i hate jackson healy i hate holland march i hope they both DIE
Cosimo Galluzzi
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if i look back, i am lost
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One Nice Bug Per Day
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@disasterspam
i hate jackson healy i hate holland march i hope they both DIE
ewwww ewwwww gross bugs.... request from @completelysaneapplefarm
detectives and their partners, am i right?
I can't stop thinking about how weird Grace must seem to Earthlings!
Beatles come to Earth, humanity learns about taumoeba and discovers that they accidentally made first contact! With friendly rock-spider aliens! They have a little English-Eridian vocabulary, great new material, coordinates of their planet and the best fuel for spaceships, so why not make the second contact?
It takes time, but finally four or five astronauts in coma (scientists found the reason for Yao's and Ilyukhina's deaths) go to Erid.
And upon arrival they discover that Eridians' English is muuuch better than they thought and that their idol, the Earth's hero, the savior of humanity Ryland Grace is still alive!
Wtf??? He has no food??? We have posthumous memorials???
And they decide to meet with him and suddenly he:
had been eating nothing but space unicellular slime for four years,
lives in some weird place that's half zoo, half science center,
now eats human flesh burgers (his own flesh but...),
hasn't interacted with another human being in almost 30 years
hasn't had sex in over 30 years (dude, are you asexual???)
spends his days teaching little blind rock-spider aliens physics and human science and experimenting with astrophage and eridian things...
and he is totally happy about it!
He doesn't want to go back to Earth. All that he wants is to grow some of their plants on Erid! They tell him about his heroic status, about memorials and statues, and he is HORRIFIED. Ok, he saved Earth, but statues???
Crazy man.
Then they ask him how he and Rocky didn't kill each other on the way back. Like... Soviet experiments, you know?
And he looks at them as if they're the ones eating human flesh burgers and starts to list for like an hour what you can do with your best rock-spider friend and a computer with all Earth media ever created.
Bonus: Grace is autistic. It's okay, but after almost 30 years without any human contact he doesn't mask. It takes time for poor astronauts to realize that his oddities didn't caused by Erid. He's just like that.
Bonus 2: one of the astronauts is his ex-student. Imagine discovering that your coolest teacher is kinda the craziest person alive in every sense of the word.
I think Rocky named Grace ‘Dumbass’ or ‘Idiot’ or something and then just never changed it. Then when they get to Erid he’s so used to calling his alien friend ‘Shithead Moron’ that when he introduces him to a large crowd they’re all like ‘woah man what the fuck’ and ‘that’s not nice!’ and ‘you can’t say that bro that’s too mean’ and Rocky has to awkwardly explain to Grace why they’re upset. Grace, who is now very familiar with Rocky’s standard vocabulary, laughs until he is crying on the floor and can’t breath, which makes all the other Eridians panic while Rocky stands there yelling at Grace that it’s not that funny asshole.
Family reunion p2
GRANDPARENTS MARCH AND HEALY!!!!! I WIN! I love the idea of them interacting and loving their stupidly dangerous grandsons (well, only one at the moment… but not for long)
Guess who finished the Project Hail Mary book and rewatched the movie?
The first thing Ryland should do when he gets into his biosphere is run. He hasn't had to space to actually, properly, run in so long. Plus then you get Rocky being confused why Ryland is jetting off the second he steps foot in there. Rocky give tour! Why Grace leave! Where you going?
