That's T, for Tyrannosaur

I'm just a towering, small-armed gal, looking for an unsuspecting gallimimus to munch on.

[xanaxfarts]

Sailor Moon Skylines

[artbyblastweave]

How'd I cut back on caffeine? The usual. Diet, discipline. One thing that helped a lot was that I harnessed the void. I tapped into the little incipient void which sits at the heart of every thinking animal, and I fed it. I hatefully nurtured it with every malicious thought, every unkind impulse, every knee-jerk reaction best discarded, and it gorged on these things it metastasized. It swelled past the confines of my heart and fought for space with with my stomach, my liver, my intestines, winning handily, subsuming each in turn, until I was little more than a man-shaped howling wrathful abyss sheathed in taut, paper-thin human hide, wandering through this fallen world in anticipation of whatever fleeting offense finally catalyzes my inevitable rupture and detonation. And now I'm down to two, maybe three cups a day

[jewish-joy]

Last year, I befriended a Catholic seminarian. We've gotten to be pretty decent friends. Seeing as he was staying in town for the summer and I wasn't, I entrusted him with caring for my plant.

He did a wonderful job, but as he was returning my plant to my custody, he explained "I watered her every other day, I gave her new dirt, moved her into the sunshine, prayed the rosary-"

"What?"

He looked at me, confused. "Isn't she a plant you pray with?"

"No," I said slowly. "She's a prayer plant. That's the... colloquial name of the plant."

Upon seeing his stricken face, I realized something went wrong. Turns out, this entire time, he's been including my plant in on his prayers and leaving her near icons.

Listen, totally cool. My plant becoming Catholic is a great deal for her not dying over the summer. But now I must navigate this interfaith household. Keep me in your thoughts.

[jellyfishforest135]

Typical science teacher behavior

[semusepsu]

One of my favorite things about Put Baby In Pelican Mouth is that not only does the pelican have the intelligence necessary to speak human language but also knows how to lie, suggesting it has a theory of mind, yet not enough to understand that no one is going to put baby in pelican mouth.

[gallusrostromegalus]

To be entirely fair to the pelican, I have seen humans do much, much dumber things with their infants. The park rangers in Louisiana ha e to regularly tell people to not put their babies on the ground next to the gators for a pic.

In fact, it could be argued that the peculiar grammar used by the pelican in the Put Baby In Pelican Mouth post is deliberate, like how phishers use major grammar errors in their messages so that people too smart for the scam (or smart enough to report them) ignore the emails and the scammer can focus on the most likely marks.

Regardless, the pelican is right: there is absolutely someone dumb enough to put a baby in its mouth because it asked politely. Probably dozens on that beach alone.

[kyraneko]

Put baby in pelican mouth for Instagram photo. Facebook photo of baby in pelican mouth for many likes and also happy asleep baby. So cute baby in pelican mouth for video on TikTok. Youtube short of baby so cute in soft pelican mouth for so many views to Youtube channel. Baby in pelican mouth challenge.

[misscrazyfangirl321]

Being an adult will have you unironically craving a vegetable

[misscrazyfangirl321]

Being an adult will have you unironically sad about a parasite outbreak in fresh vegetables.

[metanarrates]

the response to "your demographic is full of people who are ugly and weird and undesirable" should not ever be "not true! some of us are in fact hot and normal and desireable." you should stand with weird ugly bitches bc otherwise you're just playing a losing game with bigots.

[waterandsilver]

if you have to rely on specific scripts or turns of phrase to socialise that's totally fine, but you must NOT reveal them to your friends while slightly drunk. it's like showing how the magic trick works, you can't do it in front of them afterwards

[waterandsilver]

i like dogs a lot but i can never remember the differences between breeds (apart from the few types i've actually owned/interacted with). but i know people looove their dogs and love talking about their dogs, so whenever im talking to a dog owner i'll ask what breed it is, and no matter what breed they say i'll say "oh! i've heard they have a really nice nature :D" and they always go YESSS THEY'RE GREAT and start gushing about their dog and we have a nice conversation and i build social credit with this person. anyway i told my friends about this script a few weeks ago when slightly drunk and now every time we're in public together and a dog goes past they turn to me and ask "does that one have a nice nature?" im in a hell of my own making

[normystical]

wedding dresses are white specifically so that if the bride goes axe-crazy you can rest assured you will see the blood stains all over her and it'll be sick as fuck

[the-actual-ocean]

The Entirety of Tumblr from Tumblr has been Chucked in to the ocean! You're all wet now.

[goldenretriever-boyfriend]

[ilovecats4ever]

[chaneilkular]

JOHN BOYEGA Pirelli Calendar 2025

[dogpuppy]

[nineteenyearoldmeblog]

im fucking crying

[rhaenyratargeryen]

We go together.

DAISY RIDLEY as REY, JOHN BOYEGA as FINN, OSCAR ISAAC as POE DAMERON in STAR WARS: THE RISE OF SKYWALKER (2019)

[gumy-shark]

playing stupid games but im really bad at them so im not even winning the stupid prizes

[wolfderolfe]

i had a vision last night that absolutely ruined me. a bra, but it’s overalls. denim with the straps you have to tie and everything. but it’s a bra!

[wolfderolfe]

overbralls

[everythingisstardust]

I’m horrified that she’s actually considering it

[mctreeleth]

I mean, of course I would be considering it, having dumb sewing ideas is basically 90% of my personality.

…oh wait no I went one further than considering it I did do it…

I ended up not going with the front fly closure, in part because the shortest opened ended metal zipper I could get was 40cm long and also TWELVE DOLLARS(!) but also because I got annoyed with trying to work out the equivalent of a waistband for the bust curve - this one has a button closure at the centre back but I think next time I would go to the effort of sewing a proper bra hook-and-eye closure because it is a bit hard to wrangle on and off.

(If you want one of your own, the pattern for mine was once McCalls M7937 before I re-did it to my personal preferences and to be a bikini top rather than an outerwear top, but view B is pretty much this except slightly longer and with straps that are, you know, not overalls.)

[definitlynotafiredemon]

Jra for your joobies

[oliviadumhan]

JOHN BOYEGA as Finn STAR WARS: EPISODE IX – THE RISE OF SKYWALKER (2019) dir. J.J. Abrams