racing's in my code.

vanellope von schweetz. homeless, racing enthusiast, sufferer of pi̴x̵͢s̨l̕͠è̵x̴͟i̵̶a̷̕,͠

[floatlike-acadillac-blog]

Oh FINALLY.

[floatlike-acadillac-blog]

Oh, great… 

Heeey little girl, did you loose your mommy and daddy? Sorry kid but I don’t think I can help. I’ve got a lot of training to do now that the track is cleared. But uhh, I can spend you over to my buddy Chick Hicks. Yeah, he’d be more than happy to help you. 

[dirtyhairedlittlebrat]

Wha-? Oh, no, I don't have parents, I - you're Lightning McQ͏͞ú̶̡e̶̡en͡, and you're talking to m̕e̢̕, I'm g̵O̧̧͠N͘͞N̸͘͜A͠͡͝ ̴EX̨͟P̢͟Ļ͘͝Ò̴̵D̢E̴ ̨Y̛͞O̡͟͠U҉̛'̕R͢͢҉E ̵͞R̛E͢Ą̛LL̶͠Y̧T̡͢͟A̷͠L̶̡͘͞K̡̀͝͡I҉̕N̷͝͠͡Ģ͘͝ ̸̸̡T̢̧͢͞҉Ǫ̷͜͠ ̀͘͞͝Ḿ̸̨̡͞E̴̢͜͝!̸͠͝

Training?! Real live racing training?! Can I watch?!

I - I mean, it's just - oh my gosh, I am such a huge fan of yours, you're an inspiration! You're the one who got me into racing, I'm build̵̛͠i͘͡n̸g͘ my own c̢͢a̛r̶͟t̵̡ because of y̶o҉́͢u͢, I've seen e͞ver̷y rac͟e ̛ ̸ ̕ ͝ ̢ you'v̵e ever done̵ and I - you're L҉i̢g̵҉h̵͠t͏̷͠n̷̛͟i͟͞͡n̷g ̵M͢c̶̢͜Q̶̡́u͘͞e̡͡e͠n͘ I̶͞ ̷̢̀d҉̡o͘ń͟҉'̵͜t̵ ̧͝b̵̛Ę̀L҉Í͏E̢̢͢V̷̶E̡ IT̀͜͟ ̛O͡H̷͘͟ ̡͠M̢͏̷Y ̶G̛O̴͏̡Ş̶H̴ O͘͞H̷̀ ͜M̀Y ̸͡Ǵ́ÓS̷Ḩ̴ -

[awfullybigadventure]

Hiya Vanilla! Woah you finally got all the parts for your cart huh?

[dirtyhairedlittlebrat]

Weeeeell, not exactly. I mean, I got most of the parts, but I'm still missin' some because the ones I found out at the dump were useless pieces of junk, but I'm gettin' close! Just need a couple'a more things... like a steerin' wheel, I guess, but that's not too important, right?

What about you though, I haven't seen you around in ages! What'd ya do, fall off the face of the earth or somethin'?

[floatlike-acadillac-blog]

Oh FINALLY.

The snow is melting! It’s showtime, baby! 

Whew, I thought that stuff would be around forever. Good thing it isn’t, I’d rather blow my gas pipe than spend any more time with my idiot crew members. Or ex crew members. Fourth times the charm, right? 

[dirtyhairedlittlebrat]

[demotedone]

You know what the most boring job in the world is?

[demotedone]

Whoa, what’s a pipsqueak like you doin’ here, don’t preschools let out at three? An’ I am not a graveyard hobo! I live in a perfectly adequate temple, I’ll have you know. You did get the other stuff pretty spot on, though, I’ll give ya that. 

Excuse me?! Look who’s talkin’, you’re like a bug! A tiny, annoyin’, disrepectin’ bug! You be here skippin’ preschool, an’ you don’t even have all a’ your manners sorted out! 

It’s not a dead people channel! An’ before you ask, nuh-uh, I ain’t tellin’ a three-year-old ‘bout what’s on HBO; you just keep watchin’ your Sesame Street an’ your Nora the Explorer. 

[dirtyhairedlittlebrat]

Oh, ha ha, very funny, zombie boy, why dontcha tell that one to your undead girlfriend? A temple? Woah, should I be bowing down to you? You some kind of emperor or somethin'? Zombie overlord? That one sounds kinda cool, actually, can I borrow your corpse army for a few days? I got a few people back home need takin' care of.

A bug? Least I don't got a face like a lizard, what's up with that?! Ya look like ya should be covered in scales! Were you grown in a lab or somethin'? My manners are just fine, alright? You're the one who brought up the whole size thing, why do that if you're just gonna be touchy 'bout it?

Oh, so ... ohhh, it's a naughty channel! .... eugh! That's gross, first the dead people and now, oh man, that is so gross! An' I don't watch Sesame Street! ...what is Sesame Street? I've got better things to do than sit inside watchin' T.V., an' sides, everyone knows video games are wayyyy better than T.V.! Ever played any racin' games? Dash lets me play his sometimes, smoke him eeevery time! ...then again, do lizard people like you even know what video games are, or are ya too busy bein' the life of the party off in some graveyard somewhere?

