
terima kasih, diri. sudah bersabar dalam deraian ujian yang sungguh tidak kecil ini. sudah bertahan walau compang camping untuk tetap percaya. bahagia akan tiba.
Allah selalu bersama. percayalah.
Yogyakarta, Sechszehnten Zwölften 23.
thirty! well plus one. LOL
thank you for keeping yourself sane. thank you for always having hopes. thank you for hanging in there. you've passed another year with yeah njungkir njempalik gulung kuming BUT YOU ARE SURVIVE.
mami adik might not say happy birthday today, maybe they are too busy and happy with Nadim. it is okay, you still have Qenis to say it. one of your bestfriend asked you about that horrible thingy. another one just tagged you in instagram that she reread the book you gave over and over.
din, you are blessed. it might be the craziest thing youve decided lately. but in the end of the day you did. it is okay. you will find a way or another.
cheer up! and yeah, happy birthday din. HAPPY birthday :)
Hello again, you. Yes you din. Yourself.
It is quite odd to write this to say halo to myself but i still do it anyway. Life's update is as fucked up as i can imagine it would be. I created some messes here and there. Trying to renavigate things. Continue podcasting my life away. Staying my face expression still as flat as i can make it be.
After all din, thank you for hanging there. Thank you for not giving up lifting yourself up. Thank you to always going forward while fixing the mess.
As i saw the sun going to set this evening, i realized on something that we can not control. How meticulous you are planning things, having another B C D - Z alternatives, if it doesnt meant to be then it will never happend.
How fast i try to capture the sun on my camera phone the way i want it, i would never get the perfect photo. Well yo soale camera hpku elek ae se 😅 well anyhow, it is what it is.
Still try wanting to flip the very last page on my latest book, yes Becoming Michelle Obama ku durung bar bar. Plis! But i made it in 14 pages so far today.
Looking forward on what will head me through the long weekend. Gonna have my cheeky niece around, my 8 month pregnant sister and my brother as well.
Schönes langes Wochenende, everyone! 🤍
To keep on writing.
I suddenly want to remind myself the aiming of having this tumblr account was to keep stories on daily life in storage.
I may not regularly post something here, but it is certain that i do mean every single word i put into paragraphs in this page. Moments, tragedies, issues and all that i have been through was well written pack on archive divided on each month of the year.
back on 2011 when a very good friend of mine told me to make a blog. because i love reading novels and telling stories. LOL. she might be thinking, you better write those shits of yours in a blog rather than talking non stop since day until night. well then i made this tumblr account. danke dir, Zera! it has been hella 12 years of me pouring up my crowded mind in this blue app.
i recently diving myself in the ocean words by Michelle Obama on her Becoming. thus it still on 100th page. waaay more to go until i can wrap up the book. at the same time, i read on Instagram that Vivy Yusof will have a signing book event on Jakarta soon. she is a Malaysian mom of 4, an entrepeneur herself and lately a writer. i followed her on IG since century ago. means i know the writing process of her first book. oh Gott. i really wanna have one copy!
long story short, i want to keep on writing on this page as I dream of writing my own book in the next future. i dont want to make it big like everyone has to read it or the book should be on top of bookshelf labeled BEST SELLER. oh no, i humbly just want to keep my mementos of life on a book so that my children and grandchildren can at least take something from it.
writing this on the train. to go back to my home. to the very east corner of Java. will see you again next time. tschüß!
Nggak apa-apa untuk mengakui bahwa diri sendiri lelah, kelelahan dengan hidup yang menyesakkan setiap harinya. Hari demi hari yang ingin cepat berlalu, tidur menjadi waktu istirahat meski tak lagi ingat kapan tidur nyenyak. Senyenyak dulu. Dulu waktu menjalani hidup ini dengan penuh rasa bahagia dan khawatir, tapi tetap dijalani dengan penuh rasa percaya. Rasa itu kini telah mati, bertahun lalu, saat perjalanan ini dimulai. Memulai jalan yang salah.
Salahnya aku tak berpikir panjang. Panjang anganku mengalahkan rasionalitasku untuk lebih bijak. Kebijaksanaan yang saat itu belum tumbuh dalam diriku yang penuh energi tapi tidak hati-hati.
