LETTING THE DAYS GO BY
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@discountshostakovich
LETTING THE DAYS GO BY
Oh boy
Time to start a new notebook and fill it with random ideas that will make me hate myself for having then when I read them six months from now
weird quasi poetic shit like āive ended up with so many throw pillows who does that remind me of I donāt even like vintage art prints im more of a hang impressionists up to seem cultured guyā
@dnd-apothecary
The gnome said nothing. Just gave me a glanceā¦
Just gave me a very sad, sad backwards glaceā¦
As he lifted himself by the seat of his pants.
And Iāll never forget the grim look on his face
When he heisted himself and took leave of this place,
Through a hole in the rules, without leaving a trace.
The Chasseur In The Forest, Caspar David Friedrich
doing the lordās work
something from a thing Iām writing
āWell, if I had to put it to brass tacks, I guess I never really felt cared about.ā
The doc stopped jotting for half a second and looked up at me over his reading glasses. He bit his upper lip, formulating, giving me hope that weād found an avenue to work on.Ā
āIs that whatās so important to you?ā, he asked.Ā
I had to think about that one. Nadellās shirt was buttoned the wrong way. It had always seemed to me that he wanted to lean into that tweedy mensch archetype. The thinning hair, the tailored gabardine, the tasteful cufflinks- I suppose he went to all that trouble because he felt it never distracted. Or, perhaps, it allowed anyone who spoke to him to know that he was a man to be listened to. For someone so dedicated to a practiced and polished line of questioning, I realized that the way he prevented himself as a service was remarkably holistic.Ā
āI donāt think so. I guess I just resent the absence of it more than anything else, especially since I try so hard to be someone worth noticing and investing into- and, I resent the fact that thatās taking over what I want to be my own mindset, with the whole service to others thing.ā
found an old one I wrote a while ago
smelling pinesap in the planks on a dead sunny day, hearing the joyous screams of children crusading against the summer, lying on the deck of that weathered mess is where I first fell. I fell, tumbling by memories that swung on hammock strings and swum through turgid streams, into bright green eyes under a male gaze. leaning into the softness of a pillowcase and a shared tissue, seeing the devil in her deeds and the lace on her collar, believing then that it was no mistake or eager forwardness: for a time, there, i found peace. i never saw ice and fire in those eyes, only the shadow of a pounding wind and rain. but beyond them, endlessy confounding and compounding, i found repeated sunshine that toppled down so many hastily thrown up walls. so, then, i fear that the despair will drown that out. i fear the inevitability of beautiful passion slumping and decaying into that selfsame malaise. ~~~ I like finding things Iāve written yesterday that I might disagree with today. Mainly because that separation allows me to see whatās good and what isnāt. I want to stop this silly ee cummings lowercase thing, but itās like a comfortable pair of shoes- I know walking in them will end up being just fine, but I worry Iāll never find a new pair that, despite itās flaws, surpasses itās peers when it finds a way to shine.
Broadway!BMC felt like a caricature of what it was tbh. Not to say the actors didn't do their jobs well or perform, just didn't feel right.
Iām sad how... half baked the broadway version ended up being too. The producers really goofed on it by trying to make it more appealing to the fan crowd while ignoring the fixable issues the original show had
I love tumblr
today i learned that people get really pissed if you have anything to criticize about things they like
How to make Be More Chill a good musical
Be More Chill is a show I have a huge soft spot for- itās a fantastic premise (both the idea of the Squip and the elements of parodying all the shitty tropes we have in stories about youth) and thereās some pretty clever and fun music.
However, in the transition to Broadway, the producers of the show compounded on the flaws of the original, while moving farther away from what made the Two River version likable- most notably, trying to pander to the fans of the show that boosted it into popularity on social media. Not even a bad idea, but they did it really poorly. The way they ought to have gone was to rewrite the leading characters, among other stuff.
But first, Iāll quickly go over what works about Be More Chill that spoke to me when I first stumbled upon it- defining the paradigm of the concept makes it easier to understand why Iād change what Iād change.
Be More Chill, in a lot of ways, is/was a deconstruction of the School Musical- think Mean Girls, Legally Blonde, Dear Evan Hansen, and, to an extent, Heathers. That deconstruction is pretty half baked because it focuses too hard on being funny, but all of the pieces are there. For example, Jeremy being the stooge that he is allows for some commentary about the nature of the milquetoast, inherently relatable protagonists weāve gotten too used to. Michael, the stereotypical best friend who would do anything for the protagonist, is a vessel for the show to ask us to think about the plot-devicey nature of these characters- are they people with feelings, or do they exist for the protagonist to bounce off of? The ever-present trio of popular girls seem to be bratty queen bees, but we get to peek into the dysfunction and insecurities that drive that behavior. (This is the pretty much the only aspect the Broadway show nailed almost perfectly.) You get the idea for the other archetypes- the immaculate Love Interest, Dorky Dad, Jock, Bully, etc.