[thelittle-ariel]

Oh, thank you! I’m… One of the Triton daughters, so all our names start with A! What’s your name? Well, awhile ago there were pirates and I kinda… Went exploring their ships. I found some really neat stuff! And I just like to venture out around Disney and find all these new pieces to add to my collection. Oh - you’re welcome! If you want to decorate the cart, you could use seashells and pebbles from the beach. That could be a nice touch. 

I’ve really gotta try going there now! I don’t think I’ve actually got any of those things, either! Except a blanket, I know what one of them are! 

O-Oh… Are you okay? You just kinda… Flashed?! And - Are you okay!?

Y- You did it again! Vanellope - is that your name? Did you maybe… Eat something strange? Do you feel alright? It’s great you’re into racing! I don’t really know much about that, just that it involves cars and wheels and thingymajigs.

Oh - Oh right! Well I like umm… Thingymabobs, and I’m interested in music, singing and adventure! So I’m not too sure what I could make to help… Are you sure you’re okay?

[dirtyhairedlittlebrat]

Tritons, Tritons... nope. Can't say I know ya. Oh, so you got some sorta theme namin' thing goin' on there? We got that where I come from too! Pirates?! You went explorin' in a p̶̶i̢r̵̛ate͏ ̴͢͜sḩ̶͞į̷pwre͞ck͘͠?! WOW, THAT SOUNDS SO͏ ̶̧C̴Ò̕Ǫ̀̕L̢͘! What was it like? Was there booty? Pfffffft, booty. That always gets me. But ya gotta tell me what it was like! Was there treasure? Old skulls an' stuff? Big long cutlasses that could take out your eye if ya looked at it the wrong way? Come on, Ariel, don't leave me hangin'!

Oh, well, they're all cart stuff, y'know, real important in the buildin' industry... 'cept the blanket. That one's kinda - huh?

Oh, that. Yeah, that's nothin', just my pixslexia. Everyone back home says I'm a glitch 'cause of it, but it's not so bad. I mean, I can't really control it, so it just kind of... happens, It's nothing bad though! Oh man, racing is the best! There's nothin' that beats the feelin' of speedin' right past the others and leavin' them to eat your dust! ...not that I know what that feels like. Yet. But I will soon! Just watch, one day I'm gonna be the best racer in the whole world!

Singin'? Well that sounds... dumb. Could ya maybe make some sorta instrument? There's lotsa old bits of junk in there that you could use, old guitar necks and violin bows an' stuff, ya could probably make a whole new one if ya really wanted! I don't know much about music, else I'd try and help ya a bit more, but if ya come down to the dump one day, I can show ya all the cool stuff an' where to get the best spare parts!

[montressorjim]

 Ha ha, very funny. And no I don’t. I didn’t say there wasn’t, I’m sure it’s real dandy. Congratulations on your five star home I hope you two are very happy together.

Wait, what? 

A pedal cart? You’re kidding, right? People still use those? People still make those? Well okay, if that’s what you want. That kinda makes sense, pedal carts are pretty sim — uhh, standard. You can’t build an actual cart without knowing what you’re getting yourself into. 

What are you talking about? There’s nothing wrong with building from scraps. Hah, you’re telling me. I was just making sure you knew what you were doing. Just cause ya know, I’ve had my fair share of moments when wiring and I didn’t get a long. If you get what I mean. It’d be really stupid to just dive into mechanics thinking you know everything. 

[dirtyhairedlittlebrat]

Haha, five star home, yeah... h҉̶̧a͏̵.

Hey, hey! Pedal carts are good, alright? I mean, they might not be up to scratch compared to some of the newer models, but they're still good, they're raceable! And they're a̴l̡͡l̸̛ I got. 

And what's the difference between a pedal cart and an actual cart?! They still count, they don't magically un-become carts just 'cause they're made of wood! Jeez, I didn't think cart snobs were a thing until I met you, what've you got against pedal ones?

Oh, right, well. Yeah, I haven't really tried my hand with anythin' mechanical yet - I mean, I've worked with sheetin' a few times, but never circuitry or anythin' important like that. Most of those bits are broken down by the time they get to the dump, so I can only work with what I've got. If you're gettin' shocked, though, well, that's all down to you. Guess workin' with the complicated stuff just isn't agreein' with ya, huh?

[thedashparr]

WOAH, YOU’RE GONNA MAKE YOU’RE OWN CART? That’s so sweet! You should add some awesome decorations and stuff to it. I’m thinking red and yellow, doesn’t that sound awesome? Chhyeaaah it does! I hope this one works better than the old one though. No offense or anything, Schweetz. 

Oh hey, that reminds me. Russell and I are gonna have this totally sweet epic snowdown — and it’s gonna be awesome! You should join if you want.

