autistic mess

isaac/kieren 25 autistic queer and trans he/him

[disabledcole]

side blogs

@autisticaang - atla

@autisticarya - asoiaf/got/hotd

@autisticanakin - star wars

@autisticaloysobeck - horizon zero dawn (and eventually forbidden west)

@autisticbennyblanc - knives out/glass onion

@autisticbellaswan - twilight renaissance

@autisticbrosca - dragon age

@daoriginalcharacters - dragon age ocs (not just mine, everyones)

@autisticcamilo - encanto

@autisticecil - welcome to night vale 

@autistic-dragonborn - skyrim/elder scrolls

@autisticellie - the last of us

@autisticelricbrothers - fullmetal alchemist 

@autisticfrodo - hobbit/lord of the rings/some silmarillion

@autisticgoodomens - good omens

@autistichatchling - outer wilds - DO NOT FOLLOW IF YOU HAVENT PLAYED THE GAME

@autistichardison - leverage

@autisticharrydubois - disco elysium

@autistic-l​ - death note

@autisticleovaldez - percy jackson/heroes of olympus

@autisticlyra - his dark materials

@autisticmarkwatney - the martian

@autisticmax - life is strange 

@autisticmerlin - bbc merlin

@autisticmurderbot murderbot

@autistic-nimona - nimona

@autisticnumberfive - the umbrella academy

@autisticisha - arcane/small amounts of league of legends

@autistickarlach - baldurs gate 3

@autistickatnisseverdeen - hunger games

@autisticrylandgrace - project hail mary

@autistictali - mass effect

@autistic-samwinchester - supernatural

@autisticstevenharrington - stranger things

@autistic-taako - the adventure zone: balance

[estro-boi]

we gotta get back to torrent distribution, i just watched someone eat eight grand in bandwidth charges because they ran a direct-download piracy site with local file hosting through cloudflare. torrents were invented literally for this exact reason

[estro-boi]

torrents work like this

i have a file or folder on my pc that i want to share with other people. let's call it gayshit.mp3

unfortunately gayshit.mp3 is 750mb and im not paying for discord nitro so i need another way to send it

i put it into qbittorrent and it makes a torrent file. this is essentially a very small file that points to gayshit.mp3 so other computers can find it. kinda like a treasure map

i send this tiny file to my friend, who loads it into qbittorrent. their computer takes a moment to find mine over the vast expanse of cyberspace and then (as long as my pc is running and the file is still where it should be), it gets copied from my hard drive to theirs

this is the cool part: if somebody else loads that tiny file, they can download it from both of us. if i'm offline but my friend is on, the third person can still get it. this also means that if two people have separate halves of the file, they can download the other half from each other. as long as some combination of people have the pieces between them, they can all have the whole thing.

crucially this does not require a server!!! you can just upload the file to a few people and as long as they keep it, it's still accessible. as long as somebody, somewhere is still connected, it's available forever. the only way it goes away is if everybody disconnects from it.

please learn to torrent

[macleod]

How to Use Torrents (with Pictures) - wikiHow

An expert guide to get started using torrentsTorrents are one of the most popular forms of file sharing on the internet, accounting for over

always use qbittorrent, do not use bitorrent or utorrent.

[disabledcole]

hey so if i reblog a post of yours or something you reblogged from like 9 years ago (to here or one of my many sideblogs)- im not being weird, blame tumblrs new 'sort likes by oldest to newest' system. please and thank

[monsterpotion]

"You can now sort your likes from oldest to newest on web and iOS. Do you remember what your first liked post was?"

oh dear

[monsterpotion]

oh its bad back there.