Keeping that in mind, the way to make this a good show is to reframe Be More Chill as a revision of the cultural staple of those tropes into a modern context. Those rewrites I mentioned start to really fit into a more cohesive and satisfying narrative when you do so.
Character rewrites: Michael and Christine, as they are now, exist as characters that enable Jeremy to develop- realistically, yes, that is the job of every supporting character, but that doesnāt exclude them from having their own arcs and development.
Michael: Michael in The Bathroom is so effective- not only is it a punch in the gut, but itās a big moment where the archetype is ripped open and the audience realizes that Michael actually matters and how harmful Jeremyās actions are. However, the show does nothing with that- Michael goes right back to existing solely for Jeremy. For Michael, Iād suggest that his ending isnāt just straight up forgiving Jeremy unconditionally- Michael is willing to take the shot, to come in and save the day, perhaps in a reprise of MITB where he decides that heāll be brave enough to confront his friendās stupid actions. After working with Jeremy in the Play, he is reassured that he and Jeremy are good friends who work well, but he makes it clear to Jeremy how hurt he was by his treatment and that Jeremy needs to be a better friend. As such, Michael learns that he is worth being treated well by others and most importantly himself. That gives him an arc- he starts dependent on Jeremy, anxious, and using his love for his friend as an excuse to ignore his own issues, and ends having learned how to healthily give and take in a relationship and to respect himself.
Christine: Christine, on the other hand, is an object on a pedestal for Jeremy to attain and literally almost nothing else. Thereās a little bit to her- Christine is afraid of life skipping her by, and wants āthings to be easyā. So, instead of being the cardboard cutout she is, Christine should be motivated by finding the easiest way to meet her self-imposed standards of being fulfilled- successful at Theater and in a happy relationship. This characterization displays the problematic nature of the generic love interest for love interestās sake. Christine dates Jake not because Jeremy needs a motivator to embrace the squip, but because sheās afraid and lonely. āA Guy Iād Be Intoā and āUpgradeā would feel disingenuous and artificial, which both explores how wrong Christineās forcing a relationship is, and the trope-y teeny bopper song. At the end of the show, she fights to break put of the trance, which leads the Squip to bring up Jake, offering Christine the chance to become that fulfilled person she dreams of. Christine refuses, and she becomes the one to deactivate the Squips. That way, both Christine and Michaelās decisions to do the best thing allow them to be heroes alongside Jeremy. (Jeremyās moment of redemption comes anyway, when he decides to try and break the Squips hold on the school, but fails because of his previous surrendering of control to the machine.) When Jeremy finally gathers the strength to ask her out, she declines, saying that she doesnāt really know Jeremy all that well and that she just isnāt ready for a relationship- but she wonāt close the door. So, her arc goes from feeling helpless and needing to meet arbitrary standards to finding the independence she wants for the rest of the world in herself.
Jeremy: Christine and Michaelās new arcs, of course, both define the growth Jeremy needs to undergo perfectly. Jeremy needs to learn how to expect respect from others and for himself, and he needs to learn that dating Christine and being popular arenāt the keys to his happiness. As a result, the supporting cast enables Jeremyās development by teaching him by example while still being relevant and alive characters. However, Jeremy doesnāt deserve the happy ending he gets. I addressed that he shouldnāt magically become all chummy with Michael and Chrstine already, but Jeremyās decision to decline the Squip only earns him the chance for redemption. It makes no sense that everything is perfect with his dad and the rest of the school all declaring themselves his unconditional friends. Brooke should be rightfully upset at being used by Jeremy, Mr Heere should be furious at Jeremy for his misbehavior, and so on. Jeremy made the mess, and it will be a lot harder for him to earn forgiveness. At the end of the story, Jeremy should instead come to the conclusion that he has a long way to go to become happy, and begin the climb to self improvement- the current resolution is only half of that. (āOf all the voices in my head, the loudest one is mine/So I guess Iāll start the uphill climb/It might be hard but thatās just fine! [Im no lyricist, but you get the idea.]) So, the story ends on a high note, with the people who did the right thing succeeding, and Jeremy repairing the damage heās done and to earn his happiness- a modern refinement of the ending of these kinds of stories, thus completing the deconstruction.
Other stuff:
Transitioning away from character fixes, the show has an awful flow from song to song- numbers like Halloween and the Smartphone Hour are vestigial little criticisms of youth culture that jack up the pacing of the thing and rip you out of the story. You know something is wrong when someone burning down a house is irrelevant to the plot. The way Iād fix that is to more closely involve Jeremy in those parts of the plot. Jeremy should immerse himself fully in the party, singing his own lyrics about his transition into the lifestyle the Squip wants for him. The audience can be aware of how dangerous this is- the drugs and alcohol at the party, the gossip loop about rich, Jeremyās awful treatment of Brooke, and so on, but Jeremy is invested in it and loving it. That makes his decision to fight the Squip after seeing Christineās disgust at him taking one that much more impactful- itās the turning point of the show, and yet it is irrelevant in the plot compared to the Play.