[dirtyhairedlittlebrat]

yEAH I'M GONNA MAKE MY OWN CART AND IT'S GONNA BE THE B͡͡ȨS̴̛T́ ͘T̢̛̀HIŅ͝G̨҉͏ YOU'VE EV̡̨E̸R̷ SEEN! Well, duh, it's not gonna be a borin' old cookie cutter type, it's gonna have my name up the side, and dual-colour schemes are borin', Dash, jeez! 'Sides, if I had ta choose one, it'd be green an' purple, you know that! But I'm gonna try an' go for all of them, really make it stand out - red an' yellow just makes me look like a McQueen copycat, anyway, and there ain't no way I'm gonna spend my career tryna catch up to him, I'm gonna race right past him in no time!

H-hey! There was nothin' wrong with the old cart, alright? Just 'cause it didn't have pedals, or a workin' break system... besides, I told you to take it easy comin' up to the hill, Dashiell, it's your fault for givin' it too much power, you didn't even give me a chance to get it under control! You owe me a new tooth!

A snowdown? I have no idea what that is - count me in! Just tell me when and where and I'll be there to kick both your butts, with one arm behind my back!

[thelittle-ariel]

Hey - I’m Ariel! Ooh, do you like collecting thingymabobs too? The dump… I should try that! I usually search random old shipwrecks or the beaches or sometimes the streets, but I know my friend Flounder is always telling me not to go searching in the dump for gizmos, I can understand why but now you’ve made me curious… Oh - you’re building a cart? That’s really neat! I kinda just - collect thingies. Maybe I should try building something! It could make more room for me to add more things if I did that.

[dirtyhairedlittlebrat]

Ariel, wow, that's a real pretty name, how'd ya get landed with one like that? Nah, I don't really collect stuff to have it sit on shelves, you know, I use it to make my cart an' stuff, I don't really have anywhere to leave it lyin' around anyway. Shipwrecks? Aren't those like, lyin' at the bottom of the ocean? I don't think the beach is really my sorta place, ya can't really do much with driftwood... but you can try! Thanks for the idea, lady!

What? No, the dump's great! You can find all sorts of stuff in there, sheet metal an' old wheels an' break circuits an' old blankets ta keep ya warm in the winter, clean it all off down by the river in the Hundred Acre Wood an' it's good as new! 

Hey, that's an idea! I mean, I'm buildin' a cart because racing's my li̡͢f͘͡e̡, it's in my DNA, it's everyth̡̀͠i̡̢ń͡͡g̛ ̀I̶ ͝w͝-͝wa͡͏n҉t ̵t̷̸͟o̕͡ ̸d͡͡-dơ!͜ Just wait, you're gonna hear about me one day - Vanellope von Schweetz, greatest racer in the world! I'm gonna be better than Lighting McQueen, just wait! You should try an' build somethin' based around what you're into... sooooo, what are you into? Hair combs? Seashells? Ginger stuff?

[montressorjim]

Oh great, the dump. Known for its high class establishment.

Wait, wait, wait — you’re trying to make a cart? With only scraps? You know that can’t work, right? Do you even know anything about mechanics? It’s not that easy, ya know. You can’t just collect any old random pieces. Well, you can but they gotta be similarly shaped and then you need an energy source. I’m gonna take a stab in the dark and guess you can’t find one of those in a junkyard. 

[dirtyhairedlittlebrat]

Oh yeah? Where do you hang out, then, the Pridelands? Don't knock it until you've tried it, my man, there's all sorts of cool stuff down there. Ya just gotta spit shine it first.

Well, yeah, but - it's not - I know that I just - shut up a second, will ya! I'm makin' a pedal cart, stinkbrain, the energy source is my feet. I've got the skeleton all put together, an' the wheels are all stuck on, just gotta kit out the frame and then it's good to go. I've been practicin' on a couple'a older models, fastest pedal power this side'a the Hundred Acre Wood! 

What've you got against buildin' from scraps, anyway? We can't all afford tiny engines and transistors an' real steerin' wheels, ya know, some of us have gotta make do. Got a problem with that?

[demotedone]

You know what the most boring job in the world is?

Hanging out with dead people.

Guess what job I have? Hanging out with dead people. And ringing the gong on special occasions. Can’t anyone see that this position is below someone of my stature?! Ugh. 

Wonder if ol’ Daddy Fa’ll let me into the house to catch some HBO.

[dirtyhairedlittlebrat]

Dead people? Jeez, you sound like a cheerful sorta guy, what d'ya do, shine up the headstones or somethin'? Work with zombies? Summonin' zombies with whatever your gong thing is? You're not some graveyard hobo, are you?

... you mean it's possible to be below your stature? I thought only babies qualified for that.

HBO? What's that, some dead people channel? I thought you didn't like workin' with dead people, why'd ya watch stuff about 'em if ya don't like 'em?

[dirtyhairedlittlebrat]

I just found the coolest thing! Ya ever gone down the dump to see what sorta scrap they got lyin' about? It's amazin', they got all these broken down cars ya can salvage from and bits of wood and metal sheets, just gotta scrape a bit of dirt off 'em an' they look just fine! Once I get this all shined up, I'm gonna be able to put it together, I'm gonna have the best cart ever!