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@discourse-daily
Quarantine has us in a discourse dry spell so we've just been asking around for any interesting or funny stories.
The best we have thus far is that Everett Gray, and several members of the Popular and Artist cliques, have received a bloody nose from walking into their door frames.
Don't text and walk kids.
Motherfucker that was a secret
You're a cautionary tale now
Quarantine has us in a discourse dry spell so we've just been asking around for any interesting or funny stories.
The best we have thus far is that Everett Gray, and several members of the Popular and Artist cliques, have received a bloody nose from walking into their door frames.
Don't text and walk kids.
Everett Gray is officially back on his bullshit!
Proposing to a literal gray circle with sunglasses over a lie about the energy he projects into the world.
Everett, my dear, I say this with only love: It is better to embrace a cruel truth than a comfortable delusion.
♡ Marriage with Everett Gray: An Insider's Look ♡
So as many of you know I was recently married to Local Bitch™️, Everett Gray. I have received tons of questions about it: "what's it like", "is being his wife the same as what I fantasize about", "was it really worth marrying him out of spite", etc.
Well, I'm a reporter first and a bitch second so I'm gonna give you the details you craved.
The first thing I'll mention is that if I were to rate the "Everett Gray Marriage Experience," I would actually give it about a 7/10. It wasn't completely terrible, but there was always room for improvement. He's definitely entertaining, so at the very least you're not going to be bored, but it's almost certain that at some point throughout the day he's going to get on your nerves.
Sometimes you might consider physically fighting him, you won't because it's a crime and an all around terrible thing to do, but you will think about it at least once during your marriage.
Everett enjoys sending late night and early morning memes. Very early morning memes. 3:30 A.M. memes. He also wants you to respond to those memes. He often resends the same meme because he forgot hes already sent it because of the sheer volume of memes you've received from him. If you don't have an unlimited phone plan, do not marry him until you upgrade. Your cell provider will not pity you.
He sometimes likes to pretend he has "Himbo Energy," he doesn't. If you want to remind him of that, you can take him to the arcade and just have one conversation with Kam and it'll clear everything up immediately. He won't talk about himbos for at least another week and a half.
He's stingy about his mom's baking in his care packages, which is honestly fair because it's amazing, but if you press long enough he will share a small portion with you.
Sometimes he will be really nice, like actual "husband goals" nice, which always unnerved me because I'm a suspicious bitch but like you guys would probably like it. I can say with certainty that he's very supportive of whatever stuff you're trying to do, like obviously there's a limit to that but for the most part he's really solid in it.
He's very loyal to his friends and family, which I'm sure anyone with eyes could tell, but even if you get married on a dare you get looped into that too.
Arguments will definitely happen because he's a messy-ass dude, but its more likely to be a more exasperated "you're so fucking stupid" argument than like a real fight.
I could say more things, but honestly I really did wait until the last minute to write this and my flu meds are wearing off as I type. So this is all you guys are getting right now. If you guys want more content like this, let us know in our ask box. If you thought this was a total waste of time, let us know that too so we can avoid posting content y'all hate, our feelings won't get hurt, I swear.
THE STAFF OF DISCOURSE DAILY WOULD LIKE TO APOLOGIZE FOR CIRCULATING FALSE INFORMATION AT THIS TIME
Our reporter misread the post and thought those tags belonged on Mr. Gray's post, however it was actually reblogged by a third party! That's our mistake and we take full responsibility for it.
SSB Affairs Weekly has recently headhunted disgraced informant Shiloh Fields as a regular source
Considering we fired Mr. Fields for incorrect information, while we are a basic drama site, speaks volumes about the integrity of the entire blog.
We may only report on Messy Situations, but at least you can rest easy knowing what we've said is true!
HOT OFF THE PRESSES
After a series of borderline suspicious messages from Shiloh Fields, Discourse Daily reporters have worked themselves into a frenzy to find his location.
Despite what he's said about remaining in his class, an anonymous source has revealed that he definitely left the room several minutes ago.