Ok but the Eridians being worried Rocky kidnapped Grace and Rocky is like no it’s fine they threw him away he’s ours now
i think there is a statue of grace. on the campus of the university where he got his phd. it's a big base, like the statue atop it is going to be a larger than life hero standing brave. but instead it is him, life size, sitting with his feet dangling off the edge and turned slightly to the side like he is in conversation.
there is room to sit next to him. students like to hop up and sit next to dr. grace to get advice, vent, just take a minute. he's a friend to all on campus
in a world where grace eventually goes back to earth when erid is ready to make full contact. he's officially an eridian and earth dual citizen and is a physically very old man. it's also been a lot of earth years since he was here, especially due to time dilation. he comes off the eridian lander in a hoverchair accompanied by rocky in his little xenonite suit and is like wow, fresh air. rocky isn't it so beautiful here. rocky this is the ground i used to walk on. rocky this is the food i used to eat. rocky these are the people you helped me save. amaze amaze amaze.
and his speech has taken on eridian habits from years of only really communicating in eridian: he drops and raises octaves to show emotion, he's speaks melodically and with a rythmn that pings as music when you first hear it. his creaky old man voice is that of somebody who has spent their whole life singing, somebody who speaks for a living, because he's both of those things. his syntax is strange and his sentences are structured oddly. he looks around at everything with the delight and wonder of somebody who thought he'd never see any of this again.
he watches a sunset. he watches the rain fall. he watches a spider spin a web. he watches a waterfall. he smells and tastes and feels and sees and hears all of the things he left behind. he misses his home on erid. he's never been happier to be anywhere in his life. it's strange. rocky, it's strange. this isn't home, anymore. but it's still part of me. rocky, it's strange.
there's a statue of him in every major city he visits. he stands in front of the school he used to teach at, which was named after a dead president when he was here. now it's called ryland grace memorial middle school. it was named for him as the sun got brighter and the earth mourned his sacrifice yet again, but praised him for saving them. the lab he used to teach in, on the days he got to lead practical experiments, is named after rocky. rocky, it's for you! they love you, too! rocky, this sign is for you, it says your name!
eva stratt is an old woman, now. she was pardoned, in the end, in the wave of relief that followed the beatles' arrival with the taumeba. she's lived out the rest of her life quietly, ambition tamped down in the wake of it all. she's still sharp. harsh. she greets grace with an, "I told you so," but even after so many years, grace can see that she's glad to see him. glad he survived. glad he doesn't seem angry with her.
and it's not that grace has forgive her. he explains this to her over a cup of strong, black coffee. rocky explores the forest to give them time to speak. it's not that he forgives her. what she did, the decision she made for him, it wasn't right. it wasn't good. it saved the world, yes, but it wasn't fair. but. but, he says. i have a good life. i have friends. i have a classroom. i know now that you were wrong about me, back then. i am not a coward, and i am not selfish. i was afraid. i was terrified. i was lost. and now i am none of those things. i do not forgive you, but i am not angry with you, either. it is what it is. rocky and i, we saved two worlds. i can live with that, even if i don't forgive you. and eva stratt nods and understands. and they finish their coffee.
a handful of grace's students, the last class he taught before being wrapped up in the end of the world, they ask to see him. not all of them. some of them didn't make it through the disasters that came with the years long dimming. some of them never really believed that grace was the one who saved the world, falling into the rhetoric of those who say the whole thing was a hoax, and the weather patterns fixing themselves is just proof of it. but the ones who do come are surprised when grace remembers each of their names. remembers where they sat in his classroom, and the jokes they thought were funny and the jokes they thought were lame. they talk to him and he remembers throwing them beanbags in the end of the world and trying to make them laugh. when grace laughs at something rocky sings into the world, he's laughing through more than a few tears. he tells his students, the kids he saved the world for, that they've just been called leaky blobs by the other savior of the world.
when his students leave, grace sits in the setting sun, strong and warm, and looks out over the ocean. rocky, isn't it beautiful? rocky, don't you see? we made this possible, rocky. we saved them. we saved this. rocky, we did it.
and for maybe the first time since it all started, grace believes it. rocky, we did it. we did it. we saved them. we did it.
Eva Stratt really did bring a nervous shaking dog into a room full of wolves and said everybody clap for him or I’ll blow this whole building up. Absolutely nobody is doing it like her. Captain of the Pathetic Little Guy Club.
dude woke up with no memory of who he is but he still managed to make 5 different Star Trek references and i really respect him for that