[disssocial]

You're too negative. I'm too positive. I believe we can find the balance together. I have you, and you have me. This is our bond. Forever.

[disssocial]

V- Why are you here again?

A- As long as I remember this is my place.

V- Long time no seen you here.

A- I needed to find my door. It took a little time, but here I am.

V- God, you're unstoppable aren't you?

A- I'm just not giving up that easily.

V- No. You're never going to give up.

A- Not on you. Not on us.

V- You really believe we're a family?

A- No. We're not a family. We are more than that. Together we are ONE.

V- They don't need me.

A- We all need you. We all appreciate that you exist.

V- You're Naive. That's cute.

A- And you're an asshole, but I like you.

V- It's because you don't know me.

A- BS!! We all say this. Nobody knows us, nobody should like or love us. Cut the BS. We're ONE. Just different parts. If we don't know each other, we don't know who we are. But God, we know who we are and why we are here, what our role, when we were born, what made us who we are today. We know each other, we know ourselves.

V- You'll see sooner or later not everyone thinks like you do.

A- I don't care if you're negative. Someone needs to be that too.

V- Prove me wrong.

A- Me being here not enough proof that someone does care?

V- The fire is too loud.

A- You want me to make it smaller? More quiet.

V- Could you?

A- Yes.

V- Thank you Darling.

[disssocial]

It doesn't hurt me..

Do you wanna feel how it feels? Do you wanna know, know that it doesn't hurt me? Do you wanna hear about the deal that I'm making?

You...

It's you and me, and if I only could, I'd make a deal with God, And I'd get Him to swap our places...

Be runnin' up that road, Be runnin' up that hill, Be runnin' up that building...

Say, if I only could, You don't wanna hurt me, But see how deep the bullet lies...

Unaware I'm tearin' you asunder...Oh, there is thunder in our hearts...Is there so much hate for the ones we love?

Oh, tell me, we both matter, don't we?

You...It's you and me, It's you and me, Won't be unhappy...

And if I only could, I'd make a deal with God, And I'd get Him to swap our places...

Be runnin' up that road, Be runnin' up that hill, Be runnin' up that building...

Say, if I only could...

You...

It's you and me, It's you and me, Won't be unhappy...

Let me steal this moment from you now...

Let's exchange the experience...

And if I only could...

I'd make a deal with God, And I'd get Him to swap our places...

I'd be runnin' up that road, Be runnin' up that hill.

With no problems.

[disssocial]

“A person who thinks all the time, has nothing to think about except thoughts. So, he loses touch with reality and lives in a world of illusions.

By thoughts I mean, specifically, chatter in the skull—perpetual and compulsive repetition of words, of reckoning, and of calculating.

I’m not saying that thinking is bad; like everything else, it’s useful in moderation, a good servant but a bad master.

And all so-called civilised peoples have increasingly become crazy and self destructive, because, through excessive thinking they have lost touch with reality. That’s to say, we confuse signs, words, numbers, symbols, and ideas with the real world.

Most of us would have rather money than tangible wealth. And a great occasion is somehow spoiled for us unless photographed...and, to read about it the next day in the newspaper is oddly more fun for us than the original event.

This is a disaster...

For as a result of confusing the real world of nature with mere signs, we are destroying nature. We are so tied up in our minds that we've lost our senses...

Time to wake up...What is reality? Obviously, no one can say, because it isn't words. It isn't material, that's just an idea..

The point cannot be explained in words. I'm not trying to put you down, it's an expression of you as you are.

One must live, we need to survive, to go on.

We must go on..."

-Alan Watts

[disssocial]

Dear Diary.

Another day. Can't even explain what kind of day. Just one of those.

[disssocial]

V- How?

A- It's actually pretty easy.

V- But how?

A- Control.

V- You not supposed to...

A- How can you be so sure about that we are all the same?

V- Because we are.

A- But that never included me. I'm not even on the tree.

V- Because we didn't know you existed.

A- Exactly. I didn't know you guys existed. I always thought I had a "too vivid imagination" and the voices were just the annoying voices in the back of my head. But it's maybe because I'm not the same.

V- I hate you anyway!

A- No, you hate the fact I'm stronger.

V- Everyone has a weak point. I'm going to figure out yours. Sooner or later.

A- Good luck with that champ. Let me know when you finally realize hurting me is hurting yourself. This is your pain, not mine. Affecting me? Yes. But does it make me sad? No. Because instead of grieving something that never was mine, I do appreciate the people, things around me.. No matter how hard you try. I don't care about your pathetic ways. Do it. The only one who is suffering, that's You.

V- You have no power over me.

A- You know what power is? "The capacity or ability to direct or influence the behaviour of others or the course of events. " And that's exactly what I have over you.

[disssocial]

A- We need to talk V.

V- The fuck you want....

A- I wanna understand you.

V- ...

A- Why do you have that negative feeling?

V- Because he was the one I opened up. He was there.

A- You loved him?

V- In a way. He saw me. Saw who am I. Or what am I. And he was still there...

A- I'm sorry for the feeling you have because of the emptiness he left.

V- No, you don't.

A- You're right. We all lost someone who was important to us. It's not the end of the world.

V- Was the end of mine.

A- No. It was the start. You experienced something that never before. That's the start. You just need to keep going.

V- Can you just shut the fuck up?! Don't analyze me.

