Dispatch Incorrect Quotes @dispatchincorrectquotes - Tumblr Blog

Robert: You do know that when I said I wanted a drink, I didn’t mean a latte, right? I was talking about alcohol—like, mind-numbing alcohol

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Sonar: I am not gay. I have relationships with women. And sex with men

Robert: I got news for you: that means you’re gay

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Sonar: It is the grittiest, most intense crime film of all time. It’s Scorsese and De Niro at their finest

Sonar: And Will Smith and Angelina Jolie are playing fish—

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Robert: I’m a Third

Invisigal: You said we couldn’t talk about our sex lives at work

Robert: That’s not what I meant, and you know it

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Robert: Love playing rock-paper-scissors with my dad. He always picks rock

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Sonar: Shut up, Your Honor, you wasn’t even there

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Sonar: I’m taking a look at your numbers, and it doesn’t look good. You have a lot of measurements. Quite a few variables. Robert: Is that… bad? Sonar: Variables are the #1 risk factor for outcomes. The past is a big contributor to the future. Robert: Isn’t that just causality? Sonar: Causality is the leading cause of death in this country. Robert: So what are my odds? Sonar: Do you have a family history? Robert: Of what? Sonar: Just, in general. Robert: …Yes? Sonar: Oh no.

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Coupe: Sometimes I like to place my hands on someone’s cheeks, look into their eyes... Coupe: ...And violently jerk their head until it snaps. Blazer: ...That took an unexpected turn. Robert: So did their neck.

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Sonar: Consider the fundraising over! Your hero has arrived! Blonde Blazer: Uhh… where did you get so much money from, Sonar? Sonar: Well, you know, I’m pretty good at numbers. I just crunched them, I stretched them, I analyzed my accounts, I timed the market- *police sirens start to wail in the background* Blonde Blazer: DID YOU ROB A BANK?! Sonar: Oh, come on, do you really think so little of me? *opens the bag as purple dye explodes on his face* Blonde Blazer: Sonar: …it was a credit union.

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Prism: Bonjour, Coupé. Voulez–vous coucher avec moi? Coupé: No, I don't want to sleep with you. Prism: Is that what that means? Oh, man, I had a really gross tennis instructor.

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Blonde Blazer: Bottling up negative emotions is bad for your health, so you shouldn't do it. Robert: I know. That's why I bottle up all my emotions, both positive and negative, so it cancels out. Blonde Blazer: Th-that's not how that works-

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Chase: What happened to your nose? Robert: I used it to break some guy's fist.

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Sonar: Do I sound smart, or am I smart? Prism: You sound unbearable, to be perfectly honest.

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Invisigal: *pulls back the curtain while Robert is showering* Invisigal: Hey, did we - stop screaming, it’s me - did we run out of Cheerios?

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Blonde Blazer: Robert? You just drove through a stop sign without stopping. Robert: I'll stop twice on the way back.

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Flambae: When you've been on the internet for as long as I have, you develop thick skin. Invisigal: The translucent part of your costume makes you look like a dumbass Flambae: The translucent part makes me look sexy, you fuck! *Chases after Invisigal*

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Sonar: Wow, that was quick thinking on that phony sacrifice stuff. Malevola: Oh, that was all real. Sonar: Wait, you were trying to help them kill us?! Malevola: If I’m gonna be sacrificed, I’m gonna do it right.

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