However, this is where the story takes an interesting turn: A student returned to the class wearing Mr. Fields' signature hat, however upon closer inspection this student was not Shiloh.
His whereabouts are currently unknown.
After a sudden discourse drought we may finally have some content
Things are heating up once again between Rex Eld and Everett Gray.
Why? Because they're messy people by nature.
Everett decided to use the common, but still extremely odd insult(?) "I'm banging your mom" and as you can assume, Mr. Eld was less than thrilled about the news.
In his response the tags were scalding. Even mentioning Mr. Gray's father, who is rumored to have a... Strained relationship with his son.
This move prompted a swift response from Gray, which ended with a notice for Rex to mind his own business.
Rex, consider taking that advice. We, the authors of discourse daily, definitely won't!
More on this story as it occurs.
Shiloh Fields: Mr. Steal Your Man?
Everett gray has entered a sugar and caffeine rush and has been acting extremely out of character. During this confusing time for him Shiloh Field, local liar, has seemed to reap endless benefits.
The two usually don't "vibe" but now Everett has said that snake-boy is "pretty."
Shiloh at first seemed a bit unnerved by this change but now? He is thriving in the attention. He craves it. He's seeking it out. Is he trying to claim a position as Gray's "side hoe?"
This reporter says: Begone Thot.
More on this story as it updates.
Shiloh are you okay??
Yeah! I’m fine! Haha! I’ve never felt better ^v^
Carol Anderson Reporting for discourse daily: This just in, Shiloh has lied!
I admit that I was very confused and I was slightly overwhelmed but now I am fine. Haha
Mhm convenient
Shiloh are you okay??
Yeah! I’m fine! Haha! I’ve never felt better ^v^
Carol Anderson Reporting for discourse daily: This just in, Shiloh has lied!
@askeverettgray LITERALLY COME SQUARE UP RIGHT NOW
BREAKING NEWS
STUDENT EVERETT GRAY HAS BEEN LITERALLY THROWN ACROSS THE COURTYARD BY STAR REPORTER CAROL ANDERSON
MORE ON THIS STORY AS IT OCCURS
It is with a heavy heart that we have to stop accepting submissions from Mr. Fields
We at discourse daily thrive over speculation, but we do not publish straight up lies.
In other news, Nate Lawson is set to make an excellent recovery and has announced that he will never get sick again! What a claim, we hope it works out for him.
Hello SSBites!
Tomorrow morning Bae returns from his extended leave from the blog! It has been a pleasure to report on the day's discourse for you.
From all of us here at Discourse Daily, Thank you all so much for your continued support, we are so glad to be the school's #1 discourse blog!
Are u and carol like in love or smth
Carol’s feelings are one sided.
Jb went from like a nine to a ten tho
“Staff” he’s so pretentious. Just say it’s you. “Staff” smh
Hello, this is Carol Anderson from Discourse Daily! Our chief editor, Mr. Pyoun has been on an extended leave since October 1st! I've been filling in for him for the time being and I'd like to say, please feel absolutely free to square the mcfuck up! Your vague posts aren't vague, and we aren't sure you know what vague even means!
Have a lovely day, and stay in your lane ☀️💘
Hey, carol! Firstly, thanks soooo much for responding to my inquiry! I’d love to square the mcfuck up but sadly I only like to fight people worthwhile! Super sorry! Secondly, this actually wasn’t a vague post! I know! Crazy right?
Please, return to your basic ass drama page and have a super awesome day 💖💘💕
Everett, hello, it's Carol again! I hope the day is going okay for you, hope you're not busy with your friends or-
Oops haha so sorry, forgot you have no friends! My mistake, for a second I just totally forgot you have to have at least one positive quality in order for someone to like you. Whoops :P
Anyway just wanted to say that its totally, 100% cool you don't wanna square up. I mean with a reputation as weak as yours, you really dont need to add "got my ass kicked by a girl in front of the accessory store"
I will get back to my very successful drama page, and I hope you have a blast by yourself crying to celine dion cds!
