Nonsense!

"A good, odd look at the world whirling around out there..." -Samuel Clements (not actually)

[sweetsicks]

tstpdfw you have to apologize for everything because You Know Everyone Might Not Hate You But What If They Do

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THIS

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[chescaleigh]

set a calendar alert RIGHT NOW. this is the work we need to do moving into 2018. we need to be READY.

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Rambling

So we're not even two weeks into the Trump regime and I already miss Bush. Fuck me running. Never thought I'd be nostalgic for Dubya, but compared to the rabid orangutan in charge... To quote The Dude, my only hope is that the Big Lewboski kills me before the Germans cut my dick off. The guy we have at the helm is basically a whiney toddler playing monopoly. His dad taught him the game, and gave him a bunch of money to play with. He built a bunch of stuff and got all proud of himself. A bunch of people landed on his property, but somehow he still went bankrupt a few times. Everyone let him keep playing because, well, he's a fragile little kid. If the rules had applied equally to him he'd have flipped the board and ran off crying. And now that toddler is president. Fuck.

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Father Santori loitered restlessly outside McSweeny’s for his compatriot to arrive. Several minutes later, Rabbi Katzenberg approached him…

Quick read from Imaginary Frenemies. 

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Imaginary Frenemies – Medium

Humor and creative writing publication with a large focus on characters, writers, themes, etc. that is “out of step” with mainstream culture and aesthetics.

Check out the new project! Writers of all shapes and sizes are encouraged to submit work through Medium.com- except heptagons. Seven sides? Obnoxious.

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dsawyer1992 : I will write you five original jokes for $5 on www.fiverr.com

For only $5, dsawyer1992 will write you five original jokes. | I'm offering a variety of joke writing packages, ranging from 5 original jokes ( 5 Jokes 4U) in 4 days, to 10 assorted jokes, or | On Fiverr.com

Check it out! dsawyer1992 will write you five original jokes for $5 on #Fiverr

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dsawyer1992 : I will protest anything you want for a half hour for $10 on www.fiverr.com

For only $10, dsawyer1992 will protest anything you want for a half hour. | For ten American dollars I will adopt whatever issue you want to protest/support for 30min. Seriously folks, Literally any belief or political opinion you want | On Fiverr.com

Check it out! dsawyer1992 will protest anything you want for a half hour for $10 on #Fiverr

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Actually some decent editing software on Android. Who'd have thought that...

[jockalot]

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My answer to “God works in mysterious ways.”

[frickyeahschizoaffectiveseahorse]

Not exactly on theme, but this felt far more appropriate to capture my angle

Top text: “We have to ask, why does he keep seeing people in shadows-”

Bottom text: “Could he be schizotypal? I think yes.”

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Punfight from the other day

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Dear Chick-Fil-A...

My name isn’t important, but I recently chose to eat at one of your many establishments. Since I was unsure of your position on indoor picnics, I balked- a neurotic response, I know. I also know some of your executives have donated to anti-gay lobbyists in the past- they could also be anti-picnic, and I don’t have the energy to deal with “God Hates Baskets” signs and midwestern garbage people getting riled up.

I purchased a combo and was handed a beverage and a long purple box. Confused due to the substitution of an odd plastic talisman for the chicken strips I ordered, I see that it has no writing or marks at all. Thanks to it’s complete lack of any information on the rounded square container, I had no clue what the fuck was going on. My instinct was to awkwardly wait by the napkins, condiments, etc.

The four(ish) minutes it took for my order to be prepared were dull. I did notice the postmarks of all your newspapers list McDonald’s as the recipient. Presumably you boosted them papers for street cred, but why would you even waste the time? Print media is dead. Current events presented in an outdated medium you didn’t actually purchase is a disorienting affectation, but I enjoyed its inclusion.

I was given my meal and asked to return the purple box. Apparently, I could’ve sat down and they would have brought the food to me. That’s a nice service to provide, especially considering the low quality of fast food experiences in general. Without telling me or printing a statement on your purple box thing I had no clue that was a feature of your establishment. I assume this is a conscious decision, but I must ask- the fuck is all that about?

What other good ideas have you been keeping under wraps? Dining area seat warmers? Glory holes in every bathroom stall? Until we know for sure, it could be anything. Probably not a picnic; more like a shoplifted VHS of Star Wars Episode One. Also I think your cow mascot is having some sort of nervous breakdown from becoming aware of his own fate, because he looks a lot like a homeless ex-mental patient less the tinfoil hat. You are a strange beast, Chik-Fil-A. Glory in the Hole-iest, A-men.

Signed, Hugh Tutootsie

[we-kant-even]

spongebob + popular schools of thought

[marbleheadofawoman]

postmodernism:

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omfg

[npr]

Bob Dylan, Titan Of American Music, Wins 2016 Nobel Prize In Literature

The prolific musician is the first American to win the prize for lifetime literary achievement in 23 years. While Dylan long enjoyed favor as an outside shot for the award, few expected him to win.

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Finally, something in 2016 that actually makes sense!

[washexthesystem]

Can we please just take a moment to talk about the ableism in “dark” subcultures.

Because society views mentally ill people as ~dangerous~ and ~scary~ it’s no surprise that people who listen to “scary” music and dress “scary” and watch scary movies - goths, punks, rockabillies, etc - would also adopt the oblivious ableism of believing mentally ill people to be scary, but that isn’t the case.

Much scarier than mentally ill people is a capitalistic society that forces people to conform to a narrow stereotype that some people are unable to fit into because they have different brain chemicals, and then those people are shunned and made into negative stereotypes simply because they can’t make as much money as someone with different brain chemicals can. THAT is scary.

You know who isn’t scary?

Teens with depression who spend most of their time in their room listening to music.

Homeless women with schizophrenia who are forced into prostitution in order to survive.

Dads who lost their jobs because they’re too manic to properly perform at work and stopped taking their meds weeks ago because they ran out and can’t afford a refill.

Little boys with such bad social anxiety that they’re scared to attend kindergarten twice a week.

Little girls with autism who get teased for dressing and acting different.

Old people on their deathbed who have never ever really been happy because they couldn’t afford proper drugs and therapy / their psychiatrist was oblivious / they were hospitalized against their will.

Much scarier than these people are the things that happen to them. So maybe the next time you try to put “psycho” in your username or tell someone that you’re “a crazy one” or think about going into psychology because “it’s just so INTERESTING” or buy a “cute but psycho” shirt or endorse clothing lines and movies (I’m looking at YOU, Suicide Squad) and people who fetishize or romanticize the “scary” aspects of mental illness, you should take a second and think, “Is this really who I want to give my money to? Is this really what I want to present myself as? Am I so uncaring and ableist that I only like the ~mentally ill~ people on TV and not the ones who are telling me to stop?”

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#CHURCH

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Avenue Q, amirite?