♡ Marriage with Everett Gray: An Insider's Look ♡
So as many of you know I was recently married to Local Bitch™️, Everett Gray. I have received tons of questions about it: "what's it like", "is being his wife the same as what I fantasize about", "was it really worth marrying him out of spite", etc.
Well, I'm a reporter first and a bitch second so I'm gonna give you the details you craved.
The first thing I'll mention is that if I were to rate the "Everett Gray Marriage Experience," I would actually give it about a 7/10. It wasn't completely terrible, but there was always room for improvement. He's definitely entertaining, so at the very least you're not going to be bored, but it's almost certain that at some point throughout the day he's going to get on your nerves.
Sometimes you might consider physically fighting him, you won't because it's a crime and an all around terrible thing to do, but you will think about it at least once during your marriage.
Everett enjoys sending late night and early morning memes. Very early morning memes. 3:30 A.M. memes. He also wants you to respond to those memes. He often resends the same meme because he forgot hes already sent it because of the sheer volume of memes you've received from him. If you don't have an unlimited phone plan, do not marry him until you upgrade. Your cell provider will not pity you.
He sometimes likes to pretend he has "Himbo Energy," he doesn't. If you want to remind him of that, you can take him to the arcade and just have one conversation with Kam and it'll clear everything up immediately. He won't talk about himbos for at least another week and a half.
He's stingy about his mom's baking in his care packages, which is honestly fair because it's amazing, but if you press long enough he will share a small portion with you.
Sometimes he will be really nice, like actual "husband goals" nice, which always unnerved me because I'm a suspicious bitch but like you guys would probably like it. I can say with certainty that he's very supportive of whatever stuff you're trying to do, like obviously there's a limit to that but for the most part he's really solid in it.
He's very loyal to his friends and family, which I'm sure anyone with eyes could tell, but even if you get married on a dare you get looped into that too.
Arguments will definitely happen because he's a messy-ass dude, but its more likely to be a more exasperated "you're so fucking stupid" argument than like a real fight.
I could say more things, but honestly I really did wait until the last minute to write this and my flu meds are wearing off as I type. So this is all you guys are getting right now. If you guys want more content like this, let us know in our ask box. If you thought this was a total waste of time, let us know that too so we can avoid posting content y'all hate, our feelings won't get hurt, I swear.