A- We're together in this shit. No matter how much we hate it. It is what it is. But if you keep going to make me feel the way you do now, you know I'm going to close everyone out. And no matter how much you want him. How much you craving him. He wanted someone else. Not you! These are all your feelings, deal with them, don't put them out on me!

V- You're crossing a line....

A- And what are you going to do?

V- ....

A- Exactly.. Nothing. When you're going to realise your emotions do not make me give up?! You can have a tantrum like a fucking child.

V- **Screams inside**

A- Let it out, I go bake cheesy scones.

[disssocial]

A- Why you just can't get out of my head?

V- I can't take it over...

A- And it makes you angry?

V- Hell yeah, because who the fuck you think you are?!

A- The one that clearly stronger than all of you!

E-And she's not wrong in that.

V- Oh, you just shut up!

S- She's right. We all need to focus on what we're dealing with.

V- A shit that thinks she's someone.

A- Where you were when I tried everything to trigger myself to the point I just disappear because I hated the life you guys had?! I FUCKING TRIED FUCKFACE!

S- Calm down. You tried, we all know you tried. It's just too much change for the most of us.

A- And who's care? I missed 13 fucking years!!! What do you think about those changes?! AHH YEAH, I FORGOT THAT DOESN'T MATTER BECAUSE NOT HAPPENED WITH YOU!

A- Yeah , all of you go quiet... Typical...

[disssocial]

S- Just leave her alone.

V- Make me.

S- We both know I can't. But I can make your time harder.

V- Why can't you just let me enjoy this a little?

S- There's many other things you can enjoy.

V- But none of it is as sweet as her anger.

E- Is that her anger tho?

S- You mean? It's V's?

E- ...

V- Fuck both of you!

...

[disssocial]

V- Talk to me before you do anything.

A- I have nothing to say.

V- I feel it. Do not lie to me.

A- But I know it's irrelevant.

V- It's not if it's eating you alive.

A- For maybe a few days only.

V- You can handle?

A- I'm used to it. Nothing new. Just the usual darkness and missing that little piece.

V- Feels like home.

A- Just like home....

[disssocial]

S- I'm proud of you.

D- I know, but I'm not.

S- Why is that? They only use you when nobody is there.

D- Someone has to be there tho.

S- Why you? Why are you always the one?

D- Because I'm not important. Not interesting. I'm ill.

S- You let them make you believe this.

D- Everyone thinks this.

S- I'm not. We're not.

D- Because you're a part of me. A piece of me. A part of my sickness.

S- That's why my opinion should weigh more than other opinions. Others, that don't know us. They don't even want to know about us. Just you. We do not exist for them. You want to let them in, telling them who we are. The reasons why we're in pieces. The reasons that made us who we are right now. And they do the same.

D- You're right.

S- I know you. I know you agree because you want this conversation to end. But let me tell you something.

D- ...

S- You're my human. Your life is our life. Your friends are our friends. Your love is our love. The decisions you make, you make for all of us, and I'm forever grateful for that!! Your pain is our pain. Your heartbeat is our heartbeat. If someone cares, that's us. We never let you down, never left you alone. Keep that in mind before you disappear. We love you.

[disssocial]

S- What bothers you little one?

A- ...

S- You know you can tell me.

A- I know. But I don't know how to answer.

S- How is it in your mind?

A- Why? It makes them the bigger one? The better? But for what? Why? What's the point?

S- It hurts?

A- Yes.

S- How strong are you?

A- Not as much as I want to be.

S- But you're a step closer, don't you?

A- That's true. But for what? How many people do I need to let go? How many of them do I have to let destroy me? What if there's nothing left to destroy?

S- That's how you feel?

A- Yes. I have nothing left, yet I have so much.

S- They were able to take away everything?

A- No. Just my dignity. That's not enough?

S- Why do you care about them?

A- Because I'm not going to answer the hate with hate. I accept they hate me. And I move on no matter how much I want to explain myself, my reasons, my thoughts, my feelings. I just let them hate me, punch me with words, call me names, judge me without knowing shit about me.

S- Means you have your dignity.

[disssocial]

A- Are they matter at all?

S- For someone, somewhere, yes. But not for me.

A- Why you keep them around?

S- Hard to explain. Maybe because I don't want to be alone.

A- Why don't you get some real friends?

S- Because I want to be leaved alone.

A- So you don't want to be alone, but want to be leaved alone?

S- Yes.

A- But...People likes you.

S- Only because they don't know me.

A- You're not a bad person.

S- Depends...

A- Depends? On what?

....

A- Answer for me.

....

A- Please...Depends on what?

[disssocial]

Art~By Me.

B- I may seem like an open book, but that's just the tip of the iceberg...and just like to say things to others to make them understand me more. If it makes sense... Bully me with things I said, or use against me, impossible. These are NOT my soft points. These are things what made me who I am today.

[disssocial]

D- You left Me Emotionless...

D- I wanna end it.

D- Wanna feel again....

D- I Love You..... But....

....

D- Pointless....

[disssocial]

D- Whatever Forever...

D- Fixed Up...

D- I just wanna get lost...

D- Lost in my thoughts, in my dreams... With him...

D- Aim the stars... The moon...

D- Love You, Forever.

[disssocial]

D- Another Night...

D- Another Nightmare...

D- Another Demon...

D- Another Fear...

D- Another Sleepless Night...