{hi}

I'm just some big unnecessary metaphor

[bewareofthecar1966]

oh to be a round little bird and to say beep from time to time

[did-you-know]

Human fingers can detect nano-size objects. This means you not only have the ability to feel a tiny bump the size of a large molecule, but if your finger was the size of Earth, you could determine the difference between a house and a car. Source

[shinyrock6498]

And yet its still almost impossible to find the end of the tape

[hatchibomitar]

cowards. i can already tell the difference between a house and a car

[forpiscesmoved-deactivated20200]

me at 4 am on a school night

[awwno-deactivated20260330]

[soupsluts]

My neighbors right now at 12:55 am:

[peniswakt-deactivated20210717]

china, 2500 years ago:

guy 1: hey what should we put in this boiling water

guy 2, an absolute fucking genius: uh……………..

leaves.

[wheresmyphonemp3]

[rockerj881]

Starlord: Is Footloose still the greatest movie ever?

Spiderman: It never was.

Starlord:

[fanonical]

“Did you put your name into the Goblet of Fire, Harry?” Dumbledore asked calmly.

The word ‘calmly’ can hold different meanings in different circumstances. If you were to pass someone a bucket of water calmly when their house was burning down, it could suggest that you were the sort of brave individual who was always prepared to combat the sources of arson when they occur. If you were to ask a nervous bank teller to fill a sack with money while calmly pointing a gun at their head, it might mean that you were the kind of villainous person who practiced such odious and criminal activities on a regular basis. Or if, like me, you were to sit calmly typing the next chapter of your chronicle in the lives of some unfortunate young children, while all around you the kitchen of the reputable restaurant that you were hiding in was slowly filling with sand, it would indicate that you have a life that is often filled with peril and misfortune, and that you were bound by duty to complete your task, no matter how miserable.

Of course, the word ‘calmly’ is never used to indicate a person flying into a rage and shouting your words angrily. ‘Angrily’ is in fact an antonym of ‘calmly’, an antonym being a word with entirely the opposite meaning of the original, such as ‘villain’ and ‘volunteer’, ‘birthday party’ and ‘tragic fire’, or ‘author’ and ‘happy person’.

Now, obviously, a well-read and distinguished director of cinema would never mistake a word with its antonym. That would be preposterous, a word which here means ‘create an incredibly out of character scene and confuse the audience.’

[doctor-ciel]

Did you just Lemony Snicket “Calmly™”

[getweirder]

Everyone THINKS they know the facts but I bet y’all didn’t know that John F. Kennedy was really just ‘John Kennedy’ until he died. The ‘F’ was added later to pay respects. In this essay, I will

[rneerkat-deactivated20220104]

“you think youre pretty hot stuff dont you?” i sneer at the forest fire. it gets self conscious and starts crying and its own tears put it out. one more forest saved

[newyorkcitysubway-deactivated20]

*spends a whole minute deciding whether to write u or you*

[waluiqi]

today's agenda

screaming into the abyss (2 snack breaks)

[dankmemesreasonforliving]

[heartfuzz]

[heartfuzz]

i saw my own post on my dash for the first time so here’s some explaination:

1. “The foos are fighting now until 10pm” is dad’s way of telling me “foo fighters are on austin city limits for a full hour”

2. he does not call me pops he calls himself pops and he signed the text

3. he types in shorthand and uses as little punctuation as possible hence the “baked tater”

4. to this day he’s rly proud of this. i told him he has 180k notes and he giggles and says, “what was my line again?” and i tell him, “don’t like that pic” and he gets a kick out of it

[beetlebongos]

breakfast

[elliexer-moved]

lunch

[fever-dream-deactivated20180711]

dinner

[nathankujo-deactivated20220101]

dessert

[back-that-sass-up]

cool what the FUCKING HECK does this mean tho

[layabout-city]

has. has no one else seen these. gen zillenials where u at

[heyjeffery]

[cooldogs]

[alienpapacy]

girls’ night!

[gentlealien]

girls night girls night girls night girls night girls night girls night girls night girls night girls night girls night girls night girls night girls night girls night girls night girls night