Nggak apa-apa untuk mengakui bahwa diri ini sangat lelah. Terlalu banyak masalah, mau kembali tapi tak memiliki rumah. Merasa arus kuat, meski tidak tahu harus ke mana dengan masalah yang serumit ini. Dan berbohong terus menerus setiap harinya, mengatakan bahwa hidupku baik-baik saja.
Tak hanya ke orang lain, tapi juga diriku sendiri. ©kurniawangunadi
first anniv
365 days ago was exactly our very fisrt video on YouTube published. while munching kerupuk of my nasi goreng pete ikan asin, i write this all down here. my thought was on right to the point of one reason why i agreed my sister to do this. oh dear dini, you passed these two hella years.
only me and God know who what the tragedy was. oh my dear God, thank you for making me go this far. keeping me sane. holding me on this faith i have since baby. giving me those lovely and understanding people around.
you have to be proud on yourself for hanging on that enormous wave disaster. thank you, din!
oh and happy first anniversary Dini and Juju 🫰🏻
from A to Z
this past few months made me forget that i have tumblr. i have this media for me to pour all my feelings. a lot of things happened. uncountable. wkwk lebay. but it indeed yes, it really is a lot.
I got myself sent my CV in one of the biggest Islamic Boarding School in East Java. And just like that I went on the very last step of the process. After that stage, I can just wait the time to teach in class next June. But things happen, the ridiculous one. Right after I recite my bacaan solat plus doa qunut for Sholat Subuh, one of the teacher reqruitment team told me to follow her to Headmaster Office. Well I said to myself feeling so smug, this must be something special. Voila! The Headmaster himself told me with a sour smiley face, we are very sory that we can not accept you join us this June.
I answered awkwardly, well thank you for giving me chance until this phase then. I hope we can (not) work on some other time. BHYE. Wkwk. Curiosity do kill the cat. I asked the teacher, the one whom sitted near the Headmaster, what is the reason. Is it because of my bacaan sholat? She answered me not but a shy awkward smiley nod. HELL YEAH.
WTH. I cursed at myself. Yelled loudly in my heart that only me could hear it. Oh my holy crap, I know that the school is based with NU, one of Islam Organization here in Indonesia. The biggest one. In other hand, I was told since kid in my elementary school which is SD MUHAMMADIYAH that bacaan sholat dari takbir sampai salam ya seperti itu. There is a different bacaan sholat here between NU and MD. AND JUST BECAUSE OF THAT I WAS REJECTED. NOT BECAUSE OF MY CAPABILITY DOING MY JOB BUT BECAUSE MY BACAAN SHOLAT.
Funny enough, tho? It is very hilarious until i laugh my ass off and it left pain in the ass. Look, you made a program for your students since grade 10-12 in high school to get B1 Certificate, so after that they can go to grad school in Germany. Well, yeah.. gausah jauh-jauh ke Jerman kalau nerima guru harus sama persis sis plek ketiplek NU, yang bacaan sholatnya pakai doa iftitah kabiro, bukan allahumma bait baiyni.
Once your students enter Germany or another hella country out there, they will see not only so many Mahzab in Islam but also thousands of different hella people doing shits of their life. Come on, I know who am I writing all this down here CALMLY bubbling butts, but yeah.
I wish you all the BEST LUCK. And the best of all our understanding towards each other. Habib Jafar once said in his latest video with Prof Magnis Suseno, being a tolerance people doesnt mean we believe different thing of what other’s do, it is what human do. I strongly guess, human only do and believe the most true thing come from the deepest heart. And that doesnt need any kind of theories of tolerance shitty. We just be kind. Human is kind.
akankah berubah
"mbak, apakah laki-laki itu akan berubah setelah menikah?" tanya seorang adik. saya diam sebentar, coba memilih jawaban yang paling tepat--sesuai pengalaman dan pengamatan.
toh akhirnya, saya hanya bisa bilang yang sering dibilang orang. "pernikahan nggak akan mengubah siapa-siapa, baik laki-lakinya maupun perempuannya. alih-alih, pernikahan menunjukkan jati diri seseorang. jadi, jangan berharap seseorang akan berubah karena pernikahan. kalau sebelum menikah saja ada bagian yang sulit diterima, setelah menikah--kemungkinan besar--akan lebih sulit lagi bagian itu bisa diterima."
saya berpikir lagi. lebih lama sekarang.