[horsemotifs]

joining the war on pigeons on the side of pigeons

[disabledcole]

people offended/complaining about tumblr's new mature content blocking so loudly clearly aren't from the UK lmao. i'm surprised it's taken tumblr this long tbh, the internet's been a dystopian hellscape for like 2 years now.

im a grown ass adult and i cant even see adult games on steam (they literally dont show up on searches, and direct links to their store pages are blocked) because the only form of ID allowed to prove you're an adult is a fucking credit card. and not only once, you need to be using a credit card to buy games with, it needs to be the card registered to your account.

i dont have a credit card- i occasionally get manic episodes where i overspend and i'm sensible enough to know that a credit card would be a bad idea in those situations. but literally just to be able to buy games on steam, i applied for one and was denied because i'm on disability benefits.

i have messaged steam about this- the whole thing is a fucking mess of a farce, but all they'd need to change is add a secondary way to verify being an adult (they refused) or make it so you can enter a credit card once but continue to use a debit card to buy games and for their system to remember you're an adult (they refused). so if i want to buy an adult game on steam i have to ask to borrow my dad's fucking credit card, even though i'm an adult.

like yeah, it sucks that tumblr's caught up, and it sucks that they've deployed this shit universally but honestly tumblr's such a shitshow of a site i dont know if they'd be able to work out which users are from the UK and block only us. though i think australia also has similar laws now? idk, i have no clue what's happening anywhere anymore.

im not saying that people are wrong to be all up in arms about this, because it does fucking suck, but a lot of the anger is directed at the wrong places and also like. two years too late for some of us

[queer-as-city-folk]

Animals: a guide

[queer-as-city-folk]

One side has monkeys and tigers and elephants and capybaras, the other? Squirrels and deer

[queer-as-city-folk]

I forgot Bison and Sea Otters

[salekinj]

Have you seen a moose, megafauna are cool.

[queer-as-city-folk]

[queer-as-city-folk]

I DO NOT!!!

[queer-as-city-folk]

[queer-as-city-folk]

[queer-as-city-folk]

I am sorry

[disabledcole]

added my new spinterest sideblog to my pinned post, im over at @autisticrylandgrace crying about project hail mary at the moment

[fairyblue-alchemist]

one man's hyperfixation is another man's blocked tag

[dragonpyre]

[teradul]

Sometimes a beloved mutual transitions and starts frequenting places you wouldn't go yourself, yk?

[crowboy-bebop]

when your beloved mutual suddenly joins a fandom you have no interest in

[notquiteaghost]

i am getting so very caught on gurathin putting murderbot In His Brain. for obvious reasons if you know me at all. i really need there to be more implications to that than just 'weird opinion/memory bleed', like. don't get me wrong i love the opinion/memory bleed!! but. also. they were already uniquely equipped to Understand each other, in ways no one else they know is, and now they were briefly one entity... gurathin does not need to look for murderbot, gurathin knows exactly where it is going and does not need to put in effort to work out its path. gurathin is getting kidnapped with mensah, probably, because he knows what it'll do and what graycris will do in response. once they're both back on preservation they're finishing each other's sentences. from different rooms. murderbot turns up to a social gathering holding the beverage gurathin has been idly craving all day. gurathin has permanent custody of one of murderbot's drones. if you message one of them in the feed it's 70/30 which of them replies, again entirely regardless of their relative physical locations. but also murderbot's location is probably within five metres of gurathin. murderbot paints its nails, gurathin's clothing triples in pockets. it's actually lowkey genuinely concerning everyone else because it's becoming less 'codepedent honeymoon period' and more 'identity collapse death spiral' and neither of them want to hear it at all. their first actual fight is about the network effect survey because murderbot can't go alone (without gurathin) but also they can't leave mensah alone (without murderbot or gurathin), & oh BOY does being separated add several fun layers to All Of That. immediate divergence for system collapse because gurathin gets onboard ART and flattens murderbot to the floor and says Start the trauma treatment or I'm pulling your neural wiring out with my teeth.

[notquiteaghost]

bookmarking this thought for when i do not need to leave for work in 17 minutes. list of things they know about each other at the start vs. after hardwiring vs. after the memory mindmeld

[disabledcole]

love learning that the website has updated while using the app and not having accessed my computer in A While bc im bedbound rn. like. what have they done to y’all. im getting the vibe i should be scared. im huddling here in the safety of my half functional ios app (it wont let me update my pinned post with my newest sideblog 😭)

[disabledcole]

okay bare in mind i am still app-bound and am getting this info from posts on my dash.

