Satoru Gojo
Yn's Mom: Hey, Gojo-san!! My, my, look at you, standing here like our very own Adonis. Come on in, you absolute heartthrob!
Satoru: laughs Thank you, Mrs. LN(Your last name). I must say, you look absolutely radiant today. You're like a timeless beauty, defying age itself.
Yn's Mom: blushes Oh, you smooth talker! Flattery will get you everywhere.
Satoru: Well, I can't help but admire someone who looks so much younger than their age. You must have discovered the fountain of youth, Mrs.LN.
Yn's Mom: Oh, stop it, you! You really know how to charm a lady. Maybe I should introduce you to my friends. They'd be thrilled to meet someone who appreciates their youthful spirits.
Satoru: winks I'd be honored to meet them, Mrs. LN. But let's enjoy this gathering for now, shall we?
Yn's Mom: Agreed, Gojo-san. And don't forget to call me "Mom" from now on.
Satoru: bows Yes, Mom.
AN: I know you all are utterly flabbergasted as to why yn's mom is welcoming the most annoying, irritating asshole into her house.
I mean, seriously, this guy who hovers over your front door suddenly transforms into Mr. Charm when faced with mom. Hold up, let me spill the tea on how yn ended up in this wild situation.
So, picture this: it's the start of the week, and you're running late for work, rushing to your cabin with your coat and coffee, trying to keep your sanity intact. And there he is, Satoru, your colleague, strutting in with his fresh baby blue and black fit like he's walking a runway.
As if that's not enough, the dude spots you and decides to sashay over, grinning like a fool, as if he's auditioning for the role of "The Annoying Casanova"
It's has become his routine. He always slides in, all flirty and starts boasting about his weekend conquests, like he had all the "different types" of girls. But you, being the unbothered queen, just brush off his narcissistic crap. Like, who gives a damn?
You dive into your work while he keeps yapping about how he could make you see stars. And you hit him with, "Oh, please! I see stars every damn night, so thanks but no thanks."
People y'all need to get this straight: you ain't got no beef with him. You just aren't into the romance stuff at the moment. You prefer your solo time, you feel me? You're in that "me time" phase, and it's all good.
No denying, the dude is hot as hell. That's spitting facts. If someone bet you $50 to jump on him, you'd do it free, even toss in some extra cash without batting an eye.
But it ain't about that and never could be more than that. It just didn't click with him. Now, let's be real, he's the one you could fully adore, no doubt, without holding back.
He's been low-key hinting about his feelings all this time, but you've been straight-up ignoring them.
Y'all know him, he's the king of players, always flexing his charm, cracking jokes, and hopping from one hookup to the next.
So yeah, we ain't falling for that game and specifically no getting played by his smooth talk, he's an expert at leading hearts on with zero intentions of commitment. We're standing our ground, staying wise to his tricks.
Your phone buzzes, and it's your mom. You let out an irritated huff because you know another 25 minutes are about to go down the drain, just like that.
Mom: "Hey, honey."
You: "Yeah, mom, morning."
Mom: "Good morning, my precious. How's your day kickin' off?"
You: "I don't know, just started, nothing crazy yet."
Mom: "Well, let's infuse some positive vibes into it, shall we?"
You: "Sure, but I'm at work, so make it snappy."
Mom: "I understand life's a struggle, but sweetheart, don't you think it's time to come back home, settle down, and start a family? You know, before you hit that dreaded age of no return where all the eligible bachelors disappear into thin air!"
You: "Mom, seriously? We've had this talk a countless times. Please, just stop. I can't throw away four years of grind just because you want a grandchild! This is beyond ridiculous!"
Mom: "Oh, my poor heart! Will my beautiful daughter be left behind, watching the sands of time slip through her fingers, forever destined to be an old maid? Oh, the tragedy! Is this why I carried you for 10 months and..."
You: "Alright, enough. I know exactly where this is headed. But didn't I mention the flight reservation for the weekend?"
Mom: "Well, I just yearn to behold your lovely face as soon as humanly possible."