Oh yeah carol! You’re so great and popular which is exactly why I’ve never heard of you. I have plenty of friends but it makes sense how someone like you wouldn’t know what that looks like. Enjoy preying in petty drama like a vulture carol. Maybe one day, you’ll become a reporter for real
Oh, I'm so very sorry you havent heard of me. We must be in different crowds, see I associate with people who know how to read. I know that's a real change for you, but maybe one day Nate can teach you. Perhaps start with Green Eggs and Ham, I think thats right around your reading level!
I have a clear career path, but don't worry I'm sure desperate housewives would love someone as petty as you to at least guest star.
Kisses,
Carol Anderson
Believe me I can read. I just think dumbing things down to a third grade level for publishing purposes is beneath me. <3 must be tough to have that be the extent of ur capabilities.
Thank you for explaining that you weren't capable of reading the literary classic, "Green Eggs and Ham," until the third grade. It was so nice of you to further my point, because the book's interest and reading level both begin at Kindergarten and end by the third grade.
It's so humble of you to highlight your shortcomings like this, and I know it must have been just so difficult for you to use such a hard word like extent or capabilities.
Nate's tutoring must really be helping you out. Tell me, how's it feel to be more of a 'work in progress/ charity ' while your so-called bff is just worlds above you in... Well everything?
I was referring to journalism but good try!
Ooh burn, I'm crying over my laptop.
Sorry, I just couldn't understand how you haven't been "dumbing down" your posts this whole time? I mean, we all knew you weren't that bright, but surely you're not that dim either?
Lmao yeah but I’m not flexing how well I can read and how I can have intellectual conversations with people am I?
Aww it's so cute you think people want to have conversations with you.
Clearly u do
Did you miss that tag that says you just interact and people respond?
Because nobody wants a pompous little hipster, with the worst fashion sense they've ever had the displeasure to see, to get the last word.
Dude u have literally been engaging w me lmao
Again, but I'll space it out this time so maybe you can understand
You insert yourself into something
Through either a conversation, or a vague post, or whatever else
The person that Y o u initiated contact with replies
Because nobody wants you to get the last word, they continue replying
So technically an interaction has happened, this is the "engagement" you're experiencing
Now we will recap our interaction:
1.) A post from Discourse Daily mentioned our staff
2.) You insert yourself into the post by implying there is no staff
3.) I, the temporary chief editor, reply to correct the facts because I do not want you to get the last word
4.) you continue replying, the cycle goes on
Lemme break it down for you. This all started because YOU posted screenshots from MY post. I had a right to interact. You started this and I could frankly give less than a shit. This is mildly entertaining for me. You have also @ed me in a post
This is an established gossip blog, and it has been for months. Also, I was not the reporter on that story, because as I've said Discourse Daily has a Staff. There are multiple reporters, and because you and your group are such an unappealing bunch- your gossip is naturally more interesting to our readers than say Missy's.
Regardless on whether or not you had a right to respond, the Way you chose to respond was unnecessary.
You've said you dont give a shit.
You've said a fight with me isn't worth it.
Yet, time after time, I get a little notification with your name on it.
Yes, I did @ your blog, but why did I do that?
To start unnecessary drama, or to reply to a previous interaction of yours?
Discourse Daily has a reputation, One I plan to uphold, and if that means I have to send a few mean messages to some punk with bad hair? Then so be it.
We’re unpleasant, not unappealing. Our group is 100% verified hotness, as well as 100% more interesting than everyone else in the school, which is why the losers who comprise every other group are so fascinated by us.
I didnt necessarily mean physically unappealing, I meant it more in the sense of once you've seen the kind of people they are you just... Want to go back to looking from the distance again.
I will concede that some members of the group are attractive, but I can't say it's all of them. [that's more a matter of preference though]
The aesthetic value overall in the group is also a major reason students want to hear about their shenanigans.