"tapi pernikahan juga membuat baik si laki-laki maupun si perempuan bertumbuh lebih dewasa. mungkin di sana bedanya berubah dengan bertumbuh. mengubah seseorang itu seperti membengkokkan atau mematahkan dahan. sementara, bertumbuh bersama seseorang itu seperti dahan-dahan yang semakin panjang ke arah datangnya cahaya matahari. bertumbuh bersama itu alami dan tanpa usaha."
Nanti, kita lihat hujan di tempat lain. Boleh berteduh, berlarian pun tidak akan ada yang melarang.
dezember
i felt so small. there was so many creators with millions subs. look at me with just 400 ish subs. "dont underestimate 400 people who already subscribed to watch you. it is a lot." he said.
it was a glimpse of our conversations in between maghrib and isya time. in a coffee shop. in the middle of Park Hyatt and Sarinah. just around 40 mins before we rushed to the station. to get his maghrib time in last 10 mins before isya.
weve spent time together in about 2 hours. went to taste his fav coffee. ordered cinnamon roll. talked each other's life update, even it was almost me who was starting to chat. he prayed maghrib. we also bumped into a basic-stranger-dialogue with a humbled 70 years old man in front of Mushola St Gondangdia. less than 3 minutes came our train.
we talked not that as much as we chat in any social media platform. we just, well me personally, absorbing the time we shared. was being mindfull and thought a lot at the same time. about me, him.
i forgot already what weve discussed and bickered, but his gula jawa latte and cinnamon cake insist to stay forever in my head.
an afternoon late well spent, dear friend.
keluar kotak
maybe it has been too long for me to not seeing the beauty outside the box i am in. been so long.
well, i tried once on last July. i dragged myself out, for a second. but i just realized that it was not freeing myself on whatever trapped me now. it was indeed a relieve. but not relieved.
my last trip in these past two weeks got me thinking a lot. a very good friend of mine, she thought me something I believe strongly about my feelings. but then later that I know, I did buried them. it was an Aha! moment. okay i will do it soon.
i also filled my love tank by visiting my bestest friend. we did planed something for so long. trip for just us two. well three, when her sister wanting to be included :) i felt like one of our (my) promises are paid. cash. even if it is not like what we wanted to be. i am sure it was not that bad.
thank you for those who are always supporting me. thus who are always meeting me in our own prayers every 5 times a day. you know who you are. i love you. hope time will make us meet in the near future.
love,
d
Cuma ganti urutan kata, tapi beda banget hasilnya
Gue pertama tahu mindset ini dari @pandji.pragiwaksono
Dulu banget jaman masih rajin nulis di blog, bang pandji bikin seri tulisan “Susah, Tapi Bisa” buat mendokumentasikan perjalanan mempopulerkan stand up comedy di Indonesia. Seri tulisan yang akhirnya dikumpulkan jadi buku Merdeka Dalam Bercanda.
Inti pola pikirnya gini
Pola pikir pertama itu realistis, lalu pesimis. Bilangnya “bisa”, tapi setelahnya diikuti alasan: “Tapi susah” .
Bayangin deh nada bicara dan mimik muka orang yang ngomong “Bisa, tapi susah” .
Kerasa banget kan pesimisnya. Gue sih akan sulit berharap dapet hasil maksimal dari orang yang bilang kata-kata ini. Termasuk diri gue sendiri
Sementara pola pikir kedua itu realistis, lalu optimis
Bayangin deh nada bicara dan mimik muka orang yang ngomong “Susah, tapi bisa”
Rasanya lebih tenang. Orang ini tahu jalannya ga akan gampang, tapi ada harapan dan semangat juang
Sama orang kayak gini, kita bisa berharap banyak. Karena mindsetnya pejuang
Gue lagi berusaha terus buat konsisten menerapkan pola pikir kedua
Karena apapun yang kita hadapi dalam hidup:
Susah, tapi pasti bisa — view on Instagram https://ift.tt/HOzm0A3