Your brother, causing chaos in the background, chimes in: "Yo, Mom's schemin' to set you up on a blind date right after you land."
You: "What the actual heck? Are you serious? Mom?!!"
Mom: "Oh, no, darling, it's not a date. We're just going to mingle with some influential folks, ya know? It's all about networking!"
You can hear your brother shrieking as your mom unleashes something on him, probably her flip flops.
While you're knee-deep in a heated argument with your mom, completely oblivious to your surroundings, Satoru slyly sneaks into your cabin, popping up with a silly grin. "Heyyy yn sannn!!" he cheerfully exclaims, his flirty game in full swing. "What's shakin', baby??" He puckers up for a cute face and inches closer.
To your utter astonishment, the other side of the conversation suddenly falls into a bizarre silence, like someone hit the mute button on a chaotic war movie scene. All you can hear now are faint murmurs.
In the midst of the madness, your brother snatches the phone from your mom's hands.
Brother: "Yo, yn! You better not be getting tangled up with guys, are you?!"
You can hear the satisfying sound of your mom delivering a few extra smacks to your brother before regaining control of the phone.
Mom: "Wait just a minute!!! You're dating someone? Oh, my dear heavens! Who is he? How does he look? What's his name? Send me a picture, pronto! Hold on, you're at work, sooo, is it someone from work??? No wait, this is not happening!
You're in LOVE????!!!!"
At this point, you feel a strong urge to grab a sledgehammer, break through those wide glass windows, and escape into the sweet embrace of peace and serenity.
Instead of dealing with two hyperactive, intentionally overdramatic adults and a loudmouthed teenager (your mom, Satoru, and your brother respectively) is just too much to handle.
That's when the brilliant idea of fake dating pops into your mind like a light bulb moment. "Well, couldn't I just pull off this epic move?!" you think to yourself.
You: "Oh yeah, Mom, I'm actually dating someone, so sorry, but I won't be able to make it to that date!"
You can practically see Satoru's heart shattering into a million nano particles in his eyes, scattered across the room. But now that he's within earshot, he overhears the conversation and finally grasps what's going on.
Mom: "Well, if you're really dating someone, let me talk to him! I need to see if he's good enough for my precious baby!"
Satoru, being the quick thinker that he is, jumps into action, matching the vibe effortlessly.
They both start engaging in a lively conversation, with all his charm and sweet talk meanwhile you are a sweating mess trying to predict what on earth the outcome of this stupidity will be.
Their chemistry is so convincing that even you start to question if it's all just an act. They just hit it off soo effortlessly.
Mom: "Oh my, you two seem just perfect together! I can't believe my luck! You will, without a doubt, make the cutest couple ever. I can't wait to meet my son-in-law"
As they continue, Satoru plays his role flawlessly, you can't help but admire his ability to spin this fake dating scenario into a believable tale.
It's like watching a masterclass in deception, and you can't help but feel a mix of awe and amusement at the absurdity of it all.
"Wait a damn minute! Now she wants to meet him? Uhhhhhhh?" You swore internally, feeling the chaos about to unfold sinking in like a sinking ship in a stormy sea.
Lost in your own thoughts, trying to come up with a diversion to steer the attention away from your mom meeting "Satoru Gojo," you completely missed the part where they finalized the full master plan for your trip back home together, both you and him.
"Hey?? Ynnnn! What should I pack? When are we leaving? Hmm?" He asks innocently, his face now a picture of cluelessness.
"Eh? Ehh? Ehhhhhhhhh???!!" You were left utterly bewildered, your mind racing to comprehend the sudden turn of events.
"No way. Nooo, I can't believe this is happening." It's like a mission fucking impossible, no, scratch that, it's a mission that should not be fucking possible under any circumstances.
Satoru on the other hand "Shoot! I have to go book those tickets, before they're out." He struts out of your cabin, shooting you a playful flying kiss, and quips, "I'll be here waiting for ya babe!" before sauntering off.
"What the actual freak have I gotten myself into?!!" you exclaim, overwhelmed with a sense of despair and disbelief.