i dont hate all of it? i would like to be able to like different versions of posts and i dont mind peoples reblogs getting notes UNLESS they take those notes away from OP which sounds like what they’re doing. like, op should get all notes like normal. if someones response gets notes they get attributed them, so you can kinda see a diagram of where the notes are coming from. dont like it but dont HATE it and i think id get over it.

the tag thing counting sounds like a glitch bc thats fucked up and broken tho. so fix those two things and im tentatively okay

but like i said i havent seen it so i may instinctively change my mind and hate it when i see it in action so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[disabledcole]

love learning that the website has updated while using the app and not having accessed my computer in A While bc im bedbound rn. like. what have they done to y’all. im getting the vibe i should be scared. im huddling here in the safety of my half functional ios app (it wont let me update my pinned post with my newest sideblog 😭)

[jvgsjeff]

[yahenni]

[doctor-wormm]

please reblog this i spent way too long on what was supposed to be a quick edit

[noccolibroccoli]

So I had a hysterectomy today (hooray!) and I brought along my stuffed orca, Shamu, as a comfort object. And everyone i interacted with during my pre-op was like "Oh! Who's this?" so I was telling them all about him, how he's been with me since I was 9 and gone on every single vacation and road trip, and they were telling me about their own stuffed buddies (one lady said she still has hers after 40 years!) and all of this while I was signing consent forms and providing a list of the things I'd brought with me, you know, small talk.

So then a nurse comes over and goes "Okay, I've got some stickers I'll put on your things so we know they're yours" and I'm like "OK cool" so she puts a sticker on my coat and stickers on my bags of clothes and then she turns to Shamu and I'm like "oh I guess he gets a sticker too"

But no. She pulls out a hospital bracelet that's an exact copy of mine and slaps it on his tail, like so:

And i was delighted by this, so I took a picture to send to my friends, who were equally delighted, and were cracking me up with their reactions (like so:)

Anyway, they take me back and put me under, and when I awake groggily a few hours later it takes me a minute to get my bearings, so I don't notice Shamu at first. But then I realize he's tucked up next to me in the gurney, so I grab him, and my hand touches gauze.

And I'm like "huh?" so I look at him and I realize

They gave my fucking orca a hysterectomy

[crokitheloki]

everyone say thank you ao3 volunteers you're the best ao3 volunteers ily ao3 volunteers

[raisedbylibrarians]

[disabledcole]

life update i guess: ive been essentially bed bound for the last… four? months bc of my extreme fucking anxiety and pda and autism and [waves arms] everything else. and my body is shutting down bc im too anxious to eat or drink which is causing severe nausea and bowel problems and now i have an inflamed intestine apparently which is? bad? idk but i got sent for a CT scan and also a Few blood tests and i was almost hospitalised like 2 weeks ago bc they were worried they were gonna have to give me food and nutrients through a tube or something and also my muscles are atrophying which i found out when i had to walk more than 5 steps to my bathroom for the CT scan and. thats all the result of basically a two year downward mental spiral of depression and anxiety and ocd and demand avoidance all getting worse and worse and now all i can do is lie in bed and read because i can even watch fucking youtube videos anymore. so thats all fun.

[disabledcole]

like to be clear. thats the end of my bed. thats where my pc is. ive used my pc maybe 4 times since october. i WANT to use my pc! i want to play video games and do other things i used to enjoy (thx depression)! but thats too far and i cant get out of bed

[disabledcole]

life update i guess: ive been essentially bed bound for the last… four? months bc of my extreme fucking anxiety and pda and autism and [waves arms] everything else. and my body is shutting down bc im too anxious to eat or drink which is causing severe nausea and bowel problems and now i have an inflamed intestine apparently which is? bad? idk but i got sent for a CT scan and also a Few blood tests and i was almost hospitalised like 2 weeks ago bc they were worried they were gonna have to give me food and nutrients through a tube or something and also my muscles are atrophying which i found out when i had to walk more than 5 steps to my bathroom for the CT scan and. thats all the result of basically a two year downward mental spiral of depression and anxiety and ocd and demand avoidance all getting worse and worse and now all i can do is lie in bed and read because i can even watch fucking youtube videos anymore. so thats all fun.