The show tries to be too much to be liked by its younger fans- Loser, Geek, Whatever is the worst example of this. Just because a line Ā makes someone go āSKDKSDSKDJSKDS MICHAEL IS SO GAY I CANTā or āJEREMY IS SUCH A GOOD PORTRAYAL OF G.A.D. OMGā online doesnāt mean itās good writing. Some other examples where pandering ruins stuff: the āDo you love him?ā joke in the Pants Song, āMy mothers would be thrilled!ā, that god awful ADD joke in Play Rehearsal, Rich coming out as bisexual.
I love the idea that the squip adopts the persona of someone it knows the victim will trust and idolize- itās great worldbuilding that lets the viewer participate in the story by thinking about who theirs would be. However, that doesnāt mean you go all in on the Keanu Reeves joke! Jason Tamās quip is so bad! Stop the stupid Keanu/Surfer voice! Please!
Pierre is a Gay Drunk ⢠confirmed
Tea and the Tonys
Everyone complains about sweeps but like,,, you realize they arenāt winning first second and third place for only best musical right? Like theyāre all very different awards for different aspects of the show and in this case the bands visit deserved every one of them. Itās not being hypocritical to complain about deh and not tbv because tbv was ground breaking, diverse, and deep. Along with very good. People were upset about deh because it was another white dominated pop musical that brought nothing new other than a (poorly done) look into mental illness. Thatās not what tbv is. Like itās the first āmiddle eastern showā to EVER win. Thatās huge
And people are saying the American theatre wing is elitist and yeah thatās true but itās not because they didnāt vote for mean girls or spongebob or frozen aka the commercialized musicals. Thereās nothing wrong with commercialized feel good pop musicals or musicals meant for kids because itās good to have fun! But people have to understand these are still very basic musicals with only feel good messages (again nothing wrong with that) and sometimes fun feel good just doesnāt hold a candle to deep, meaningful shows. Itās not bing elitist in this case lmao yāall are just bitter
And people saying tbv is just as commercialized bc itās based off a movie donāt know what theyāre saying lmao. Itās clear mean girls spongebob and frozen were created JUST for money. They didnāt bring anything new to the ideas and themes of the movie. Again, fun musicals can be good, but these just werenāt. Tbv was never as popular or known, Hell, even as a musical it wasnāt. Therefore itās not commercialized
Mean girls wasnāt ārobbedā. Great Comet was, but not mean girls. Mean girls was a pop high school musical. Thatās not ground breaking or fresh at all. Great comet was a Russian rock opera. Thatās new and innovative, and the fact it lost to deh, a white pop musical, was disappointing.
And if you say tbv didnāt deserve all itās wins,,, maybe consider you might be a little racist. Like your favorite show didnāt win whatever this is old but be respectful? And like acknowledge why your show didnāt win maybe?
We get it youād rather see something you like succeed over poc winning and paving way for diversity in theatre,,, ok
when iām silent, i want to speak; when iām speaking i wish i was silent
e.e. (via eefrostpoetry)
i love his work
*Porcelain clinking noise*
itās kinda dark in here
remember seeing pictures of old white guys in your high school english classes?
well, i wonāt say that i was scribblingĀ āmr voltaireā in the margins of my math homework, but i think it was the first time i found myself enamored with someone that the other guys just werent.Ā
after a while, you sort of get the sense that maybe it isnāt the best idea to tell your classmates that john keats gets you hot under the collar, but nothing really prepares you for having to dodge the rest of it. ill tell you, if i had a nickel for every time i had to tell my parents i wasnt gay!Ā
arent i lucky that i get to escape that uncomfortable confrontation without lying, too? i mean, what a blessing that at least i got to be normal enough to like girls, too! one or two conversations about nonsense, and i get a free pass to beĀ āone of the guysā without having to look over my shoulder.Ā
still, though, you cant every really manage to hide it that well. you ever had people get together and throw up their tinders on the apple teevee? boy, i had a hard time explaining who trevor was, spending the next few weeks overcompensating my attraction to women just to fit in.Ā
maybe i just ought to rip off the band-aid, but, at the same time, the closet door is thick enough that i dont think anyone will be able to hit me
al natural, baby
Iāve gotten fond with patting myself on the back for escaping addiction, lately. I keep looking down my nose at people who drink, smoke, vape, caffeinate, the works, on the regular. Itās more satisfying to separate myself from those people- who cares if Iāve tried āem all? I faced them head on and decided they werenāt for me! And thatās what it is: Strength. Of. Will. Iāve got it. Iām okay! I am a good person!
I really hate those rationalizations, though. Of course Iām addicted. Who isnāt? Not to cigarettes or vape juice, though. My drugās comfort, 100 percent home grown and organic. Maybe thatās why I constantly crave pity, or why Iām just so darn good at just retreating into a self-imposed innermost apocalypse.
But, Iāve been chasing a different high, too. Going for it cold-turkey, as a matter of fact. I donāt know if comfortās got some sort of diminishing returns, but thereās something irresistible about far-reaching fantasies- especially when some stupid little empirical detail reinforces your faith in them.Ā