welcome to my twisted pretzel @disaster-mage - Tumblr Blog

my wizardgirl keeps mage regressing during the big boss fight, throwing out level 1 Ice Bolt and giggling like we're supposed to find it cute. I know this bitch can do a level 12 modified Frosthammer Vortex. It's not even hard for her. But the Wyvern Queen, who we're supposed to be killing, keeps going "Wow, that was a really big spell for you! good job giving me -1 speed! You're soooo powerful!" and my fuckass mage is beaming at her with those big wet eyes. I don't care if you get "level dysphoria" from your gigantic big-girl mana pool I'm about to die out here

soymoss

starling

cutecipher

basketball players fight over the basketball because they are hypnotized before each game to believe it is their egg

depsidase

haaaaaaaaaaaave-you-met-ted

Blue Mage by Yoshitaka Amano

frogliftcertified

portaltomb

this lettuce smells like dog

iamoutofideas

you bought dog lettuce

swarnpert

shencomix

woman-becomer

eat an entire can of sweetened condensed milk. you deserve it.

platter-o-teeth-deactivated2025

(sigh) okay... (CRUUEEENNNCH....) (SCREEEEEENCH...) owie.. (CRUUEEENCH)

woman-becomer

this is one of the most rewarding things about posting self care tips on this site. witnessing people's lives getting better in real time. this is why I post

k009

The 3 important B’s

fandaniel

what the fuck

fandaniel

been in my head for days

househunting

$850,000/5 br/4 ba/4,820 sq ft

San Antonio, TX

Built in 1907

[househunting on ig]

[househunting on substack]

xalatath

I wanna fuck you like a centipede

Blogger's Note: Centipedes reproduce by the male leaving a spermatophore (sperm packet) on the ground for the female to pick up - no intercourse is involved.